Punch (103.1892)

42 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [July 30, 1892.

UNPLEASANT DUTIES OF CLUB LIFE.

Monsieur Victor Achille Petroly, the new Chef, is suddenly summoned before the Committee to receive a Reprimand

The Question is, Who's to administer it ?

WILLIAM THE WHEELMAN.

Enthusiastic Cyclist loquitur:—

I have noticed with unfeigned and real
pleasure, [jumps!)

The rapid growth of Cycling. {How it
To those who have the energy and leisure
It affords—{Confound this saddle! it so
bumps !)

"What otherwise would be quite unattainable,
A healthy, and a pleasurable form

Of exercise. (Yes, health is hereby gainable;
But I am most uncomfortably warm !)

It gives them the advantages of travel,

{By Jingo ! I was nearly over then !
A tumble and the ''''gravel-rash " would gravel

The nimblest of extremely Grand Old Men)
Which, previous to the Cycle's happy advent,

Were out of almost everybody's reach.
{And to the " spirits " of the cycling-cad vent.

'Arry on Wheels the law must manners
teach.)

It's really very much more profitable
Than is the long luxurious railway journey.

{If in the saddle I feel not more stable,
I'll be " unhorsed," liketilter in a tourney!)

Monotonous the journey from the City,
Along a fixed unalterable route.

{This is an old " bone-shaker." 'TVs a pity !
For over the front wheel one's apt to shoot.)

The traveller's whirled from station unto

station,

(J wish there were more stations on this
road,)

"With hardly half a chance for observation.

{If I know where lam, may I be Mowed '),

Without an opportunity to examine
The district. ( Wish that I could spot a pub.'

For I am overdone with thirst and famine,
And see no chance of tipple or of grub !

{I must travel many miles o"er clay or cobble,
I fear, before I 11 have a real rest,

The big wheel and the little shift and wobble,
I think'the low pneumatic Cycle's best.

Eh ? "Dangerous to Cyclists ! " That's a
notice,

I fancy, that suggests a spin down-hill.
How stiff I feel ' How very parched my
throat is ! [spill!)

Hold up ' By Jove, but that was near a

I emphasise the fact tbat I consider [ivheel

That, physically—{Pheugh! that little
Is dangerous as poor old Weller's " widder")

Yes, morally, and socially, I feel
The benefits of Cycling are unbounded,

Almost—{Almost I fear a nasty fall!
I wish, with big and little wheel confounded,

That I were on a Safety, after all!)

"Whisper by An ill "Wind.—If Alderman
Knill cannot conscientiously attend the Es-
tablished Church service, whereat it is not
essential for a Lord Mayor to be present, the
Court of Aldermen ought to be proud of nim,
and elect him " Willy-Knilly " to be Lord
Mayor all the same. Whatever may be the
result, of Alderman Knill nothing but good
can be said. " Nil nisi bonum."

Black Game.—"Bother Morocco;" says
a Sportsman. "What's the news from the
Moors ? "

A PROSPECT OF THE TWELFTH.

{By an Impressionist.)

Certainly, I can foresee my adventures.
I oan tell of my march over the heather, of
my delight as the breezy air sweeps over the
moors, and helps to bronze my already sun-
burnt face!

I can fancy the chatter of the keeper as he
holds my second gun, and pays me that atten-
tion which can only be wiped off by tips ! I
can hear the sound of the first shot, and deci-
pher the meaning of the initial puff of smoke!

I can see the shadows disappearing as lunch-
time comes to hand. I can recognise the cart
with its goodly contents, and the girls who
will sit beside us as we discuss our modest
pies (hot and savoury,) and quaff our '84.
And then I can hear the retreating footsteps
as the darlings trip away, leaving us to
resume our chase after the birds.

And then the shadows will grow longer,
and the sun will set behind the hills in a
mass of purple, red, and gold; and it will
be time for us to turn our faces towards the
shooting-box that will shelter us through the
long watches of the summer's night.

And lastly I can see the final halt at the
poulterer's, as we purchase the grouse to fill
our bags before the journeying home.

A Geographical Theory.—" Where is
Liberia ? " inquired one cultured person of
another, d propos of Mrs. Ricks's interview
with the Queen. " I'm sure I don't know,"
was the answer, "but—judging by the name
—I should think it was exactly opposite to
Siberia."