DOI issue:
September 17, 1892
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0128
September 17, 1892 ]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
123
TWO SIDES TO A QUESTION.
Major Podmore. "Congratulate yoit, dear Boy !"
Disappointed Cricketer. "What do you mean? Bowled First Ball—never got a Run !"
Major Podmore. "Quite so, dear Boy. But in this Hot Weather—80° in the Shade—so much better, if you can, to
take Things coolly ! "
A ROUNDABOUT RAMBLE.
{A Fact Founded on Fiction.)
The sharp, bright little Traveller made his way to the Cabinet of
M. Carnot, and disturbed him at work.
"Do you know, M. Le President," said he, "that the Russians
are in secret treaty with the English, and the Russo-French Alliance
is all nonsense—the most unreliable of broken reeds P "
" Well, no," replied Carnot, " I have not heard anything of the
sort; and, if anyone should be up in it-"
But the Traveller did not want to hear the rest, for he was once
again on his road, telling everyone he met the disquieting intelli-
gence, and, consequently, the French people were greatly troubled.
He was soon in Berlin. He did not ask for an interview with the
Kaiser, but took one.
"Your Royal and Imperial Majesty," said he, "are you aware
that Italy is in secret accord with France, and that the Triple Alli-
ance is a sham, and that the cry A Berlin ! may be renewed at any
moment ? "
"Well, no," said the Emperor, "I have not heard this; and if
anyone should know anything about it, I fancy-"
But the Traveller did not wait for the Kaiser to finish the sen-
tence, but was off again, telling everyone he met the disquieting
intelligence. And, consequently, the German people were greatly
troubled.
Then the Traveller obtained admission, in the same unceremonious
fashion, to the apartment occupied by the Emperor of Austria.
"King of Hungary," said he, "are you aware that you cannot
possibly rely upon your German neighbour, because the Kaiser has
a secret understanding with the Czar, by which the Principalities
will be included in Russian territory, and the Rhine secured from
French invasion ? "
"No, I have not heard it," was the answer; "and, if it had
been the case, I imagine that-"
But again the Traveller left without waiting for the completion of
the sentence, and went his way telling everyone he met the dis-
quieting intelligence. And consequently, the Austro-Hungarian
peoples were greatly troubled.
And now the Traveller was in the presence of the Emperor of All
the Russias. Again he had obtained admission without the pre-
liminary of an official introduction.
"Little Father," said the Traveller, "are you aware that your
youthful relative in Berlin is coquetting with France and England,
and you may find the whole of Europe marshaUed against you ? "
"Well, no I have not heard it," returned the Czar ; " and I really
think-"
But the Traveller never learned what the Czar really thought, for
he was away before His Imperial Majesty had completed the sen-
tence. And as he went away, after his usual fashion, he spread the
disquieting intelligence, and consequently the Russian people were
greatly troubled.
And now the Traveller was in Cairo. He presented himself before
the Khedive without waiting for the English adviser.
" Your Highness, do you know that the British Army of occupa-
tion is on the eve of departure ? " said he.
"What, in spite of Lord Rosebery going to the Foreign Office I"
exclaimed the Sultan's vassal, in a tone of considerable astonishment.
"Of course," replied the visitor. "Everything was settled long
ago, and before Christmas there won't be a red-coat in Egypt! "
"Indeed," returned His Highness, "I certainly have not heard it,
and I fancy-"
But the Traveller departed without ascertaining the drift of the
Khedive's fancies, and on his road, strictly according to precedent,
spread the disquieting intelligence, and consequently the Egyptian
people were greatly troubled.
And now the Traveller was once more back in London. He entered
Capel Court and rested himself. He said nothing. It was unnecessary,
for he was well known, and his stories had already been discounted.
"Ah, my little friend Rumour," said Mr. Bullbear; "you have
come back again! And now you can rest for awhile, until we want
you after the next account."
So Rumour is waiting in the Stock Exchange until he is wanted
after the next account!
