DOI Heft:
December 17, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0285
280 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 17, 1892.
« «.., _ r-<-i-r-> ,,,,, Second L. C. {pensively). I expect it's the difference in food that
AT A VEGEiARIAM RESTAURANT. accounts for it. I don't think I could care for a man that ate meat.
Scene-" The Nebuchadnezzar's Head," in the City. Time-The W TO&ob}S *° ^ave a™tluf T?*' dea5? 7,aiT /,w* ^
&mcA«m W. XAe mfenor, 6n>H arcJ tastefully n An Elderly Lady, with short hair and spectacles {to Waitress).
arranged, is crowded with the graminivorous of both sexes, tan you brm? me some epss i"
Clerksof a literary turn devour " The Fortnightly" and porridge _f stress. Certainly, Madam. How would you like them done
alternately, or discuss the comparative merits of modern writers. aKt cocotte. .., ., , ~ , . , ^ .„
Lady-clerks lunch sumptuously and economically on tea and TheA)L; ^Wltl\ sf^ntV\ Certainly not. You will serye them
baked ginger-pudding. Trim Waitresses move about with a respectably dressed,*/ you please!
sweet but ^slightly mystic benignity, as conscious of conducting a Waitress {puzzled). We can giye you "Convent eggs" if you
dietetic mission to the dyspeptic. T>?r -d t t j-^- i
_ _ lhe E. L. V never encourage superstition—poach them.
^4 Vegetarian Fiance" {who has met his betrothed by appointment, \ ~ -. TT , . ,, . L . 7 „ , _ T .
and is initiating her into the mysteries). I wish you'd take some- ] jLnt&r a Vegetarian Enthusiast, with a Neophyte, to whom he is
thing- more than a mustard-and-cress roll, though, Louise—it! playing Amphitryon.
gives you such a poor idea of the thing. > (With honest pride.) j The Veg. Enth. {selecting a table with great care). Always like
Youjust see me put away this plate of porridge. At the "Young j to he near the stove, and out of the draught. (The prettiest JVaitress
Daniel," where 1 usually lunch, they give you twice the quantity ! approaches, and greets him with a sacerdotal sweetness, as one of
of stuff they do here
Louise {admiringly). I'm so glad I've seen you lunch. Now
I shall he able to fancy every day exactly what you are having.
the Faith, while to the Neophyte—whom she detects, at a glance, as
still without the pale—she is severely tolerant.) Now, what are you
going to have ? [Passing him the bill of fare.
Her Fiance^ {to as- _ The Neoph. {in
sist her imagination). XXX„ _j*^ 4 «,,. / /. . ,;- specting the docu-
Mind you, I don't i i M ^Sg^ fi j fc^AT^^l tnent helplessly)
always have porridge. ) i j j zM&zmk® 11II fir 11 If! 1 ** If Well, really, er—I
Sometimes it's mush- — \—X ;■ —r^iiM^i J '—vllftHlX'' 3 qv;7!!j> f think I'd better follow
room croquettes, or X mS&SSm X / If fl! I fl# I ______I your lead.
turnip and onion ris- "') \" j f Sl!HK™jF\' [111 ! i ——————— The Veg. Enth. I
soles, — whatever's j j j mm^^^r'.-'m* Si1!! |mi f ill generally begin with
oing. Now yester- —'- ;"JHl^h }_' )—m'I'I 'il l if ' *!^S&sssb^ a plate oi' Porri(ige
ay, for instance, I __/AMt X. \ 11 'I i f iPi £iS3BBsS&e&i. myself — clears the
tad- I 1 j j till lift 'i I /'j^lM palate, y'know.
