DOI Heft:
October 8, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0164
October 8, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
159
CONVERSATIONAL HINTS FOR YOUNG SHOOTERS.
{By Mr. Punch's own Grouse in the Gun-room.)
Many manuals have been published for the edification of beginners
in the art of shooting-. If that art can indeed be acquired by read-
ing, there is no reason why any youth, whose education^ has been
properly attended to, should not be perfectly proficient in it without
having fired a single shot. But, Mr. Punch, has noticed in all these
volumes a grave defect. In none of them is any instruction given
which shall enable a man to obtain a conversational as well as a
his guns got stuck. He will talk of this incident as another man
might talk of the loss of a friend or a fortune. Here you may
say,—"By gad, what frightful luck! What did you do?" He
will then narrate his comminatory interview with his gun-maker ;
others will burst in, and defend ejectors, or praise their own gun-
makers, and the ball, once set rolling, will not be stopped until
you take your places for the first beat of the afternoon, just as
Markham is telling you that his old Governor never shoots with
anything but an old muzzle-loader by Manton, and makes deuced
good practice with it too.
merely shooting success. Every pursuit has its proper conversational j "Choke" is not a very good ^topic; it doesn't last long. After
complement. The Farmer must know how to speak of crops and the you have asked your neighbour'if his gun is choked, and told him
weather in picturesque and inflam-
matory language ; the Barrister must
note, for use at the dinner-table, the
subtle jests of his colleagues, the
perplexity of stumbling witnesses,
and the soul-stirring jokes of Judges;
the Clergyman must babble of
Sunday-schools and Choir-practices.
Similarly, a Shooter must be able
to speak of his sport and its varied
incidents. To be merely a good shot
is nothing. Many dull men can be
that. The great thing, surely, is to
be both a good shot and a cheerful
light-hearted companion, with a fund
of anecdotes and a rich store of allu-
sions appropriate to every phase of
shooting. Mr. Punch ventures to
hope that the hints he has here put
together, may be of value to all who
propose to go out and "kill some-
thing" with a gun.
The Gun.
No subject offers a greater variety
of conversation than this. But, of
course, the occasion counts for a good
deal. It would be foolish to dis-
charge it (metaphorically speaking)
at the head of the first comer. You
must watch for your opportunity.
For instance, guns ought not to be
talked about directly after break-
fast, before a shot has been fired.
Better wait till after the shooting-
lunch, when a fresh start is being
made, say for the High Covert half
a mile away. You can then begin
after this fashion to your host:—
" That's a nice gun of yours, Chal-
mers. I saw you doing rare work
with it at the corner of the new plan-
tation this morning." Chalmers is
sure to be pleased. You not only call
attention to his skill, but you praise
his gun, and a man's gun is, as a
rule, as sacred to him as his pipe, his
political prejudices, his taste in wine,
or his wife's jewels. Therefore, Chal-
mers is pleased. He smiles in a
deprecating way, and says, "Yes,
it's not a bad gun, one of a pair I
bought last year."
" Would you mind letting me feel
it ? "
"Certainly not, my dear fellow—
here you are."
A PIS-ALLER.
"Are there any Niggers on the Beach this Morning,
Mammie?" "No, dear; it's Sunday morning.
You then interchange guns, hav- "°H. THEN 1 MAY As WELL G0 T0 Church with you !
that your left barrel has a modified
choke, the subject is pretty well ex-
hausted.
" Cast-off." Not to be recom-
mended. There is very little to be
made of it.
Something may be done with the
price of guns. There's sure to be
someone who has done all his best and
straightest shooting with a gun that
cost him only £15. Everybody else
will say, "It's perfect rot giving
such high prices for guns. You only
pay for the name. Mere robbery."
But there isn't one of them who
would consent not to be robbed.
It sometimes creates a pretty effect
to call your gun " My old fire-iron,"
or " my bundook," or " this old gas-
pipe of mine."
" Bore." Never pun on this word.
It is never done in really good sport-
ing society. But you can make a few
remarks, here and there, about the
comparative merits of twelve-bore
and _ sixteen-bore. Choose a good
opening for telling your story of the
man who shot with a fourteen-bore
?un, ran short of cartridges on a big
day, and was, of course, unable to
borrow from anyone else. Hence
you can deduce the superiority of
twelve-bores, as being the more
common size.
