DOI Heft:
October 15, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0185
180 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 15, 1892.
CONVERSATIONAL HINTS FOR YOUNG SHOOTERS.
(By Mr. Punch's own Grouse in the Gun-room.)
In our last (it is Mr. Punch who speaks), we indicated very briefly
the conversational possibilities of the Grun. It must be observed,
that this treatise makes no pretensions to be exhaustive. Something
must, after all, be left to the ingenuity of the young shooter who
desires to talk of sport. All that these hints profess, is to put him
in the way of shining, if there is a certain amount of natural bright-
ness to begin upon. The next subject will be—
Caetbidges.
To a real talker, this subject offers an infinite variety of opportu-
nities. First, you can begin to fight the battle of the powders, as
thus:—
" What powder are you shooting with this year, Chalmees ?
"Schultze"
"How do you find it kill?"
'' Deadly — absolutely-deadly: best
lot I 've ever had."
You need not say anything more
now. The discussion will get along
beautifully without you, for you will
have drawn, (1), the man who very
much prefers E.C., which he warrants
to kill at a distance no other powder
can attain to ; (2), the man who uses
—^3S^= — E.C. or Schultze for his right barrel,
and always puts a black-powder cartridge into his left; (3), the
detester of innovations, who means to go on using the good old
black-powder for both barrels as long as he lives; and (4), the man
who is trying an entirely new patent powder, infinitely superior to
anything else ever invented, and is willing to give everybody, not
only the address of the maker, but half a dozen cartridges to try.
You cannot make much of " charges " of powder. Good shots are
dogmatic on the point, and ordinary shots don't bother their heads
about it, trusting entirely to the man who sells them their cartridges.
Still you might throw out, here and there, a few words about
"drams" and "grains." Only, |above all things, be careful not to
mention drams in connection with anything but black powder, nor
grains, except with reference to Schultze or E.C. A laboriously-
acquired reputation as a scientific shot has been known to be ruined
by a want of clearness on this important point.
"Shot." Conversationally much more valuable than powder.
"Very few people agree," says a well-known authority; "as to
what is the best size of shot to use, and many forget that the charge
which will suit one gun, and one description of game, will not do as
well for another. Usually, one gun will shoot better one size of shot
than will another, and we may safely say. that large bores shoot
large shot better than do smaller bores." This last sentence has the
beautiful ring of a profound truism. Lay it by for use, and bring it
out with emphasis in the midst of such disagreement and forgetful-
ness as are here alluded to. " If a shooter is a good shot," says the
same classic, "he may use No. 6 early in the season, and only for
partridges—afterwards, nothing but No. 5. To the average shot,
No. 6 throughout the season." This
sounds dreadfully invidious. If a
good shot cannot kill grouse with
No. 6, how on earth is a merely average
shot to do the trick? But, in these
matters, the conversationalist finds his
opportunity. Only they must not be
pushed too far. There was once a
party of genial, light-hearted friends,
who went out shooting. Early in the
day, slight differences of opiuion made
themselves observed with reference to
the size of shot. Lunch found them still more or less good-tempered,
but each obstinately determined not to give way even by a fraction
on the point under discussion.
Afterwards they began again. The very dogs grew ashamed of
the noise, and went home. That afternoon there was peace in the
world of birds—at least, on that particular shooting—and the next
morning saw the shooting-parties of England reduced by one, which
had separated in different dog-carts, and various stages of high
dudgeon, for the railway station. So, please to be very, very careful.
Use the methods of compromise. If you find your friend obstinately
pinned to No. 5, when you have declared a preference for No. 6, meet
him half-way, or even profess to be converted by his arguments. Or
tell him the anecdote about the Irishman, who always shot snipe
with No. 4, because, " being such a little bird, bedad, you want a
bigger shot to get at the beggar." You can then inform him how you
yourself once did dreadful execution among driven grouse in a gale
of wind with No. 8 shot, which you had brought out by mistake.
You may object that you never, as a matter of fact, did this execu-
tion, never having even shot at all with No, 8. Tush! you are
puling. If you are going to let a conscientious accuracy stand in your
way like this, you had better become dumb when sporting talk is
flying about. Of course you must not exaggerate too much. Only
bumptious fools do that, and they are called liars for their pains.
But a little exaggeration, just a soupgon of romance, does no one
any harm, while it relieves the prosaic dulness of the ordinary
anecdote. So, swallow your scruples, and
Join the gay throng
That goes talking along,
For we '11 all go romancing to-day.
(To be continued.)
DOE VERSUS ROE (DENT).
[" The basements of the Royal Courts of Justice have lately been invaded
by swarms of mice. They have become very audacious, and have penetrated
into the Courts themselves, whose walls are lined with legal volumes, the
leaves of which provide them with a rich feast."—Daily Taper.]
Foe students of the law to " eat
Their terms " is obviously right,
But to devour the books them-
selves Is impolite.
Unfortunately Mr. Steeet,
Who planned the legal edif-ice,
Designed a splendid trap for men,
But not for mice.
