DOI Heft:
December 17, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0293
288 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 17, 1892.
FKOM PENCIL TO PEN.
(A Story of the Merry Yule-Tide Season.)
Publisher'1 s Sanctum. Publisher and Author
discovered in conference.
Publisher. And so I thought that, perhaps,
with your kind assistance, we might work off
some of the blocks tbat have been left on
our hands under the unfortunate circum-
stances I have just related.
Author. Certainly. Quite easy. You want
to get a Christmas Number out of them. All
right—give me the subjects, and I will just
jot down how they shall be worked in. We
will commence—hero and heroine—say, for
the moment, Edwin and Angelina.
Pub. (look-
ing at pic-
tures). I fancy
this is in-
tended for
somewhere in
the neigh-
bourhood of
the North
Pole. Sailors
surrounded
by white
bears on an
iceberg.
Auth. Yery
good. Ed-
win's father
was an Arctic
explorer.
"Write under
sketch, "The
old man had
For Sail or Return. a ^tart-
nng adven-
ture in the silent land of eternal snow." Go
on.
Pub. Here is, seemingly, a quarrel to the
death, in the time of Charles the Second.
Ball-room, with Cavaliers and their Ladies.
Central group, a fight with swords. Can we
do anything with it?
Auth. Why, certainly. Edwin excites the
jealousy of Angelina's cousin Reginald. The
latter calls out the former at a fancy-dress
dance. Label it—" Captain de Courcy was
too impatient to wait until the ball was over,
but challenged his rival as the company were
on the eve of going down to supper." Drive
on!
Pub. This seems rather a puzzle,—a ship
sinking in mid-ocean.
Auth. The very thing. Edwin having lost
all his money on the Stock Exchange, goes to
Australia for more gold. Label—" The storm
was terrific, and the Belgravia had much diffi-
culty in weathering this gale of almost unpre-
cedented violence." Next, please!
Pub. Why here are some sketches of Yenice,
St. Petersburg, China, and North Wales.
Auth. I can take them en bloc. Edwin and
Angelina, before they return home, go upon a
honeymoon. Work them all in. Anything else ?
Pub. A man being shot by a company of
French soldiers. Is that of any use ?
Auth. First-rate fate for the wicked Regi-
nald. Goes to France during the Franco-
German War as a Special Correspondent, and
is shot as a Prussian spy. Couldn't be better.
Anything else P
Pub. A village crowd looking at a repre-
sentation of "Punch and Judy."
Auth. Obviously a recollection of Edwin's
schooldays. Label it—"Sometimes he would
join the crowd, watching an exhibition of per-
ambulating puppets." Anything else ?
Pub. A man being thrown from his horse
into a brook.
Auth. All right! Angelina first falls in
love with Edwin when nursing him after an
accident in the hunting-field. Label it—
" His horse swerved, and Edwin was thrown
with great violence into the water." Any-
thing else ?
Pub. A man with a dark lantern looking,
I think, at a mile-stone.
Auth. Reginald, before his death in France,
tries to enter burglariously the dwelling-
house of his hated rival. Label—" The mis-
guided wretch paused for a moment while
he examined one of the mile-stones." Any-
thing further ?
Pub. Only two. Which shall we have, a
happy or a wretched ending ?
Auth. Either you please. One's as easy
as the other. What are they ?
Pub. First a man dying in the prairie is
threatened by a vulture.
Auth. Evidently Edwin. You see, we have
already disposed of the wicked cousin. What
is the other ?
Pub. Oh, the conventional thing—bridal
party in a village church. I wish we could
use both.
Auth. So we can. Cut down bridal block,
and punch out enough of sky in prairie to
make room for it. Then give the legend,
'' And Edwin died happily, for in his vision
he saw his love once more as he had hoped
to see her. With his last breath he blessed
her as she stood beside him at the altar."
That will do, and then I can finish off with,
'' Who knows they may not meet again ?
