Punch (103.1892)

52 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 6, 1892.

ON THE SANDS.

(A Sketch at Margate.)

Close under the Parade Wall a large circle has been formed, consist-
ing chiefly of Women on chairs and camp-stools, with an inner
ring of small children, who are all patiently awaiting the arrival
of a troupe of Niggers. At the head of one of the flights of steps
leading up to the Parade, a small and shrewish Child-nurse is

out! (The Child sings the first verse of a popular Music-hall song, in a
squeaky little voice.) Talk about nightingales! Come 'ere, and
receive the reward for extinguished incapacity. On your knees!
( The little Girl kneels before him while a tin medal is fastened upon
her frock.) Rise, Sir Connie Cockle ! Oh, you lucky girl!

The Child returns, swelling with triumph, to her companions,
several of whom come out, and go through the same per-
formance, with more or less squeakiness and self-posses-
sion.

endeavouring to detect and recapture a pair of prodigal younger First Admiring Matron [in audience). I do like to see the children

Brothers, who have given her the slip.

kep' out o' mischief like this, instead o' goin' paddling and messing

Sarah (to herself). Wherever can them two plegs have got to ? <: about the sands!
{Aloud; drawing a bow at a venture.) Albert! 'Enery! Come} Second Ad. Mat. Just what J say, my dear—they're amused and
up 'ere this minnit. i see yer ! , edjucated 'ow to beyave at the same time!

'Enery (under the steps—to Albert^. I say—d'ye think she do ?—; First Politician (with the '''Standard''''). No, but look here—when

'cos if- Gladstone was asked in the House whether he proposed to give the

Albert. Not she ! Set tight. [They sit tight, j Dublin Parliament the control of the Police, what was his answer ?

Sarah (as before). Why ....

'Enery! Albert! r-SsT\ f? Niggers (strikin g

"You've bin and 'alf ^^jt^fi ^___ up chorus). " Pum-

killed little G-eorgie ^if^X ^^T^ v ' 7 110-—-v «^r~^i tumty-diddly-umpty-

betweenyer! j4MV^^ «M doodah dey ! Bum-

'Enery (moved, to ^^^^^^ '-N^^Mj^^^^^, r> tumty - diddly - um,"

Albert), Did vou 'ear wm&'^ ^i^WB^ll^V^ tif * Jjagpflib'' was all that he could

that, Bert ? It wasn't y,;;Sl J&> "H^W^^^^T I ' ^ say 1 And t]xe Members

me upset him—was it #1 ' fW i*Wi ''VJ^lP^lr V* *" and the Speaker joined

now? :-%.A:v^Mr^ n^ifllf*''f^^PiWW~: -T together in the lay, Of

Albert (impenitent). Li >M ____- -•- Mil PI ^k^^^^m^^ ■ '< > \ " Hum-tumty-diddly-

'Oo caresf The Nig- L0fm^%^m^.^M |* |f) 'jTWSkk^iL ; . ,\ \ umty doodah-dey!''
gers '11 be back direckly. t , \ fcfflfj I iW I 9^ WMS^^^A^' A ' Second Pol. (with the

Sarah. Al - bert ! )\\%^^M^\^\ W/'^^^»«^il' 'J "Star")- Well, and

'Enery! Your father's / I (SOIj §tj: uMll111 mmllmMllk ( V M$jLi~it\/ ¥j£ X Mak r/ what more would you

bin down'ere once after hfB^gtHSSl ^^4iftWM#Mi^^^A Jmk // have tim say?

you. You '11 ketch it! - 1 'm^JmAhm -'frnt^'^W^l iWf M^^^M^ dmlmki \\ Come, now !

Albert (sotto voce). ' ^^W^^Myt rM____:ftr&< " \ V I ''^m^^m^^f^^^B^1 Alf- (who has had

Not till Father ketches , ^>J^^A ul \ i ( } Ji1 I^RflKf YT^WJm/flllf^^i. \\ «Luite enough ale at

us. we shan't. Keep ,'^^^fe^:"t!7^:>C*^^^r""^::^s^^S^i^^^i-^^W^/fUnSlSi^^^/ k^Mw^mll^lf^^^ ' dinner—to his fiancee

still, 'enery-we 're all WK1$5^yCS& These Niggers ain't up

right under'ere! „ ^mS^^k^W^ fiM^i^^^^^M'T^m to much, Loo. Can't

Sarah (more diplo- ^J'MM^^mA^ ■ If \v *^ iffrUw Ww^Smm^kt^II'l ^Wsr^c* sin<f * or nuts '

matically). 'Enery! ' ^SfiS^yS \\ \S£ m/fe V>YmM'' t^U^S^^/Wmm \\ fr* \ Ch or ley (his friend—

