DOI issue:
September 25, 1880
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17764#0152
144
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVAPI. [September 25, 1880.
IMPORTANT TO YACHTSMEN.
HONOUR TO THE BRAVE !
At the Royal Naval College, Greenwich, may be seen in the
grounds a model vessel, size of life, on which the boys are exercised
in the rigging, so that they may not go to sea without knowing the
ropes. An excellent idea. But why not apply it to intending
Yachtsmen F Institute a first-class Yacht College. Keep Yachts of
various tonnage on the grounds. If the Yacht College is by the sea-
side, the fresh breezes and the sight of the ocean will obviate all
necessity of ever quitting shore. All the fun, none of the inconve-
niences, and scarcely any expense. The practising Yachtsman can
let his imagination roam freely, and, as he generally does “fancy
himself” pretty considerably as being “all there,” he can easily
fancy himself anywhere. By an arrangement with Mr. Sam May
of Bow Street, or Messrs. Auguste & Cie., the Theatrical Cos-
tumiers—assisted by the eminent scenic Artist, Mr. Beverly, they
could wake up to find themselves in some different port every
morning, with new scenery, dresses, and appointments. This,_ of
course, would add to the expense; but a well-organised Collegiate
System could manage the whole thing at a comparatively trifling
outlay. We make the Mem. at once, as it’s just as well to yot it
down before it escapes our memory.
N. B. (which means Nota Bene, or North Britain — which-
ever you like).—Here’s a first lesson for the Nautical Latin
Grammar:—
Actum jest be Balbo—It’s “ Haul up ” with Baleus.
THE BRITON’S RETURN.
Back to town and, egad, I’m uncommonly glad
That my holiday outing is over,
For Old England’s the spot after all. I ’ll be shot
^ If my heart did not leap to see Dover !
They may prate as they please of a tour beyond seas,
And how minds are expanded by travel,
But give me the old town, though the trees are all brown,
And my house upon Kensington gravel.
It may simply be prejudice, yet I ’ve oft said
That your foreigner ’s rather repulsive;
For his language is queer, and he shouts in your ear
With contortions completely convulsive.
And I don’t think he’d mope if deprived of his soap,
^ Or would hold himself much of a martyr ;
For his matutine tub seems reduced to a rub—
That is quite independent of water.
He can cook well enough, but the sauce-covered stuff
Might be anything—horseflesh or kitten,
And the joint is unknown, which wrings many a groan
From the beef-loving son of Great Britain.
But I’m back now at last, and my troubles are past,
Though my baggage was cruelly undone ;
It was very unfair, for I’d nought “ to declare ”
But my pleasure at landing in London !
The completion of the new organisation of the Infantry being now
under consideration at the War Office, we beg to publish (pour
encourager MM. les Scieurs de long en haul—en Anglais, ‘ ‘ for to
encourage Misters the Sawers of the wood at the top ”) a few ap-
propriate titles for the new territorial Regiments. It will be seen in
performing this feat that we have prefixed to some local peculiarity
a more or less martial epithet. In these days of cherished military
traditions such a course should be followed by the best results. In
the appended list the first column indicates the present number, the
second the proposed new designation, and the third our suggestive
supplementary distinction:—
Regiment.
1st
2nd
The Royal Scots . . The Bold Bang-go-Sax-
pence Boys.
The Gueen’s Own Surrey , The Theatre Royal Yic-
Regiment toria Blood and Thun-
derers.
Uth
The Devonshire Regi-
ment
The Never-to-be-whipped
Creams.
17th and 45th
18th
22nd ^
28th and 61st
The Royal Leicestershire
and Notts Regiment
(Sherwood Foresters)
The Royal Irish
The Cheshire Regiment .
Royal Gloucestershire
Regiment
The Courageous Crystal
Palace Feters.
The Personally Patriotic
Pats.
The Guite-the-Cheese
Men.
The Strongly Recom-
mended Double Glos-
ters.
