DOI issue:
September 10, 1892
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0122
September 10, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 117
PLAYFUL HEIFERVESCENCE AT HAWARDEN.
[Mr. Gladstone met with an extraordinary adventure in Hawarden Park one day last week. A
heifer, which had got loose, made for Mr. Gladstone as he was crossing the park, and knocked him
down. Mr. Gladstone took refuge behind a tree. The heifer scampered off, and was subsequently shot.]
^ 1 ' ^ ' (^ ^^^^^ ^
~ _r No cow-herd am I, but my staying
G. 0. M. mw« .— To play second fiddle won't do.
How happy could I be with beifer, Singing {to myself)—With nay tol de rol
If sure it were only her play. tol-e-rate Labby, &c.
Is't Labby ? or Labour ? Together .. ....
In one? I '11 get out of the way. Don't chivey her! I would allot ber
Singing [to myself) — With my tol de rol de " Three acres," and lots of sweet bay.
rol Labby &c. Alas • while I'm talking, they've shot her !
Well! heifers, like dogs, have their day !
She comes ! On her horns she is playing Singing {to myself as before)—With my tol
A tune with a flourish or two! lol de rol-licking Labby, &c.
Latest.—After dinner, Mr. Gladstone fell asleep in bis chair ! He was seen to smile,
although his repose seemed somewhat disturbed. Presently he was beard to murmur
melodiously the words of the old song, slightly adapted to the most recent event,—" Heifer
of thee I'm fondly dreaming ! " Then a shudder ran through his frame as he pronounced
softly a Latin sentence; it was " Labor omnia vincit.'" Then he awoke.
SONGS OUT OP SEASON.
No. IL—KEW-RIOUS!
It's a pleasure worth the danger,
Deems your gorgeous De La Pluche,
To become the main arranger
Of a drive in your barouche ;
And your Coachman, honest Joe too,
When approached thereon by Jeames,
Doesn't say exactly "no," to
Such inviting little schemes.
Jeames has doffed them " 'orrid knee-
things ;"
Plush gives way to tweed and socks;
And a hamper with the tea-things,
Fills his place upon the box ;
With Maria, Jane, and Hemma,
He is playing archest games,
And they 're in the sweet dilemma,
Who shall make the most of James.
Mr. Coachman smokes his pipe on
His accustomed throne of pride,
And, through driving, keeps an eye 'pon
All the revellers inside.
Mrs. Coachman there is seated;
Children twain are on her lapped,
Who alternately are treated,
And alternately are slapped.
While the painters haunt your mansion,
And you're "_Efiip" "The J2alps" or
"Rhind,"
Your domestics find expansion
In diversions of the kind;
And on such a day as this is,
They will drink the health at Kew,
Of " The Master and the Missis,
And their bloomin' kerridge too! "
The Pallium and Archiepiscopal Oath
Controversy in the "Times."—No wonder
this is a very dry subject, when they've got
such a strong Thurst-on among them. Oar
advice, by way of moistening it, is, '' Drop it!"
"Clergy Fees" [see "Times" Corre-
spondence).— Growl of the Archiepiscopal
Ogre & Co. .—
"Jee, fi, fo, film!
I smell the coin of a Clergyman!
Hath he fat glebe, be be ill-fee'd, ill-fed,
I '11 grab his fees to butter ray bread ! "
A NIGHTLY CHEYALIEE.
Mtjsic-Hall Artists are not by any means " Fixed Stars." During
the evening they manage to accomplish the somewhat paradoxical-
sounding feat of shining in the same parts, yet in different places and
at different times, appearing everywhere with undiminished bril-
liancy. The Student of the Music-Hall Planetary system, has only
by observation to ascertain the exact time and place of the appearance
of bis favourite bright particular Star, and then to pay his money,
take his choice between sitting and standing, and like a true astro-
nomer, be will—glass in band, a strong glass too,—await the great
event of the evening, calmly and contentedly.
