DOI Heft:
November 6, 1880
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17764#0214
206
PUNCH, OR THE LUInEUIN CHARIVARI.
[November 6, 1880.
The trembling Grand Vizier, called up in the dead of night,
hastened to the sanctum of his Sovereign.
“0 Sultan of Sultans ! ” sobbed the unlucky Minister, prostrating
himself before the Imperial couch. “The meanest of thy slaves
hopes to escape the bowstring! "What has he done that his loved
Master should frown upon him F ”
. “Rise, Grand Yizier, and be not a fool,” said the Monarch gra-
ciously. “ I want thy brains, and not thy head. Quick—pens, ink,
and paper.”
In a moment the now reassured official was seated on the floor in
an attitude of rapt attention.
The Sultan, drew from his breast a paper, kissed it, and then
returned it to its resting-place. Then he commenced in an excited
voice—
“Know, 0 pig! that I am about to put my financial affairs in
business-like order! ”
The Grand Vizier shook his head in a melancholy fashion, but held
his peace. He had heard something of the sort frequently before.
“ I to'll do my duty ! ” cried the Sultan, enthusiastically. “ I will
pay my debts! And, as a first step towards this end, invite the cursed
European Dogs—I should say the Turkish Bond-holders—to send
delegates to Constantinople to enter into direct communication with
the Ottoman Government.”
“.As there are ten categories of Bond-holders of different nation-
alities, all with more or less conflicting claims, will not this be a
difficult task, 0 Defender of the Faithful ? ” was the Grand Vizier’s
feeble suggestion.
“Dog! Degraded dog!” shouted the angry Monarch, hurling
his slipper at his offending Minister. “ That is their business, and
not mine ! Say another word and thou shalt spend the remainder of
thy miserable life in company with the fishes of the Bosphorus! ”
The wounded official, hearing this, kept a discreet silence, and
waited for further instructions.
“Tell them,” dictated the Sultan, “that I propose recommencing
payment of the interest on their bonds by a simple expedient. I
invite them to appoint a Banker who shall have the honour of incur-
ring a fresh debt of eight millions sterling—on their behalf—in their
name ! ” The Grand Yizier did not raise his eyes from his writing.
‘ ‘ Add that of course they must look after the floating debt and
arrange about the Russian Indemnity. But when this is done—mark
my words—when this is done they shall have, subject, of course, to
my general supervision, all the remainder.'” And the Sultan’s
face beamed again with an expression of gratified generosity.
“ What remainder ? ” asked the Grand Yizier unconsciously.
“Pig! Paltry pig! ” shouted the angry Monarch, throwing his
second slipper at the head of his Minister. “ Dost thou dare to laugh
at my beard P I haven’t got a beard—but no matter. ‘ What re-
mainder ! ’ That is their business, and not mine ! Away, dolt! And
if the Circular is not to my liking, beware of the torture-chamber ! ”
Within a couple of hours the Grand Yizier once more presented
himself before his master. Grovelling in the dust, he handed his
Sovereign a despatch.
“Very fair, indeed ! ” murmured the Sultan as he perused the
Circular. “And I have news to tell thee. Hobart Pacha has
suggested a new impost.”
“Indeed, my Lord! I thought every source of income was ex-
hausted.”
“Faith, and so did I,” answered the Padishah, relapsing for a
moment into his ancient language. “But, bedad, the Admiral’s
found another ! He suggests an elegant tax upon Ambassadors !
And now away to the Printers, the Pressmen, and the Tele-
graphers ! ”
HOW AND WHY IT WAS DONE »
PUNCH, OR THE LUInEUIN CHARIVARI.
[November 6, 1880.
The trembling Grand Vizier, called up in the dead of night,
hastened to the sanctum of his Sovereign.
“0 Sultan of Sultans ! ” sobbed the unlucky Minister, prostrating
himself before the Imperial couch. “The meanest of thy slaves
hopes to escape the bowstring! "What has he done that his loved
Master should frown upon him F ”
. “Rise, Grand Yizier, and be not a fool,” said the Monarch gra-
ciously. “ I want thy brains, and not thy head. Quick—pens, ink,
and paper.”
In a moment the now reassured official was seated on the floor in
an attitude of rapt attention.
The Sultan, drew from his breast a paper, kissed it, and then
returned it to its resting-place. Then he commenced in an excited
voice—
“Know, 0 pig! that I am about to put my financial affairs in
business-like order! ”
The Grand Vizier shook his head in a melancholy fashion, but held
his peace. He had heard something of the sort frequently before.
“ I to'll do my duty ! ” cried the Sultan, enthusiastically. “ I will
pay my debts! And, as a first step towards this end, invite the cursed
European Dogs—I should say the Turkish Bond-holders—to send
delegates to Constantinople to enter into direct communication with
the Ottoman Government.”
“.As there are ten categories of Bond-holders of different nation-
alities, all with more or less conflicting claims, will not this be a
difficult task, 0 Defender of the Faithful ? ” was the Grand Vizier’s
feeble suggestion.
“Dog! Degraded dog!” shouted the angry Monarch, hurling
his slipper at his offending Minister. “ That is their business, and
not mine ! Say another word and thou shalt spend the remainder of
thy miserable life in company with the fishes of the Bosphorus! ”
The wounded official, hearing this, kept a discreet silence, and
waited for further instructions.
“Tell them,” dictated the Sultan, “that I propose recommencing
payment of the interest on their bonds by a simple expedient. I
invite them to appoint a Banker who shall have the honour of incur-
ring a fresh debt of eight millions sterling—on their behalf—in their
name ! ” The Grand Yizier did not raise his eyes from his writing.
‘ ‘ Add that of course they must look after the floating debt and
arrange about the Russian Indemnity. But when this is done—mark
my words—when this is done they shall have, subject, of course, to
my general supervision, all the remainder.'” And the Sultan’s
face beamed again with an expression of gratified generosity.
“ What remainder ? ” asked the Grand Yizier unconsciously.
“Pig! Paltry pig! ” shouted the angry Monarch, throwing his
second slipper at the head of his Minister. “ Dost thou dare to laugh
at my beard P I haven’t got a beard—but no matter. ‘ What re-
mainder ! ’ That is their business, and not mine ! Away, dolt! And
if the Circular is not to my liking, beware of the torture-chamber ! ”
Within a couple of hours the Grand Yizier once more presented
himself before his master. Grovelling in the dust, he handed his
Sovereign a despatch.
“Very fair, indeed ! ” murmured the Sultan as he perused the
Circular. “And I have news to tell thee. Hobart Pacha has
suggested a new impost.”
“Indeed, my Lord! I thought every source of income was ex-
hausted.”
“Faith, and so did I,” answered the Padishah, relapsing for a
moment into his ancient language. “But, bedad, the Admiral’s
found another ! He suggests an elegant tax upon Ambassadors !
And now away to the Printers, the Pressmen, and the Tele-
graphers ! ”
HOW AND WHY IT WAS DONE »