DOI Heft:
September 3, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0107
102
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 3, 1892.
UNLUCKY COMPLIMENTS.
Shy but Susceptible Youth. " Er—could you tell me who that Young Lady is—Sketching ?"
Jffable Stranger. "She has the Misfortune to be my Wife!"
Shy but Susceptible One {desperately anxious to please, and losing all presence of mind). " Oh—the Misfortune's entirely Yours,
I'm sure !"
THE EAMSGATE SANDS.
It's hey for the sands, for the jolly llamsgate Sands,
Where the children shout and tumble, spade and bucket in their
hands.
Where sandy castles rise in scores, I trow a man might float
A fleet of six-inch pleasure-skiffs on many a deep-dug moat.
Where, while the banjos discord make, the German bands make
noise,
And nursemaids by the hundred shepherd flocks of girls and boys.
Where the boys tuck up their trousers, and the girls tuck up their
frocks,
A paddling tribe who scorn their shoes and customary socks.
Ye loud-voiced men of cocoa-nuts, what is it that you say ?
"Come try yer luck, roll, bowl, or pitch; the lydies stand'alf-
way."
One youth I saw who took his stand, a clerk of pith was he,
He shut one eye and aimed with care, then let the ball fly free.
Twice, thrice, nay, thirty times he flung, his Betsy standing by,
And scornfully advising him to close his other eye.
Yet, when at last he had to own he could not do the trick,
No solitary cocoa-nut had toppled from its stick.
Papa is in his glory here, that proud and happy man,
But in spite of all his efforts, he can't get coloured tan.
Yet every week-day morning, from ten o'clock till one,
He turns that British face of his unflinching to the sun.
Mamma she sits beside him; I overheard her say,
"Lor, Pa, you'11 soon be brown as brown, you're not so red to-
day."
But wives can't flatter tints away, and when he leaves the place,
I'd guarantee to light my pipe at Pa's tomato face.
A front-row stall I quick secured, a green and gaudy bench,
And paid my humble penny to a very buxom wench.
The tide was running out amain, and slowly, bit by bit,
She moved her back seats forward till she left me in the pit.
Stout Mr. Biggs, the hair-dresser, the Bond-Street mould of form,'
Sat next me with his family, and seemed to find it warm ;
And, while admiring Mrs. B. hung on her Biggs's lips,
He favoured me, as is his wont, with all the sporting tips.
But the most delightful object I saw upon that shore
Was a ruddy-faced and chubby-legged philosopher of four.
Though his sisters capered round him, the sage refused to budge,
He continued quietly digging just as solemn as a judge ;
And if he fell, as men may fall, he spurned their proffered aid,
But lay awhile and pondered, while he clutched his wooden spade ;
Then, having thought some problem out, and found that life was
vain,
He slowly raised his three-foot form, and set to work again.
And so the round of pleasure goes ; a man could scarce believe
How swift the merry hours spin by from dewy morn to eve.
The goat-carts never want for fares fresh from their nurses' arms,
All day the patient donkeys bear some maid's or matron's charms.
The haughty ones may carp and sneer, we know their sorry style,
But we who revel on this shore can hear them with a smile.
We may be vulgar ; what's the odds ? We 're cottage-folk, not
" Grands,"
And our simple pleasures please us on the jolly Eamsgate Sands.
Druriolanus's Next.—The Prodigal Daughter is to be pro-
duced, when she's of proper age to come out, at Drury Lane. _ Who
gave her that name? Is it her " Pettitt nom," or was it her
Godfather, Sir Druriolanus Le Grand, or was it the joint effort
of Grand et Pettitt, so as to satisfy all comers Great and Small ?
The Prodigal Son has already served as the title of an Opera
directly founded on the Scriptural parable of the Prodigal, and has
recently been used as the title of the now famous ballet d'action.
There was also a Pi-re Prodigue—which the English schoolboy
thought was French for an uncommonly big Marie Louise speci-
men; so there is justification and authority for bringing this
new member of The Prodigal family before the Public. Having
once started, there may be no end to the family of Prodigals. There
will follow — The Prodigal Aunt, The Prodigal Lncle, The
Prodigal Second Cousin by First Husband's Marriage, and so on,
ad infinitum.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 3, 1892.
