Punch (66.1874)

May 23, 1874.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

219

\

Maud.

Edith, self-sacrifice is beneficial,

As, if you kept vigils and fasts, you’d know;

My Drawing-rooms are all self-sacrificial;

Were they made easy, think you I should go ?

The Aunt.

My dears, enough of rhyme, and as for reason—

Girls can’t know, that is, can’t say what they mean-
But what we all want is, against next Season,

A larger Drawing-room for the poor dear Queen !

A CANTICLE OF THE CZAR.

3okay, 0 ye inha-
bitants of Dover,”
A Poet sang:—‘ ‘ Lo,
yonderwho comes
overj

The shouts and
cheers of every
loyal cove are
Due to the Czar.

“ 0 all ye ships and
batteries, salute
him!

With all your guns
your loudest wel-
come shoot him!
0 all ye bands,
drum, trumpet,
fife and flute him!
Play to the Czar.

“ 0 Officers of State,
go forth to meet
him!

0 all ye Captains
and Commanders,
greet him!

Say that there’s no
one in the world
to beat him.

So tell the Czar.

_ _ “ 0 all ye Mayors,

of various Cor-
porations !

With your Recorders, rush to railway stations,

And read addresses and congratulations

Unto the Czar.

“ 0 great Lord Mayor of London, own thy greater !

With turtle serve the Russian Imperator ;

Be thou dubbed Baronet, that thou didst cater

To him, the Czar.

“ Nor let him off thy fireworks, Crystal Palace ;

But blaze away, till, though to splendours callous,

Cheers, crackers, and champagne from a full chalice,

Excite the Czar.

“ And, after Aldershott’s mild show of battle,

On his soothed ear let our coiled Armstrongs rattle,

While in the Warren Woolwich infants prattle,

To please the Czar.

u Let King Cole’s Albert Hall in his inspection
Rejoice ; and, waxen tribute of affection,

Madame Tussaud, add unto thy Collection

The reigning Czar.

“ Ye Lions all and Tigers, in the Gardens
Called ‘ Zoo; ’ and 0 ye Bears—a thousand pardons!—

No offence meant-thrust paws and snouts thro’ barred dens

To greet the Czar.

“ 0 Elephant, wave all that in thy trunk is !

0 Hippopotamus, Rhinoceros, Monkeys,

Your homage, of a better sort than flunkeys’,

Pay to the Czar !

“ He has released his serfs in bonds from serving ;

In rule has shown beneficence unswerving;

Of praise, without a joke, he is deserving.

Earewell, sweet Czar ! ”

OUR REPRESENTATIVE MAN

(Grumbles, but Pays a Visit or Two, and Reports.)

Sir,

Seasons, are altering everywhere. I believe it’s all the
effect of the Russian Marriage. Summer is winter—winter is summer.
Spring, comes in autumn, and autumn supplants spring. But
Theatrical Seasons are becoming muddled.

The companies whirl about, so that a Theatre-goer has to follow
them in cabs, in underground railways, or trams, or in omnibuses,
as best he may.

We may soon look for the following:—

“ IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT.

“ The Gaiety Company will appear at the Globe on Tuesday and
Wednesday while the Globe Company is performing at the
Lyceum; and the Lyceum Company will appear at the Gaiety
while the Globe Company are at the Strand (for Matinees only),
with Mr. H. J. Montague, who, by his own kind permission, will
play Toots, at the Standard, with Mr. Phelps as Sir Pertinax
Macsycophant (for two evenings only), in consequence of the simul-
taneous appearance of the Company from the Court Theatre at
the Philharmonic, Islington, where the Gaiety Ojiera Bouffe
Company (which has recently concluded a successful engage-
ment at the Opera Comique, Strand,) will give their Matinees of
Madame Angot, Guy Mannering, and Cox and Box, previous to the
rentree of Mr. Charles Mathews, who will appear in a round of
his favourite characters for ten nights, in the absence of Miss
Nellie Farren and Miss Loseby, now concluding their engage-
ment—(by the kind permission of Mr. John Hollingshead, Lessee
and Manager. No Fees.)—at the Alexandra, on the second of next
month, when the Strand Company will appear, for a few nights
only, at the Olympic, and the Olympic Company will take a short
season at the Royalty, Dean Street, Soho, alternating with the
Prince of Wales’s Company, which will perform every Monday,
Thursday, and Saturday (Matinees) at the Princess’s (under the
personal superintendence of Mr. F. B. Chatterton), so that the
Strand audience may have the opportunity, hitherto withheld from
them, of witnessing the performance of a double company from the
St. James’s and Vaudeville, at Astley’s, in some of their old
favourite dramas.

“ For further particulars, apply to Mr. J. L. Toole, New York,
America, U. S., no fixed address at present, or to Mr. H. J.
Montague, somewhere about with some of his Company, or to
Mr. John Hollingshead (at any Theatre in the Great Metropolis),
and of anybody else who knows anything at all about it.

‘ ‘ In future the Librarians beg to inform their Patrons that though
ready to sell Tickets for any of the Theatres, they will not guarantee
the performance of any particular piece, or of any particular
Company.”

This promises to become a trifle complicated.

The Vaudeville Company are still at the Vaudeville, playing
Pride, out of which more is made than could have been expected,
except by the very sanguine, after the first night. There are some
good, sharp telling Epigrams, not the effect of word-catching or
word-play, but the genuine thing. There is in it much that is really
admirable. It often happens that when the wife is charming and
the husband odious, the latter is tolerated for the sake of the
former. So with Pride. Epigrammatic Dialogue is wedded to
muddle-headed, uninteresting Plot; so that ceasing to regard the
latter, you can give your undivided attention to the former, and
thence draw no small enjoyment.

Mr. Alfred Thompson has done something pretty for the Court
Theatre called Calypso or the Art of Love. It is not exactly a
little Opera Bouffe, nor a little Burlesque, nor a little musical Farce,
nor a classical Vaudeville, nor in fact anything in particular ; it is
an airy nothing put on the stage at 9.30., when late diners can stroll
in and be sufficiently amused and pleasantly soothed.

Miss Sylvia Hodson who, I think, is new to London, is very pro-
mising. Pretty, bright, and intelligent, she appears to advantage
both in the three- act farce of Playing with Fire, and in the after-
piece above mentioned.

Mr. Albery’s Wig and Gown (in which Mr. Lionel Brough is
capital, and Mr. Arthur Cecil, as the Judge, capital also) was

written for T-E. As a piece it is unsatisfactory ; but Mr. T-E

has drawn good houses. The eminent Low Comedian (who, of course,
would be annoyed if I mentioned his name, so I will only repeat

T-e) is soon leaving us for America. Alas ! poor England! Why

can’t lie take us with him ? No matter, Mr. J. L. T-e (no names

mentioned because this distinguished Drollerian hates publicity:
and not torture itself, would drag from him the secret of where he
is acting at this moment), if he cannot take us with him, takes our
very best wishes, and may he be happy in the United States.
Farewell T e! I remain as ever,

Your Representative.