DOI Heft:
November 19, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0237
232 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 19, 1892.
ALL ROUND THE FAIR.
No. I.
Scene—A street of Gingerbread, Sioeetstuff, and Toy-stalls, "Cocoa-
nut Shies," "Box-pitching Saloons," §c, ' forming the ap-
proach to the more festive portion of the Fair, from which
proceeds a cheerful cacophony of oi'chestrions, barrel-organs,
steam-whistles, gongs, big drums, rattles, and speaking-
trumpets.
Proprietors of Cocoa-nut Shies. Now, then, play up all o' you—
ar-har! There goes another on 'em ! That's the way to 'it 'em-
win all yer like, &c.
A Rival Proprietor {pointing to his target, through the centre of
which his partner's head is protruded). Look at that! Ain't that
better nor any coker-nut ? Every time you 'it my mate's 'ed, you
humanity.) 'Ere, 'are a go at 'im, some o' you—give 'im a little
encouragement!
The Head {plaintively). Don't neglect a man as is doing his best
last successful.) Theer—now, ye can please yourself, and doan't
choose nawthen' foolish this time ! {He strolls on with lordly indif-
ference, and is presently rejoined byMelia.) Well, what did ye take
arter all ?
Melia. I got so flustered like, for fear o' losin' you, I just up and
took the first that came 'andy.
Joe. Why, if ye ain't bin and took another cup an' sarcer ! hor—
hor ! that's a good 'un, that is! Take keer on it, it's cost money
enough any 'ow—'t wouldn't be no bargain if it wur a 'ole tea-set!
What's goin' on 'ere ?
\_A venerable old Sportsman, whom the reader may possibly re-
collect having met before, has collected a small crowd in a
convenient corner ; his stock-in-trade consists of an innocent-
looking basket, with a linen-covet; upon which are a
sharpened skewer and a narrow strip of cloth.
The Sportsman. I'll undertake to show you more fun in five
git a good cigar ! {As the bystanders hang back, from motives of' minutes, than you '11 get over there in two : {with a vague suspicion
that this is rather a lame conclusion)—in ten, I should say! This 'ere's
a simple enough little game, when you know the trick of it, and I'm
on'y a leamirC it myself. I ain't doin' this for money. I got money
to please yer, gen'l'men I) A enough to sink a ship—it's
soft-hearted Bystander takes M on'y for my own amusement.
a shot at him, out of sheer ^sgt* w Now you watch me a doin' up
compassion, and misses.) Try I^Mi^M *l this garter—keep yer eye on it.
agen, Sir. I ain't 'ere to be flilPlillPc co^s UP ^xe t^r%P') ^
idle ^^^^ %^L~y-^m\ ^oes UP 'ere> ye see' an^ down
A Sharp Little Girl {pre- -= .._____________'—~"~ JBct^8! I there, and in 'ere agin, and
siding over a sloping Chinese ^UK)!'^^^ then round. Now, I'm ready
Billiard - board). Now, my '^V^^sf&H^^^^^S. *° ^et anything from a sove-
dears—(To a group of boys, p V i^^mi^^^^^K p1 reign to a shilling, nobody
of about her oivn age)—'ave <■—"' i^MBaMg^^^^ & ptiV! 'ere can prick the middle,
what yer like. A penny a c*^JLv V- ^ '—f^r^M^BSma^^^^M^K #N/ I'11 tell ye if ye win. I'm ole
pull, and a prize every time ! ^^V!5^^^^^^^^^j^^j^mb^^bW^^m^ |IS3.\)'"I im Billy F airplay, and I don't
Wherever the marble rolls, ' i^^S^^^^^S^^V^4ftffi~ " MW cheat! {A Spotty-faced Man,
