Punch (64.1873)

30 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [January 18, 1873.

CUMULATIVE JURISDICTION*

Commanding Officer. " I don't Know what to do with you, Smithers—always in Trouble. If I made myself into a
Regimental Court-Martial, I d give you Forty-Two Days!"
Smithers. " Can't do that, Sir; would be Illegal I"

Commanding Officer. "Another Word, and I constitute myself 'A District,' and you'll get Eighty-Four Days !"

[Smithers is awed.

RATHER HARD LINES.

This is an advertisement from an Irish paper. Please to read,
nevertheless:—

WANTED by a Gentleman board and schooling for a Boy, aged
thirteen years, of a bad turn of mind, and given to lying: intended
for the sea: terras from. £L6 to £18 per annum, payable monthly.
Address, &c.

What has the Sea done that so objectionable a youth should be
thrown into it ? Why insult respectable fishes ? And, if he is to
be drowned, what is the use of wasting money on his board and
schooling ? But if by the Sea is meant the Service, the British
Marine is really much indebted to the advertiser. What we find
and love in that Service is, among many other excellent qualities,
a good turn of mind (whatever the "gentleman" means) and an
absolute hatred of lying. Lastly, we would remark that, however
desperately and outrageously wicked a boy of thirteen may be, his
faults are probably due to those who have brought him up badly,
and it is dealing a child rather hard measure to prejudice the mind
of any better tutors against him. However, 'tis an Irish advertise-
ment, and an " affectionate people " has its own ways.

Spiritualism and Shak&peare.

In a letter to Prince Henry, the Divine Williams makes Fa/staff
sign himself " J ace: Falstaff. with my familiars." Some commen-
tators will hence, perhaps, infer that Shakspeare was a Spiritualist.

a home aUESTION.

Are Young Men who have sisters generally found to marry ? One
would fancy they must know too much.

PAPAL PREVISION.

The Roman Correspondent of the Times tells us that "the Pope
still speaks of the Italian Government as ' Sub-Alpine.' " What
first put this phrase to denote Victor-Emmanuel and his Ministers
into the Holy Father's head ? The Chief and the Members of the
Government which he calls Sub-Alpine are not, in any intelligible
sense, under the Alps. Certainly they have not, as yet, the Alps on.
top of them. Maybe the Pope imagines that he foresees them lying
under the Alps, which have been hurled upon their heads for having
dethroned him. There, perhaps, they lie, to his mind's eye, like the
Titan beneath Etna. Thus we can imagine that, as persons destined
to be Cardinals by His Holiness are Cardinals already, so the Italian
King andhis Councillors are already Sab-Alpine to the PoPEm petto.

First News of the "Challenger."

[The Daily Telegraph's Correspondent on board states that the first dredging
has resulted in the discovery here immortalised.]

News from the Challenger, nothing ridiculous!

One Ocean Secret's already disclosed,
The Gonotryx, 0, the delightful pisciculus !
Lives a deal deeper than Science supposed.

Then hey for the Gonotryx, Gonotryx, Gonotryx !

Jolly young Gonotryx, swimming so free ;
And soon may the Challenger's trawlings and bonny
tricks

Drag more jolly news from the jolly old sea.

A Problem.—Is it consistent for a man, who professes to be a
Teetotaller, to think no small beer of himself Y