All these subjects, like all others
connected with shooting, can be re-
sumed and continued after dinner,
and in the smoking-room. Talk oi
the staleness of smoke ! It's nothing
to the staleness of the stories to which
four self-respecting smoking-room
walls have to listen in the course
of an evening,
(To be continued.)
BY-AND-BY LAWS FOR TRA-
FALGAR SQUARE.
( When Meetings are held in '' Times Oj
Political or Social Crises.")
1. Cabs, omnibuses, carriages, and
pedestrians will be expected to keep
clear of the space occupied by the
Demonstrators.
2. To prevent destruction of glass
and removal of property from shop
windows, tradesmen will be expected
to put up their shutters several hours
ing, of course, assured one another ■-* before the holding of the meeting
that they are not loaded. Having received Chalmers's gun, you
first appear to weigh it critically. Then, with an air of great
resolution, you bring it to your shoulder two or three times
in rapid succession, and fire imaginary shots at a cloud, or a tuft
of grass. You now hand it back to Chalmers, observing, " By
Jove, old chap, it's beautifully balanced! It comes up splendidly.
Suits me better than my own." Chalmers, who will have been
going through a similar pantomime with your gun, will make some
decently complimentary remark about it, and each of you will
think the other a devilish knowing and agreeable fellow.
From this point you can diverge into a discussion of the latest
improvements, as, e.g., "Areejectors really valuable ? " This is sure
to bring out the man who has tried ejectors, and has given them
up, because last year, at one of the hottest corners he ever knew,
when the sky was simply black with pheasants, the ejectors of both
3. No particular notice will be paid to the transference of property
from one leader of labour to another. If done by stealth, it will be
accepted as a proof of secret Socialism.
4. No objection will be raised to combats amongst the Demon-
strators, with the restriction that no Government property is injured.
5. As the maintaining of the road is a matter of contract, Demon-
strators wishing to emphasise their opinions, must bring their own
stones.
6. As a good deal of property is expected to change hands during
the various proceedings, an application with a description of lost
goods, and photograph of supposed thief, can be addressed to the
Chief Inspector of Police, Scotland Yard.
7. These regulations (wliich are tentative) will be in force until
after the next General Election, when a fresh series will be pub-
lished, to be followed by others as occasion may require.
159
CONVERSATIONAL HINTS FOR YOUNG SHOOTERS.
{By Mr. Punch's own Grouse in the Gun-room.)
Many manuals have been published for the edification of beginners
in the art of shooting-. If that art can indeed be acquired by read-
ing, there is no reason why any youth, whose education^ has been
properly attended to, should not be perfectly proficient in it without
having fired a single shot. But, Mr. Punch, has noticed in all these
volumes a grave defect. In none of them is any instruction given
which shall enable a man to obtain a conversational as well as a
his guns got stuck. He will talk of this incident as another man
might talk of the loss of a friend or a fortune. Here you may
say,—"By gad, what frightful luck! What did you do?" He
will then narrate his comminatory interview with his gun-maker ;
others will burst in, and defend ejectors, or praise their own gun-
makers, and the ball, once set rolling, will not be stopped until
you take your places for the first beat of the afternoon, just as
Markham is telling you that his old Governor never shoots with
anything but an old muzzle-loader by Manton, and makes deuced
good practice with it too.
merely shooting success. Every pursuit has its proper conversational j "Choke" is not a very good ^topic; it doesn't last long. After
complement. The Farmer must know how to speak of crops and the you have asked your neighbour'if his gun is choked, and told him
weather in picturesque and inflam-
matory language ; the Barrister must
note, for use at the dinner-table, the
subtle jests of his colleagues, the
perplexity of stumbling witnesses,
and the soul-stirring jokes of Judges;
the Clergyman must babble of
Sunday-schools and Choir-practices.
Similarly, a Shooter must be able
to speak of his sport and its varied
incidents. To be merely a good shot
is nothing. Many dull men can be
that. The great thing, surely, is to
be both a good shot and a cheerful
light-hearted companion, with a fund
of anecdotes and a rich store of allu-
sions appropriate to every phase of
shooting. Mr. Punch ventures to
hope that the hints he has here put
together, may be of value to all who
propose to go out and "kill some-
thing" with a gun.
The Gun.
No subject offers a greater variety
of conversation than this. But, of
course, the occasion counts for a good
deal. It would be foolish to dis-
charge it (metaphorically speaking)
at the head of the first comer. You
must watch for your opportunity.