To view the Courts at midnight
now, [Strand,
The Courts all in the stilly
With rodents squeaking out their
pleas,
That would be grand !
No Ushers 'ush them ; they con-
sume
The stiffest calf you ever saw,
Developing, these curious beasts,
A taste for Law.
They fill — perhaps—the box
wherein, [sat,
Twelve bothered men have often
And try, with every proper form, j And try a copy of the Ju
Some absent cat. -dicature Acts !
A fore-mouse probably they choose,
The culprit's advocate deride,
And fix upon that cat the guilt
Of mouseycide.
At the Refreshment-bars, per-
chance, [the milk,
They eat the cakes, and drink
And in the Robing-room indulge
In "taking silk."
The Judges' sacred Bench itself
From scampering feet is not
exempt; [Court,
With calmness they commit, of
Frightful " contempt."
Through Byles on Bills they eat
their way; [digest;
Law "Digests " they at will
Not even Coke on Littleton
Sticks on their chests !
Wanted—the stodgiest Law-book
out! [these facts,
The Judges soon must note
WHY THE FRENCH WON THE BOAT-RACE.
(Ansicers supplied by an Unprejudiced Briton.)
Because the English Eight had had no practice on the Seine.
Because the Londoners had had a fearful
passage crossing the Channel.
Because they smashed their boat, and had
to have it repaired.
Because the English steering might have
been better.
Because the weather was intolerable, and
chiefly affected the Englishmen.
Because the Londoners had no chance of
pulling together.
Because the French knew the counse better
than the English.
Because the race should have been rowed
weeks before.
Because the race should not have been rowed for months.
Because the British naturally liked to see the foreigners win.
And last (and least), because the French had by far the better crew !
Ecclesiastical Intelligence.—The style, title, office, and dignity
of Archbishop of Canterbury, with all appurtenances thereto belong-
ing, with all emoluments, spiritualities and temporalities appertain-
ing, have been conferred by letters patent, under supreme authority,
according to Act V. Henricus Noster in such cases made and provided,
on the Rev. Mr. Vincent, in consequence of the retirement of the
Right Rev. Aethtje Stteling from the said office; the duties of which
he so recently and so effectively performed between the hours of ten-
thirty and eleven-fifteen every night for several months at the
Theatre Royal Lyceum. We are in a position to add, that his resig-
nation of this high and valuable office, has not taken place in
consequence of any question as to the validity or invalidity of orders
("not admitted after 7'30"), nor has this step been rendered
imperative by reason of any "irregularity" in "properties" or
" appointments."
NOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rula
there will be_ no exception.
CONVERSATIONAL HINTS FOR YOUNG SHOOTERS.
(By Mr. Punch's own Grouse in the Gun-room.)
In our last (it is Mr. Punch who speaks), we indicated very briefly
the conversational possibilities of the Grun. It must be observed,
that this treatise makes no pretensions to be exhaustive. Something
must, after all, be left to the ingenuity of the young shooter who
desires to talk of sport. All that these hints profess, is to put him
in the way of shining, if there is a certain amount of natural bright-
ness to begin upon. The next subject will be—
Caetbidges.
To a real talker, this subject offers an infinite variety of opportu-
nities. First, you can begin to fight the battle of the powders, as
thus:—
" What powder are you shooting with this year, Chalmees ?
"Schultze"
"How do you find it kill?"
'' Deadly — absolutely-deadly: best
lot I 've ever had."
You need not say anything more
now. The discussion will get along
beautifully without you, for you will
have drawn, (1), the man who very
much prefers E.C., which he warrants
to kill at a distance no other powder
can attain to ; (2), the man who uses
—^3S^= — E.C. or Schultze for his right barrel,
and always puts a black-powder cartridge into his left; (3), the
detester of innovations, who means to go on using the good old
black-powder for both barrels as long as he lives; and (4), the man
who is trying an entirely new patent powder, infinitely superior to
anything else ever invented, and is willing to give everybody, not
only the address of the maker, but half a dozen cartridges to try.
You cannot make much of " charges " of powder. Good shots are
dogmatic on the point, and ordinary shots don't bother their heads
about it, trusting entirely to the man who sells them their cartridges.
Still you might throw out, here and there, a few words about
"drams" and "grains." Only, |above all things, be careful not to
mention drams in connection with anything but black powder, nor
grains, except with reference to Schultze or E.C. A laboriously-
acquired reputation as a scientific shot has been known to be ruined
by a want of clearness on this important point.
"Shot." Conversationally much more valuable than powder.