34th and 55th
Royal Cumberland and
Westmoreland Regi-
ment
The Liberating Lillie
Bridge (Good Friday)
Wrestlers.
37 th and 67th
57th and 77th
72nd and 91st
and
102nd and 103rd
The Hampshire Regiment
The Royal Middlesex
Regiment
The Argyleshire High-
landers
The Royal Dublin Fu-
sileers
The Gallant Go-the-
Whole Hoggers.
The Chivalrous Cockney
Conquerors.
The Ubiquitous Use-a-
Posters.
The Sinewy and Stimu-
lating Extra-Stout
Men.
BLACKING ’EM TO WIN.
Ik the Field's report of the performance of the Cambridge Town
Bicycle Club, we find this entry
“ Half-Mile Race on ‘ bone-shalcers,’ not exceeding 36t'«.—Banham, 1.”
Mr. Burgess on Mr. Moore’s back would have been “in it.”
There isn’t a better “ bone-shaker ” than Mr. Moore of Moore Hall,
St. James’s. But then—he never will perform out of that Hall.
Anyway, it’s a tip for the Mastodon Minstrels and any other
Dark Race.
Strong Recommendation.
The following advertisement, unearthed from the Daily News,
shows a real appreciation of the total abstinence theory and
practice:—
TO MASTER COOKS and CONFECTIONERS.—A Young Man,
just finishing his apprenticeship, is in Want of a permanent Situation
in London. Been an abstainer all his life, and whose character is otherwise
unsullied. W ill have first-class recommendation from present employer.—
Address, &c.
0 Wise Young Judge of what’s good! There’s a great future before
this youthful Confectioner.
Any Amount—Reward ! ! !
Just at the last moment an invisible individual rang the bell and
left the following Guery and Answer in our post-box :—
Q. Why should an Auctioneer be a melancholy person P
A. Because he is always in a more-bid state.
Anyone giving information that shall lead to the detection of the
perpetrator of this outrage, shall receive the above reward.
A Protracted Inn-quest.—Looking out for a hotel at a fashionable
overcrowded Watering-place.
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVAPI. [September 25, 1880.
IMPORTANT TO YACHTSMEN.
HONOUR TO THE BRAVE !
At the Royal Naval College, Greenwich, may be seen in the
grounds a model vessel, size of life, on which the boys are exercised
in the rigging, so that they may not go to sea without knowing the
ropes. An excellent idea. But why not apply it to intending
Yachtsmen F Institute a first-class Yacht College. Keep Yachts of
various tonnage on the grounds. If the Yacht College is by the sea-
side, the fresh breezes and the sight of the ocean will obviate all
necessity of ever quitting shore. All the fun, none of the inconve-
niences, and scarcely any expense. The practising Yachtsman can
let his imagination roam freely, and, as he generally does “fancy
himself” pretty considerably as being “all there,” he can easily
fancy himself anywhere. By an arrangement with Mr. Sam May
of Bow Street, or Messrs. Auguste & Cie., the Theatrical Cos-
tumiers—assisted by the eminent scenic Artist, Mr. Beverly, they
could wake up to find themselves in some different port every
morning, with new scenery, dresses, and appointments. This,_ of
course, would add to the expense; but a well-organised Collegiate
System could manage the whole thing at a comparatively trifling
outlay. We make the Mem. at once, as it’s just as well to yot it
down before it escapes our memory.
N. B. (which means Nota Bene, or North Britain — which-
ever you like).—Here’s a first lesson for the Nautical Latin
Grammar:—
Actum jest be Balbo—It’s “ Haul up ” with Baleus.
THE BRITON’S RETURN.
Back to town and, egad, I’m uncommonly glad
That my holiday outing is over,
For Old England’s the spot after all. I ’ll be shot
^ If my heart did not leap to see Dover !
They may prate as they please of a tour beyond seas,
And how minds are expanded by travel,
But give me the old town, though the trees are all brown,
And my house upon Kensington gravel.
