DOI issue:
September 24, 1892
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0149
144 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 24, 1892.
THE FINDING OF PHARAOH.
Interesting Discovery in the Dead Season.
VERY ENTERTAINING.
Beak Mr. Punch,—So much is done by the organisers of the
Primrose League in the shape of amusements for the people, that it
seems strange "the other side" should not follow suit. "Without
having decided political opinions, I like both the Government and
Her Majesty's Opposition to be on equal terms. Hence my sugges-
tion. I see that, a few days ago, Mr. Gladstone, in speaking to an
audience at Barmouth, made the following remarks. He said—He
belonged to almost every part of the country. A Scotchman by
blood, born in Lancashire, and resident in London, he had become
closely attached to Wales by marriage, and had now become too old
to get rid of that inclination. Surely these admissions conjure up
the possibility of a really excellent entertainment. To show you
what I mean, I jot down, in dramatic form, my notion of the manner
in which the Premier's excellent idea should be worked out:—
Scene—A oarge hall, with a platform. On the platform, Committee
and Chairman. In front of the Chairman, large table, with
cloth reaching to the floor. Water-bottle, and tumbler, and
lamp.
Chairman. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have great pleasure in an-
nouncing that the Right Hon. W. E. Gladstone {cheers), will give
his entertainment entitled " The Man of Many Characters" almost
immediately. The Premier's train is a little late, but—ah, here come
his fore-runners. {Enter two Servants in livery with a large basket-
box, which they place under the table and then retire.) And now we
may expect the Premier immediately.
[Enter Mr. Gladstone in evening dress hurriedly. lie is received
with thunders of opplause.
Mr. Gladstone. Ladies and Gentlemen ! {Great cheering.) I re-
gret I have kept you waiting for some quarter of an hour. My ex-
cuse must be that I caused the train to be pulled up, because I
noticed at a wayside station a crowd of villagers who, apparently,
were desirous to hear me speak. You must forgive me, for it
was for the good of the nation. _ {Cheers.) And now without
preface, I will appear as my friend Farmer Hodge. {Loud
applause, during which the Premier dives under the table and re-ap-
pears in character. Continued applause.) I be mighty glad to see ye.
And now, I '11 tell ye what I thinks about the Eight Hours' Bill.
{Airs his opinions in " Zomerzetshire " for some twenty minutes. At
the conclusion of his performance re-appears in evening dress-coat.
Applause.) Thank you very much. But although Farmer Hodge
is a very good fellow, I think Sandie MacBawbee is even better.
With your permission, I will appear as Sandie MacBawdee. {Dis-
appears under table, and re-appears in Highland Costume. Cheers.)
Dinna fash yourselves! Ma gracious! It's ma opinion that you '11
just hear a wee bit about Home Rule for Bonnie Scotland. AVell,
ye ken-{Airs his opinions upon his chosen subject in broad Scotch.
After a quarter of an hour he re-appears, and receives the usual ap-
plause.) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And now as I
have shown you Scotland and England, I think you would be pleased
with a glimpse of London. {Cheers.) You all like London, do you
not'r' {Applause.) With your kind permission, I will re-appear as
a noted _ character in the great tragic comedy of the world's
Metropolis. {Dives down and comes up as a Costermonger. Pro-
longed applause.) What cheer! {Laughter.) Well, you blokes
what are you grinning at ? I am a chickaleary cove, that's what 1
am. But I know what would knock you! You would like to 'ear
about 'Omc Rule. Eh? What che'er! 'Ere goes. {Reveals his
Home-Rule scheme with a Cockney twang and dialect. Then disap-
pears and re-appears in his customary evening dress.) Thank you
ttfr NOTICE.—Eejected Communications or Contributions, whether
in no case be returned, riot even when accompanied by a
there will be no exception.
most earnestly. {Loud cheers.) And now I am afraid I must bid
you good-bye. But before leaving, I must confess to you that I have
never had the honour of appearing before a juster, more intelligent,
and more appreciative audience. [Bows and exit.
