DOI issue:
November 26, 1892
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0249
244
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 26, 1892.
ALL ROUND THE FAIR.
No. II.
Inside the "Queen's Grand Collection oe Moving "Waxworks
and Lions, and Museum Department of Foreign Wonders
and Novelties."
The majority of the Public is still outside, listening open-mouthed to
Majisty the Queen, as she appeared in 'er 'appier and younger days,
surrounded by the late Mr. Spurgeon, the 'Eroes of the Soudan, and
other Members of the lloyal Fam'ly.
Inside the Circus.
After some tight-rope, juggling, and boneless performances have been
given in the very limited arena, the Clown has introduced the
Learned Pony.
Clown. Now, little Pony, go round the Company and pick me out
a comic dialogue between the Showman and a juvenile and tfie little boy as robs the Farmer's orchard.
irreverent Nigger. Those who have come in find that with the j [Tne pony trots rounar, and thrusts his nose confidently into a Small
exception of some particularly tame-looking murderers heads in Boy's face.
glazed pigeon-holes, a few limp effigies stuck up on rickety] Small Boy (indignantly). Ye 're a liar, Powney ; so theer !
ledges, and an elderly Cart-horse in low spirits, there is little to Clown. Now, see if you can find me the little gal as steals her
see at present. ^ i mother's jam and sugar. Look sharp now, don't stand there playin'
Melia {to Joe, as they inspect the Cart-horse). This 'ere can't never \ with yer bit!
be the live 'orse with five legs, as they said was to be seen inside ! A Little Girl {penitently, as the Accusing Quadruped halts in
Joe. Theer ain't no other 'orse in 'ere, and why shouldn't it be front of her). Oh, please, Pony, I won't never do it no more!
'im, if that's all ? Clown. Now go round and pick me out the Young Man as is fond
Melia. Well, I don't make out no more 'nfour legs to'un, nohow, o' kissin' the girls and married ladies when their 'usbands is out
myself. o' the way. {The Pony stops before an Infant in Arms.) 'Ere,
Joe. Don't ye be in sech a'urry, now—the Show ain't begun yet! think what yer doin' now. You don't mean 'im, do you? {The
{The barrel-organ outside blares God Save the .Queen," and more 1 Pony shakes his head.) Is it the Young Man standin' just beyind
Spectators come stumping down the as is fond o'kissin'the girls ? {The Pony
wooden steps, followed by the Showman. /^^^^ nods.) Ah, I thought so !
Showman. I shell commence this Exhi- JPt^ t& ^e ^us^c Lothario {with a broad grin).
bition by inviting your inspection of the JB||p^ -1| It's quoite tri-ew!
wonderful live 'orse with five legs. {To mfi^fPNtlt Clown. Now I want you, little Pony, to
the depressed Cart-horse.) 'Old up! {The W^lfeHs. 'v £° roun(l and tell me who's the biggest
poor beast lifts his off-fore-leg ivith obvious f rogue in the company. {Reassuringly, as
reluctance, and discloses a very small super- K&miPy,Isk P°ny 9oes round, and a certain uneasi-
numerary hoof concealed behind the fet- *dm&^&r Jykft** ness is perceptible among some of the spec-
lock.) Examine iti for yourselves—two ^i^^^^^^W^^^^^^ tators). I 'ope no Gentleman 'ere will be
distinct 'oofs with shoes and nails complete ------^"il^^^^^^Mral^^^^^r'"""1^ offended by bein' singled out, for no
—a great novelty ! ':^^^^WMo^W^^mM^^^^^^^^'^~': °®ence ^s intended,—it is merely a 'arm-
Melia. I don't call that nothen of a leg, ^^^^^^^^^M^mm^M^^^^jiiZ^L less- {Finds the Pony at his elbow.)
I don't—it ain't 'ardly a oof, even ! l^^^Ai-isa.*- Why, you rascal! do you mean to say J'm
Joe {with phlegm). That's wheer th' old ^-^^mM^^^^mm^w^^M*'^^^ the biggest rogue 'ere? {The Pony nods.)
'orse gits the larf on ye, that is! ///.; 4 ^^m^^m^M^^^^^^^^//^ You've been round, and can't find a
Showman. We will now pass on to the //■//, m^^^^mSmS^^^V^^^-\ bigger rogue than me in all this company ?
Exhibition, 'Ere {indicating a pair of //.//'//, ^^^^^ffi^w|^^HHWm^^^^i {Emphatic shake of the head from Pony;
lop-sided Orientals in nondescript attire) ///•'0///W^^^J§S^W'^^^m^^^^^^^m secret relief of inner circle of Spectators.)
we 'ave two life-sized models of the {■'/'//,> /^mM/W/^^^^^^^^^^M^^^P) Y"ou and me'11 settle this later!
