DOI Heft:
August 6, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0059
August 6, 1892.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
53
The Conductor. Bones, I observe we haye a recent addition to our
Company. Perhaps he'11 favour us with, a solo. [Aside to Bones.)
'Oo is he? 'Oo let him in 'ere—you f
Bones. I dunno. I thought you did. Ain't he stood nothing ?
Conductor. Not a brass farden !
Bones [outraged). All right, you leave him to me. [To Alf.) Kin
it be ? That necktie! them familiar coat-buttons! that paper-
dicky ! You are—you are my long-lost Convick Son, 'ome from
Portland! Come to these legs! {He embraces Alf. and smothers
him with kisses.) Oh, you've been and rubbed off some of your
cheek on my complexion—you dirty boy ! (He playfully " bashes "
Alf's hat in.) Now show the comp'ny how pretty you can sing.
(Alf attempts a Music-hall ditty, in which he, not unnaturally,
breaks down.)^ It ain't my son's fault, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's all
this little gal in front here, lookin' at him and makin' him shy ! (To
a small Child, severely.) You oughter know worse, you ought!
(Clumps of sea-weed and paper-balls are thrown at Alf, who by this
time is looking deplorably warm and foolish.) Oh, what a popilar
fav'rite he is to be sure I
Chorley (to Miss S.). Poor fellow, he ain't no match'for those
Niggers—not like he is now ! Hadn't I better £0 to the rescue, Miss
Loo ?
Miss 8. (pettishly). I'm sure I don't care what you do.
["Chorley" succeeds, after some persuasion, in removing the
unfortunate Alf.
Alf. (rejoining his fiancee with a grimy face, a smashed hat, and a
pathetic attempt at a grin). Well ? I done it, you see !
Miss S. (crushingly). Yes, you have done it! And the best thing
you can do now, is to go home and wash your face. I don't care to
be seen about with a laughing-stock, I can assure you ! I 'ye had my
dignity lowered quite enough as it is!
Alf. But look 'ere, my dear girl, I can't leave you here all by
yourself, you know!
Miss S. I daresay Mr. Perkins will take care of me.
[Mr. P. assents, with effusion.
Alf. (watching them move away—with bitterness). I wish all
Niggers were put down by Act of Parliament, I do! Downright
noosances—that's what they are !
OUH BOOKING-OFFICE.
Ulysses has been travelling again, and the record of his journey-
ings is set forth in The Modern Odyssey, which Cassell & Co.
publish in one volume, with some charming illustrations in callotype.
My Baronite notes a quaint dis-
position on the part of the old
gentleman to begin at the very
beginning. Thus, when he lands
in New York, he furnishes a brief
account of Columbus, and how he
came to discover America. The
tarry history of Australia, and eke
of China, are dealt with in the
same instructive manner. This is
all very well for Ulysses, who
comes fresh on the scene, and
learns for the first time all about
the Genoese, about Captain Cook,
and how '' a little more than a
century ago eleven ships sailed
from England," anchored in the
Bay where now Sydney stands,
and — strange to say ! — did not
find a populous city, but only
green fields and a river running
into the sea. Pour nous autres,
age has somewhat withered the
bloom of this story, and it might
have been left peacefully slnm-
bering in the Encyclopaedias. But
it can be skipped, and, for the
rest, there will be found a swift
Ulysses on lour. succession of pictures of life and
scenery in the Greater Britain that girdles the world. Ulysses
must have been much struck with the change since he first went a
gipsying-. But of that he discreetly says nothing.
Baron- be Book-Worms & Co.
We've got Our Lynx Eye on Him!—In the Times' legal
reports for Tuesday, July 26, 1892, Queen's Bench Division, Colonel
FitzGeorge sued a Mr. Bolls Calvert Link. Mr. Cannot de-
fended Link. But Cannot Could Not do much for his client Link,
who did not appear. Evidently, "The Missing Link."
COURT ON!"
The "Triple Bill" still going strong at the Court. The New
Sub, a smartly-written little One-Aot Play, by Seymour Hicks,
notable for good performance all round, but especially for the
rendering: of Mrs. Darlington, by Miss Gertrude Kingston, of
Mq/or JEnsor, by Brandon Thomas, and of Second-Lieutenant
Darlington, by Mr. Ernem
Bertram — uncommonly
Earnest Bertram. The
Scene is in a Hut at
Shorncliffe. Hutesotera. If
Lieutenant Crookendon's
catch - phrase about " a
funny world" were re-
peated just about five times
• j: less frequently than it is,
the piece, the part, and
the public would be dis-
tinctly gainers.
At 9 10, appears Faith-
ful James, represented by
Mr. Weedon Grossmith.