Voices. Encore ! Encore ! Encore !
Mr. Gladstone {returning). I am deeply touched by this sign of
public confidence. I would willingly continue my character illus-
trations indefinitely, but, unfortunately, I am required in another part
of the country to repeat the same performances. I have only just
time to catch my special train. Thank you again and again.
[Exit hurriedly, after kissing his hand. The Footmen reappear,
and take aioay the large box. Applause, and Curtain.
There, my dear Mr. Punch, is the rough idea. I feel sure it could
be carried through with the greatest possible advantage.
Believe me, yours most truly,
An Earnest Patriot.
THE QUEEN OF MAN-O'ER-BOARD.
A Novel in Little from a Drama in Full.
Chapter I.—Lady Violet Malvern at Home.
It was a gorgeous entertainment, consisting chiefly of recitations
and the " Intermezzo." Lady Yiolet Malvern was the life and
soul of the party. But there were lesser lights in a Baron Finot, an
old diplomatist, and a Major Garrett, an officer in retreat.^ Then
came Armand Sevarro. He was an adventurer, and a friend of
Baron Finot, and had a solitary anecdote.
"I am going to be married to a young lady of the name of
Dorothy Blair, but cannot reveal the secret, because her mother is
not well enough to hear the news."
Then Armand met Lady Violet.
1' I dreamed years ago of going to the City of Manoa to find its
Queen. I have found her this evening."
" And she is-P" queried Lady Violet.
" You! " hissed the Brazilian (he was a Brazilian), and departed.
" What folly ! " murmured Lady Violet, in the moonlight.
And many agreed with her.
Chapter II.—The Garden of Dorothy Blair.
Dorothy was on the Thames. There came to her Armand.
" Will you never publish our contemplated marriage ? " she asked.
" How can I, child ? " he replied. " How can I reveal the secret
when your mother is not well enough to hear the news ? "
It was his solitary anecdote.
She sighed, and then came a steam-launch. It contained Lady
Violet, the other characters, lunch, and (played off) the "Intermezzo."
Then Armand preferred to fiirt with Lady Violet to Dorothy.
"What nonsense ! " thought Dorothy.
And her thoughts found an echo in the breasts of the audience.
Chapter III.—Smoke in the Smoking-7-oom.
And the Right Hon. Richard Malvern, having had supper,
was jealous of his wife. He told Lady Violet that he considered
Armand de trop. But he did it so amiably that it touched Lady
Violet deeply.
"I will send Armand away," she replied. Then she told the
Brazilian that it was his duty to stay away until his engagement
was announced.
"But how can it be announced ? " he replied, repeating his solitary
anecdote. " I am engaged to a young lady, but I cannot reveal the
secret, because her mother is not well enough to hear the news."
Then Lady Violet bade him, haughtily, adieu! He departed,
but returned, accompanied by the "Intermezzo." Then—probably
at the suggestion of the music—she hugged him. Then he left her.
" This is very wearisome," murmured Lady Violet.
And the audience agreed with her.
Chapter IV.—A Weir on the Thames.
It being moonlight, Lady Violet walked on a terrace, and
admired a dangerous weir. There was a shriek, and the Brazilian
rushed in accompanied by the " Intermezzo."
" Fly with me to any part of the Desert that pleases you most."
" I would be most delighted," replied Lady Violet; "I would
sacrifice myself to any extent, but I would not annoy my husband."
" Then let me kiss you with the aid of Mascagni," and he pressed
his lips to her brow, to the accompaniment of the "Intermezzo."
" I have been to Manoa, and kissed its Queen," said the Brazilian,
as he jumped into the weir, wearily. "It would have been better
had I died before."
" Yes," thought Lady Violet, as she leisurelv fainted, "it would
indeed have been better had he died in the First Act than in the
last. Then the piece would have been shorter, more satisfactory,
and less expensive to produce. Nay, more—a solitary Act might
have been one too many ! " And yet again the audience, " all o'er-
bored," entirely agreed with her!
MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rttU
THE FINDING OF PHARAOH.
Interesting Discovery in the Dead Season.
VERY ENTERTAINING.
Beak Mr. Punch,—So much is done by the organisers of the
Primrose League in the shape of amusements for the people, that it
seems strange "the other side" should not follow suit. "Without
having decided political opinions, I like both the Government and
Her Majesty's Opposition to be on equal terms. Hence my sugges-
tion. I see that, a few days ago, Mr. Gladstone, in speaking to an
audience at Barmouth, made the following remarks. He said—He
belonged to almost every part of the country. A Scotchman by
blood, born in Lancashire, and resident in London, he had become
closely attached to Wales by marriage, and had now become too old
to get rid of that inclination. Surely these admissions conjure up
the possibility of a really excellent entertainment. To show you
what I mean, I jot down, in dramatic form, my notion of the manner
in which the Premier's excellent idea should be worked out:—
Scene—A oarge hall, with a platform. On the platform, Committee
and Chairman. In front of the Chairman, large table, with
cloth reaching to the floor. Water-bottle, and tumbler, and
lamp.
Chairman. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have great pleasure in an-
nouncing that the Right Hon. W. E. Gladstone {cheers), will give
his entertainment entitled " The Man of Many Characters" almost
immediately. The Premier's train is a little late, but—ah, here come
his fore-runners. {Enter two Servants in livery with a large basket-
box, which they place under the table and then retire.) And now we
may expect the Premier immediately.
[Enter Mr. Gladstone in evening dress hurriedly. lie is received
with thunders of opplause.
Mr. Gladstone. Ladies and Gentlemen ! {Great cheering.) I re-
gret I have kept you waiting for some quarter of an hour. My ex-
cuse must be that I caused the train to be pulled up, because I
noticed at a wayside station a crowd of villagers who, apparently,
were desirous to hear me speak. You must forgive me, for it
was for the good of the nation. _ {Cheers.) And now without
preface, I will appear as my friend Farmer Hodge. {Loud
applause, during which the Premier dives under the table and re-ap-
pears in character. Continued applause.) I be mighty glad to see ye.
And now, I '11 tell ye what I thinks about the Eight Hours' Bill.
{Airs his opinions in " Zomerzetshire " for some twenty minutes. At
the conclusion of his performance re-appears in evening dress-coat.
Applause.) Thank you very much. But although Farmer Hodge
is a very good fellow, I think Sandie MacBawbee is even better.
With your permission, I will appear as Sandie MacBawdee. {Dis-
appears under table, and re-appears in Highland Costume. Cheers.)
Dinna fash yourselves! Ma gracious! It's ma opinion that you '11
just hear a wee bit about Home Rule for Bonnie Scotland. AVell,
ye ken-{Airs his opinions upon his chosen subject in broad Scotch.
After a quarter of an hour he re-appears, and receives the usual ap-
plause.) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And now as I
have shown you Scotland and England, I think you would be pleased
with a glimpse of London. {Cheers.) You all like London, do you
not'r' {Applause.) With your kind permission, I will re-appear as
a noted _ character in the great tragic comedy of the world's
Metropolis. {Dives down and comes up as a Costermonger. Pro-
longed applause.) What cheer! {Laughter.) Well, you blokes
what are you grinning at ? I am a chickaleary cove, that's what 1
am. But I know what would knock you! You would like to 'ear
about 'Omc Rule. Eh? What che'er! 'Ere goes. {Reveals his
Home-Rule scheme with a Cockney twang and dialect. Then disap-
pears and re-appears in his customary evening dress.) Thank you
ttfr NOTICE.—Eejected Communications or Contributions, whether
in no case be returned, riot even when accompanied by a
there will be no exception.
most earnestly. {Loud cheers.) And now I am afraid I must bid
you good-bye. But before leaving, I must confess to you that I have
never had the honour of appearing before a juster, more intelligent,
and more appreciative audience. [Bows and exit.
