DOI Heft:
September 24, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0142
September 24, 1892.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
137
LETTERS TO ABSTRACTIONS.
No. XV.—TO SWAGGER.
Not long ago I reminded you of Chepstowe, the incomparable poet
who was at one time supposed to have revolutionised the art of verse.
Now he is forgotten, the rushlight which he never attempted to hide
under the semblance of a bushel, has long since nickered its last, his
boasts, his swelling literary port, his quarrels, his affectations—over
Essays, and a reputation for smartness, acquired at the expense of
bis dwindling circle of intimates, to do it. He took his degree, and
plunged into London. There, for a time, he was lost to public
sight. But I know that he went through the usual contest.
Kejected manuscripts poured back into his room. Polite, but un-
accommodating Editors, found that they had no use for vapid imita-
tions of Addison, or feeble parodies of Charles Lamb. Literary
appreciations, that were to have sent the ball of fame spinning up
would say, "Praise me this author," and straightway the fire of
eulogy would begin. To another he would declare—and this was his
more frequent course—" So-and-so has dared to hint a fault in one
of us; he has hesitated an offensive dislike. Let him be scarified,"
and forthwith the painted and feathered young braves drew forth
their axes and scalping-knives, and the work of slaughter went
all of them the dark waves of oblivion have passed and blotted them the hill of criticism, grew frowsy and dog's-eared with many
from the sand on which he had traced them. But in his day, as you ] postages to and fro.
remember, while yet he held his head high and strutted in his ; In this protracted struggle with fate and his own incompetence,
panoply, he was a man of no small consequence. Ouite an army of ; the nature of Grublet, never a very amiable one, became fatally
satellites moved with him, and did his bidding. To one of ^ them he | soured, and when he finally managed to secure a humble post on a
newspaper, he was a disappointed man with rage in his heart against
his successful rivals and against the Editors who, as he thought, had
maliciously chilled his flowing aspirations. His vanity, however,—
and he was always a very vain man—had suffered no diminution, and
with the first balmy breezes of success his arrogance grew unbounded.
Shortly afterwards, he chanced to come in the way of Chepstowe ;
merrily forward. Youth^ modesty, honest effort, he impressed the poet favourably, and in the
genuine merit, a manifest desire to range; apart f>IS8iP result he was selected for a place on the staff of
from the loud storms of literary controversy, §g|j|ip The Metropolitan Messenger, then striving by
these were no protection to the select ed victim. Bm^p every known method to battle its way into a
And of course the operations of the Chepstowe- <H^gpj^£> circulation.
ites, like the "plucking" imagined by Major It was at this stage^ in his career that I met
Pendemiis, were done in public. For they had Ivf^W^y Grublet. He was pointed out to me as a young
their organ. Week by week in The Metropo- aimSSu man of promise who had a trenchant style, and
litan Messenger they disburdened themselves, J^^^^Ms had lately written an article on " Provincialism
each one of his little load of spite and insolence /^^^^P^W^S \n Literature," which had caused some stir by
and vanity, and with much loud shouting and > < bitter and uncompromising attacks upon
blare of adulatory trumpets called the attention /rara^W^^t^f^llV'f ^ certain well-known authors and journalists. I
of the public to their heap of purchasable rub- 'v^twrJmwA ' - ' booked at the man with some interest. I saw a
bish. There lived at this time a great writer, h^k^ pale-faced, sandy-haired little creature with a
whose name and fame are still revered by all i^^^^^J^ffivwBMIB^ shuffling, weak-kneed gait, who looked as if a
Avho love strong, nervous English, vivid des- f^i^T/K^^SmW^^S touch from a moderately vigorous arm would
cription, and consummate literary art. He stood / 't3v7l mW^^\ bave swept him altogether out of existence,
too high for attack. Only in one way could the <\/4itinJl^^ Sis manner was affected and unpleasant, his
herd of passionate prigs who waited on Chep- ^^^^mmr':"'/ mWMi^S/ conversation the most disagreeable I ever listened
stowe do him an injury. They could attempt, Wrw^'^^^M mWTm^ to. He was coarse, not with an ordinary coarse-
and did, to imitate his style in their own weekly BflWJf--fl| WfiW \ ness' ^ ^h a kind of stale, fly-blown coarse-
scribblings. Corruptio optimi pessima. There HStIi rXul Wnam k ness as °^ ^he viands in the window of a cheap
is no other phrase that describes so well the liB^OTtf-+cjl 'ff$m\ restaurant. He assumed a great reverence for
result of these imitative efforts. All the little nKmiil f^Tm . Si ft \ Rabelais and Aristophanes; he told shady
tricks of the great man's humour were repro- tBHuxlIF-^ 1$'<lJn stories, void of point and humour, which you
duced and defaced, the clear stream of his sen- MM] 'm^^-'X'x Imlm 1 were *° suPPose were modelled on the style of
fences was diverted into muddy channels, the nH ISkmI i wSli i these two masters.^ And all the time he gave you
airy creatures of his imagination were weighted j|||jfi to understand, with a blatant self-sufficiency,
with lead and made to perform hideous antics. \ -WfflT~\ ' MTJSh that he himself was one of the greatest and most
Never had there been so riotous a jargon of MI lTjw+|--| , WuM j formidable beings in existence. This was
distorted affectation and ponderous balderdash. rll Ifimjl-X xrTM I Grublet as I first knew him, and so he con-
Smartness—of a sort—these gentlemen, no doubt, jf J Z\" Mjm'i \ tinued to the end.
