DOI issue:
August 6, 1892
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0066
60 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 6, 1892.
"BUMBLE BARNARD0 ; OR,
THE BUZZY B."
" I feel almost compelled to con-
cur in the widely-known dictum of
the redoubtable Mr. Bumble."—
Extractfrom Lettei of Dr. Barnardo
to the " Times:'
JUST LIKE JUSTICE.
(Notes on the Next Case.)
Commencement of the Case.—T
am an enthusiast, and I am jotting
down on this sheet of paper the
story of my last exploit. A few-
days since I saw a dear little fellow
in long clothes deserted by its
mother, and took quite an interest
in it. The next I hear of the
sweet little boy is that he had been
caught up by Dr. Marcellus and
carried to his Home ! Shall T per-
mit this? No, from the view I had
of the mother before she deserted
the little lad (who, by the way, was
called Pitt Wellington, after
two statesmen recently deceased), I
imagine she must have been a Re-
formed Revivalist of the New Con-
nexion. Pitt Wellington shall be
Drought up as a Reformed Revivalist
of the New Connexion. {Signed
Mary Heavisides, Spinster and
Landowner'.
Written Seven Years later.-—-I have found this document amongst
the late Miss Heavisides' papers. It is common knowledge that she
took proceedings against Dr. Marcellus to produce Pitt Wellington.
At the time of her death she had not succeeded. However, there is
a fair sum mentioned in her will to carry her point. I drew the
document myself at her dictation, and made it safe for the pro-
fession. There ought to be some nice pickings before *' it is all over
but the shouting," as my ancient client, the late Lord Dashover,
used to observe. {Signed) Richard Roe, Solicitor to the late Miss
Mary Heavisides.
Added Four Years after.—This case of Pitt Wellington and
Dr. Marcellus is a troublesome matter; however, as trustee under the
will I suppose I have no option, at least that is the opinion of Mr.
Richard Roe. We are seeking to get Dr. Marcellus before the
Court. After delays from various reasons the matter is now practically
settled. Is Pitt Wellington to be brought up as a Reformed
Revivalist of the New Connexion, or is he not ? Well, we shall
know soon. {Signed) James Brown, Trustee and Executor under
the Will o f Miss Mary Heavisides.
Added Five Years' later.—A great joke. Just found this paper in
poor old Uncle Jim's strong box. How that case about Pitt
Wellington did worry him ! Five years ago, and still at the first
stage ! Nothing much could be done as Dr. Marcellus had taken
Pitt Wellington out of the country. (Signed) Tom Boy, Nephew
to the late James Brown.
Added Two Years' later.—This paper commenced seriously and
treated with levity by the last writer has fallen into our hands. As
we find the note of one of our partners we add to it. The case of Brown
v. Marcellus is still before the Court. The second Judge had to have
the whole matter explained to him anew. It is a pity that there is
not a law forcing occupants of the Bench to hear their own cases
before they are allowed to retire. But that is beside the question.
As to Brown v. Marcellus, we got the defendant before the Court and
Mr. Justice Robinson has issued a writ of habeas corpus. We shall
now have Pitt Wellington before us to see if he should be made a
Reformed Revivalist of the New Connexion or not. By the way, as
these proceedings were commenced some years ago, he must be be-
coming a fine boy by now! (Signed) John Doe, Junior Partner of
the firm o/Roe, Sons, Doe. Tompkins and Doe.
Written after Another Year.—Strange to find this paper full of
notes. Well I may as well continue them, and put them back in the
bundle from which I have taken them out. The bundle will tell its
own story. It is full of summonses, copies of affidavits draft instruc-
tions, and I know not what. It came out of the box marked Brown
v. Marcellus. That's been a nice case. Fifteen years of it, and we
are still waiting our turn in the list of the Court of Appeal. Not
that we haven't been there before. Oh yes ; we argued whether we
had any right to take the matter before them. Strong Bar. Two Law
Officers of the Crown on one side, and the Ex-Attorney and the Ex-
solicitor on the other. By the way, how the infant must be getting
on! He must have taken to moustaches and a beard by this time !
(Signed) Bobby Binks, Clerk to 3fessrs. Roe, Sons, Doe, Tompkins,
Doe, Sons and Marvel.