If the Wirtuous Westender wandering down the Strand, after having
on some previous nights exhausted the Pavilion and the elaborately
gorgeous Variety Shows given at the Empire and Alhambra, seeks
for awhile a resting-place wherein to enjoy his postprandial cigar,
and be amused, if such an one will drop into the classic Tivoli, he
will find excellent entertainment, that is as long as their present
programme holds the field. The Holborn and the Oxford may
delight him on other nights, for it seems that much the same Stars
shine all around; but for the present, taking Tivoli as synonymous
with Tibur, be may, witbv Horation humour, say to himself (" him-
self" being not a bad audience as a rule):—
" Holborn Tibur amem ventosus, Tivoli Holborn,"
and be can then enter the Tivoli, now under the benign rule of
that old Music Hall Hand, Carolus Mortonius, M.A., Magister
Agens, while the experienced Mr. Yernon Dowsett—" Experientia
Dowsett"—manages the stage. Good as is the entire show, and
especially good as is the performance of Mr. Charles Godfrey as
an old Chelsea Pensioner recounting to several little Peterkins a
touching and heart-stirring tale of the Crimean War, yet for me, the
Costermonger Songs of Mr. Albert Chevalier are the great attrac-
tion. His now well-known " Coster's Serenade," and his " Knocked
''em in the Old Kent Road" are supplemented by a song and
dialogue about a Coster's son, a precocious little chap, about three
years old, and " only that 'igh, you know," in whom his father takes
so great a pride that it works his own temporary reformation. It is
so natural as to be just on the borderland between farce and pathos,
and recalls time past, when Robson played The Porter's Knot,
and such-like pieces. Now what more do Music Halls want than
what Mr. Chevalier gives themp This is the very essence of a
dramatic sketch of character, given in just the time it takes to sing
the song,—that is, about ten minutes, if as much. The compact
orchestra, under the directorship of Mr. Asher, discourses excellent
accompaniments, and the music of the Chevalier's songs—com-
posed, I believe, by himself—is not the least among the attractions.
The Chevalier, who, as he takes more than one turn every evening,
may be termed a Knight Errant, is certainly the Coster's_ Laureate
and accepted Representative in the West; the mine, which is bis
own, is inexhaustible. He is a magician in his own peculiar line,
and may write himself Albertus Magnus.
" Al Fresco," the Lightning Artist, whose full name is " Alfred
Fresco," writes to suggest that the Alhambra under Mr. John
Holltngshead's management should start a Rotten Row Galop and
Kensington Gardens Quadrille to follow as in a series the highly
successful Serpentine Dance.
Novel Quartette.—At the next Hereford Festival there will be
performed a concerted piece by four Short Horns.
PLAYFUL HEIFERVESCENCE AT HAWARDEN.
[Mr. Gladstone met with an extraordinary adventure in Hawarden Park one day last week. A
heifer, which had got loose, made for Mr. Gladstone as he was crossing the park, and knocked him
down. Mr. Gladstone took refuge behind a tree. The heifer scampered off, and was subsequently shot.]
^ 1 ' ^ ' (^ ^^^^^ ^
~ _r No cow-herd am I, but my staying
G. 0. M. mw« .— To play second fiddle won't do.
How happy could I be with beifer, Singing {to myself)—With nay tol de rol
If sure it were only her play. tol-e-rate Labby, &c.
Is't Labby ? or Labour ? Together .. ....
In one? I '11 get out of the way. Don't chivey her! I would allot ber
Singing [to myself) — With my tol de rol de " Three acres," and lots of sweet bay.
rol Labby &c. Alas • while I'm talking, they've shot her !
Well! heifers, like dogs, have their day !
She comes ! On her horns she is playing Singing {to myself as before)—With my tol
A tune with a flourish or two! lol de rol-licking Labby, &c.
Latest.—After dinner, Mr. Gladstone fell asleep in bis chair ! He was seen to smile,
although his repose seemed somewhat disturbed. Presently he was beard to murmur
melodiously the words of the old song, slightly adapted to the most recent event,—" Heifer
of thee I'm fondly dreaming ! " Then a shudder ran through his frame as he pronounced
softly a Latin sentence; it was " Labor omnia vincit.'" Then he awoke.
SONGS OUT OP SEASON.
No. IL—KEW-RIOUS!
It's a pleasure worth the danger,
Deems your gorgeous De La Pluche,
To become the main arranger
Of a drive in your barouche ;
And your Coachman, honest Joe too,
When approached thereon by Jeames,
Doesn't say exactly "no," to
Such inviting little schemes.
Jeames has doffed them " 'orrid knee-
things ;"
Plush gives way to tweed and socks;
And a hamper with the tea-things,
Fills his place upon the box ;
With Maria, Jane, and Hemma,
He is playing archest games,
And they 're in the sweet dilemma,
Who shall make the most of James.