Japanese villagers who caused so much //////// ^^U^^^r^^^r^^S'^:^^W First Spectator {as audience disperses).
sensation in London on account o' their '/////// W^-^^^^^-^J^^^^/f^ That wur a clever Pony, sart'nly!
peculiar features—you will easily recker- WZ^*t\ ^^^^^11 Second Sped. Ah, he wur that. {Reflec-
nise the female by her bein' the ugliest one agsajJaM^N^sV MPjP ipMp^- tively.) I dunno as I shud keer partickler
o' the two. {Compassionate titters from Igs&w/^/' $,t / |$p=r~ 'bout 'avin of 'im, though !
the Spectators.) I will now call your M0k;/f£,///WHUtti* V>Nfe In the Home of Mystery.
attention to a splendid group, taken from ^mMBmf^'M/W.^mml^n f*Ss:_M\ A ?? , ., . T , .
English 'Istry, and set in motion by ^^^Mmm^Mm\%^\tK' small canvas booth with a raised plat-
powerful machinery, repperesentin' the X^B^»^?'f lW V form on which a loung Woman m
Parting Interview of Charles the First ^^Mi^Kli I / V s)ort has JU-st Pf/f1^a few
with his fam'ly. {Rolls up a painted 9i^P^NPl P / elementary conjurmg tricks before an
canvas curtain, and reveals the Monarch ' W/W A H!| P audience of gaping Rustics,
seated, with the Duke of Gloucester on " It's ouoite tri-ew ! " ^l0wman- The Second Part of our
his knee, surrounded by Oliver Cromwell,
and as many Courtiers, Guards, and Maids of Honour as can be
accommodated in the limited space.) I will wind up the machinery
and the unfortunate King will be seen in the act of bidding his fam'ly
ajew for ever in this world.
[Charles begins to click solemnly and move his head by progressive
jerks to the right, while the Little Duke moves his simultaneously
to the left, and a Courtier in the background is so affected by the
scene that he points with respectful sympathy at nothing ; the
Spectators do not commit themselves to any comments.
Showman {concluding a quotation from Markham). "And the
little Dook, with the tears a-standin' in 'is heyes, replies, ' I will be
tore in pieces fust!' Other side, please! No, Mum, the lady in
mournin' ain't the beautiful but ill-fated Mary, Queen o' Scots—it's
Mrs. Mayprick, now in confinement for poisonin' her 'usban', and the
figger close to her is the Mahdi, or False Prophet. In the next case
we 'ave a subject selected from Ancient Roman 'Istry, bein' the story
of Androcles, the Roman Slave, as he appeared when, escaping from
his crule owners, he entered a cave and found a lion which persented
'im with 'is bleedin' paw. After some 'esitation, Androcles examined
the paw, as repperesented before you. (Winds the machinery up,
whereupon the lion opens his lower jaw and emits a mild bleat, while
Androcles turns his head from side to side in bland surprise.) This
lion is the largest forestbred and blackmaned specimen ever imported
into this country—the other lion standing beyind {disparagingly), has
nothing whatever to do with the tableau, 'aving been shot recently
in Africa by Mr. Stanley, the two figgers at thejside repperesent the
Boy Murderers who killed their own father at Crewe with a 'atchet
and other 'orrible barbarities. I shall conclude the Collection by
showing you the magnificent group repperesentin' Her Gracious
Entertainment will consist of the perform-
ances of a Real Live Zulu from the Westminster Royal Aquarium.
Mr. Farini, in the course of 'is travels, discovered both men and
women—and this is one of them. {Here a tall Zulu, simply
attired in a leopard's-skin apron, a bead necklace, and an old busby,
creeps through the hangings at the back.) He will give you a speci-
men of the strange and remarkable dances in his country, showin'
you the funny way in which they git married—for they don't git
married over there the same as we do 'ere—ccrt'n'ly not! {The
Spectators form a close ring round the Zulu.) Give him a little more
room, or else you won't notice the funny way he moves his legs while
dancin'.
{The ring widens a very little, and contracts again, while the
Zulu performs a perfunctory prance to the monotonous jingle
of his brass anklets.
Melia {critically). Well, that's the silliest sort of a weddin' as iver
J see!
Joe. He do seem to be 'avin' it a good deal to 'isself, don't 'e ?
Showman. He will now conclude 'is entertainment by porsin
round, and those who would like to shake 'ands with 'im are welcome
to do so, while at the same time, those among you who would like to
give 'im a extry copper for 'isself you will 'ave an opportunity of
noticin' the funny way in which he takes it.
Spectators {as the Zulu begins to slink round the tent, extending a
huge and tawny paw). 'Ere, come arn!
{The booth is precipitately cleared.
" Write Letter Days" should be the companion volume to Red
Letter Days, published by Bentley.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 26, 1892.