Voices. Encore ! Encore ! Encore !
Mr. Gladstone {returning). I am deeply touched by this sign of
public confidence. I would willingly continue my character illus-
trations indefinitely, but, unfortunately, I am required in another part
of the country to repeat the same performances. I have only just
time to catch my special train. Thank you again and again.
[Exit hurriedly, after kissing his hand. The Footmen reappear,
and take aioay the large box. Applause, and Curtain.
There, my dear Mr. Punch, is the rough idea. I feel sure it could
be carried through with the greatest possible advantage.
Believe me, yours most truly,
An Earnest Patriot.
THE QUEEN OF MAN-O'ER-BOARD.
A Novel in Little from a Drama in Full.
Chapter I.—Lady Violet Malvern at Home.
It was a gorgeous entertainment, consisting chiefly of recitations
and the " Intermezzo." Lady Yiolet Malvern was the life and
soul of the party. But there were lesser lights in a Baron Finot, an
old diplomatist, and a Major Garrett, an officer in retreat.^ Then
came Armand Sevarro. He was an adventurer, and a friend of
Baron Finot, and had a solitary anecdote.
"I am going to be married to a young lady of the name of
Dorothy Blair, but cannot reveal the secret, because her mother is
not well enough to hear the news."
Then Armand met Lady Violet.
1' I dreamed years ago of going to the City of Manoa to find its
Queen. I have found her this evening."
" And she is-P" queried Lady Violet.
" You! " hissed the Brazilian (he was a Brazilian), and departed.
" What folly ! " murmured Lady Violet, in the moonlight.
And many agreed with her.
Chapter II.—The Garden of Dorothy Blair.
Dorothy was on the Thames. There came to her Armand.
" Will you never publish our contemplated marriage ? " she asked.
" How can I, child ? " he replied. " How can I reveal the secret
when your mother is not well enough to hear the news ? "
It was his solitary anecdote.
She sighed, and then came a steam-launch. It contained Lady
Violet, the other characters, lunch, and (played off) the "Intermezzo."
Then Armand preferred to fiirt with Lady Violet to Dorothy.
"What nonsense ! " thought Dorothy.
And her thoughts found an echo in the breasts of the audience.
Chapter III.—Smoke in the Smoking-7-oom.
And the Right Hon. Richard Malvern, having had supper,
was jealous of his wife. He told Lady Violet that he considered
Armand de trop. But he did it so amiably that it touched Lady
Violet deeply.
"I will send Armand away," she replied. Then she told the
Brazilian that it was his duty to stay away until his engagement
was announced.
"But how can it be announced ? " he replied, repeating his solitary
anecdote. " I am engaged to a young lady, but I cannot reveal the
secret, because her mother is not well enough to hear the news."
Then Lady Violet bade him, haughtily, adieu! He departed,
but returned, accompanied by the "Intermezzo." Then—probably
at the suggestion of the music—she hugged him. Then he left her.
" This is very wearisome," murmured Lady Violet.
And the audience agreed with her.
Chapter IV.—A Weir on the Thames.
It being moonlight, Lady Violet walked on a terrace, and
admired a dangerous weir. There was a shriek, and the Brazilian
rushed in accompanied by the " Intermezzo."
" Fly with me to any part of the Desert that pleases you most."
" I would be most delighted," replied Lady Violet; "I would
sacrifice myself to any extent, but I would not annoy my husband."
" Then let me kiss you with the aid of Mascagni," and he pressed
his lips to her brow, to the accompaniment of the "Intermezzo."
" I have been to Manoa, and kissed its Queen," said the Brazilian,
as he jumped into the weir, wearily. "It would have been better
had I died before."
" Yes," thought Lady Violet, as she leisurelv fainted, "it would
indeed have been better had he died in the First Act than in the
last. Then the piece would have been shorter, more satisfactory,
and less expensive to produce. Nay, more—a solitary Act might
have been one too many ! " And yet again the audience, " all o'er-
bored," entirely agreed with her!
MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rttU