possessed. It is easy to be accounted smart in a -JjJ | JQjlJ^M Ifi+l+f/i, I rlbe one thing this puny creature could never
certain circle, if only you succeed in being inso- | jtimlfc. forgive was that any of his friends should pass
lent. Merit of this order the band could boast a& I ~:-$f-L I 'n\'Jl ' bim in the race. There was one whom Grublet
of plenteously. (J^trT--~^i~~ TP W J —the older of the two—had at one time honoured
One peculiarity, too, must be noted in The Rrtt^r/ ' \[\ \Lf with his patronage and approval. No sooner,
Metropolitan Messenger. It had a magnetic M^L^j^l Jur*f however, had the younger gained a literary
attraction for all the sour and sorry failures ira^lHw success, than the sour Grublet turned upon
whose reputation and income, however greatly him, and rent him. " This fellow," said Ghub-
in excess of their deserts, had not equalled their JO|pr 1^^^, let, " will get too uppish—I must show up his
expectation. The Cave of Adullam could not trash " ; and accordingly he fulminated against
have been more abundantly stocked with dis- his friend in the organ that he had by that time
content. It is the custom of the rates everywhere to attempt to
prevent, or, if that be impossible, to decry success in others, in order
to exalt themselves. The "Metropolitans" followed the example of
many unillustrious predecessors, though it must, in justice, be
added, that they would have been shocked to hear anyone impute to
them a want of originality in their curious methods. In the counsels
of these literary bravos, William Grublet held a high place. At
come to consider as his own. This baseless sense of proprietorship,
in fact, it was that wrecked Grublet. In an evil moment for
himself he tried to ride rough-shod over Chepstowe, and that tem-
porary genius dismissed him with a promptitude that should stand
to his credit against many shortcomings. Grublet, I believe,
still exists. Occasionally, in obscure prints, I seem to detect traces
of his style. But no one now pays any attention to him. His
the University, where he had pursued a dull and dingy career of > claws are clipped, his teeth have been filed down. He shouts and
modified respectability, not much was thought or spoken of Grub- I struts, unregarded. Eor we live, of course, in milder and more
let. If he was asked what profession he proposed to adopt, he \ reasonable days, and the Grublets can no longer find a popular
would wink knowingly, and reply, " Journalism." It sounded well J market for their wares.
—it gave an impression of influence, and future power, and, more- ! Only one question remains._ How in the world can even you, oh
over, it committed him to nothing. It is just as easy to say " Jour- j respected Swagger, have derived any pleasure from witnessing the
nalism," in answer to the stock question, as it is to deliver yourself ' performances that Grublet went through, after you had persuaded
over, by anticipation, to the Bar, the Church, or the Stock Exchange, him that he was a man of some importance ?
Hundreds of young men at both our ancient Universities look upon I do not expect an answer, and remain as before,
J ournalism as the easiest and most attractive of all the professions. Diogenes Robinson".
In the first place there are no Examinations to bar the way, and
your ordinary Undergraduate loathes an Examination as a rat may j In Banco.—The stability of the concern having been effectually
be supposed to loathe a terrier. What can be easier—in imagination proved by the way in which the Birkbeckers got out of the fire and
—than to dash off a leading article, a biting society sketch, a scath- ; out of the trying pan-ic, and the ease with which they were quite at
ing review, to overturn ancient idols, to inaugurate movements, to j home to the crowds of callers coming to inquire after their health,
plan out policies ? All this Grublet was confident of being able to | should earn for them the subsidiary title of the Birk-beck-and-call
do, and he determined, on the strength of a few successful College I Bank.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
137
LETTERS TO ABSTRACTIONS.
