Punch (103.1892)

246 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 26, 1892.

FELINE AMENITIES.

" i 'vb brought yott some lace for your stall at the bazaar, llzzie. i *m afraid it 's not quite old enough to be
really valuable. i had it when i was a little glrl."

"Oh, t/mt's Old enough for anything, dearest! How lovely! Thanks so yery much!"

LE GRAND ERANOAIS,

[" With all his faults, M. de Lbsseps is perhaps
the most remarkable -we may even say the most
ill ustrious—of living Frenchmen."—The Times.]

Jacques Bonhomme loquitur:—

Someone should suffer—yes, of course—
For the depletion of my stocking';

But Le Grand Frangais ? Bah ! Remorse
Moves me to tears. It seems too shocking*.

Get back my money ? Pas de chance!

And then he is the pride of France!

I raged, I know, four years ago,
Against those Panama projectors.

The law seemed slack, inquiry slow;
How I denounced them, the Directors,

Including him—in some vague fashion ;

But then—Bonhomme was in a passion !

And now to see the gendarme's hand—
Half shrinkingly—upon his shoulder,

Our (/rand Frangais—so old, so grand!
Ma foi, it palsies the beholder.

And will it lessen my large loss

To fix a fetain on the Grand Cross ?

Too sanguine ? Too seductive ? Yes!

But was it not such hopeful charming
That led him to his old success ?

The thought is softening, and disarming ;
O'er Suez and the lied Sea glance,
And see what he has done for France I

Teste on this Panama affair !

Egyptian sands sucked not our savings
As did those swamps. Still I can't bear

To see him suffer. 'Midst my cravings
For la revanche, I'd fain not touch
Our Greatest Frenchman—'tis too much !

SHORT AND SWEET.

["The Young Ladies of Nottingham have formed
a Short-skirt League."—Daily Graphic.']

Ye pretty girls of England,

So famous for your looks,
Whose sense has braved a thousand fads

Of foolish fashion-books,
Your glorious standard launch again

To match another foe,
And refrain
From the train

While the stormy tempests blow,
While the sodden streets are thick with mud,

And the stormy tempests blow!

See how the girls of Nottingham

Inaugurate a League
For skirts five inches from the ground ;

They '11 walk without fatigue,
No longer plagued with trains to lift

Above the slush or snow;

They '11 not sweep
Mud that's deep

While the stormy tempests blow ;
Lone: dresses do the Vestry's work,

While stormy tempests blow.

0 pretty girls of Nottingham,

If you could save us men
From our frightful clothing,

How we should love you then I
We'd shorten turned-up trouser,

And widen pointed toe,

Leave off that ]
Vile silk hat,

When the stormy tempests blow—
Wretched hat that stands not wind or rain

When the stormy tempests blow.

We 're fools. Yet, girls of England,

We might inquire of you,
Why wear those capes and sleeves that seem

(luite wide enough for two P
And why revive the chignons—

Huge lumps pinned on ? You know
You would cry
Should they fly

Where the stormy tempests blow ;
For they catch the wind just like balloons,

Where the stormy tempests blow.

Faults o' Both Sides.—Ardent Radicals
grumbled at the Government for not holding
an Autumn Session. That was a fault of
omission. Now touchy Tories are angry with
it for showing too strong a tendency to what
Mr. Gladstone once sarcastically called "a
policy of examination and inquiry"—into the
case of Evicted Tenants, Poor-Law Relief,
&c. This is a fault of (Royal) Commission.
Luckless Government! The verdict upon it
seems to be that it

" Does nothing in particular,
And does it very—ill.1'

Notice.—The Twin Fountains of Trafalgar
Square regret to inform the British Public
that, although they have performed gratui-
tously and continuously for a number of years,
they are compelled to retire from business, as
they cannot compete with the State-aided
spouting which takes place in their Square.

A Great "Tke.vt."—Public-houseTolitics
at Election time.