"Very few people agree," says a well-known authority; "as to
what is the best size of shot to use, and many forget that the charge
which will suit one gun, and one description of game, will not do as
well for another. Usually, one gun will shoot better one size of shot
than will another, and we may safely say. that large bores shoot
large shot better than do smaller bores." This last sentence has the
beautiful ring of a profound truism. Lay it by for use, and bring it
out with emphasis in the midst of such disagreement and forgetful-
ness as are here alluded to. " If a shooter is a good shot," says the
same classic, "he may use No. 6 early in the season, and only for
partridges—afterwards, nothing but No. 5. To the average shot,
No. 6 throughout the season." This
sounds dreadfully invidious. If a
good shot cannot kill grouse with
No. 6, how on earth is a merely average
shot to do the trick? But, in these
matters, the conversationalist finds his
opportunity. Only they must not be
pushed too far. There was once a
party of genial, light-hearted friends,
who went out shooting. Early in the
day, slight differences of opiuion made
themselves observed with reference to
the size of shot. Lunch found them still more or less good-tempered,
but each obstinately determined not to give way even by a fraction
on the point under discussion.
Afterwards they began again. The very dogs grew ashamed of
the noise, and went home. That afternoon there was peace in the
world of birds—at least, on that particular shooting—and the next
morning saw the shooting-parties of England reduced by one, which
had separated in different dog-carts, and various stages of high
dudgeon, for the railway station. So, please to be very, very careful.
Use the methods of compromise. If you find your friend obstinately
pinned to No. 5, when you have declared a preference for No. 6, meet
him half-way, or even profess to be converted by his arguments. Or
tell him the anecdote about the Irishman, who always shot snipe
with No. 4, because, " being such a little bird, bedad, you want a
bigger shot to get at the beggar." You can then inform him how you
yourself once did dreadful execution among driven grouse in a gale
of wind with No. 8 shot, which you had brought out by mistake.
You may object that you never, as a matter of fact, did this execu-
tion, never having even shot at all with No, 8. Tush! you are
puling. If you are going to let a conscientious accuracy stand in your
way like this, you had better become dumb when sporting talk is
flying about. Of course you must not exaggerate too much. Only
bumptious fools do that, and they are called liars for their pains.
But a little exaggeration, just a soupgon of romance, does no one
any harm, while it relieves the prosaic dulness of the ordinary
anecdote. So, swallow your scruples, and
Join the gay throng
That goes talking along,
For we '11 all go romancing to-day.
(To be continued.)
DOE VERSUS ROE (DENT).
[" The basements of the Royal Courts of Justice have lately been invaded
by swarms of mice. They have become very audacious, and have penetrated
into the Courts themselves, whose walls are lined with legal volumes, the
leaves of which provide them with a rich feast."—Daily Taper.]
Foe students of the law to " eat
Their terms " is obviously right,
But to devour the books them-
selves Is impolite.
Unfortunately Mr. Steeet,
Who planned the legal edif-ice,
Designed a splendid trap for men,
But not for mice.
To view the Courts at midnight
now, [Strand,
The Courts all in the stilly
With rodents squeaking out their
pleas,
That would be grand !
No Ushers 'ush them ; they con-
sume
The stiffest calf you ever saw,
Developing, these curious beasts,
A taste for Law.
They fill — perhaps—the box
wherein, [sat,
Twelve bothered men have often
And try, with every proper form, j And try a copy of the Ju
Some absent cat. -dicature Acts !
A fore-mouse probably they choose,
The culprit's advocate deride,
And fix upon that cat the guilt
Of mouseycide.
At the Refreshment-bars, per-
chance, [the milk,
They eat the cakes, and drink
And in the Robing-room indulge
In "taking silk."
The Judges' sacred Bench itself
From scampering feet is not
exempt; [Court,
With calmness they commit, of
Frightful " contempt."
Through Byles on Bills they eat
their way; [digest;
Law "Digests " they at will
Not even Coke on Littleton
Sticks on their chests !
Wanted—the stodgiest Law-book
out! [these facts,
The Judges soon must note
WHY THE FRENCH WON THE BOAT-RACE.
(Ansicers supplied by an Unprejudiced Briton.)
Because the English Eight had had no practice on the Seine.
Because the Londoners had had a fearful
passage crossing the Channel.
Because they smashed their boat, and had
to have it repaired.
Because the English steering might have
been better.
Because the weather was intolerable, and
chiefly affected the Englishmen.
Because the Londoners had no chance of
pulling together.
Because the French knew the counse better
than the English.
Because the race should have been rowed
weeks before.
Because the race should not have been rowed for months.
Because the British naturally liked to see the foreigners win.
And last (and least), because the French had by far the better crew !
Ecclesiastical Intelligence.—The style, title, office, and dignity
of Archbishop of Canterbury, with all appurtenances thereto belong-
ing, with all emoluments, spiritualities and temporalities appertain-
ing, have been conferred by letters patent, under supreme authority,
according to Act V. Henricus Noster in such cases made and provided,
on the Rev. Mr. Vincent, in consequence of the retirement of the
Right Rev. Aethtje Stteling from the said office; the duties of which
he so recently and so effectively performed between the hours of ten-
thirty and eleven-fifteen every night for several months at the
Theatre Royal Lyceum. We are in a position to add, that his resig-
nation of this high and valuable office, has not taken place in
consequence of any question as to the validity or invalidity of orders
("not admitted after 7'30"), nor has this step been rendered
imperative by reason of any "irregularity" in "properties" or
" appointments."
NOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rula
there will be_ no exception.