No. XV.—TO SWAGGER.
Not long ago I reminded you of Chepstowe, the incomparable poet
who was at one time supposed to have revolutionised the art of verse.
Now he is forgotten, the rushlight which he never attempted to hide
under the semblance of a bushel, has long since nickered its last, his
boasts, his swelling literary port, his quarrels, his affectations—over
Essays, and a reputation for smartness, acquired at the expense of
bis dwindling circle of intimates, to do it. He took his degree, and
plunged into London. There, for a time, he was lost to public
sight. But I know that he went through the usual contest.
Kejected manuscripts poured back into his room. Polite, but un-
accommodating Editors, found that they had no use for vapid imita-
tions of Addison, or feeble parodies of Charles Lamb. Literary
appreciations, that were to have sent the ball of fame spinning up
would say, "Praise me this author," and straightway the fire of
eulogy would begin. To another he would declare—and this was his
more frequent course—" So-and-so has dared to hint a fault in one
of us; he has hesitated an offensive dislike. Let him be scarified,"
and forthwith the painted and feathered young braves drew forth
their axes and scalping-knives, and the work of slaughter went
all of them the dark waves of oblivion have passed and blotted them the hill of criticism, grew frowsy and dog's-eared with many
from the sand on which he had traced them. But in his day, as you ] postages to and fro.
remember, while yet he held his head high and strutted in his ; In this protracted struggle with fate and his own incompetence,
panoply, he was a man of no small consequence. Ouite an army of ; the nature of Grublet, never a very amiable one, became fatally
satellites moved with him, and did his bidding. To one of ^ them he | soured, and when he finally managed to secure a humble post on a
newspaper, he was a disappointed man with rage in his heart against
his successful rivals and against the Editors who, as he thought, had
maliciously chilled his flowing aspirations. His vanity, however,—
and he was always a very vain man—had suffered no diminution, and
with the first balmy breezes of success his arrogance grew unbounded.
Shortly afterwards, he chanced to come in the way of Chepstowe ;
merrily forward. Youth^ modesty, honest effort, he impressed the poet favourably, and in the
genuine merit, a manifest desire to range; apart f>IS8iP result he was selected for a place on the staff of
from the loud storms of literary controversy, §g|j|ip The Metropolitan Messenger, then striving by
these were no protection to the select ed victim. Bm^p every known method to battle its way into a
And of course the operations of the Chepstowe- <H^gpj^£> circulation.
ites, like the "plucking" imagined by Major It was at this stage^ in his career that I met
Pendemiis, were done in public. For they had Ivf^W^y Grublet. He was pointed out to me as a young
their organ. Week by week in The Metropo- aimSSu man of promise who had a trenchant style, and
litan Messenger they disburdened themselves, J^^^^Ms had lately written an article on " Provincialism
each one of his little load of spite and insolence /^^^^P^W^S \n Literature," which had caused some stir by
and vanity, and with much loud shouting and > < bitter and uncompromising attacks upon
blare of adulatory trumpets called the attention /rara^W^^t^f^llV'f ^ certain well-known authors and journalists. I
of the public to their heap of purchasable rub- 'v^twrJmwA ' - ' booked at the man with some interest. I saw a
bish. There lived at this time a great writer, h^k^ pale-faced, sandy-haired little creature with a
whose name and fame are still revered by all i^^^^^J^ffivwBMIB^ shuffling, weak-kneed gait, who looked as if a
Avho love strong, nervous English, vivid des- f^i^T/K^^SmW^^S touch from a moderately vigorous arm would
cription, and consummate literary art. He stood / 't3v7l mW^^\ bave swept him altogether out of existence,
too high for attack. Only in one way could the <\/4itinJl^^ Sis manner was affected and unpleasant, his
herd of passionate prigs who waited on Chep- ^^^^mmr':"'/ mWMi^S/ conversation the most disagreeable I ever listened
stowe do him an injury. They could attempt, Wrw^'^^^M mWTm^ to. He was coarse, not with an ordinary coarse-
and did, to imitate his style in their own weekly BflWJf--fl| WfiW \ ness' ^ ^h a kind of stale, fly-blown coarse-
scribblings. Corruptio optimi pessima. There HStIi rXul Wnam k ness as °^ ^he viands in the window of a cheap
is no other phrase that describes so well the liB^OTtf-+cjl 'ff$m\ restaurant. He assumed a great reverence for
result of these imitative efforts. All the little nKmiil f^Tm . Si ft \ Rabelais and Aristophanes; he told shady
tricks of the great man's humour were repro- tBHuxlIF-^ 1$'<lJn stories, void of point and humour, which you
duced and defaced, the clear stream of his sen- MM] 'm^^-'X'x Imlm 1 were *° suPPose were modelled on the style of
fences was diverted into muddy channels, the nH ISkmI i wSli i these two masters.^ And all the time he gave you
airy creatures of his imagination were weighted j|||jfi to understand, with a blatant self-sufficiency,
with lead and made to perform hideous antics. \ -WfflT~\ ' MTJSh that he himself was one of the greatest and most
Never had there been so riotous a jargon of MI lTjw+|--| , WuM j formidable beings in existence. This was
distorted affectation and ponderous balderdash. rll Ifimjl-X xrTM I Grublet as I first knew him, and so he con-
Smartness—of a sort—these gentlemen, no doubt, jf J Z\" Mjm'i \ tinued to the end.
