DOI Heft:
August 6, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0057
August 6, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
51
" Come away I " So Sirens sing—
Sly, seducious, and skittish—
To the Tourist, wealthy, British,
When Society's on the wing,
Or should he, for " Foreign Parts."
British Bull mistrusts their arts.
" Come away ! "
(One doth say),
11 Our Emperor is quiet to-day ! "
Cries another,
44 Come, my brother,
" Avalanches down again! "
Sings a third, with beckoning fingers,
" Come, come, where the Cholera lin
gers /"
While a fourth—is it her fun ?—
With the wide blue eyes of Hope
(As though advertising Soap),
Shouts, with glee,
'' Come with me,
Unto Norroway, o'er the foam,
Far from home,
Wait there to see
Our (invisible) Midnight Sun ! "
Bull, the tweed-clad British Tourist,
Muses—44 Home seems the securest,
On the whole. Why widely ramble,
Tramp, and climb, and spend, and gamble,
Face infection, dulness, danger,
All the woe that waits 44 the Stranger,"
And the Tourist (rich) environs,
At the call of foreign Sirens,
When home charmers, bright-eyed, active,
Offer 44 metal more attractive ? "
Four such darlings who '11 discover
O'er the seas ? Shall I, their lover,
Still discard them for yon minxes,
Harpies with the eyes of 44 lynxes" ?
Albion dear, and Cambbia mild,
Caledonia stern and wild,
As your poet said, but pretty ;
Hibebnia mavourneen, jetty-
Hair'd, and azure-eyed, I greet ye !
Darlings, I am charmed to meet ye.
Why go wandering" o'er the foam,
Like a latter-day Ulysses,
When warm charms and wooing-kisses
Of such Sirens Four wait me at home ? "
UNLUCKY COMPLIMENT.
Shoeblack {wishing to please liberal and important Customer). "Shouldn't like to get a
Kick from You, Sik ! " [Gets one on the spot.
"I/HOMME PROPOSE—."
[Gentlemen are now coached " How to Propose."]
They sat it out upon the stairs,
Those dear old stairs ! Ah me ; how many
A time they've cost, all unawares,
A pretty penny!
Why they were fools enough to go
To sit on stairs, and miss the fun,
Quite baffles me ; but still, you know,
It has been done.
The lights were
low — lights
often are—
I deem the fact
though worth
the noting,
And strains of
music from
afar
Came softly
floating.
So whilst she pondered what Mamma
Would think, the band commenced to play
The epidemical 44 Ta-ra-
ra-boom-de-ay ! "
He gazed into her eyes (of blue).
Sighed once as if it hurt him badly,
Then told her how 'twas but too true
He loved her madly.
With highly creditable skill
He turned the well-worn platitude—
His own unworthiness—until
You really could
Not but admire each word, each look._
His speech was quite unrivalled in its
Intensity—in fact it took
At least ten minutes.
A peroration full of flowers,
A. moisture in his other eye,
And then a pause—it seemed of hours—
For her reply.
Her answer eame. He thought of it,
It haunted him for long years after,
She simply burst into a fit
Of ribald laughter.
And certainly it was absurd,
She laughed till she could laugh no more
She'd heard the same thing, to a word,
The day before.
Two tyros in the Art of Love,
Each Aba Bella's ardent suitor,
Unluckily were pupils of
The self-same tutor!
So, should you fail to understand
A maiden's answer, this may show
Why sometimes Man proposes and
The Girl says 44No!"
Skirts and Figubes.—M. Jacobi, of the
Alhambra, has composed a 44 Skirt-dance,"
which has recently appeared in the Figaro.
That the skirts for which the Composer has
written are brand-new, and require no mend-
ing, is evident from the fact that, from first
to last, there is no 44 Skirt-sew"—in Italian,
Scherzo—movement.
A ROLLICKING SHOW.
In the International Horticultural Exhi-
bition is, as advertised, 4 4 the Kiosk of the
Australian Irrigation Colonies (Chafpey
Bros.)." What fun the Chaefey Brothers
must make of everything in the Exhibition!
As long as the other exhibitors don't mind
the chaff of the Chaffey Brothers, all will
be harmonious. No doubt, round their Kiosk
there are crowds all day, in roars of laughter,
at the chaffing perpetually going on. The
travelling Cheap Jack, were he in the build-
ing, would have some difficulty to hold his
own against even one of the Chaffey
Brothers, but pitted against an unlimited
number of Chaffey Brothers, for their
number is not stated in the advertisement,
the unfortunate Cheap Jack would not be let
off cheaply. Apart from Buffalo Bill,
whose Show with a variety of novelties, is
still a very big attraction, and the other
amusements, this exhibit of Chaffey
Brothers engaged in chaff-cutting, must be
about one of the most attractive things in
the Horticultural. By the way. in this
same advertisement, there is a mysterious
announcement 44 Stand 48." Of course, if
in addition to their entertainment, they
44 stand 48 "—though with this vintage we are
not acquainted ; perhaps it should be '84 Pom-
mery,—then the Brothers are simply hors de
concours, and competition would be hopeless.
The veby Place fob the next Spabbino-
Match.—"Box Hill."