Albert! Father's bin | I mTJfSK&Hn1 WP t perfidiously). You'd

and left a'ap'ny apiece ^^^^^^M'^ if/ full I m wJm\\ \W i ti i^WW^l I IIm f \ \ better go in and show

for yer. Ain't yer WW*' V M fl S lIv'PL tfl f^ /f MmSm m w M 'em how, old man. Me

comin' up for it? If mm U^-.._-w 'i ';SlW,'f/«/ |l# I li \> and Miss Serge'11 stay

that's all! "^W^- \ ^^^/^f^l'l &/// US FraPs you

Albert (to'Enery). 1 W§> \ -iWfetl 1?^^ M W 1$ think I can't. But, if

^noo we 'adn t done ' \ ^^^^l^^^^^s^Jrlf / j/Met mw- vml I was to go upon the

nothin'. An'I'm goin' • \ -5=:^^gwfMP »W 'Alls now' 1 should

up to git that ap'ny, I £=1^ ' / ^S^^^ /'/ K W make my fortune in no

am. fe^*s*=-;::,| ~=^^i#^/'hMtff W^\f time! Loo's 'card me

'Enery. So'm I. M/ r'ntl/l- I when I 've been in

[They emerge, and as- 0^0^ —_— " ^r~x^? ^ ' / ' ~ form, and she '11 tell

be pounced upon _ £^ ^^^^^^^^^^S';^.s:s^^^^^^C''^=^:;^^': _- Jfm Serge. Well, I

immediately by the -^--;r \^^^\^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^. - :_____ will say there's many

ingenious Sara.h.-------7 ''p^^J-'^rszU-r'1':^~-:-2rE2:z^^-- a professional might

Sarah. 'Ap'ny, in- -^^J^^^m-*^-^^^^^^^^-." ^^x^V-^T^.:^^ learn a lesson from Alp

deed! You won't git ^^Ssl^lii^ Xc^^^^^^^^^C'""^ ^"'^ —whether Mr. Perkins

no 'apence 'ere, J can ^A^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^-- ~~~ believes it or not.

tell yer — so jest you ~~—[Cuttingly, to " Chor-

come along 'ome with ^^^^^^^ ley."

^' A »Come to these legs !" Charley. Now reelly,

{Exeunt Albert and Miss Loo, don t come

'Enery, in captivity, as the Niggers enter the circle. down on a feller like that. I want to see him do you credit, that's
Pones. We shall commence this afternoon by 'olding our Grand all, and he couldn't 'ave a better opportunity to distinguish himself
Annual Weekly Singing Competition, for the Discouragement of —now could he ?

Youthful Talent. Now then, which is the little gal to step out first
and git a medal ? (The Children giggle, but remain seated.) Not
one ? Now I arsk you—What is the use 0' me comin' 'ere, throwin'
away thousands and thousands of pounds on golden medals, if you
won't take the trouble to stand up and' sing for them ? Oh, you '11
make me so wild, I shall begin spittin' 'alf-sovereigns directly—I
know 1 shall! (A little Girl in a sun-bonnet comes forward.) Ah,
'ere's a young lady who's bustin' with melody, i can see. Your
name, my dear? Ladies and Gentlemen, I have the pleasure to

Miss Serge. I'm not preventing him. But I don't know—these
niggers keep themselves very select, and they might object to it.

Alf. I'll soon square them. You keep your eye on me, and I'11
make things a bit livelier ! [He enters the Circle.

Miss Serge (admiringly). He has got a cheek, I must say ! Look
at him, dancing there along with those two Niggers—they don't
hardly know what to make of him yet!

Chorley. Do you notice how they keep kicking him beyind on the
sly like ? I wonder he puts up with it!

announce that Miss Connie Cockle will now appear. Don't curtsey Miss S. He '11 be even with them presently—you see if he isn't,
till the Orchestra gives the chord. (Chord from the harmonium— [Alp attempts to twirl a tambourine on his finger, and lets it fall;
the Child advances, and curtsies with much aplomb.) Oh, lor! call] derision from audience ; Bones pats him on the head, and

that a curtsey—that's a cramp, that is ! Do it all over again!
(The Child obeys, disconcerted.) That's worse! I can see the
s'rimps blushin' for yer inside their paper bags! Now see Me do it.
(Bones executes a caricature of a curtsey, which the little Girl copies
with terrible fidelity.) That's ladylike—that's genteel. Now sing

takes the tambourine away—at which Alf only smiles feebly.
Chorley. It's a pity he gets so 'ot dancing, and he don't seem to
keep in step with the others.

Miss S. (secretly disappointed). He isn't used to doing the dcuble-
shuffle on sand, that's all.