you 'ave any one article on Mf^hx ^^\f|ilp*" VBB^B^^^a^^^^v ^"'" jft#:' after intently following the
the board! -Wa /I ^^^^BMM™m&Wm^^M^\ process, says he believes he
[One of the boys pays a . • ^r^^^^WHBHBffll^^^^^mlft could find the middle.) Well,
penny, and pulls a handle, —y?;?- ^ ^WHH^^^^^^^R/\ | don't tell—that's all. I'm
propelling a marble, which, "-• M^KK^mMmnM^WmMy f 'ere all alone, agin the lot o'
after striking a bell at the H --^^^^^C^" j; I ye, and I want to win if I
top of the slope, wobbles ' 1 >^^0^^ llm^K^^^MIMUf/M/\ I / can—one dog to a bone ! ( The
down into a compartment. ^-—mBSnKKSSSaMWl^^} \f S.-F. M. produces a florin
The Boy {indicating a gar- z_rz^-£^=^Z---\fn^ <vi ^ from a mouldy purse, and
geous china ornament on the ! - ^^^^^SmHfjKp v/ Mlf\ stakes it, and makes a dab at
board). I '11 'ave one o' them— j —" j^f^^K-----— lIllI^BHrlr JmIwMH- \ ^e co^ w^ s^ewer-) No,
to take'ome to mother. j j tm%2$B&f K< 7tilWill \ vc're wrong—that's outside !
The S. L. G. {with pitying """" MI&£B\ ft l\\Mw \ (0. B. F. pulls the strip out.)
superiority). No, my boy, you | fm, ^m^^^, \ i if '' I'll X By Gum, ye've done it, after
can go to a shop and buy one J ——■ 1 1 ; ( ? a^' '^re 's four bob for you,
o' them for sixpence if vou r>|^fe^Pi^^^m\ =?2:?^ Wp^m&k I WarL^1 'm every as pleased
like-but We you must 'ave ^SfflBf^'jRv A y^lMT^JipHHB I Im ( as if I'd won myself! 'Oo'll
what you git! ^mm*W^W.<M\ *T ^^B'1 fli|i\ 1 try next?
[She awards him a very dingy j />,, ^ 1^^^^ Mh j A Smart Young Man {with
lead-pencil, with which he , , imiMlffi Hffii il a brilliant pin in a dii'ty neck-
departs, abashed, and evi- l\ j , i^^^p^i iMll/ ^° J°E)- 1 don't see how
dently revolving her dark yy , lttj|„ "'W jmfmM\ W^I&W* it's done—do you ?
saying in his perplexed 1 /rra'S^^I^^ Hm \\ Ye will if you don't
mma\ ^^^^^^S' f%\ / take yer eyes off it—theer, I
Proprietor of a Box-pitching Saloon. One penny a ball! 'at^---^^^^' M j could tell ye the middle now,
For hevery ball that goes in the boxes, you choose any prize ,,rp / I could.
you like! {With sorrow and sympathy, to a female Com- %'m- >/ / (p^?n TAe Sp.-F. M. Law, yes,
petitor.) Too 'ard, Lady, too 'ard! {To a male Comp., ^ j ' ' ^^^^ simP^e enough. I done
whose ball has struck the edge of the box, and bounced off.) ■ , „ it first time.
Very near, Sir! thon> Plu-V UP> a11 « you-ar-har! ow B F Give an old man
[Several Competitors expend penny after penny unsuccessfully, i a chance to get a bit. If any party 'ere 'as found me out, let him
and walk away, with a grin of entire satisfaction. j 'old 'is tongue—it 's all I ask. {To Joe.) You've seen this afore,
Joe {landing a ball in one of the boxes, after four failures). I told /know !
'ee I'd pet waun in! {To his Young Woman.) What are ye goin' Joe. Noa, I ain't—but I could tell ye th' middle,
to 'avo; Melia? _ Old B. F. Will ye bet on it? Come—not too 'igh, but just to
Melia {hovering undecidedly over a glittering array of shell-boxes, show you've confidence in your opinion!
cheap photograph-albums and crockery). I '11 take one o'-no, I Joe {cautiously). I woant bet wi' ye, but I '11 hcv a try, just for
won't neither. . . I really don't know what to 'ave ! nawthen, if ye like!