possessed. It is easy to be accounted smart in a -JjJ | JQjlJ^M Ifi+l+f/i, I rlbe one thing this puny creature could never
certain circle, if only you succeed in being inso- | jtimlfc. forgive was that any of his friends should pass
lent. Merit of this order the band could boast a& I ~:-$f-L I 'n\'Jl ' bim in the race. There was one whom Grublet
of plenteously. (J^trT--~^i~~ TP W J —the older of the two—had at one time honoured
One peculiarity, too, must be noted in The Rrtt^r/ ' \[\ \Lf with his patronage and approval. No sooner,
Metropolitan Messenger. It had a magnetic M^L^j^l Jur*f however, had the younger gained a literary
attraction for all the sour and sorry failures ira^lHw success, than the sour Grublet turned upon
whose reputation and income, however greatly him, and rent him. " This fellow," said Ghub-
in excess of their deserts, had not equalled their JO|pr 1^^^, let, " will get too uppish—I must show up his
expectation. The Cave of Adullam could not trash " ; and accordingly he fulminated against
have been more abundantly stocked with dis- his friend in the organ that he had by that time
content. It is the custom of the rates everywhere to attempt to
prevent, or, if that be impossible, to decry success in others, in order
to exalt themselves. The "Metropolitans" followed the example of
many unillustrious predecessors, though it must, in justice, be
added, that they would have been shocked to hear anyone impute to
them a want of originality in their curious methods. In the counsels
of these literary bravos, William Grublet held a high place. At
come to consider as his own. This baseless sense of proprietorship,
in fact, it was that wrecked Grublet. In an evil moment for
himself he tried to ride rough-shod over Chepstowe, and that tem-
porary genius dismissed him with a promptitude that should stand
to his credit against many shortcomings. Grublet, I believe,
still exists. Occasionally, in obscure prints, I seem to detect traces
of his style. But no one now pays any attention to him. His
the University, where he had pursued a dull and dingy career of > claws are clipped, his teeth have been filed down. He shouts and
modified respectability, not much was thought or spoken of Grub- I struts, unregarded. Eor we live, of course, in milder and more
let. If he was asked what profession he proposed to adopt, he \ reasonable days, and the Grublets can no longer find a popular
would wink knowingly, and reply, " Journalism." It sounded well J market for their wares.
—it gave an impression of influence, and future power, and, more- ! Only one question remains._ How in the world can even you, oh
over, it committed him to nothing. It is just as easy to say " Jour- j respected Swagger, have derived any pleasure from witnessing the
nalism," in answer to the stock question, as it is to deliver yourself ' performances that Grublet went through, after you had persuaded
over, by anticipation, to the Bar, the Church, or the Stock Exchange, him that he was a man of some importance ?
Hundreds of young men at both our ancient Universities look upon I do not expect an answer, and remain as before,
J ournalism as the easiest and most attractive of all the professions. Diogenes Robinson".
In the first place there are no Examinations to bar the way, and
your ordinary Undergraduate loathes an Examination as a rat may j In Banco.—The stability of the concern having been effectually
be supposed to loathe a terrier. What can be easier—in imagination proved by the way in which the Birkbeckers got out of the fire and
—than to dash off a leading article, a biting society sketch, a scath- ; out of the trying pan-ic, and the ease with which they were quite at
ing review, to overturn ancient idols, to inaugurate movements, to j home to the crowds of callers coming to inquire after their health,
plan out policies ? All this Grublet was confident of being able to | should earn for them the subsidiary title of the Birk-beck-and-call
do, and he determined, on the strength of a few successful College I Bank.