[IZe details exactly ! j nHMnf j ] Ij1 :jj ;! "^^J^^^^P^ Neoph. {un-
what he had, and .. .'. /-ImM^m^lniWv __J 1_I fll il nil ^ !: ^^P^^S^W*' pleasantly conscious
she listens to these X M^SBMU^/ V" v|lt ' It j i "t? "' «l§||p <Aa^ it wouldn't clear
moving episodes ' ~j ^^pHSi^^^?/^—7 §' i J j j fczz„ : r"-Z.Jf^~~Z--- his). I'm afraid that,
with the rapt inte- /j^mm^Bnw/^f,///^.Mfo Wl\ \f i fc-i^=-— ^dMBijg|j- - •-- — —~-•■ ■-— at this time of day-
res* o/ a Besde- AfffiSS^\l\v\\ l_7Hr^ ] |§B |' i|U I R ■• / ■■; ■ ^^KSKaSB^^^f^^ to tell you the truth
mona. ^^^MW^SiM^^111 .ll I'7 ';H/iiiHHP'(^?^ desperate can-
First Literary mmriWmmtiWMmm? , , i i, —iJiSil' h T^f ^'^J^^W^BIk^-'^ • f7owr)- I never was a
C/e^. No; but look fillip porridge lover.
here, you don't take I i'ilj IBbW^^^V- *^lili^i^iP^l-UlW if H ^/ii 'l«^^P«H| WfmWKKw^W iTheW&itxe&s regards
mv pom^. I'm not f; jHHHf> \ ' MiiS'Iffil^ia'^Lr. ; "A. Vi!l iC^^:::-!^. llMiB^^ him sorrowfully.
running down Swrx- MMI^'^^^MMBMil , ' .. N| wKKmWM Th« Veg. Enth.
bttrne-alll'margu- f flP^^fifik^l^W •HSflHIwfe ^y! Wholesomest
ing is, he couldn't N flf- r jT#^^^^/f//^ thing you can take,
have written some of ||M # s^^^S^^S^fek Wjlfl'l "*'^Sk^^^K^^mi WmmwMfflh ''$/W More sustenance to
the things Beowjsino | f W '^-^1 W^mHBm, 4M/ the square inch in a
did. li m " " - Wl' ,x ~"Ji^01 L f>'"■/; pint of porridge than
Second L. C. Of |li—JBJLr-^gi:- - 'may ^^/^^^^^l^^^l^^F WmSKnSSK^^/a °^ mutton,
course not — when /if". ' ^rrS^^^X^MX#^^®/^ flmM^^MWW0 However {tolerantly),
Beowxtxg had writ- M^^ ., :X ' ^M^^^%01\^ ''^WMl^WBmmKK^M if you really won't, I
ten them — that's j0m X --'■^^f^^^iW- 4"-'v::^^t^^^KUKKUB^^^^ can recommend the
nothing against him. /s^ll' -v-W:~~ '"; - - ■MZZ? Z-Zl%r~~/''r ' -1 m^MtmBBBBlB^^ ; rice and prunes.
^'rd X. C. :;^lX'';'-f> ^<J^--^X ' Us' #.^#v ^WHB[|^^^»^ The Neoph. {feebly),
{warmly). I'm not K^W^'Sk Xl ' P V' X X<fmmB^^^^^^~-'» I—I'd rather begin
saying it w. I 'm /Xi" W^^m^r^^ f ' ^ \ • Tm^a^f^'^----^ with something a little
telling you the differ- 4 ^'<ZzsA I8^//Jgy| ' ' . lv / more-
ence between the two v • ' 1"^*=»js-' ' Waitress {with a
men—nowBEOWNiNG, <£ ^ ja cocotte ? " sadforehnowledgethat
he makes you / sAe is casting pearls
Second X. C He never made me think, that's all Jknow.
Third L. C. Nor yet me. Now, 'Erbert Spencer, he Joes make
you think, if you like !
XYrsif X. C. Now you 're getting on to something else. The grand
fault I find with Swinburne, is-
Second L. C. Hold hard a bit, Have you read him?
Third X. C. Yes, let's 'ave that first. 'Ave you read 'im ?
First X. C. {with dignity). I've read as much of him as I care to.
Second X. C. {aggressively). What have you read of his ? Name it.
First X. C. I've read his Atlantis in Caledonia, for one thing.
Second X. C. {disappointed). Well, you don't deny there's poetry
in that, do you ?
