Punch (8.1845)

128

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

LIVES OF THE ILLUSTRIOUS LORD MAYORS.

A work, with this extraordinary title, has been advertised, and is to be
completed in eight parts, which, as Lord Maj ors are not usually men of
parts, in the ordinary sense, will be quite as many as are required.

An attempt is made in the prospectus to compare the Lord Majors
with the Doges of Venice, and, perhaps, the present civic dignitary is
worthy ot the comparison, for doge is easily corrupted into Dodge, and

still living whose memoirs will be full of interest. The life of Alderman
Thomas Wood will open out to the scientific writer a very wide field
for he may take his hero down into the coal-mines, and a good deal
of mysterious incident may be introduced in connection with the subject
alluded to. What interest would be excited by the announcement of
d Tale of the Talacre I and the writer may easily be inspired with

Lord Mavor Gibbs must be allowed to have an indisputable claim to the | " thoughts that burn," by pondering on coals that wouldn't. The life of
latter character. j Moon will, of course, embrace a graphic view of the customs of Courts

The exploits of a Lord Mayor will not, we apprehend, be very exciting, j and the familiar habits of Kings, whom the Alderman has honoured with
if we except the little incident of the felling of Wat Tyler, the Mayor of his intimacy. But the world will look with peculiar anxiety to the

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that day being, in the words of an antiquary, " Onne of ye beste fellers
in ye worlde, for he dyd felle ye king's enemy."

[f, however, the Mayors afford little scope to the biographer, the Alder-
men—who are to be included in the work—cannot be regarded as meagre
subjects To say nothing of the Aldermen of former times—there are some

Memoirs of Sir C. Hunter, " The Father of the City," in hopes of
finding some particulars relative to the Mother of the City,—an indi-
vidual that has long been shrouded in the veil of mystery.

The work is to be adorned with portraits, which Punch would be happy
to sketch in the style of the annexed specimen.

PUNCH'S NOY'S MAXIMS.

29 The husband and wife are one person.— Though man and wife are
one in law, they are often two in fact, for there is any thing but
anity between them. They cannot sue each other—at least after
marriage—though before that event the gentleman brings his suit,
but when once wedded they stand no longer in the relation of suitors.
A wife can never answer any action without her husband, for it is
wisely thought that if a woman were allowed to answer alone, or in
other words, have all the talk to herself, there would be no end to it. If
a married woman is guilty of slander, the husband and wife must be
sited tor it, so that a man saddled with a scurrilous helpmate ought
to put a bridle on her tongue as speedily as possible.

30. All that a woman hat appertains to her husband.—Among the other
things appertaining to a woman are sometimes debts and liabilities,
which her husband takes, whether he will or no ; but when the wife
pays the debt of nature, the other debts are discharged, as far as the
husband is concerned, who thus obtains a release in a double sense.

31. The trill of the wife; is subject to the will of the husband.—This is a
maxim that our married readers will find it difficult to understand ;
for it is a settled point, which has been decided over and over again
after much argument, that a wife has a will of her own, which the
will of a husband must often be subject to.

32. The law favours works of charity, right, and truth, and abhors fraud
covin, and uncertainties, which obscure the truth ; contrarieties, delays, un-
necessary circumstances, and s-uch like.—"The law," if we are to judge
by this maxim, must have a very high opinion of itself; and it is
only to be regretted that society at large does not consider the law
such a paragon of perfection as it makes itself out to be. The way
in which the law favours works of charity, is by squabbling over the
funds left for charitable purposes until they are pretty considerably
diminished. If the law really loves right and truth, it is strange
that it should be so constantly at variance with those it professes to
have an affection for. The differences existing between law and
right are, however, very unlike lovers' quarrels, inasmuch as the
former, when they once take place, are seldom made up again. On
the whole, the maxim now under discussion appears to smack of
pleasantry ; for it must surely be a joke to say that the law abhors
" uncertainties which obscure the truth." Perhaps, however, it is
an excess of magnanimity of the law, which induces it to patrouise
those things which it holds in the greatest detestation.

Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 8, York Plate, Stoke Newington, and Frederick Mullett Eram,
of No. 7, Church Row, Stoke Newington, both In the Cnunty of Middlesex, Printer!, at their
Office In Lombard Street, in the Preclnot of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and published
by them, at No. 92, Fleet Street, in the Parish ot St. Bride's, in the City of London.—Satoedai
tliua 15, 1814.