Joe {with masculine impatience). Well, go on—take summat, can't Old B. F. Well, I want to see if you really do know it—so,
ye! (Melia selects a cup and saucer, as the simplest solution of the jest for once, I ain't no objection. (Joe pricks the garter.) Yes,
problem.) I doan't carl that mooch of a show for fippence, I doan't. you've found the middle, sure enough ! It's a good job there was
Theer, _gi' us 'old on it. [He stows the china away in his side-pockets, no money on—for me, leastwise!
Melia. You took an' 'urried me so—else I don't know as I fancied The Sp.-F. M. I 've a good mind to 'ave another try.
a cup and sarcer so partickler. I wonder if the man 'ud change it, The Sm. Y. M. I wouldn't. You'll lose. I could see you on'y
supposin' we was to go back and ast 'im ! guessed the first time. {The Sp. F. M., however, extracts a shilling,
Joe {slapping his thigh). Well, you are a gell and no mistake! stakes it—and loses.) There, 2" could ha' told you you was wrong
Come along back and git whatever 'tis you've a mind to. {Return- i —{To Joe)—couldn't you ?
ing.) 'Ere, Master, will ye gi' this young woman summat else for this Joe. Yes, he art to ha' pricked moor to waun side of 'un. {The
'ere ? {He extracts the cup in fragments.) 'Ullo, look a' that now! , Sp.-F. M. stakes another florin.) Now he's done it, if ye like !
{To Melia.) Theer, it's all right—doan't take on 'bout it.—I'll 'ave O. B. F. There, ye see, I'm as often wrong as not myself,
another go to make it oop. {He pitches ball after ball without success.)'] {To the Sp.-F. M.) There's your four bob, Sir. Now, jest once
I wawn't be bett. I lay I '11 git 'un in afoor I've done ! {He is at | more!
ALL ROUND THE FAIR.
No. I.
Scene—A street of Gingerbread, Sioeetstuff, and Toy-stalls, "Cocoa-
nut Shies," "Box-pitching Saloons," §c, ' forming the ap-
proach to the more festive portion of the Fair, from which
proceeds a cheerful cacophony of oi'chestrions, barrel-organs,
steam-whistles, gongs, big drums, rattles, and speaking-
trumpets.
Proprietors of Cocoa-nut Shies. Now, then, play up all o' you—
ar-har! There goes another on 'em ! That's the way to 'it 'em-
win all yer like, &c.
A Rival Proprietor {pointing to his target, through the centre of
which his partner's head is protruded). Look at that! Ain't that
better nor any coker-nut ? Every time you 'it my mate's 'ed, you
humanity.) 'Ere, 'are a go at 'im, some o' you—give 'im a little
encouragement!
The Head {plaintively). Don't neglect a man as is doing his best
last successful.) Theer—now, ye can please yourself, and doan't
choose nawthen' foolish this time ! {He strolls on with lordly indif-
ference, and is presently rejoined byMelia.) Well, what did ye take
arter all ?
Melia. I got so flustered like, for fear o' losin' you, I just up and
took the first that came 'andy.
Joe. Why, if ye ain't bin and took another cup an' sarcer ! hor—
hor ! that's a good 'un, that is! Take keer on it, it's cost money
enough any 'ow—'t wouldn't be no bargain if it wur a 'ole tea-set!
What's goin' on 'ere ?
\_A venerable old Sportsman, whom the reader may possibly re-
collect having met before, has collected a small crowd in a
convenient corner ; his stock-in-trade consists of an innocent-
looking basket, with a linen-covet; upon which are a
sharpened skewer and a narrow strip of cloth.
