DOI Heft:
August 13, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0069
August 13, 1892.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
63
FORTE SCUTUM SALUS PUCUM.
In St. Swithin's forty days
Comes the end of voting-frays ;
Forty extra then arrays
Mr. 0.
Tie had hoped for many more,
But he cannot even score
Forty-four, that fought he for —
Mr. G.
Fortified with fortitude,
Kule your motley multitude,
And so earn our gratitude
Mr. G.!
Oh majority, you know
" Gently does it; " therefore go
Quite piano, Forty—show
Mr. G.
Though his forty is not fat,
It is fair at least; so that
John shall not be taxed for Pat,
Mr. G.
STUDIES IN IDIOCY.
She. "Mrs. Moffat's the oddest "Woman ! She's fond of meeting Clever People,
you know, and she never opens her LlPS, but listens to every word they say,
and puts it all down in a DlARY after ! "
He. "Haw—ry Jove ! Shall take precious good care avhat I say before her! "
Spare him income tax that grieves,
Lest he think that he perceives
An Baba's Forty-
Mr. G. !
Walker!—Mr. Toole is going into the
country, and Mr. Garden is to take his
place. This sounds like a seasonable change,
as Londoners who cannot get away to a
Garden, will now have a Garden coming to
them.
"NO FEES."
(In rc Payne v. 'Enry Ilauthor Jones.)
Alas, poor Jones, how sad your fate!
The Law's stern coldness comes to freeze
Your burning wish to captivate
With words you know will always please—
"No fees!"
When " bang goes saxpcnce " for a page
Of poorest paper, where one sees
More puffs than programme, then your rage
Seems right. One cries. "At least for
these No fees!"
If Dr. Bbamwell,* who they say
Cures psychological disease,
Had known he would have willed away
Your Payjse, like tooth-ache—he would
seize "No fees I"
You've lost the case, and now, '' that's flat,".t
Must pay those eminent Q, C.'s
Your Bill of Costs! No Play-bill that!
You will not rind the Law decrees
"No fees."
* Mentioned in Tiinen Loading Article, Aug. 3.
f "That's flat." Henry (Author Shaks-
peark) IV., Part I., Act I., Scene 13.
A Trio.—Congratulations to Sir William
Custns, who from his known admiration for
Wagner, is generally known as " Cusins
German." He was a "King's Scholar," and
King, whoever he was, must have found him
a remarkably apt pupil. He has composed a
Comic Opera called Giddy ' Un. The next
Knight is Josefh Barnby, a name sugges-
tive of pure rustic music. The last of the
Knights, Sir Walter Parratt, has chosen
as his device the ancient legend always
associated with the head of the Parratt
family, i.e., " Scratch a Poll." This dates
from very ancient times, and was an inscrip-
tion found in a temple of Apollo.
Ominous.—Unfortunate name for a piece is
Cigarette. So suggestive of "parieY^"' and ol
^ " ending in smoke." Absit omen !
AII)S>TO LARCENY.—(By an " Outside
Croakei'.")—! find that since I started off
shopping this morning, I have lost my purse,
my handkerchief, the keys of all my boxes
arid drawer's, a silver-mounted scent-bottle,
my season-ticket, and a pocket-book con-
taining priceless materials for the plot of a
three-volumed novel. This comes of riding
on the outside of an omnibus with garden-
seats.-Conductor, the gentlemanly person
who sat just behind me, and who is now
proceeding rather quickly up Chancery Lane,
seems to have been unable to resist the
temptation afforded by my hanging coat-tails,
and has walked off with a few unpaid bills
which were in the pockets, under a mistaken
impression that they were bank-notes. Would
you mind explaining to him his mistake ?-
"Would it be possible for the excellent Directors
of the London General Omnibus Company and
the London Road Car Company, so to board up
the open backs of their otherwise delightful
garden-seats as to prevent a ride on the top of
an omnibus from oeing a constant series of
(generally unwarranted) suspicions of the
people seated in one's rear ?