For instance, guns ought not to be
talked about directly after break-
fast, before a shot has been fired.
Better wait till after the shooting-
lunch, when a fresh start is being
made, say for the High Covert half
a mile away. You can then begin
after this fashion to your host:—
" That's a nice gun of yours, Chal-
mers. I saw you doing rare work
with it at the corner of the new plan-
tation this morning." Chalmers is
sure to be pleased. You not only call
attention to his skill, but you praise
his gun, and a man's gun is, as a
rule, as sacred to him as his pipe, his
political prejudices, his taste in wine,
or his wife's jewels. Therefore, Chal-
mers is pleased. He smiles in a
deprecating way, and says, "Yes,
it's not a bad gun, one of a pair I
bought last year."
" Would you mind letting me feel
it ? "
"Certainly not, my dear fellow—
here you are."
A PIS-ALLER.
"Are there any Niggers on the Beach this Morning,
Mammie?" "No, dear; it's Sunday morning.
You then interchange guns, hav- "°H. THEN 1 MAY As WELL G0 T0 Church with you !
that your left barrel has a modified
choke, the subject is pretty well ex-
hausted.
" Cast-off." Not to be recom-
mended. There is very little to be
made of it.
Something may be done with the
price of guns. There's sure to be
someone who has done all his best and
straightest shooting with a gun that
cost him only £15. Everybody else
will say, "It's perfect rot giving
such high prices for guns. You only
pay for the name. Mere robbery."
But there isn't one of them who
would consent not to be robbed.
It sometimes creates a pretty effect
to call your gun " My old fire-iron,"
or " my bundook," or " this old gas-
pipe of mine."
" Bore." Never pun on this word.
It is never done in really good sport-
ing society. But you can make a few
remarks, here and there, about the
comparative merits of twelve-bore
and _ sixteen-bore. Choose a good
opening for telling your story of the
man who shot with a fourteen-bore
?un, ran short of cartridges on a big
day, and was, of course, unable to
borrow from anyone else. Hence
you can deduce the superiority of
twelve-bores, as being the more
common size.
All these subjects, like all others
connected with shooting, can be re-
sumed and continued after dinner,
and in the smoking-room. Talk oi
the staleness of smoke ! It's nothing
to the staleness of the stories to which
four self-respecting smoking-room
walls have to listen in the course
of an evening,
(To be continued.)
BY-AND-BY LAWS FOR TRA-
FALGAR SQUARE.
( When Meetings are held in '' Times Oj
Political or Social Crises.")
1. Cabs, omnibuses, carriages, and
pedestrians will be expected to keep
clear of the space occupied by the
Demonstrators.
2. To prevent destruction of glass
and removal of property from shop
windows, tradesmen will be expected
to put up their shutters several hours
ing, of course, assured one another ■-* before the holding of the meeting
that they are not loaded. Having received Chalmers's gun, you
first appear to weigh it critically. Then, with an air of great
resolution, you bring it to your shoulder two or three times
in rapid succession, and fire imaginary shots at a cloud, or a tuft
of grass. You now hand it back to Chalmers, observing, " By
Jove, old chap, it's beautifully balanced! It comes up splendidly.
Suits me better than my own." Chalmers, who will have been
going through a similar pantomime with your gun, will make some
decently complimentary remark about it, and each of you will
think the other a devilish knowing and agreeable fellow.
From this point you can diverge into a discussion of the latest
improvements, as, e.g., "Areejectors really valuable ? " This is sure
to bring out the man who has tried ejectors, and has given them
up, because last year, at one of the hottest corners he ever knew,
when the sky was simply black with pheasants, the ejectors of both
3. No particular notice will be paid to the transference of property
from one leader of labour to another. If done by stealth, it will be
accepted as a proof of secret Socialism.
4. No objection will be raised to combats amongst the Demon-
strators, with the restriction that no Government property is injured.
5. As the maintaining of the road is a matter of contract, Demon-
strators wishing to emphasise their opinions, must bring their own
stones.
6. As a good deal of property is expected to change hands during
the various proceedings, an application with a description of lost
goods, and photograph of supposed thief, can be addressed to the
Chief Inspector of Police, Scotland Yard.
7. These regulations (wliich are tentative) will be in force until
after the next General Election, when a fresh series will be pub-
lished, to be followed by others as occasion may require.