First X. C. I don't call it poetry in the sense I call Walt Whit-
man poetry—certainly not.
Second L. C. There you touch a wider question—there's no rhyme
in Whitman, to begin with.
First X. C. No more there is in Milton ; but I suppose you '11
admit he's a poet.
[And so on, until none of them is quite sure what he is arguing about
exactly, though each feels he has got decidedly the best of it.
First Lady Clerk {at adjoining table, to Second L. C). How excited
those young men do get, to be sure. I do like to hear them taking
up such intellectual subjects, though. Now, my brothers talk of
nothing but horses, and music-halls, and football, and things like
that.
before a swine). We have "Flageolet Fritters and Cabbage," or
"Parsnip Pie with grilled Potatoes"—both very nice.
The JSieoph. {braving the unknown). I '11 have some of this—er—
" Cinghalese Stew." [He awaits the result in trepidation.
Customer {behind, dictating his bill). " What have I had?" Let
me_ see. Braised turnip and bread sauce, fricassee of carrot and
artichoke, tomato omelette, a jam roll, and a bottle of zoedone.
[The Waitress makes out his voucher accordingly, and awards it to
him, ivith a bright smile of approval and encouragement.
The Enth. V. {who has overheard). A most excellent selection!
That's a man, Sir, who knows how to live! Ha! here's my
porridge. Will you give me some brown sugar with it, please ?
And—{to the N.)—there's your stew—smells good, eh ?
The Neoph. {tasting it, and finding it a cunning compound of
curried bananas and chicory). I—I like the smell—excellent indeed !
[He attacks the stew warily.
The Enth. Veg. {disposing of his porridge). There ! Now I shall
have some lentils and spinach with parsley sauce, and a Welsh
rarebit to follow—and I think that will about do me. Will you—
oh, you haven't finished your stew yet! By the way, what will
you drink ? I don't often indulge in champagne in the middle of
the day ; but it's my birthday—so I think we might venture on a
bottle between us, eh ?
The Neoph. {in whom the Cinghalese Stew has excited a lively
thirst). By all means. I suppose you know the brands here ?
« «.., _ r-<-i-r-> ,,,,, Second L. C. {pensively). I expect it's the difference in food that
AT A VEGEiARIAM RESTAURANT. accounts for it. I don't think I could care for a man that ate meat.
Scene-" The Nebuchadnezzar's Head," in the City. Time-The W TO&ob}S *° ^ave a™tluf T?*' dea5? 7,aiT /,w* ^
&mcA«m W. XAe mfenor, 6n>H arcJ tastefully n An Elderly Lady, with short hair and spectacles {to Waitress).
arranged, is crowded with the graminivorous of both sexes, tan you brm? me some epss i"
Clerksof a literary turn devour " The Fortnightly" and porridge _f stress. Certainly, Madam. How would you like them done
alternately, or discuss the comparative merits of modern writers. aKt cocotte. .., ., , ~ , . , ^ .„
Lady-clerks lunch sumptuously and economically on tea and TheA)L; ^Wltl\ sf^ntV\ Certainly not. You will serye them
baked ginger-pudding. Trim Waitresses move about with a respectably dressed,*/ you please!
sweet but ^slightly mystic benignity, as conscious of conducting a Waitress {puzzled). We can giye you "Convent eggs" if you
dietetic mission to the dyspeptic. T>?r -d t t j-^- i
_ _ lhe E. L. V never encourage superstition—poach them.
^4 Vegetarian Fiance" {who has met his betrothed by appointment, \ ~ -. TT , . ,, . L . 7 „ , _ T .
and is initiating her into the mysteries). I wish you'd take some- ] jLnt&r a Vegetarian Enthusiast, with a Neophyte, to whom he is
thing- more than a mustard-and-cress roll, though, Louise—it! playing Amphitryon.
gives you such a poor idea of the thing. > (With honest pride.) j The Veg. Enth. {selecting a table with great care). Always like
Youjust see me put away this plate of porridge. At the "Young j to he near the stove, and out of the draught. (The prettiest JVaitress
Daniel," where 1 usually lunch, they give you twice the quantity ! approaches, and greets him with a sacerdotal sweetness, as one of
of stuff they do here
Louise {admiringly). I'm so glad I've seen you lunch. Now
I shall he able to fancy every day exactly what you are having.
the Faith, while to the Neophyte—whom she detects, at a glance, as
still without the pale—she is severely tolerant.) Now, what are you
going to have ? [Passing him the bill of fare.