UNLUCKY COMPLIMENTS.
Shy but Susceptible Youth. " Er—could you tell me who that Young Lady is—Sketching ?"
Jffable Stranger. "She has the Misfortune to be my Wife!"
Shy but Susceptible One {desperately anxious to please, and losing all presence of mind). " Oh—the Misfortune's entirely Yours,
I'm sure !"
THE EAMSGATE SANDS.
It's hey for the sands, for the jolly llamsgate Sands,
Where the children shout and tumble, spade and bucket in their
hands.
Where sandy castles rise in scores, I trow a man might float
A fleet of six-inch pleasure-skiffs on many a deep-dug moat.
Where, while the banjos discord make, the German bands make
noise,
And nursemaids by the hundred shepherd flocks of girls and boys.
Where the boys tuck up their trousers, and the girls tuck up their
frocks,
A paddling tribe who scorn their shoes and customary socks.
Ye loud-voiced men of cocoa-nuts, what is it that you say ?
"Come try yer luck, roll, bowl, or pitch; the lydies stand'alf-
way."
One youth I saw who took his stand, a clerk of pith was he,
He shut one eye and aimed with care, then let the ball fly free.
Twice, thrice, nay, thirty times he flung, his Betsy standing by,
And scornfully advising him to close his other eye.
Yet, when at last he had to own he could not do the trick,
No solitary cocoa-nut had toppled from its stick.
Papa is in his glory here, that proud and happy man,
But in spite of all his efforts, he can't get coloured tan.
Yet every week-day morning, from ten o'clock till one,
He turns that British face of his unflinching to the sun.
Mamma she sits beside him; I overheard her say,
"Lor, Pa, you'11 soon be brown as brown, you're not so red to-
day."
But wives can't flatter tints away, and when he leaves the place,
I'd guarantee to light my pipe at Pa's tomato face.
A front-row stall I quick secured, a green and gaudy bench,
And paid my humble penny to a very buxom wench.
The tide was running out amain, and slowly, bit by bit,
She moved her back seats forward till she left me in the pit.
Stout Mr. Biggs, the hair-dresser, the Bond-Street mould of form,'
Sat next me with his family, and seemed to find it warm ;
And, while admiring Mrs. B. hung on her Biggs's lips,
He favoured me, as is his wont, with all the sporting tips.
But the most delightful object I saw upon that shore
Was a ruddy-faced and chubby-legged philosopher of four.
Though his sisters capered round him, the sage refused to budge,
He continued quietly digging just as solemn as a judge ;
And if he fell, as men may fall, he spurned their proffered aid,
But lay awhile and pondered, while he clutched his wooden spade ;
Then, having thought some problem out, and found that life was
vain,
He slowly raised his three-foot form, and set to work again.
And so the round of pleasure goes ; a man could scarce believe
How swift the merry hours spin by from dewy morn to eve.
The goat-carts never want for fares fresh from their nurses' arms,
All day the patient donkeys bear some maid's or matron's charms.
The haughty ones may carp and sneer, we know their sorry style,
But we who revel on this shore can hear them with a smile.
We may be vulgar ; what's the odds ? We 're cottage-folk, not
" Grands,"
And our simple pleasures please us on the jolly Eamsgate Sands.
Druriolanus's Next.—The Prodigal Daughter is to be pro-
duced, when she's of proper age to come out, at Drury Lane. _ Who
gave her that name? Is it her " Pettitt nom," or was it her
Godfather, Sir Druriolanus Le Grand, or was it the joint effort
of Grand et Pettitt, so as to satisfy all comers Great and Small ?
The Prodigal Son has already served as the title of an Opera
directly founded on the Scriptural parable of the Prodigal, and has
recently been used as the title of the now famous ballet d'action.
There was also a Pi-re Prodigue—which the English schoolboy
thought was French for an uncommonly big Marie Louise speci-
men; so there is justification and authority for bringing this
new member of The Prodigal family before the Public. Having
once started, there may be no end to the family of Prodigals. There
will follow — The Prodigal Aunt, The Prodigal Lncle, The
Prodigal Second Cousin by First Husband's Marriage, and so on,
ad infinitum.