It may simply be prejudice, yet I ’ve oft said
That your foreigner ’s rather repulsive;
For his language is queer, and he shouts in your ear
With contortions completely convulsive.
And I don’t think he’d mope if deprived of his soap,
^ Or would hold himself much of a martyr ;
For his matutine tub seems reduced to a rub—
That is quite independent of water.
He can cook well enough, but the sauce-covered stuff
Might be anything—horseflesh or kitten,
And the joint is unknown, which wrings many a groan
From the beef-loving son of Great Britain.
But I’m back now at last, and my troubles are past,
Though my baggage was cruelly undone ;
It was very unfair, for I’d nought “ to declare ”
But my pleasure at landing in London !
The completion of the new organisation of the Infantry being now
under consideration at the War Office, we beg to publish (pour
encourager MM. les Scieurs de long en haul—en Anglais, ‘ ‘ for to
encourage Misters the Sawers of the wood at the top ”) a few ap-
propriate titles for the new territorial Regiments. It will be seen in
performing this feat that we have prefixed to some local peculiarity
a more or less martial epithet. In these days of cherished military
traditions such a course should be followed by the best results. In
the appended list the first column indicates the present number, the
second the proposed new designation, and the third our suggestive
supplementary distinction:—
Regiment.
1st
2nd
The Royal Scots . . The Bold Bang-go-Sax-
pence Boys.
The Gueen’s Own Surrey , The Theatre Royal Yic-
Regiment toria Blood and Thun-
derers.
Uth
The Devonshire Regi-
ment
The Never-to-be-whipped
Creams.
17th and 45th
18th
22nd ^
28th and 61st
The Royal Leicestershire
and Notts Regiment
(Sherwood Foresters)
The Royal Irish
The Cheshire Regiment .
Royal Gloucestershire
Regiment
The Courageous Crystal
Palace Feters.
The Personally Patriotic
Pats.
The Guite-the-Cheese
Men.
The Strongly Recom-
mended Double Glos-
ters.
34th and 55th
Royal Cumberland and
Westmoreland Regi-
ment
The Liberating Lillie
Bridge (Good Friday)
Wrestlers.
37 th and 67th
57th and 77th
72nd and 91st
and
102nd and 103rd
The Hampshire Regiment
The Royal Middlesex
Regiment
The Argyleshire High-
landers
The Royal Dublin Fu-
sileers
The Gallant Go-the-
Whole Hoggers.
The Chivalrous Cockney
Conquerors.
The Ubiquitous Use-a-
Posters.
The Sinewy and Stimu-
lating Extra-Stout
Men.
BLACKING ’EM TO WIN.
Ik the Field's report of the performance of the Cambridge Town
Bicycle Club, we find this entry
“ Half-Mile Race on ‘ bone-shalcers,’ not exceeding 36t'«.—Banham, 1.”
Mr. Burgess on Mr. Moore’s back would have been “in it.”
There isn’t a better “ bone-shaker ” than Mr. Moore of Moore Hall,
St. James’s. But then—he never will perform out of that Hall.
Anyway, it’s a tip for the Mastodon Minstrels and any other
Dark Race.
Strong Recommendation.
The following advertisement, unearthed from the Daily News,
shows a real appreciation of the total abstinence theory and
practice:—
TO MASTER COOKS and CONFECTIONERS.—A Young Man,
just finishing his apprenticeship, is in Want of a permanent Situation
in London. Been an abstainer all his life, and whose character is otherwise
unsullied. W ill have first-class recommendation from present employer.—
Address, &c.
0 Wise Young Judge of what’s good! There’s a great future before
this youthful Confectioner.
Any Amount—Reward ! ! !
Just at the last moment an invisible individual rang the bell and
left the following Guery and Answer in our post-box :—
Q. Why should an Auctioneer be a melancholy person P
A. Because he is always in a more-bid state.
Anyone giving information that shall lead to the detection of the
perpetrator of this outrage, shall receive the above reward.
A Protracted Inn-quest.—Looking out for a hotel at a fashionable
overcrowded Watering-place.