Mr. Coachman smokes his pipe on
His accustomed throne of pride,
And, through driving, keeps an eye 'pon
All the revellers inside.
Mrs. Coachman there is seated;
Children twain are on her lapped,
Who alternately are treated,
And alternately are slapped.
While the painters haunt your mansion,
And you're "_Efiip" "The J2alps" or
"Rhind,"
Your domestics find expansion
In diversions of the kind;
And on such a day as this is,
They will drink the health at Kew,
Of " The Master and the Missis,
And their bloomin' kerridge too! "
The Pallium and Archiepiscopal Oath
Controversy in the "Times."—No wonder
this is a very dry subject, when they've got
such a strong Thurst-on among them. Oar
advice, by way of moistening it, is, '' Drop it!"
"Clergy Fees" [see "Times" Corre-
spondence).— Growl of the Archiepiscopal
Ogre & Co. .—
"Jee, fi, fo, film!
I smell the coin of a Clergyman!
Hath he fat glebe, be be ill-fee'd, ill-fed,
I '11 grab his fees to butter ray bread ! "
A NIGHTLY CHEYALIEE.
Mtjsic-Hall Artists are not by any means " Fixed Stars." During
the evening they manage to accomplish the somewhat paradoxical-
sounding feat of shining in the same parts, yet in different places and
at different times, appearing everywhere with undiminished bril-
liancy. The Student of the Music-Hall Planetary system, has only
by observation to ascertain the exact time and place of the appearance
of bis favourite bright particular Star, and then to pay his money,
take his choice between sitting and standing, and like a true astro-
nomer, be will—glass in band, a strong glass too,—await the great
event of the evening, calmly and contentedly.
If the Wirtuous Westender wandering down the Strand, after having
on some previous nights exhausted the Pavilion and the elaborately
gorgeous Variety Shows given at the Empire and Alhambra, seeks
for awhile a resting-place wherein to enjoy his postprandial cigar,
and be amused, if such an one will drop into the classic Tivoli, he
will find excellent entertainment, that is as long as their present
programme holds the field. The Holborn and the Oxford may
delight him on other nights, for it seems that much the same Stars
shine all around; but for the present, taking Tivoli as synonymous
with Tibur, be may, witbv Horation humour, say to himself (" him-
self" being not a bad audience as a rule):—
" Holborn Tibur amem ventosus, Tivoli Holborn,"
and be can then enter the Tivoli, now under the benign rule of
that old Music Hall Hand, Carolus Mortonius, M.A., Magister
Agens, while the experienced Mr. Yernon Dowsett—" Experientia
Dowsett"—manages the stage. Good as is the entire show, and
especially good as is the performance of Mr. Charles Godfrey as
an old Chelsea Pensioner recounting to several little Peterkins a
touching and heart-stirring tale of the Crimean War, yet for me, the
Costermonger Songs of Mr. Albert Chevalier are the great attrac-
tion. His now well-known " Coster's Serenade," and his " Knocked
''em in the Old Kent Road" are supplemented by a song and
dialogue about a Coster's son, a precocious little chap, about three
years old, and " only that 'igh, you know," in whom his father takes
so great a pride that it works his own temporary reformation. It is
so natural as to be just on the borderland between farce and pathos,
and recalls time past, when Robson played The Porter's Knot,
and such-like pieces. Now what more do Music Halls want than
what Mr. Chevalier gives themp This is the very essence of a
dramatic sketch of character, given in just the time it takes to sing
the song,—that is, about ten minutes, if as much. The compact
orchestra, under the directorship of Mr. Asher, discourses excellent
accompaniments, and the music of the Chevalier's songs—com-
posed, I believe, by himself—is not the least among the attractions.
The Chevalier, who, as he takes more than one turn every evening,
may be termed a Knight Errant, is certainly the Coster's_ Laureate
and accepted Representative in the West; the mine, which is bis
own, is inexhaustible. He is a magician in his own peculiar line,
and may write himself Albertus Magnus.
" Al Fresco," the Lightning Artist, whose full name is " Alfred
Fresco," writes to suggest that the Alhambra under Mr. John
Holltngshead's management should start a Rotten Row Galop and
Kensington Gardens Quadrille to follow as in a series the highly
successful Serpentine Dance.
Novel Quartette.—At the next Hereford Festival there will be
performed a concerted piece by four Short Horns.