DOI Heft:
May 9, 1874
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16938#0198
194 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [May 9, 1874.
THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.
Ethel. “ And, 0 Mamma, do you know as we were Coming along we saw a horrid, horrid "Woman with a red, striped
Shawl, drink something out of a Bottle, and then hand it to some Men. I’m sure she was Tipsy.”
Beatrice (who always looks on the best side of things). “ Perhaps it was only Castor Oil, after all ! ”
Zounds ! "We have read nothing like Childers since BohadiVs:—
“We twenty would come into the field, the tenth of March, or thereabouts,
and we would challenge twenty of the enemy. They could not in their
honour refuse us. Well, we would kill them : challenge twenty more, kill
them; twenty more, kill them too ! . . . and thus would we kill every man
his twenty a day . . . till in two hundred days we had killed them all up by
computation ! ”
Mr. Egerton denied any intention of bringing out an Admiralty
Bogy, and entirely agreed with Mr. Ward Hunt’s statements.
(What else is Mr. Egerton there for ?)
Lord Eslington would he glad to know if Mr. Goschen’s naval
advisers had represented to him the inefficiency of our Iron-clad
fleet, as a Pall Mall paragraph had told us.
Mr. Brassey was practical and conciliatory, Mr. Bentinck dam-
natory and dissatisfied, both as usual. Mr. Shaw Le Fevre put
a few ex-official couleur-de-rose touches on the late Naval
Administration. Mr. Ward Hunt persisted he hadn’t brought out
a Bogy, but had spoken, even to the words, what his naval advisers
put into his mouth. The real friend of the Navy had been Short,
not Codlin ; Corry. not Childers—all the late Board had done had
been gradually to spend more and more, and to build less and less.
Mr. Goschen repeated his perfectly fair and final facer—“ If your
supplementary estimate is so small, how can our short-comings
have been so great ? He hoped bygones would be bygones, and
that all would work together to establish, not only the reputation,
hut the efficiency of the Navy.”
Mr. Punch must say that for candour, public spirit, good humour,
and good sense, nobody comes out of this Admiralty mess so well as
Mr. Goschen.
Friday.—The Lords talked about Schools—the Commons about
Irish Fisheries. Of course they want “ stimulating,” that is, public
money, and Mr. Synan moved a Resolution to support any well con-
sidered measure for administering stimulants to this exhausted
Irish industry. Sir M. Beach thought the Irish Reproductive
Loan Fund might be drawn on for small loans. But Mr. Butt
would prefer £20,000 down. Lord Hartington thought that
might do something; and Mr. Butt, seeing his chance, snatched a
division, and heat the Government by 95 to 93. First blood for
Mr. Butt ; and great excitement.
Sir John Lubbock moved to carry school-teaching beyond the
narrow region of the three R’s “into the wide-spread domain of
extras.” Lord Sandon promised a move—cautious, of course, and
in due time—in that direction.
Then the House and the Home-Rulers had a row over the F„ag of
Ireland— appropriate ensign for a shindy.
The Flag has published sedition, which Sir M. Beach proved by
reading some of it, and has only been “ warned,” not suppressed.
“ Shameful! ” said Sir P. O’Brien. “ Stupid ! ” argued Mr. Butt.
Proceeding against such writings only makes martyrs of the
writers. The Irish Attorney-General showed how ’tis all in the
interests of the dacent papers that we come down on the blackguard
ones.
Mr. Digby gave it them all round (like the man at Donnybrook
Fair, who first counted the heads under the canvas of a tent, and
then came down on every head in the row, impartially, with his
shillelagh), pitching into Government and also into “ the miserable
scribblers of a venal Press.” Mr. Henry and Mr. McKenna fol-
lowed suit against Government, Mr. Gregory against the “ venal
scribblers,” and the row ended, as Irish rows usually do, without
the smallest practical result.
Curious Ichthyological Observation.
“Aquarius” writes to call attention, as a striking instance of
natural adaptation, to the decided tendency of the “loose fish”
(Piscis laxns) to get tight. No doubt the creature has an instinctive
sense of its own looseness, and strives thus to remedy it.
Amended Proverb—for the Season,
_A/r <-» O-AO oto mono in-T nn n nn
(By a Belgravian Dowager.)
THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.
Ethel. “ And, 0 Mamma, do you know as we were Coming along we saw a horrid, horrid "Woman with a red, striped
Shawl, drink something out of a Bottle, and then hand it to some Men. I’m sure she was Tipsy.”
Beatrice (who always looks on the best side of things). “ Perhaps it was only Castor Oil, after all ! ”
Zounds ! "We have read nothing like Childers since BohadiVs:—
“We twenty would come into the field, the tenth of March, or thereabouts,
and we would challenge twenty of the enemy. They could not in their
honour refuse us. Well, we would kill them : challenge twenty more, kill
them; twenty more, kill them too ! . . . and thus would we kill every man
his twenty a day . . . till in two hundred days we had killed them all up by
computation ! ”
Mr. Egerton denied any intention of bringing out an Admiralty
Bogy, and entirely agreed with Mr. Ward Hunt’s statements.
(What else is Mr. Egerton there for ?)
Lord Eslington would he glad to know if Mr. Goschen’s naval
advisers had represented to him the inefficiency of our Iron-clad
fleet, as a Pall Mall paragraph had told us.
Mr. Brassey was practical and conciliatory, Mr. Bentinck dam-
natory and dissatisfied, both as usual. Mr. Shaw Le Fevre put
a few ex-official couleur-de-rose touches on the late Naval
Administration. Mr. Ward Hunt persisted he hadn’t brought out
a Bogy, but had spoken, even to the words, what his naval advisers
put into his mouth. The real friend of the Navy had been Short,
not Codlin ; Corry. not Childers—all the late Board had done had
been gradually to spend more and more, and to build less and less.
Mr. Goschen repeated his perfectly fair and final facer—“ If your
supplementary estimate is so small, how can our short-comings
have been so great ? He hoped bygones would be bygones, and
that all would work together to establish, not only the reputation,
hut the efficiency of the Navy.”
Mr. Punch must say that for candour, public spirit, good humour,
and good sense, nobody comes out of this Admiralty mess so well as
Mr. Goschen.
Friday.—The Lords talked about Schools—the Commons about
Irish Fisheries. Of course they want “ stimulating,” that is, public
money, and Mr. Synan moved a Resolution to support any well con-
sidered measure for administering stimulants to this exhausted
Irish industry. Sir M. Beach thought the Irish Reproductive
Loan Fund might be drawn on for small loans. But Mr. Butt
would prefer £20,000 down. Lord Hartington thought that
might do something; and Mr. Butt, seeing his chance, snatched a
division, and heat the Government by 95 to 93. First blood for
Mr. Butt ; and great excitement.
Sir John Lubbock moved to carry school-teaching beyond the
narrow region of the three R’s “into the wide-spread domain of
extras.” Lord Sandon promised a move—cautious, of course, and
in due time—in that direction.
Then the House and the Home-Rulers had a row over the F„ag of
Ireland— appropriate ensign for a shindy.
The Flag has published sedition, which Sir M. Beach proved by
reading some of it, and has only been “ warned,” not suppressed.
“ Shameful! ” said Sir P. O’Brien. “ Stupid ! ” argued Mr. Butt.
Proceeding against such writings only makes martyrs of the
writers. The Irish Attorney-General showed how ’tis all in the
interests of the dacent papers that we come down on the blackguard
ones.
Mr. Digby gave it them all round (like the man at Donnybrook
Fair, who first counted the heads under the canvas of a tent, and
then came down on every head in the row, impartially, with his
shillelagh), pitching into Government and also into “ the miserable
scribblers of a venal Press.” Mr. Henry and Mr. McKenna fol-
lowed suit against Government, Mr. Gregory against the “ venal
scribblers,” and the row ended, as Irish rows usually do, without
the smallest practical result.
Curious Ichthyological Observation.
“Aquarius” writes to call attention, as a striking instance of
natural adaptation, to the decided tendency of the “loose fish”
(Piscis laxns) to get tight. No doubt the creature has an instinctive
sense of its own looseness, and strives thus to remedy it.
Amended Proverb—for the Season,
_A/r <-» O-AO oto mono in-T nn n nn
(By a Belgravian Dowager.)