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
63
FORTE SCUTUM SALUS PUCUM.
In St. Swithin's forty days
Comes the end of voting-frays ;
Forty extra then arrays
Mr. 0.
Tie had hoped for many more,
But he cannot even score
Forty-four, that fought he for —
Mr. G.
Fortified with fortitude,
Kule your motley multitude,
And so earn our gratitude
Mr. G.!
Oh majority, you know
" Gently does it; " therefore go
Quite piano, Forty—show
Mr. G.
Though his forty is not fat,
It is fair at least; so that
John shall not be taxed for Pat,
Mr. G.
STUDIES IN IDIOCY.
She. "Mrs. Moffat's the oddest "Woman ! She's fond of meeting Clever People,
you know, and she never opens her LlPS, but listens to every word they say,
and puts it all down in a DlARY after ! "
He. "Haw—ry Jove ! Shall take precious good care avhat I say before her! "
Spare him income tax that grieves,
Lest he think that he perceives
An Baba's Forty-
Mr. G. !
Walker!—Mr. Toole is going into the
country, and Mr. Garden is to take his
place. This sounds like a seasonable change,
as Londoners who cannot get away to a
Garden, will now have a Garden coming to
them.
"NO FEES."
(In rc Payne v. 'Enry Ilauthor Jones.)
Alas, poor Jones, how sad your fate!
The Law's stern coldness comes to freeze
Your burning wish to captivate
With words you know will always please—
"No fees!"
When " bang goes saxpcnce " for a page
Of poorest paper, where one sees
More puffs than programme, then your rage
Seems right. One cries. "At least for
these No fees!"
If Dr. Bbamwell,* who they say
Cures psychological disease,
Had known he would have willed away
Your Payjse, like tooth-ache—he would
seize "No fees I"
You've lost the case, and now, '' that's flat,".t
Must pay those eminent Q, C.'s
Your Bill of Costs! No Play-bill that!
You will not rind the Law decrees
"No fees."
* Mentioned in Tiinen Loading Article, Aug. 3.
f "That's flat." Henry (Author Shaks-
peark) IV., Part I., Act I., Scene 13.
A Trio.—Congratulations to Sir William
Custns, who from his known admiration for
Wagner, is generally known as " Cusins
German." He was a "King's Scholar," and
King, whoever he was, must have found him
a remarkably apt pupil. He has composed a
Comic Opera called Giddy ' Un. The next
Knight is Josefh Barnby, a name sugges-
tive of pure rustic music. The last of the
Knights, Sir Walter Parratt, has chosen
as his device the ancient legend always
associated with the head of the Parratt
family, i.e., " Scratch a Poll." This dates
from very ancient times, and was an inscrip-
tion found in a temple of Apollo.
Ominous.—Unfortunate name for a piece is
Cigarette. So suggestive of "parieY^"' and ol
^ " ending in smoke." Absit omen !
AII)S>TO LARCENY.—(By an " Outside
Croakei'.")—! find that since I started off
shopping this morning, I have lost my purse,
my handkerchief, the keys of all my boxes
arid drawer's, a silver-mounted scent-bottle,
my season-ticket, and a pocket-book con-
taining priceless materials for the plot of a
three-volumed novel. This comes of riding
on the outside of an omnibus with garden-
seats.-Conductor, the gentlemanly person
who sat just behind me, and who is now
proceeding rather quickly up Chancery Lane,
seems to have been unable to resist the
temptation afforded by my hanging coat-tails,
and has walked off with a few unpaid bills
which were in the pockets, under a mistaken
impression that they were bank-notes. Would
you mind explaining to him his mistake ?-
"Would it be possible for the excellent Directors
of the London General Omnibus Company and
the London Road Car Company, so to board up
the open backs of their otherwise delightful
garden-seats as to prevent a ride on the top of
an omnibus from oeing a constant series of
(generally unwarranted) suspicions of the
people seated in one's rear ?