Written a Year later.—This is really a most interesting find. So
the cause of Brown v. Marcellus was commenced many many years
ago ! I know it had the reputation of being pretty ancient, but had
no idea it was so old. Fancy, that I should write on the same page
under the signature of my grandfather? Well, old Dr. Marcellus
stood to his guns, and declared that we had no right to move in the
matter at all. We were only a trustee under a Will, and it was not
our matter. Then we ran through the Courts. Divisional, Appeal,
right into the House of Lords. And the worthy Doctor won! How-
ever, Brown's heir was a bit of a sportsman, and made him a Ward
in Cbancery. Just could do it, Pitt Wellington only in his twen-
tieth year. That has put us right, Should go on straight now.
(Signed) Luke Roe, Junior Partner of Roe, Sons, Doe, Tompkins,
Doe and Roe.
Written after an indefinite Period.—This is a most useful memo-
randum, as it gives an idea of what has been
done hitherto. Our firm seems to have
wisely kept the action open by paying the
term-fee. As our late respected client's
heir has for a son a young Barrister not in
very large practice, I am not surprised that
we are requested to continue the action. Of
course, the son of our late respected client's
heir, is to be briefed. Well, I dare say we
shall be able to do something. Have per-
haps quite a pleasant time of it. At any
rate, we have made a move by taking out a
summons before the Chief Clerk. (Signed)
Ja mes Tompkins, Surviving Partner of
aW?R0E&C0. Quite a Pleasant Time.
Written 1 hree Years after the last Entry.
—I am very glad I insisted upon looking through the papers when
I accepted tbe brief in Brown v. Marcellus. This paper is fairly
accurate, save that it describes me as "a Barrister not in very large
practice." That is a misstatement. I have been called only ten
years, and yet last term I made enough to pay for my share of our
Chambers and half the salary of our Clerk in common. Not in
large practice, indeed! But to return to Brown v. Marcellus. We
have done splendidly. We have been before the Courts, and taken
it again up to the Lords. The contention I have held for the last
three years is at last said to be correct. We have a right to the
body of Pitt Wellington, and when we have brought that body
before the Court, the Court will order it to be educated as a Reformed
Revivalist of the New Connexion. I consider the establishment of
this point a great forensic victory. (Signed) Arthur Briefless,
Barrisfer-at Law.
Written Six Years later.—After five years' diligent search, we
have discovered the whereabouts of Mr. Pitt Wellington, accord-
ing to the instructions furnished us by
Messrs. Roe, Nephews, Tompkins and
Backgammon._ We regret, however, to
say that it will be impossible to carry
out the instructions of the Court to
produce him, that he might be brought
up as a Reformed Revivalist of the New
Connexion (a sect, we fancy, that disap-
peared some twenty years ago), as the
alleged infant, the object of our search,
died at the advanced age of ninety-two
j\ during the past summer. We add this
jjjM, mem to this paper, as the document
( seems to have reference to the matter
\ we have in hand, and which now must
ever be an incomplete suit. (Signed)
Hand and Glove. Private Inquiry
Agents.
Final Endorsement.—Messrs. Digge
An Incomplete Suit. and Delve having had the honour to
be commanded to make the necessary arrangements for the obsequies
of the late Mr. Pitt Wellington, beg to say (on this memorandum)
that they have not been fortunate enough to carry out the transac-
tion to their entire satisfaction. Messrs. D. and D. were able to
ascertain the funeral rites of the Reformed Revivalists of the New
Connexion (very poor and inexpensive rites), but have found out that
the late Mr. Pitt Wellington himself placed a difficulty in their
path. Messrs. D. and D. have ascertained with regret that the late
Mr. Pitt Wellington has been cremated, having died a Buddhist.
ADVICE GRA.TIS.—Starting in Trade. (To "Frugality.")
—You say that you have opened a " general shop " for the sale,
amonsr other things, of milk, paraffin oil, tobacco, sweetmeats, and
fried fish, and you ask whether it will be necessary to take out any
kind of licence, and if so, what ?-Surely you are joking. If so, a
game-licence might suit you; or why not try the Examiner of
Plays? If you are serious, it seems to us no further licence is
needed ; you have taken enough already.
"Les Deux Charlies," i.e. the Common Serjeant (resigned) and
the Recorder. The one is " Not there at all," and the other is " Hall
there." (N.B.—Mem. to the Recorder, this is "a Short Sentence.")
(fjp NOTICE.—.Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., printed Master, Drawings, or Pictures ox any description, wiu
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule
there will be no exception.