Her Fiance^ {to as- _ The Neoph. {in
sist her imagination). XXX„ _j*^ 4 «,,. / /. . ,;- specting the docu-
Mind you, I don't i i M ^Sg^ fi j fc^AT^^l tnent helplessly)
always have porridge. ) i j j zM&zmk® 11II fir 11 If! 1 ** If Well, really, er—I
Sometimes it's mush- — \—X ;■ —r^iiM^i J '—vllftHlX'' 3 qv;7!!j> f think I'd better follow
room croquettes, or X mS&SSm X / If fl! I fl# I ______I your lead.
turnip and onion ris- "') \" j f Sl!HK™jF\' [111 ! i ——————— The Veg. Enth. I
soles, — whatever's j j j mm^^^r'.-'m* Si1!! |mi f ill generally begin with
oing. Now yester- —'- ;"JHl^h }_' )—m'I'I 'il l if ' *!^S&sssb^ a plate oi' Porri(ige
ay, for instance, I __/AMt X. \ 11 'I i f iPi £iS3BBsS&e&i. myself — clears the
tad- I 1 j j till lift 'i I /'j^lM palate, y'know.
[IZe details exactly ! j nHMnf j ] Ij1 :jj ;! "^^J^^^^P^ Neoph. {un-
what he had, and .. .'. /-ImM^m^lniWv __J 1_I fll il nil ^ !: ^^P^^S^W*' pleasantly conscious
she listens to these X M^SBMU^/ V" v|lt ' It j i "t? "' «l§||p <Aa^ it wouldn't clear
moving episodes ' ~j ^^pHSi^^^?/^—7 §' i J j j fczz„ : r"-Z.Jf^~~Z--- his). I'm afraid that,
with the rapt inte- /j^mm^Bnw/^f,///^.Mfo Wl\ \f i fc-i^=-— ^dMBijg|j- - •-- — —~-•■ ■-— at this time of day-
res* o/ a Besde- AfffiSS^\l\v\\ l_7Hr^ ] |§B |' i|U I R ■• / ■■; ■ ^^KSKaSB^^^f^^ to tell you the truth
mona. ^^^MW^SiM^^111 .ll I'7 ';H/iiiHHP'(^?^ desperate can-
First Literary mmriWmmtiWMmm? , , i i, —iJiSil' h T^f ^'^J^^W^BIk^-'^ • f7owr)- I never was a
C/e^. No; but look fillip porridge lover.
here, you don't take I i'ilj IBbW^^^V- *^lili^i^iP^l-UlW if H ^/ii 'l«^^P«H| WfmWKKw^W iTheW&itxe&s regards
mv pom^. I'm not f; jHHHf> \ ' MiiS'Iffil^ia'^Lr. ; "A. Vi!l iC^^:::-!^. llMiB^^ him sorrowfully.
running down Swrx- MMI^'^^^MMBMil , ' .. N| wKKmWM Th« Veg. Enth.
bttrne-alll'margu- f flP^^fifik^l^W •HSflHIwfe ^y! Wholesomest
ing is, he couldn't N flf- r jT#^^^^/f//^ thing you can take,
have written some of ||M # s^^^S^^S^fek Wjlfl'l "*'^Sk^^^K^^mi WmmwMfflh ''$/W More sustenance to
the things Beowjsino | f W '^-^1 W^mHBm, 4M/ the square inch in a
did. li m " " - Wl' ,x ~"Ji^01 L f>'"■/; pint of porridge than
Second L. C. Of |li—JBJLr-^gi:- - 'may ^^/^^^^^l^^^l^^F WmSKnSSK^^/a °^ mutton,
course not — when /if". ' ^rrS^^^X^MX#^^®/^ flmM^^MWW0 However {tolerantly),
Beowxtxg had writ- M^^ ., :X ' ^M^^^%01\^ ''^WMl^WBmmKK^M if you really won't, I
ten them — that's j0m X --'■^^f^^^iW- 4"-'v::^^t^^^KUKKUB^^^^ can recommend the
nothing against him. /s^ll' -v-W:~~ '"; - - ■MZZ? Z-Zl%r~~/''r ' -1 m^MtmBBBBlB^^ ; rice and prunes.