The End."
Pub. And now I want to ask your opinion
about some trade advertisements. I want to
know if we can work them in ?
[Scene closes in upon arrangements of a
business-like character.
THE KISS.
{By a Jubilant Juryman.)
[Kissing the Book is now to be dispensed with as
part of a Juryman's duties.]
Lip to lip is pleasant altogether,
But there is no charm in lip to leather
All the bards who 've sung of osculation,
Down from Ovid to song's last sensation,
Could not lend romance, or even sense,
To the Court's poor labial pretence,
Always meaningless, and most unpleasant.
Here the past is bettered by the present.
Kissing is the due of Love and Beauty,
Dull and dismal when 'tis made mere duty.
Mere lip-loyalty to Love means little—
But to Truth ? 'Tis not worth jot or tittle !
When from lip to lip in cold formality
Passed the grubby cover, in reality
Binding kissing made no oath more binding
Nor more easy Justice's clear finding.
Therefore, thanks to common sense,—long
missing—
That makes obsolete one form of kissing '
11
THERE AND BACK."
First night at Covent Garden of new
Opera, Irmengarda, by Chevalier, not Che-
valier Coster, but Chevalier Emil Bach. In
this plot the women of a besieged city are
allowed to leave it, carrying whatever is most
precious on their backs—but this one Bach
can't carry Irmengarda, which is, however,
not too, too precious, but is supportable. Sir
Druriolantjs Operaticus "gives a Back,"
and it's "Over!"; First Act, while per-
forming, is promising; second very much
after, or behind the first. House full. Every-
body good, specially Yalda and Abramofe.
Mr. Armbruster conducted the Mascagni-
cum-Wagner-&-Co. music. Everybody
happy, specially Bach himself, who was not
backwards in coming forwards, and bowing
his acknowledgments.
By the way, as in Act III. the King enters
"a-riding a-riding," this Opera may be
distinguished from any of Bach's future
works by being called The Horse-bach Opera.
Not to exhaust the punning possibilities in
the name of the composer, it may be in-
cidentally noted that, original and fresh as
every air in this Opera may be, yet this
present work consists entirely of "Bach
Numbers." No more on this subject at
present.
Last week of Opera by night at Covent
Garden, as the Garden is turned into a Race-
course for The Prodigal Daughter's steeple-
chase, and Drury Lane is wanted for the
Pantomime. Sir Druriolantjs has his hands
full—likewise his pockets. " So mote it be! "
TO MY PARTNER.
"Miss Red Sash"—my programme can't
even relate
Your name, and I know nothing more
Of your tastes. Do you talk of high Art—or
the state
Of the floor ?
Has Girton or
g*pg|: Newnham
■Jjelpll e n d e a-
'i«P^llJ§^ voured to
73?SS# With stiff est
. I Zjfmtib of science
^n^M\^ \ ,M8i&? your brain;
JBilar^ ^^fflimskzs Or are you
/fflillffli ^illlilllb prepared to
QMtW&&m>. JS^MkSp® discourse of
*?f!im$0i!=^ -^^^^^^^P the fog
ffali^fsl^L/ ]^^^^^^^k> And the rain ?
Do politics
please you?
Uganda,
perhaps,
Or the Ca-
binet crisis
in France ?
Or would you
remark that
a great
many
chaps
Never dance ?
Is Ibsen your
idol, with
plays that
are noise,
t^V ~\ Some say
I \ ' nauseous;
> is he a
sage ?
Or are you contented to see a live horse
On the stage ?
You love Paderewski, and would not be false
To your faith in Brahms, Grieg, Wagner
and _ [valse,
Co.; or you are awfully pleased with this
And this Band ?
I '11 fan you, and hear if you then will repeat
Facts on currents of air, or simoom ;
Or simper, and smilingly speak of the heat
Of the room.
A Good " Second ".—A Dutch Oyster.