ALL ROUND THE FAIR.
No. II.
Inside the "Queen's Grand Collection oe Moving "Waxworks
and Lions, and Museum Department of Foreign Wonders
and Novelties."
The majority of the Public is still outside, listening open-mouthed to
Majisty the Queen, as she appeared in 'er 'appier and younger days,
surrounded by the late Mr. Spurgeon, the 'Eroes of the Soudan, and
other Members of the lloyal Fam'ly.
Inside the Circus.
After some tight-rope, juggling, and boneless performances have been
given in the very limited arena, the Clown has introduced the
Learned Pony.
Clown. Now, little Pony, go round the Company and pick me out
a comic dialogue between the Showman and a juvenile and tfie little boy as robs the Farmer's orchard.
irreverent Nigger. Those who have come in find that with the j [Tne pony trots rounar, and thrusts his nose confidently into a Small
exception of some particularly tame-looking murderers heads in Boy's face.
glazed pigeon-holes, a few limp effigies stuck up on rickety] Small Boy (indignantly). Ye 're a liar, Powney ; so theer !
ledges, and an elderly Cart-horse in low spirits, there is little to Clown. Now, see if you can find me the little gal as steals her
see at present. ^ i mother's jam and sugar. Look sharp now, don't stand there playin'
Melia {to Joe, as they inspect the Cart-horse). This 'ere can't never \ with yer bit!
be the live 'orse with five legs, as they said was to be seen inside ! A Little Girl {penitently, as the Accusing Quadruped halts in
Joe. Theer ain't no other 'orse in 'ere, and why shouldn't it be front of her). Oh, please, Pony, I won't never do it no more!
'im, if that's all ? Clown. Now go round and pick me out the Young Man as is fond
Melia. Well, I don't make out no more 'nfour legs to'un, nohow, o' kissin' the girls and married ladies when their 'usbands is out
myself. o' the way. {The Pony stops before an Infant in Arms.) 'Ere,
Joe. Don't ye be in sech a'urry, now—the Show ain't begun yet! think what yer doin' now. You don't mean 'im, do you? {The
{The barrel-organ outside blares God Save the .Queen," and more 1 Pony shakes his head.) Is it the Young Man standin' just beyind
Spectators come stumping down the as is fond o'kissin'the girls ? {The Pony
wooden steps, followed by the Showman. /^^^^ nods.) Ah, I thought so !
Showman. I shell commence this Exhi- JPt^ t& ^e ^us^c Lothario {with a broad grin).
bition by inviting your inspection of the JB||p^ -1| It's quoite tri-ew!
wonderful live 'orse with five legs. {To mfi^fPNtlt Clown. Now I want you, little Pony, to
the depressed Cart-horse.) 'Old up! {The W^lfeHs. 'v £° roun(l and tell me who's the biggest
poor beast lifts his off-fore-leg ivith obvious f rogue in the company. {Reassuringly, as
reluctance, and discloses a very small super- K&miPy,Isk P°ny 9oes round, and a certain uneasi-
numerary hoof concealed behind the fet- *dm&^&r Jykft** ness is perceptible among some of the spec-
lock.) Examine iti for yourselves—two ^i^^^^^^W^^^^^^ tators). I 'ope no Gentleman 'ere will be
distinct 'oofs with shoes and nails complete ------^"il^^^^^^Mral^^^^^r'"""1^ offended by bein' singled out, for no
—a great novelty ! ':^^^^WMo^W^^mM^^^^^^^^'^~': °®ence ^s intended,—it is merely a 'arm-
Melia. I don't call that nothen of a leg, ^^^^^^^^^M^mm^M^^^^jiiZ^L less- {Finds the Pony at his elbow.)
I don't—it ain't 'ardly a oof, even ! l^^^Ai-isa.*- Why, you rascal! do you mean to say J'm
Joe {with phlegm). That's wheer th' old ^-^^mM^^^^mm^w^^M*'^^^ the biggest rogue 'ere? {The Pony nods.)
'orse gits the larf on ye, that is! ///.; 4 ^^m^^m^M^^^^^^^^//^ You've been round, and can't find a
Showman. We will now pass on to the //■//, m^^^^mSmS^^^V^^^-\ bigger rogue than me in all this company ?
Exhibition, 'Ere {indicating a pair of //.//'//, ^^^^^ffi^w|^^HHWm^^^^i {Emphatic shake of the head from Pony;
lop-sided Orientals in nondescript attire) ///•'0///W^^^J§S^W'^^^m^^^^^^^m secret relief of inner circle of Spectators.)
we 'ave two life-sized models of the {■'/'//,> /^mM/W/^^^^^^^^^^M^^^P) Y"ou and me'11 settle this later!