^'rd X. C. :;^lX'';'-f> ^<J^--^X ' Us' #.^#v ^WHB[|^^^»^ The Neoph. {feebly),
{warmly). I'm not K^W^'Sk Xl ' P V' X X<fmmB^^^^^^~-'» I—I'd rather begin
saying it w. I 'm /Xi" W^^m^r^^ f ' ^ \ • Tm^a^f^'^----^ with something a little
telling you the differ- 4 ^'<ZzsA I8^//Jgy| ' ' . lv / more-
ence between the two v • ' 1"^*=»js-' ' Waitress {with a
men—nowBEOWNiNG, <£ ^ ja cocotte ? " sadforehnowledgethat
he makes you / sAe is casting pearls
Second X. C He never made me think, that's all Jknow.
Third L. C. Nor yet me. Now, 'Erbert Spencer, he Joes make
you think, if you like !
XYrsif X. C. Now you 're getting on to something else. The grand
fault I find with Swinburne, is-
Second L. C. Hold hard a bit, Have you read him?
Third X. C. Yes, let's 'ave that first. 'Ave you read 'im ?
First X. C. {with dignity). I've read as much of him as I care to.
Second X. C. {aggressively). What have you read of his ? Name it.
First X. C. I've read his Atlantis in Caledonia, for one thing.
Second X. C. {disappointed). Well, you don't deny there's poetry
in that, do you ?
First X. C. I don't call it poetry in the sense I call Walt Whit-
man poetry—certainly not.
Second L. C. There you touch a wider question—there's no rhyme
in Whitman, to begin with.
First X. C. No more there is in Milton ; but I suppose you '11
admit he's a poet.
[And so on, until none of them is quite sure what he is arguing about
exactly, though each feels he has got decidedly the best of it.
First Lady Clerk {at adjoining table, to Second L. C). How excited
those young men do get, to be sure. I do like to hear them taking
up such intellectual subjects, though. Now, my brothers talk of
nothing but horses, and music-halls, and football, and things like
that.
before a swine). We have "Flageolet Fritters and Cabbage," or
"Parsnip Pie with grilled Potatoes"—both very nice.
The JSieoph. {braving the unknown). I '11 have some of this—er—
" Cinghalese Stew." [He awaits the result in trepidation.
Customer {behind, dictating his bill). " What have I had?" Let
me_ see. Braised turnip and bread sauce, fricassee of carrot and
artichoke, tomato omelette, a jam roll, and a bottle of zoedone.
[The Waitress makes out his voucher accordingly, and awards it to
him, ivith a bright smile of approval and encouragement.
The Enth. V. {who has overheard). A most excellent selection!
That's a man, Sir, who knows how to live! Ha! here's my
porridge. Will you give me some brown sugar with it, please ?
And—{to the N.)—there's your stew—smells good, eh ?
The Neoph. {tasting it, and finding it a cunning compound of
curried bananas and chicory). I—I like the smell—excellent indeed !
[He attacks the stew warily.
The Enth. Veg. {disposing of his porridge). There ! Now I shall
have some lentils and spinach with parsley sauce, and a Welsh
rarebit to follow—and I think that will about do me. Will you—
oh, you haven't finished your stew yet! By the way, what will
you drink ? I don't often indulge in champagne in the middle of
the day ; but it's my birthday—so I think we might venture on a
bottle between us, eh ?
The Neoph. {in whom the Cinghalese Stew has excited a lively
thirst). By all means. I suppose you know the brands here ?