DOI issue:
October 29, 1892
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0200
^mmmmm mmmtmmmm ■■ mmm n - mm
October 29, 1892.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
195
1 '■. :"'<>
SOMETHING LIKE A MOUNT.
Sportsman {with gun). " Hillo, Algie, been Cub-hunting? How does the Young 'Un go?"
Algie. "Splendidly, old Fellow, splendidly I Never carried so well in my life! Got clean away with me as soon
as they Found,—couldn't hold him a bit—bold as a Lion, nothing stops him,—went slick through a flight o' fair-holed
Posts and Rails, smashed a Gate into Matchwood,—Twenty Minutes straight as the Crow flies through and over every-
thing,—and, hang me, if he wouldn't have been going yet, if he hadn't put his foot into a rabbit-hole crossing CfiUMP-
ler Common, and come a regular Crownek. Don't know where the deuce the Hounds went to ! Had a glorious Gallop,
though, all to myself ! "
THE COUNTY-COUNCILLOR'S DIARY.
(A few Years hence.)
Monday.—To-day's meeting of the Council rather stormy. The
Council's Clerk of the "Works, who superintends the fifty thousand
builders, bricklayers, &e., who are now employed directly by us,
reports that, unless the concessions demanded by the men are granted,
they will all go out on strike to-morrow. The concessions are—Free
beer three times a-day; half-holiday every other day at full day's
wages ; and a month's trip to the Riviera in winter, paid for out of
the rates. Clerk of the Works (appointed, on elective principle, by
the men themselves) describes these demands as4' highly moderate and
reasonable." < Council unable to agree with him. After sitting for
six hours, amid frightful uproar, Council breaks up, without coming
to any decision.
Tuesday.—"Workmen have struck! Awkward, as they have just
pulled down north Bide of Strand, to make room for double lines
of electric tramways in centre of roadway, and whole street in
an awful litter. Begin to wish we had not " Abolished the Con-
tractor" quite so hastily.
Wednesday.—Another meeting of Council. Quite unanimous to
go on resisting men's demands. Clerk of "Works reports that the
Council's scavengers, plumbers,, carters, lamp-lighters, and turn-
cocks, are all threatening to strike, in sympathy with bricklayers.
In consequence of evident enjoyment with which Clerk makes this
announcement, proposal to decrease his salary from that of a Lord
Chancellor to that of a Puisne Judge, carried nem. con. In spite of
attacks on Council in the Press, satisfactory that it knows how to
keep up its dignity at this crisis.
Thursday.—Matters getting serious. A deep fall of snow has
occurred, and Council's men refuse to clear it away, or let others do
the work! In addition, Strand tradesmen come in body to Spring
Gardens to say that " nobody can get near their shops, and they are
being rapidly ruined." Hastily-convened meeting of the Council.
Proposal to ask our old Contractor to rebuild Strand and clear snow
away. Our old Contractor declines to tender for the job ! He says,
" Council has abolished the Middleman, and had better get on with-
out him, if it can! " Rude, but forcible.
Friday.—Council heroically decides to do the work itself. Am told
off by Chairman to help remove old bricks on the Strand site. Have
first to dig snow away to get at bricks. Intense amusement of hostile
crowd, from whom we are protected by a cordon of police. Bark my
shins badly against wheel of cart. Chairman—who has been
extremely energetic in running up and down a ladder with a hod of
mortar over his shoulder, which he thinks is bricklaying—falls from
ladder and is taken off to Charing Cross Hospital, amid shower of
brickbats. Crowd wants to know " which is McDougall." "When
they find out, pelt him with snowballs. Burns—who has stuck
loyally to Council—fiercely denounced as a " blackleg " by crowd.
Amusing at any other time. Home in evening dead tired, under
police escort. _ Find all my front windows smashed I After all—was
it wise to abolish the Contractor ?
Saturday.—"Whole County Council, protected by several regiments
from Aldershotj a park of Artillery, and all the City Police (Council's
own Police being out on strike, in sympathy with bricklayers),
manage with great difficulty to fill ten carts with rubbish, and then
adjourn to Spring Gardens. Refreshments and free sticking-plaster
handed round before Meeting takes place. Meeting unanimously
decides to re-establish old Middleman system ! Sir John Lubbock
humorously suggests that it is, at any rate, better than the " muddle-
man" system which we have tried and found wanting. Bonus of
£5,000 out of rates, enthusiastically voted to any Contractor who will
tender for job of clearing snow and widening Strand.
Later.—High Court disallows our " precept" for the £5,000 bonus
—says we must pay it out of our own pockets!