Q^> NOTICE—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no ease be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule
there will be no exception.
FKOM PENCIL TO PEN.
(A Story of the Merry Yule-Tide Season.)
Publisher'1 s Sanctum. Publisher and Author
discovered in conference.
Publisher. And so I thought that, perhaps,
with your kind assistance, we might work off
some of the blocks tbat have been left on
our hands under the unfortunate circum-
stances I have just related.
Author. Certainly. Quite easy. You want
to get a Christmas Number out of them. All
right—give me the subjects, and I will just
jot down how they shall be worked in. We
will commence—hero and heroine—say, for
the moment, Edwin and Angelina.
Pub. (look-
ing at pic-
tures). I fancy
this is in-
tended for
somewhere in
the neigh-
bourhood of
the North
Pole. Sailors
surrounded
by white
bears on an
iceberg.
Auth. Yery
good. Ed-
win's father
was an Arctic
explorer.
"Write under
sketch, "The
old man had
For Sail or Return. a ^tart-
nng adven-
ture in the silent land of eternal snow." Go
on.
Pub. Here is, seemingly, a quarrel to the
death, in the time of Charles the Second.
Ball-room, with Cavaliers and their Ladies.
Central group, a fight with swords. Can we
do anything with it?
Auth. Why, certainly. Edwin excites the
jealousy of Angelina's cousin Reginald. The
latter calls out the former at a fancy-dress
dance. Label it—" Captain de Courcy was
too impatient to wait until the ball was over,
but challenged his rival as the company were
on the eve of going down to supper." Drive
on!
Pub. This seems rather a puzzle,—a ship
sinking in mid-ocean.
Auth. The very thing. Edwin having lost
all his money on the Stock Exchange, goes to
Australia for more gold. Label—" The storm
was terrific, and the Belgravia had much diffi-
culty in weathering this gale of almost unpre-
cedented violence." Next, please!
Pub. Why here are some sketches of Yenice,
St. Petersburg, China, and North Wales.
Auth. I can take them en bloc. Edwin and
Angelina, before they return home, go upon a
honeymoon. Work them all in. Anything else ?
Pub. A man being shot by a company of
French soldiers. Is that of any use ?
Auth. First-rate fate for the wicked Regi-
nald. Goes to France during the Franco-
German War as a Special Correspondent, and
is shot as a Prussian spy. Couldn't be better.
Anything else P
Pub. A village crowd looking at a repre-
sentation of "Punch and Judy."
Auth. Obviously a recollection of Edwin's
schooldays. Label it—"Sometimes he would
join the crowd, watching an exhibition of per-
ambulating puppets." Anything else ?
Pub. A man being thrown from his horse
into a brook.
Auth. All right! Angelina first falls in
love with Edwin when nursing him after an
accident in the hunting-field. Label it—
" His horse swerved, and Edwin was thrown
with great violence into the water." Any-
thing else ?
Pub. A man with a dark lantern looking,
I think, at a mile-stone.
Auth. Reginald, before his death in France,
tries to enter burglariously the dwelling-
house of his hated rival. Label—" The mis-
guided wretch paused for a moment while
he examined one of the mile-stones." Any-
thing further ?
Pub. Only two. Which shall we have, a
happy or a wretched ending ?
Auth. Either you please. One's as easy
as the other. What are they ?
Pub. First a man dying in the prairie is
threatened by a vulture.
Auth. Evidently Edwin. You see, we have
already disposed of the wicked cousin. What
is the other ?
Pub. Oh, the conventional thing—bridal
party in a village church. I wish we could
use both.
Auth. So we can. Cut down bridal block,
and punch out enough of sky in prairie to
make room for it. Then give the legend,
'' And Edwin died happily, for in his vision
he saw his love once more as he had hoped
to see her. With his last breath he blessed
her as she stood beside him at the altar."
That will do, and then I can finish off with,
'' Who knows they may not meet again ?
The End."