51
" Come away I " So Sirens sing—
Sly, seducious, and skittish—
To the Tourist, wealthy, British,
When Society's on the wing,
Or should he, for " Foreign Parts."
British Bull mistrusts their arts.
" Come away ! "
(One doth say),
11 Our Emperor is quiet to-day ! "
Cries another,
44 Come, my brother,
" Avalanches down again! "
Sings a third, with beckoning fingers,
" Come, come, where the Cholera lin
gers /"
While a fourth—is it her fun ?—
With the wide blue eyes of Hope
(As though advertising Soap),
Shouts, with glee,
'' Come with me,
Unto Norroway, o'er the foam,
Far from home,
Wait there to see
Our (invisible) Midnight Sun ! "
Bull, the tweed-clad British Tourist,
Muses—44 Home seems the securest,
On the whole. Why widely ramble,
Tramp, and climb, and spend, and gamble,
Face infection, dulness, danger,
All the woe that waits 44 the Stranger,"
And the Tourist (rich) environs,
At the call of foreign Sirens,
When home charmers, bright-eyed, active,
Offer 44 metal more attractive ? "
Four such darlings who '11 discover
O'er the seas ? Shall I, their lover,
Still discard them for yon minxes,
Harpies with the eyes of 44 lynxes" ?
Albion dear, and Cambbia mild,
Caledonia stern and wild,
As your poet said, but pretty ;
Hibebnia mavourneen, jetty-
Hair'd, and azure-eyed, I greet ye !
Darlings, I am charmed to meet ye.
Why go wandering" o'er the foam,
Like a latter-day Ulysses,
When warm charms and wooing-kisses
Of such Sirens Four wait me at home ? "
UNLUCKY COMPLIMENT.
Shoeblack {wishing to please liberal and important Customer). "Shouldn't like to get a
Kick from You, Sik ! " [Gets one on the spot.
"I/HOMME PROPOSE—."
[Gentlemen are now coached " How to Propose."]
They sat it out upon the stairs,
Those dear old stairs ! Ah me ; how many
A time they've cost, all unawares,
A pretty penny!
Why they were fools enough to go
To sit on stairs, and miss the fun,
Quite baffles me ; but still, you know,
It has been done.
The lights were
low — lights
often are—
I deem the fact
though worth
the noting,
And strains of
music from
afar
Came softly
floating.
So whilst she pondered what Mamma
Would think, the band commenced to play
The epidemical 44 Ta-ra-
ra-boom-de-ay ! "
He gazed into her eyes (of blue).
Sighed once as if it hurt him badly,
Then told her how 'twas but too true
He loved her madly.
With highly creditable skill
He turned the well-worn platitude—
His own unworthiness—until
You really could
Not but admire each word, each look._
His speech was quite unrivalled in its
Intensity—in fact it took
At least ten minutes.
A peroration full of flowers,
A. moisture in his other eye,
And then a pause—it seemed of hours—
For her reply.
Her answer eame. He thought of it,
It haunted him for long years after,
She simply burst into a fit
Of ribald laughter.
And certainly it was absurd,
She laughed till she could laugh no more
She'd heard the same thing, to a word,
The day before.
Two tyros in the Art of Love,
Each Aba Bella's ardent suitor,
Unluckily were pupils of
The self-same tutor!
So, should you fail to understand
A maiden's answer, this may show
Why sometimes Man proposes and
The Girl says 44No!"
Skirts and Figubes.—M. Jacobi, of the
Alhambra, has composed a 44 Skirt-dance,"
which has recently appeared in the Figaro.
That the skirts for which the Composer has
written are brand-new, and require no mend-
ing, is evident from the fact that, from first
to last, there is no 44 Skirt-sew"—in Italian,
Scherzo—movement.
A ROLLICKING SHOW.
In the International Horticultural Exhi-
bition is, as advertised, 4 4 the Kiosk of the
Australian Irrigation Colonies (Chafpey
Bros.)." What fun the Chaefey Brothers
must make of everything in the Exhibition!
As long as the other exhibitors don't mind
the chaff of the Chaffey Brothers, all will
be harmonious. No doubt, round their Kiosk
there are crowds all day, in roars of laughter,
at the chaffing perpetually going on. The
travelling Cheap Jack, were he in the build-
ing, would have some difficulty to hold his
own against even one of the Chaffey
Brothers, but pitted against an unlimited
number of Chaffey Brothers, for their
number is not stated in the advertisement,
the unfortunate Cheap Jack would not be let
off cheaply. Apart from Buffalo Bill,
whose Show with a variety of novelties, is
still a very big attraction, and the other
amusements, this exhibit of Chaffey
Brothers engaged in chaff-cutting, must be
about one of the most attractive things in
the Horticultural. By the way. in this
same advertisement, there is a mysterious
announcement 44 Stand 48." Of course, if
in addition to their entertainment, they
44 stand 48 "—though with this vintage we are
not acquainted ; perhaps it should be '84 Pom-
mery,—then the Brothers are simply hors de
concours, and competition would be hopeless.
The veby Place fob the next Spabbino-
Match.—"Box Hill."