"Wish'I had never stood for London County Council!
October 29, 1892.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
195
1 '■. :"'<>
SOMETHING LIKE A MOUNT.
Sportsman {with gun). " Hillo, Algie, been Cub-hunting? How does the Young 'Un go?"
Algie. "Splendidly, old Fellow, splendidly I Never carried so well in my life! Got clean away with me as soon
as they Found,—couldn't hold him a bit—bold as a Lion, nothing stops him,—went slick through a flight o' fair-holed
Posts and Rails, smashed a Gate into Matchwood,—Twenty Minutes straight as the Crow flies through and over every-
thing,—and, hang me, if he wouldn't have been going yet, if he hadn't put his foot into a rabbit-hole crossing CfiUMP-
ler Common, and come a regular Crownek. Don't know where the deuce the Hounds went to ! Had a glorious Gallop,
though, all to myself ! "
THE COUNTY-COUNCILLOR'S DIARY.
(A few Years hence.)
Monday.—To-day's meeting of the Council rather stormy. The
Council's Clerk of the "Works, who superintends the fifty thousand
builders, bricklayers, &e., who are now employed directly by us,
reports that, unless the concessions demanded by the men are granted,
they will all go out on strike to-morrow. The concessions are—Free
beer three times a-day; half-holiday every other day at full day's
wages ; and a month's trip to the Riviera in winter, paid for out of
the rates. Clerk of the Works (appointed, on elective principle, by
the men themselves) describes these demands as4' highly moderate and
reasonable." < Council unable to agree with him. After sitting for
six hours, amid frightful uproar, Council breaks up, without coming
to any decision.
Tuesday.—"Workmen have struck! Awkward, as they have just
pulled down north Bide of Strand, to make room for double lines
of electric tramways in centre of roadway, and whole street in
an awful litter. Begin to wish we had not " Abolished the Con-
tractor" quite so hastily.
Wednesday.—Another meeting of Council. Quite unanimous to
go on resisting men's demands. Clerk of "Works reports that the
Council's scavengers, plumbers,, carters, lamp-lighters, and turn-
cocks, are all threatening to strike, in sympathy with bricklayers.
In consequence of evident enjoyment with which Clerk makes this
announcement, proposal to decrease his salary from that of a Lord
Chancellor to that of a Puisne Judge, carried nem. con. In spite of
attacks on Council in the Press, satisfactory that it knows how to
keep up its dignity at this crisis.
Thursday.—Matters getting serious. A deep fall of snow has
occurred, and Council's men refuse to clear it away, or let others do
the work! In addition, Strand tradesmen come in body to Spring
Gardens to say that " nobody can get near their shops, and they are
being rapidly ruined." Hastily-convened meeting of the Council.
Proposal to ask our old Contractor to rebuild Strand and clear snow
away. Our old Contractor declines to tender for the job ! He says,
" Council has abolished the Middleman, and had better get on with-
out him, if it can! " Rude, but forcible.
Friday.—Council heroically decides to do the work itself. Am told
off by Chairman to help remove old bricks on the Strand site. Have
first to dig snow away to get at bricks. Intense amusement of hostile
crowd, from whom we are protected by a cordon of police. Bark my
shins badly against wheel of cart. Chairman—who has been
extremely energetic in running up and down a ladder with a hod of
mortar over his shoulder, which he thinks is bricklaying—falls from
ladder and is taken off to Charing Cross Hospital, amid shower of
brickbats. Crowd wants to know " which is McDougall." "When
they find out, pelt him with snowballs. Burns—who has stuck
loyally to Council—fiercely denounced as a " blackleg " by crowd.
Amusing at any other time. Home in evening dead tired, under
police escort. _ Find all my front windows smashed I After all—was
it wise to abolish the Contractor ?
Saturday.—"Whole County Council, protected by several regiments
from Aldershotj a park of Artillery, and all the City Police (Council's
own Police being out on strike, in sympathy with bricklayers),
manage with great difficulty to fill ten carts with rubbish, and then
adjourn to Spring Gardens. Refreshments and free sticking-plaster
handed round before Meeting takes place. Meeting unanimously
decides to re-establish old Middleman system ! Sir John Lubbock
humorously suggests that it is, at any rate, better than the " muddle-
man" system which we have tried and found wanting. Bonus of
£5,000 out of rates, enthusiastically voted to any Contractor who will
tender for job of clearing snow and widening Strand.
Later.—High Court disallows our " precept" for the £5,000 bonus
—says we must pay it out of our own pockets!
"Wish'I had never stood for London County Council!