Japanese villagers who caused so much //////// ^^U^^^r^^^r^^S'^:^^W First Spectator {as audience disperses).
sensation in London on account o' their '/////// W^-^^^^^-^J^^^^/f^ That wur a clever Pony, sart'nly!
peculiar features—you will easily recker- WZ^*t\ ^^^^^11 Second Sped. Ah, he wur that. {Reflec-
nise the female by her bein' the ugliest one agsajJaM^N^sV MPjP ipMp^- tively.) I dunno as I shud keer partickler
o' the two. {Compassionate titters from Igs&w/^/' $,t / |$p=r~ 'bout 'avin of 'im, though !
the Spectators.) I will now call your M0k;/f£,///WHUtti* V>Nfe In the Home of Mystery.
attention to a splendid group, taken from ^mMBmf^'M/W.^mml^n f*Ss:_M\ A ?? , ., . T , .
English 'Istry, and set in motion by ^^^Mmm^Mm\%^\tK' small canvas booth with a raised plat-
powerful machinery, repperesentin' the X^B^»^?'f lW V form on which a loung Woman m
Parting Interview of Charles the First ^^Mi^Kli I / V s)ort has JU-st Pf/f1^a few
with his fam'ly. {Rolls up a painted 9i^P^NPl P / elementary conjurmg tricks before an
canvas curtain, and reveals the Monarch ' W/W A H!| P audience of gaping Rustics,
seated, with the Duke of Gloucester on " It's ouoite tri-ew ! " ^l0wman- The Second Part of our
his knee, surrounded by Oliver Cromwell,
and as many Courtiers, Guards, and Maids of Honour as can be
accommodated in the limited space.) I will wind up the machinery
and the unfortunate King will be seen in the act of bidding his fam'ly
ajew for ever in this world.
[Charles begins to click solemnly and move his head by progressive
jerks to the right, while the Little Duke moves his simultaneously
to the left, and a Courtier in the background is so affected by the
scene that he points with respectful sympathy at nothing ; the
Spectators do not commit themselves to any comments.
Showman {concluding a quotation from Markham). "And the
little Dook, with the tears a-standin' in 'is heyes, replies, ' I will be
tore in pieces fust!' Other side, please! No, Mum, the lady in
mournin' ain't the beautiful but ill-fated Mary, Queen o' Scots—it's
Mrs. Mayprick, now in confinement for poisonin' her 'usban', and the
figger close to her is the Mahdi, or False Prophet. In the next case
we 'ave a subject selected from Ancient Roman 'Istry, bein' the story
of Androcles, the Roman Slave, as he appeared when, escaping from
his crule owners, he entered a cave and found a lion which persented
'im with 'is bleedin' paw. After some 'esitation, Androcles examined
the paw, as repperesented before you. (Winds the machinery up,
whereupon the lion opens his lower jaw and emits a mild bleat, while
Androcles turns his head from side to side in bland surprise.) This
lion is the largest forestbred and blackmaned specimen ever imported
into this country—the other lion standing beyind {disparagingly), has
nothing whatever to do with the tableau, 'aving been shot recently
in Africa by Mr. Stanley, the two figgers at thejside repperesent the
Boy Murderers who killed their own father at Crewe with a 'atchet
and other 'orrible barbarities. I shall conclude the Collection by
showing you the magnificent group repperesentin' Her Gracious
Entertainment will consist of the perform-
ances of a Real Live Zulu from the Westminster Royal Aquarium.
Mr. Farini, in the course of 'is travels, discovered both men and
women—and this is one of them. {Here a tall Zulu, simply
attired in a leopard's-skin apron, a bead necklace, and an old busby,
creeps through the hangings at the back.) He will give you a speci-
men of the strange and remarkable dances in his country, showin'
you the funny way in which they git married—for they don't git
married over there the same as we do 'ere—ccrt'n'ly not! {The
Spectators form a close ring round the Zulu.) Give him a little more
room, or else you won't notice the funny way he moves his legs while
dancin'.
{The ring widens a very little, and contracts again, while the
Zulu performs a perfunctory prance to the monotonous jingle
of his brass anklets.
Melia {critically). Well, that's the silliest sort of a weddin' as iver
J see!
Joe. He do seem to be 'avin' it a good deal to 'isself, don't 'e ?
Showman. He will now conclude 'is entertainment by porsin
round, and those who would like to shake 'ands with 'im are welcome
to do so, while at the same time, those among you who would like to
give 'im a extry copper for 'isself you will 'ave an opportunity of
noticin' the funny way in which he takes it.
Spectators {as the Zulu begins to slink round the tent, extending a
huge and tawny paw). 'Ere, come arn!
{The booth is precipitately cleared.
" Write Letter Days" should be the companion volume to Red
Letter Days, published by Bentley.