DOI issue:
March 14, 1874
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16938#0121
116
PUNCH, OB, THE LONDON CHAKIVABI.
[March 14, 1874.
A MINE OF SPECULATION.
Dealer (to Wavering Customer). “Well, of course we all Know that—he’s oot ’is Bad Points an’ ’is Good Points ; but
WHAT I SAY is, THERE’s NO DECEPTION ABOUT ’iS BAD POINTS—WE CAN SEE ’EM. BUT WE CAN’T NONE OF US TELL ’OW MANY
Good Points he may ’aye till we comes to Know ’im ! ! ” [The “ Party ’’ took time to consider.
THE WORST OF A VILLAIN.
Weigh Hannibal ! Alive, and at Lis best,
How many stone bad that great Leader weighed
Compared with that huge Criminal, now drest
In prison garb, by special measure made ?
0 that in penal servitude that slave
Were saleable, and would, if he were sold,
Fetch such a price as though the "worthless knave
For some fit use were worth his weight in gold !
’Tis hard for those in fortune who have rued
A villain’s crime, that, not in any way
Can money’s value out of him be screwed,
So that his punishment might them repay.
Nought to their good his oakum-picking tends.
E’en were he pilloried, like knaves of yore,
His infamy would make them no amends ;
No doit of damaged revenue restore.
To use of sorriest horse, or ox, or ass,
There is no putting yon Impostor big.
No good whale’s blubber is that monstrous mass ;
That fat no bacon of a wholesome pig.
Word and Deed.
The Spanish Minister of Finance has taken to calling the bonds he
is always trying to get off his hands, and on to other peoples’,
“Pagares.” We would warn our readers not to confound this unfa-
miliar term with the better-known ‘‘ puggaree.” The confusion may
come easier, as both are fabrics of the “ all-round-my-hat ” order.
The Spanish word “ Pagan' ” means “ T will pay,” but the Spanish
Minister means bv it “ 1 won't.."
“WANTED”—AND LIKELY TO BE.
WANTED, a Thorough and Trustworthy GENERAL SERVANT,
aged 30 to 40, with a good personal Character. Wages £15, all
found. No knives, boots, or windows. Two in family.”
The Advertiser must he endowed with a singularly sanguine tem-
perament, if she expects to find a Servant willing to submit to the
very hard terms she imposes. “No knives”—the only conclusion
we can come to is that the unfortunate domestic will be expected to
go back to a state of rude and barbarous manners, and to eat with
her fingers. “ No boots ’’—similarly she must also forego the com-
fort of going about her work decently shod, which, unless she is of
Irish extraction, she will find a cruel deprivation. “ No windows ”
—lastly, and probably this would be felt to be the most irksome
condition of all, she must endure to pass all her time in apartment s
where the natural light of day is never seen. The most forlorn
maid-of-all-work would refuse a place so studiously deprived of all
attraction.
Strong" Antipathies.
On the nineteenth of this month a Paper was read before the
Linnean Society, entitled “ Systematic List of the Spiders at ^present
known to inhabit Great Britain and Ireland.” As a natural conse-
quence, the respectable female who cleans the rooms.occupied by the
learned body has ever since been hysterical. If, as is expected, this
Paper on Great British Spiders is followed up by another on the
Earwigs residing in these Islands, great fears are entertained that
she will send in her resignation.
THE REAL TICHBORNE TRIAL.
Having to sit under the shower of puns and parodies it has called
1 down on Punch's devoted head.
PUNCH, OB, THE LONDON CHAKIVABI.
[March 14, 1874.
A MINE OF SPECULATION.
Dealer (to Wavering Customer). “Well, of course we all Know that—he’s oot ’is Bad Points an’ ’is Good Points ; but
WHAT I SAY is, THERE’s NO DECEPTION ABOUT ’iS BAD POINTS—WE CAN SEE ’EM. BUT WE CAN’T NONE OF US TELL ’OW MANY
Good Points he may ’aye till we comes to Know ’im ! ! ” [The “ Party ’’ took time to consider.
THE WORST OF A VILLAIN.
Weigh Hannibal ! Alive, and at Lis best,
How many stone bad that great Leader weighed
Compared with that huge Criminal, now drest
In prison garb, by special measure made ?
0 that in penal servitude that slave
Were saleable, and would, if he were sold,
Fetch such a price as though the "worthless knave
For some fit use were worth his weight in gold !
’Tis hard for those in fortune who have rued
A villain’s crime, that, not in any way
Can money’s value out of him be screwed,
So that his punishment might them repay.
Nought to their good his oakum-picking tends.
E’en were he pilloried, like knaves of yore,
His infamy would make them no amends ;
No doit of damaged revenue restore.
To use of sorriest horse, or ox, or ass,
There is no putting yon Impostor big.
No good whale’s blubber is that monstrous mass ;
That fat no bacon of a wholesome pig.
Word and Deed.
The Spanish Minister of Finance has taken to calling the bonds he
is always trying to get off his hands, and on to other peoples’,
“Pagares.” We would warn our readers not to confound this unfa-
miliar term with the better-known ‘‘ puggaree.” The confusion may
come easier, as both are fabrics of the “ all-round-my-hat ” order.
The Spanish word “ Pagan' ” means “ T will pay,” but the Spanish
Minister means bv it “ 1 won't.."
“WANTED”—AND LIKELY TO BE.
WANTED, a Thorough and Trustworthy GENERAL SERVANT,
aged 30 to 40, with a good personal Character. Wages £15, all
found. No knives, boots, or windows. Two in family.”
The Advertiser must he endowed with a singularly sanguine tem-
perament, if she expects to find a Servant willing to submit to the
very hard terms she imposes. “No knives”—the only conclusion
we can come to is that the unfortunate domestic will be expected to
go back to a state of rude and barbarous manners, and to eat with
her fingers. “ No boots ’’—similarly she must also forego the com-
fort of going about her work decently shod, which, unless she is of
Irish extraction, she will find a cruel deprivation. “ No windows ”
—lastly, and probably this would be felt to be the most irksome
condition of all, she must endure to pass all her time in apartment s
where the natural light of day is never seen. The most forlorn
maid-of-all-work would refuse a place so studiously deprived of all
attraction.
Strong" Antipathies.
On the nineteenth of this month a Paper was read before the
Linnean Society, entitled “ Systematic List of the Spiders at ^present
known to inhabit Great Britain and Ireland.” As a natural conse-
quence, the respectable female who cleans the rooms.occupied by the
learned body has ever since been hysterical. If, as is expected, this
Paper on Great British Spiders is followed up by another on the
Earwigs residing in these Islands, great fears are entertained that
she will send in her resignation.
THE REAL TICHBORNE TRIAL.
Having to sit under the shower of puns and parodies it has called
1 down on Punch's devoted head.