"BUMBLE BARNARD0 ; OR,
THE BUZZY B."
" I feel almost compelled to con-
cur in the widely-known dictum of
the redoubtable Mr. Bumble."—
Extractfrom Lettei of Dr. Barnardo
to the " Times:'
JUST LIKE JUSTICE.
(Notes on the Next Case.)
Commencement of the Case.—T
am an enthusiast, and I am jotting
down on this sheet of paper the
story of my last exploit. A few-
days since I saw a dear little fellow
in long clothes deserted by its
mother, and took quite an interest
in it. The next I hear of the
sweet little boy is that he had been
caught up by Dr. Marcellus and
carried to his Home ! Shall T per-
mit this? No, from the view I had
of the mother before she deserted
the little lad (who, by the way, was
called Pitt Wellington, after
two statesmen recently deceased), I
imagine she must have been a Re-
formed Revivalist of the New Con-
nexion. Pitt Wellington shall be
Drought up as a Reformed Revivalist
of the New Connexion. {Signed
Mary Heavisides, Spinster and
Landowner'.
Written Seven Years later.-—-I have found this document amongst
the late Miss Heavisides' papers. It is common knowledge that she
took proceedings against Dr. Marcellus to produce Pitt Wellington.
At the time of her death she had not succeeded. However, there is
a fair sum mentioned in her will to carry her point. I drew the
document myself at her dictation, and made it safe for the pro-
fession. There ought to be some nice pickings before *' it is all over
but the shouting," as my ancient client, the late Lord Dashover,
used to observe. {Signed) Richard Roe, Solicitor to the late Miss
Mary Heavisides.
Added Four Years after.—This case of Pitt Wellington and
Dr. Marcellus is a troublesome matter; however, as trustee under the
will I suppose I have no option, at least that is the opinion of Mr.
Richard Roe. We are seeking to get Dr. Marcellus before the
Court. After delays from various reasons the matter is now practically
settled. Is Pitt Wellington to be brought up as a Reformed
Revivalist of the New Connexion, or is he not ? Well, we shall
know soon. {Signed) James Brown, Trustee and Executor under
the Will o f Miss Mary Heavisides.
Added Five Years' later.—A great joke. Just found this paper in
poor old Uncle Jim's strong box. How that case about Pitt
Wellington did worry him ! Five years ago, and still at the first
stage ! Nothing much could be done as Dr. Marcellus had taken
Pitt Wellington out of the country. (Signed) Tom Boy, Nephew
to the late James Brown.
Added Two Years' later.—This paper commenced seriously and
treated with levity by the last writer has fallen into our hands. As
we find the note of one of our partners we add to it. The case of Brown
v. Marcellus is still before the Court. The second Judge had to have
the whole matter explained to him anew. It is a pity that there is
not a law forcing occupants of the Bench to hear their own cases
before they are allowed to retire. But that is beside the question.
As to Brown v. Marcellus, we got the defendant before the Court and
Mr. Justice Robinson has issued a writ of habeas corpus. We shall
now have Pitt Wellington before us to see if he should be made a
Reformed Revivalist of the New Connexion or not. By the way, as
these proceedings were commenced some years ago, he must be be-
coming a fine boy by now! (Signed) John Doe, Junior Partner of
the firm o/Roe, Sons, Doe. Tompkins and Doe.
Written after Another Year.—Strange to find this paper full of
notes. Well I may as well continue them, and put them back in the
bundle from which I have taken them out. The bundle will tell its
own story. It is full of summonses, copies of affidavits draft instruc-
tions, and I know not what. It came out of the box marked Brown
v. Marcellus. That's been a nice case. Fifteen years of it, and we
are still waiting our turn in the list of the Court of Appeal. Not
that we haven't been there before. Oh yes ; we argued whether we
had any right to take the matter before them. Strong Bar. Two Law
Officers of the Crown on one side, and the Ex-Attorney and the Ex-
solicitor on the other. By the way, how the infant must be getting
on! He must have taken to moustaches and a beard by this time !
(Signed) Bobby Binks, Clerk to 3fessrs. Roe, Sons, Doe, Tompkins,
Doe, Sons and Marvel.
