Punch (103.1892)

238

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 19, 1892.

NATURE AND ART.

A.M.A. "By George, this View's magnificent ! I sat, Fluffer, you beally ought

to have those woods painted."

Mr. Fluffer (late in the Upholstery line, retired.) f"M—m. Do you think that would
improve 'em ? What Colour, now ?"

LEFT TO THE LADIES.

My dear Mr. Punch,

Everyone—I mean everyone with
a right mind—will sympathise with those
nice people at Bristol who have been holding'
a "Woman's Conference." So kind and
thoughtful of them, isn't it? I notice that
Lady Battebsea gave a spirited account of a
Confederation of Temperance of some thirty
villages in Norfolk. The dear, good inhabi-
tants are to keep off the allurements of drink
by " listening to such shining lights as Canon
Wilbebfobce, and social teas, processions
with banners, and magic-lanterns, play their
part." _ How they are to listen to the teas,
processions and lanterns, I don't quite under-
stand, in spite of the fact that they (the
aforesaid teas, &c.) seem to be " playing their

parts." Evidently teas, &c, are amateur
Actors.

Then somebody who described herself as
"a nobody from nowhere," is said to have
"touched a moving chord, as she spoke with
great feeling of the sympathy and the moral
help the poor give back to those who work
among them." What "moving chord P"
Sounds like a bell-rope !

Then another lady who wore "the black
and lavender dress of the Sisters of the
People," followed with a paper, "perhaps
overfull of details." And here let me say
that I am quoting from "a woman corre-
respondent " who seems to be full of admira-
tion for her talking sisters. But in spite of
this admiration, she knows their little faults.
For instance, she describes a speech as
"vigorous, racy, and perhaps a trifle sen-

sational." Then, when someone else delivered
an " address to educated mothers," she says
that it excited deep interest, and " almost too
many educated mothers threw themselves
into the discussion that followed."

Then she observes, "It was disappointing
that Lady Abebdeen was at the last moment
forbidden by her Doctor to undertake the
long journey from Scotland." So it was,
most disappointing; and " at the last
moment," too!

Then she announces that " Some ladies
expressed a feeling, that introducing young
men and women in business to each other,
when assembled in their hundreds at Prince's
Hall, was an office fraught with considerable
responsibility." To be sure ! Great respon-
sibility ! Might even be improper 1 Every-
one should be so careful!

However, there was one good thing in this
Woman's Conference that everyone will
praise. The delightful, genial, charitable
females seem to have kept to themselves.
No men were present. What a blessing—/or
the men ! Yours gratefully,

An Old Bachelob.

The Growleries, Lostbuttonbury, Singleton.

CHEISTMAS IS COMING !

"When the ruddy autumn leaves
Flutter down on golden sheaves,
And on plum-trees one perceives

No more plums—
All the swallows have not fled,
Hardly is the summer dead—
Then, alas, it must be said

Christmas comes!

Christmas! Hang it all! But how
Can that be ? 'Tis weeks from now.
What a fearful thought, I vow

That it numbs!
" Order Christmas papers " Alls
Bookshops, bookstalls. With its bills,
Taxes, tips, fogs, frosts, coughs, chills,

Christmas comes!

Even Christmas-cards appear,
They are with us half the year,
I would banish them from here,

Say. to Thrums,
Or to any mournful place,
Where I'd never show my face,
For they tell one that, apace,

Christmas comes <

Seasonable Chbtstmas Motto for Well-
known Fine-AbtPublishebs.—" Tuck in!"