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
123
TWO SIDES TO A QUESTION.
Major Podmore. "Congratulate yoit, dear Boy !"
Disappointed Cricketer. "What do you mean? Bowled First Ball—never got a Run !"
Major Podmore. "Quite so, dear Boy. But in this Hot Weather—80° in the Shade—so much better, if you can, to
take Things coolly ! "
A ROUNDABOUT RAMBLE.
{A Fact Founded on Fiction.)
The sharp, bright little Traveller made his way to the Cabinet of
M. Carnot, and disturbed him at work.
"Do you know, M. Le President," said he, "that the Russians
are in secret treaty with the English, and the Russo-French Alliance
is all nonsense—the most unreliable of broken reeds P "
" Well, no," replied Carnot, " I have not heard anything of the
sort; and, if anyone should be up in it-"
But the Traveller did not want to hear the rest, for he was once
again on his road, telling everyone he met the disquieting intelli-
gence, and, consequently, the French people were greatly troubled.
He was soon in Berlin. He did not ask for an interview with the
Kaiser, but took one.
"Your Royal and Imperial Majesty," said he, "are you aware
that Italy is in secret accord with France, and that the Triple Alli-
ance is a sham, and that the cry A Berlin ! may be renewed at any
moment ? "
"Well, no," said the Emperor, "I have not heard this; and if
anyone should know anything about it, I fancy-"
But the Traveller did not wait for the Kaiser to finish the sen-
tence, but was off again, telling everyone he met the disquieting
intelligence. And, consequently, the German people were greatly
troubled.
Then the Traveller obtained admission, in the same unceremonious
fashion, to the apartment occupied by the Emperor of Austria.
"King of Hungary," said he, "are you aware that you cannot
possibly rely upon your German neighbour, because the Kaiser has
a secret understanding with the Czar, by which the Principalities
will be included in Russian territory, and the Rhine secured from
French invasion ? "
"No, I have not heard it," was the answer; "and, if it had
been the case, I imagine that-"
But again the Traveller left without waiting for the completion of
the sentence, and went his way telling everyone he met the dis-
quieting intelligence. And consequently, the Austro-Hungarian
peoples were greatly troubled.
And now the Traveller was in the presence of the Emperor of All
the Russias. Again he had obtained admission without the pre-
liminary of an official introduction.
"Little Father," said the Traveller, "are you aware that your
youthful relative in Berlin is coquetting with France and England,
and you may find the whole of Europe marshaUed against you ? "
"Well, no I have not heard it," returned the Czar ; " and I really
think-"
But the Traveller never learned what the Czar really thought, for
he was away before His Imperial Majesty had completed the sen-
tence. And as he went away, after his usual fashion, he spread the
disquieting intelligence, and consequently the Russian people were
greatly troubled.
And now the Traveller was in Cairo. He presented himself before
the Khedive without waiting for the English adviser.
" Your Highness, do you know that the British Army of occupa-
tion is on the eve of departure ? " said he.
"What, in spite of Lord Rosebery going to the Foreign Office I"
exclaimed the Sultan's vassal, in a tone of considerable astonishment.
"Of course," replied the visitor. "Everything was settled long
ago, and before Christmas there won't be a red-coat in Egypt! "
"Indeed," returned His Highness, "I certainly have not heard it,
and I fancy-"
But the Traveller departed without ascertaining the drift of the
Khedive's fancies, and on his road, strictly according to precedent,
spread the disquieting intelligence, and consequently the Egyptian
people were greatly troubled.
And now the Traveller was once more back in London. He entered
Capel Court and rested himself. He said nothing. It was unnecessary,
for he was well known, and his stories had already been discounted.
"Ah, my little friend Rumour," said Mr. Bullbear; "you have
come back again! And now you can rest for awhile, until we want
you after the next account."
So Rumour is waiting in the Stock Exchange until he is wanted
after the next account!