Written a Year later.—This is really a most interesting find. So
the cause of Brown v. Marcellus was commenced many many years
ago ! I know it had the reputation of being pretty ancient, but had
no idea it was so old. Fancy, that I should write on the same page
under the signature of my grandfather? Well, old Dr. Marcellus
stood to his guns, and declared that we had no right to move in the
matter at all. We were only a trustee under a Will, and it was not
our matter. Then we ran through the Courts. Divisional, Appeal,
right into the House of Lords. And the worthy Doctor won! How-
ever, Brown's heir was a bit of a sportsman, and made him a Ward
in Cbancery. Just could do it, Pitt Wellington only in his twen-
tieth year. That has put us right, Should go on straight now.
(Signed) Luke Roe, Junior Partner of Roe, Sons, Doe, Tompkins,
Doe and Roe.
Written after an indefinite Period.—This is a most useful memo-
randum, as it gives an idea of what has been
done hitherto. Our firm seems to have
wisely kept the action open by paying the
term-fee. As our late respected client's
heir has for a son a young Barrister not in
very large practice, I am not surprised that
we are requested to continue the action. Of
course, the son of our late respected client's
heir, is to be briefed. Well, I dare say we
shall be able to do something. Have per-
haps quite a pleasant time of it. At any
rate, we have made a move by taking out a
summons before the Chief Clerk. (Signed)
Ja mes Tompkins, Surviving Partner of
aW?R0E&C0. Quite a Pleasant Time.
Written 1 hree Years after the last Entry.
—I am very glad I insisted upon looking through the papers when
I accepted tbe brief in Brown v. Marcellus. This paper is fairly
accurate, save that it describes me as "a Barrister not in very large
practice." That is a misstatement. I have been called only ten
years, and yet last term I made enough to pay for my share of our
Chambers and half the salary of our Clerk in common. Not in
large practice, indeed! But to return to Brown v. Marcellus. We
have done splendidly. We have been before the Courts, and taken
it again up to the Lords. The contention I have held for the last
three years is at last said to be correct. We have a right to the
body of Pitt Wellington, and when we have brought that body
before the Court, the Court will order it to be educated as a Reformed
Revivalist of the New Connexion. I consider the establishment of
this point a great forensic victory. (Signed) Arthur Briefless,
Barrisfer-at Law.
Written Six Years later.—After five years' diligent search, we
have discovered the whereabouts of Mr. Pitt Wellington, accord-
ing to the instructions furnished us by
Messrs. Roe, Nephews, Tompkins and
Backgammon._ We regret, however, to
say that it will be impossible to carry
out the instructions of the Court to
produce him, that he might be brought
up as a Reformed Revivalist of the New
Connexion (a sect, we fancy, that disap-
peared some twenty years ago), as the
alleged infant, the object of our search,
died at the advanced age of ninety-two
j\ during the past summer. We add this
jjjM, mem to this paper, as the document
( seems to have reference to the matter
\ we have in hand, and which now must
ever be an incomplete suit. (Signed)
Hand and Glove. Private Inquiry
Agents.
Final Endorsement.—Messrs. Digge
An Incomplete Suit. and Delve having had the honour to
be commanded to make the necessary arrangements for the obsequies
of the late Mr. Pitt Wellington, beg to say (on this memorandum)
that they have not been fortunate enough to carry out the transac-
tion to their entire satisfaction. Messrs. D. and D. were able to
ascertain the funeral rites of the Reformed Revivalists of the New
Connexion (very poor and inexpensive rites), but have found out that
the late Mr. Pitt Wellington himself placed a difficulty in their
path. Messrs. D. and D. have ascertained with regret that the late
Mr. Pitt Wellington has been cremated, having died a Buddhist.
ADVICE GRA.TIS.—Starting in Trade. (To "Frugality.")
—You say that you have opened a " general shop " for the sale,
amonsr other things, of milk, paraffin oil, tobacco, sweetmeats, and
fried fish, and you ask whether it will be necessary to take out any
kind of licence, and if so, what ?-Surely you are joking. If so, a
game-licence might suit you; or why not try the Examiner of
Plays? If you are serious, it seems to us no further licence is
needed ; you have taken enough already.
"Les Deux Charlies," i.e. the Common Serjeant (resigned) and
the Recorder. The one is " Not there at all," and the other is " Hall
there." (N.B.—Mem. to the Recorder, this is "a Short Sentence.")
(fjp NOTICE.—.Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., printed Master, Drawings, or Pictures ox any description, wiu
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule
there will be no exception.