The Sportsman. I'll undertake to show you more fun in five
git a good cigar ! {As the bystanders hang back, from motives of' minutes, than you '11 get over there in two : {with a vague suspicion
that this is rather a lame conclusion)—in ten, I should say! This 'ere's
a simple enough little game, when you know the trick of it, and I'm
on'y a leamirC it myself. I ain't doin' this for money. I got money
to please yer, gen'l'men I) A enough to sink a ship—it's
soft-hearted Bystander takes M on'y for my own amusement.
a shot at him, out of sheer ^sgt* w Now you watch me a doin' up
compassion, and misses.) Try I^Mi^M *l this garter—keep yer eye on it.
agen, Sir. I ain't 'ere to be flilPlillPc co^s UP ^xe t^r%P') ^
idle ^^^^ %^L~y-^m\ ^oes UP 'ere> ye see' an^ down
A Sharp Little Girl {pre- -= .._____________'—~"~ JBct^8! I there, and in 'ere agin, and
siding over a sloping Chinese ^UK)!'^^^ then round. Now, I'm ready
Billiard - board). Now, my '^V^^sf&H^^^^^S. *° ^et anything from a sove-
dears—(To a group of boys, p V i^^mi^^^^^K p1 reign to a shilling, nobody
of about her oivn age)—'ave <■—"' i^MBaMg^^^^ & ptiV! 'ere can prick the middle,
what yer like. A penny a c*^JLv V- ^ '—f^r^M^BSma^^^^M^K #N/ I'11 tell ye if ye win. I'm ole
pull, and a prize every time ! ^^V!5^^^^^^^^^j^^j^mb^^bW^^m^ |IS3.\)'"I im Billy F airplay, and I don't
Wherever the marble rolls, ' i^^S^^^^^S^^V^4ftffi~ " MW cheat! {A Spotty-faced Man,
you 'ave any one article on Mf^hx ^^\f|ilp*" VBB^B^^^a^^^^v ^"'" jft#:' after intently following the
the board! -Wa /I ^^^^BMM™m&Wm^^M^\ process, says he believes he
[One of the boys pays a . • ^r^^^^WHBHBffll^^^^^mlft could find the middle.) Well,
penny, and pulls a handle, —y?;?- ^ ^WHH^^^^^^^R/\ | don't tell—that's all. I'm
propelling a marble, which, "-• M^KK^mMmnM^WmMy f 'ere all alone, agin the lot o'
after striking a bell at the H --^^^^^C^" j; I ye, and I want to win if I
top of the slope, wobbles ' 1 >^^0^^ llm^K^^^MIMUf/M/\ I / can—one dog to a bone ! ( The
down into a compartment. ^-—mBSnKKSSSaMWl^^} \f S.-F. M. produces a florin
The Boy {indicating a gar- z_rz^-£^=^Z---\fn^ <vi ^ from a mouldy purse, and
geous china ornament on the ! - ^^^^^SmHfjKp v/ Mlf\ stakes it, and makes a dab at
board). I '11 'ave one o' them— j —" j^f^^K-----— lIllI^BHrlr JmIwMH- \ ^e co^ w^ s^ewer-) No,
to take'ome to mother. j j tm%2$B&f K< 7tilWill \ vc're wrong—that's outside !
The S. L. G. {with pitying """" MI&£B\ ft l\\Mw \ (0. B. F. pulls the strip out.)
superiority). No, my boy, you | fm, ^m^^^, \ i if '' I'll X By Gum, ye've done it, after
can go to a shop and buy one J ——■ 1 1 ; ( ? a^' '^re 's four bob for you,
o' them for sixpence if vou r>|^fe^Pi^^^m\ =?2:?^ Wp^m&k I WarL^1 'm every as pleased
like-but We you must 'ave ^SfflBf^'jRv A y^lMT^JipHHB I Im ( as if I'd won myself! 'Oo'll
what you git! ^mm*W^W.<M\ *T ^^B'1 fli|i\ 1 try next?