It is a finished and quietly
droll performance. The
author, Mr. B. C. Ste-
phenson ("B.C." makes
Stephensonius, B.C. (date unR&rtairi), qui him quite a classic—date
Jacobum Fidelem scripsit. uncertain, so his plot may
(From an old Bronze Medal.) have been done in colla-
boration with Plautus or Terence) has reproduced from the French
a neatly-constructed One-Act piece, in which are all the possibilities
of a Three-Act Criterion or Palais Boyal Farcical Comedy. So rapid
is the action, all over in about forty-five minutes, and so much to the
point of the plot is the dialogue, that an inattentive auditor would
soon lose the thread of the argument, never to pick it up again any-
where. Miss Ellaline Terris is just that very Mrs. Duncan.
Brandon Thomas is a breezy, brusque, and Admirable Admiral -
and Mr. Draycott a
hearty husband, very
much in love with
his pretty little
wife. Mr. Little
makes much, per-
haps almost a Little
too much, of _ his
small but essentially
important part,—they
are all important parts.
—and of Miss Sybil
Grky can be said
"Nous savons Gre a
Mile. Sybil" Mr.
Sidney Warden's
Character Sketch of
the young and rather
raw German Waiter,
is excellent ; the
Waiter being "raw,"
is not overdone. Not
a dull second in the
farce. Will our B.C.
Author give us some
of his adaptations
from Plautus, Ter-
ence (some good oid
Irish plots of course,
in the writings of this Faithful James, as originally seen on the walls of
author), and a few Winchester College,
other ancients with whom he was, it is most probable, personally
and intimately acquainted. To think that the Wandering Jew, who
oan only sign himself " A.I).," is " not in it " in point of time with
our Stephenson "B.C." !
After this comes the Pantomime Rehearsal, which everybody
should see, and which nearly everybody must have seen by this
time. Success to the Triple Bill, which, in the political world,
might mean Sir William Harcourt and William Gladstone, the
latter William " counting two on a division."
Exact.—" He is somethiag in the Church," said Mrs. B.., trying
to describe the social position of a clerical friend of hers. " I forget
what it is, but it's a something like ' Dromedary ;' only, you needn't
smile, of course I know it couldn't be that, as a Dromedary has two
humps on his back. Or, stop!" she exclaimed, suddenly, "am I
confusing him with a Minor Camel ? "
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
53
The Conductor. Bones, I observe we haye a recent addition to our
Company. Perhaps he'11 favour us with, a solo. [Aside to Bones.)
'Oo is he? 'Oo let him in 'ere—you f
Bones. I dunno. I thought you did. Ain't he stood nothing ?
Conductor. Not a brass farden !
Bones [outraged). All right, you leave him to me. [To Alf.) Kin
it be ? That necktie! them familiar coat-buttons! that paper-
dicky ! You are—you are my long-lost Convick Son, 'ome from
Portland! Come to these legs! {He embraces Alf. and smothers
him with kisses.) Oh, you've been and rubbed off some of your
cheek on my complexion—you dirty boy ! (He playfully " bashes "
Alf's hat in.) Now show the comp'ny how pretty you can sing.
(Alf attempts a Music-hall ditty, in which he, not unnaturally,
breaks down.)^ It ain't my son's fault, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's all
this little gal in front here, lookin' at him and makin' him shy ! (To
a small Child, severely.) You oughter know worse, you ought!
(Clumps of sea-weed and paper-balls are thrown at Alf, who by this
time is looking deplorably warm and foolish.) Oh, what a popilar
fav'rite he is to be sure I
Chorley (to Miss S.). Poor fellow, he ain't no match'for those
Niggers—not like he is now ! Hadn't I better £0 to the rescue, Miss
Loo ?
Miss 8. (pettishly). I'm sure I don't care what you do.
["Chorley" succeeds, after some persuasion, in removing the
unfortunate Alf.
Alf. (rejoining his fiancee with a grimy face, a smashed hat, and a
pathetic attempt at a grin). Well ? I done it, you see !
Miss S. (crushingly). Yes, you have done it! And the best thing
you can do now, is to go home and wash your face. I don't care to
be seen about with a laughing-stock, I can assure you ! I 'ye had my
dignity lowered quite enough as it is!
Alf. But look 'ere, my dear girl, I can't leave you here all by
yourself, you know!
Miss S. I daresay Mr. Perkins will take care of me.
[Mr. P. assents, with effusion.
Alf. (watching them move away—with bitterness). I wish all
Niggers were put down by Act of Parliament, I do! Downright
noosances—that's what they are !
OUH BOOKING-OFFICE.