Pub. And now I want to ask your opinion
about some trade advertisements. I want to
know if we can work them in ?
[Scene closes in upon arrangements of a
business-like character.
THE KISS.
{By a Jubilant Juryman.)
[Kissing the Book is now to be dispensed with as
part of a Juryman's duties.]
Lip to lip is pleasant altogether,
But there is no charm in lip to leather
All the bards who 've sung of osculation,
Down from Ovid to song's last sensation,
Could not lend romance, or even sense,
To the Court's poor labial pretence,
Always meaningless, and most unpleasant.
Here the past is bettered by the present.
Kissing is the due of Love and Beauty,
Dull and dismal when 'tis made mere duty.
Mere lip-loyalty to Love means little—
But to Truth ? 'Tis not worth jot or tittle !
When from lip to lip in cold formality
Passed the grubby cover, in reality
Binding kissing made no oath more binding
Nor more easy Justice's clear finding.
Therefore, thanks to common sense,—long
missing—
That makes obsolete one form of kissing '
11
THERE AND BACK."
First night at Covent Garden of new
Opera, Irmengarda, by Chevalier, not Che-
valier Coster, but Chevalier Emil Bach. In
this plot the women of a besieged city are
allowed to leave it, carrying whatever is most
precious on their backs—but this one Bach
can't carry Irmengarda, which is, however,
not too, too precious, but is supportable. Sir
Druriolantjs Operaticus "gives a Back,"
and it's "Over!"; First Act, while per-
forming, is promising; second very much
after, or behind the first. House full. Every-
body good, specially Yalda and Abramofe.
Mr. Armbruster conducted the Mascagni-
cum-Wagner-&-Co. music. Everybody
happy, specially Bach himself, who was not
backwards in coming forwards, and bowing
his acknowledgments.
By the way, as in Act III. the King enters
"a-riding a-riding," this Opera may be
distinguished from any of Bach's future
works by being called The Horse-bach Opera.
Not to exhaust the punning possibilities in
the name of the composer, it may be in-
cidentally noted that, original and fresh as
every air in this Opera may be, yet this
present work consists entirely of "Bach
Numbers." No more on this subject at
present.
Last week of Opera by night at Covent
Garden, as the Garden is turned into a Race-
course for The Prodigal Daughter's steeple-
chase, and Drury Lane is wanted for the
Pantomime. Sir Druriolantjs has his hands
full—likewise his pockets. " So mote it be! "
TO MY PARTNER.
"Miss Red Sash"—my programme can't
even relate
Your name, and I know nothing more
Of your tastes. Do you talk of high Art—or
the state
Of the floor ?
Has Girton or
g*pg|: Newnham
■Jjelpll e n d e a-
'i«P^llJ§^ voured to
73?SS# With stiff est
. I Zjfmtib of science
^n^M\^ \ ,M8i&? your brain;
JBilar^ ^^fflimskzs Or are you
/fflillffli ^illlilllb prepared to
QMtW&&m>. JS^MkSp® discourse of
*?f!im$0i!=^ -^^^^^^^P the fog
ffali^fsl^L/ ]^^^^^^^k> And the rain ?
Do politics
please you?
Uganda,
perhaps,
Or the Ca-
binet crisis
in France ?
Or would you
remark that
a great
many
chaps
Never dance ?
Is Ibsen your
idol, with
plays that
are noise,
t^V ~\ Some say
I \ ' nauseous;
> is he a
sage ?
Or are you contented to see a live horse
On the stage ?
You love Paderewski, and would not be false
To your faith in Brahms, Grieg, Wagner
and _ [valse,
Co.; or you are awfully pleased with this
And this Band ?
I '11 fan you, and hear if you then will repeat
Facts on currents of air, or simoom ;
Or simper, and smilingly speak of the heat
Of the room.
A Good " Second ".—A Dutch Oyster.
Q^> NOTICE—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no ease be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule
there will be no exception.