[She awards him a very dingy j />,, ^ 1^^^^ Mh j A Smart Young Man {with
lead-pencil, with which he , , imiMlffi Hffii il a brilliant pin in a dii'ty neck-
departs, abashed, and evi- l\ j , i^^^p^i iMll/ ^° J°E)- 1 don't see how
dently revolving her dark yy , lttj|„ "'W jmfmM\ W^I&W* it's done—do you ?
saying in his perplexed 1 /rra'S^^I^^ Hm \\ Ye will if you don't
mma\ ^^^^^^S' f%\ / take yer eyes off it—theer, I
Proprietor of a Box-pitching Saloon. One penny a ball! 'at^---^^^^' M j could tell ye the middle now,
For hevery ball that goes in the boxes, you choose any prize ,,rp / I could.
you like! {With sorrow and sympathy, to a female Com- %'m- >/ / (p^?n TAe Sp.-F. M. Law, yes,
petitor.) Too 'ard, Lady, too 'ard! {To a male Comp., ^ j ' ' ^^^^ simP^e enough. I done
whose ball has struck the edge of the box, and bounced off.) ■ , „ it first time.
Very near, Sir! thon> Plu-V UP> a11 « you-ar-har! ow B F Give an old man
[Several Competitors expend penny after penny unsuccessfully, i a chance to get a bit. If any party 'ere 'as found me out, let him
and walk away, with a grin of entire satisfaction. j 'old 'is tongue—it 's all I ask. {To Joe.) You've seen this afore,
Joe {landing a ball in one of the boxes, after four failures). I told /know !
'ee I'd pet waun in! {To his Young Woman.) What are ye goin' Joe. Noa, I ain't—but I could tell ye th' middle,
to 'avo; Melia? _ Old B. F. Will ye bet on it? Come—not too 'igh, but just to
Melia {hovering undecidedly over a glittering array of shell-boxes, show you've confidence in your opinion!
cheap photograph-albums and crockery). I '11 take one o'-no, I Joe {cautiously). I woant bet wi' ye, but I '11 hcv a try, just for
won't neither. . . I really don't know what to 'ave ! nawthen, if ye like!
Joe {with masculine impatience). Well, go on—take summat, can't Old B. F. Well, I want to see if you really do know it—so,
ye! (Melia selects a cup and saucer, as the simplest solution of the jest for once, I ain't no objection. (Joe pricks the garter.) Yes,
problem.) I doan't carl that mooch of a show for fippence, I doan't. you've found the middle, sure enough ! It's a good job there was
Theer, _gi' us 'old on it. [He stows the china away in his side-pockets, no money on—for me, leastwise!
Melia. You took an' 'urried me so—else I don't know as I fancied The Sp.-F. M. I 've a good mind to 'ave another try.
a cup and sarcer so partickler. I wonder if the man 'ud change it, The Sm. Y. M. I wouldn't. You'll lose. I could see you on'y
supposin' we was to go back and ast 'im ! guessed the first time. {The Sp. F. M., however, extracts a shilling,
Joe {slapping his thigh). Well, you are a gell and no mistake! stakes it—and loses.) There, 2" could ha' told you you was wrong
Come along back and git whatever 'tis you've a mind to. {Return- i —{To Joe)—couldn't you ?
ing.) 'Ere, Master, will ye gi' this young woman summat else for this Joe. Yes, he art to ha' pricked moor to waun side of 'un. {The
'ere ? {He extracts the cup in fragments.) 'Ullo, look a' that now! , Sp.-F. M. stakes another florin.) Now he's done it, if ye like !
{To Melia.) Theer, it's all right—doan't take on 'bout it.—I'll 'ave O. B. F. There, ye see, I'm as often wrong as not myself,
another go to make it oop. {He pitches ball after ball without success.)'] {To the Sp.-F. M.) There's your four bob, Sir. Now, jest once
I wawn't be bett. I lay I '11 git 'un in afoor I've done ! {He is at | more!