Ulysses has been travelling again, and the record of his journey-
ings is set forth in The Modern Odyssey, which Cassell & Co.
publish in one volume, with some charming illustrations in callotype.
My Baronite notes a quaint dis-
position on the part of the old
gentleman to begin at the very
beginning. Thus, when he lands
in New York, he furnishes a brief
account of Columbus, and how he
came to discover America. The
tarry history of Australia, and eke
of China, are dealt with in the
same instructive manner. This is
all very well for Ulysses, who
comes fresh on the scene, and
learns for the first time all about
the Genoese, about Captain Cook,
and how '' a little more than a
century ago eleven ships sailed
from England," anchored in the
Bay where now Sydney stands,
and — strange to say ! — did not
find a populous city, but only
green fields and a river running
into the sea. Pour nous autres,
age has somewhat withered the
bloom of this story, and it might
have been left peacefully slnm-
bering in the Encyclopaedias. But
it can be skipped, and, for the
rest, there will be found a swift
Ulysses on lour. succession of pictures of life and
scenery in the Greater Britain that girdles the world. Ulysses
must have been much struck with the change since he first went a
gipsying-. But of that he discreetly says nothing.
Baron- be Book-Worms & Co.
We've got Our Lynx Eye on Him!—In the Times' legal
reports for Tuesday, July 26, 1892, Queen's Bench Division, Colonel
FitzGeorge sued a Mr. Bolls Calvert Link. Mr. Cannot de-
fended Link. But Cannot Could Not do much for his client Link,
who did not appear. Evidently, "The Missing Link."
COURT ON!"
The "Triple Bill" still going strong at the Court. The New
Sub, a smartly-written little One-Aot Play, by Seymour Hicks,
notable for good performance all round, but especially for the
rendering: of Mrs. Darlington, by Miss Gertrude Kingston, of
Mq/or JEnsor, by Brandon Thomas, and of Second-Lieutenant
Darlington, by Mr. Ernem
Bertram — uncommonly
Earnest Bertram. The
Scene is in a Hut at
Shorncliffe. Hutesotera. If
Lieutenant Crookendon's
catch - phrase about " a
funny world" were re-
peated just about five times
• j: less frequently than it is,
the piece, the part, and
the public would be dis-
tinctly gainers.
At 9 10, appears Faith-
ful James, represented by
Mr. Weedon Grossmith.
It is a finished and quietly
droll performance. The
author, Mr. B. C. Ste-
phenson ("B.C." makes
Stephensonius, B.C. (date unR&rtairi), qui him quite a classic—date
Jacobum Fidelem scripsit. uncertain, so his plot may
(From an old Bronze Medal.) have been done in colla-
boration with Plautus or Terence) has reproduced from the French
a neatly-constructed One-Act piece, in which are all the possibilities
of a Three-Act Criterion or Palais Boyal Farcical Comedy. So rapid
is the action, all over in about forty-five minutes, and so much to the
point of the plot is the dialogue, that an inattentive auditor would
soon lose the thread of the argument, never to pick it up again any-
where. Miss Ellaline Terris is just that very Mrs. Duncan.
Brandon Thomas is a breezy, brusque, and Admirable Admiral -
and Mr. Draycott a
hearty husband, very
much in love with
his pretty little
wife. Mr. Little
makes much, per-
haps almost a Little
too much, of _ his
small but essentially
important part,—they
are all important parts.
—and of Miss Sybil
Grky can be said
"Nous savons Gre a
Mile. Sybil" Mr.
Sidney Warden's
Character Sketch of
the young and rather
raw German Waiter,
is excellent ; the
Waiter being "raw,"
is not overdone. Not
a dull second in the
farce. Will our B.C.
Author give us some
of his adaptations
from Plautus, Ter-
ence (some good oid
Irish plots of course,
in the writings of this Faithful James, as originally seen on the walls of
author), and a few Winchester College,
other ancients with whom he was, it is most probable, personally
and intimately acquainted. To think that the Wandering Jew, who
oan only sign himself " A.I).," is " not in it " in point of time with
our Stephenson "B.C." !
After this comes the Pantomime Rehearsal, which everybody
should see, and which nearly everybody must have seen by this
time. Success to the Triple Bill, which, in the political world,
might mean Sir William Harcourt and William Gladstone, the
latter William " counting two on a division."
Exact.—" He is somethiag in the Church," said Mrs. B.., trying
to describe the social position of a clerical friend of hers. " I forget
what it is, but it's a something like ' Dromedary ;' only, you needn't
smile, of course I know it couldn't be that, as a Dromedary has two
humps on his back. Or, stop!" she exclaimed, suddenly, "am I
confusing him with a Minor Camel ? "