Punch (66.1874)

April 18, 1874.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 161

ADDISONS AGGRAVATION;

OR, “ CHI PATTI NON TIENE ! ”

Your Representative. Why, Sir, Sir Benjamin Backbite is usually
given to a low comedian.

Sheridan. Zounds, Sir! there never was such a mistake. The
Management of the Prince of Wales’s has acted most wisely—a rare
instance in the history of theatrical managements.

Your Representative. Present company-

Sheridan [smiling). Not excepted, Sir. I do not think that the
now-existing Committee of Old Drury would have been so favourably
disposed towards me, as, I hear, they have been towards .Mr.
Chatterton. But as I was saying, they have done well and wisely
at the Prince of Wales’s in giving Sir Benjamin to Mr. Lin Payne,
who, but for the drawback of habitual self-consciousness, which
sacrifices the interests of the scene for the sake of an individual
appeal to the audience, is the legitimate successor of the original
Mr. Dodd, the most perfect fopling of his time, “the prince of pink
heels, and the soul of empty eminence.”

Your Representative. And the Crabtree of Mr. Wood ?

Sheridan. ’Gad, Sir, Crabtree is Wood. Parsons was much the
same—a fidgety old fellow who afterwards played Cumber—I mean
Sir Fretful to the life.

Your Representative. Miss Fanny Josephs was charming as Lady
Sneerwell, and Mrs. Murry’s Mrs. Candour was as good as could
be wished. And as to Mrs. Bancroft’s Lady Teazle, Sir-

Sheridan. Whatever the Manageress of the Prince of Wales’s
does, she does well. But let me hear your opinion.

Your Representative. Well, Sir, with all due deference, it appears
to me that the key-note of Mrs. Bancroft’s Lady Teazle is to be
found in Sir Peter's description of her : “ She plays her part in all
the extravagant foppery of the fashion and the town with as ready
a grace as if she had never seen a bush or a grass-plot out of
Grosvenor Square.” There it is exactly. The clever, quick-witted
country girl, the rural coquette, who, six months ago, jogged on a
pillion on old Dobbin’s back behind the butler, refused the fox-
hunting Squire and accepted Sir ,Pe7er, has, with ready perception
of the requirements of her new rank, rapidly assimilated herself to
the character of the society in which she is henceforward to live,
move, and have her being, and seeing that she must either rule
among the peacocks, or be sneered at, and plucked as an intrusive
jackdaw, she has at once successfully adopted all the graces and the
manners of a woman of fashion. Giddy with excitement, she is, for
a brief space only, in danger of yielding up her belief in virtue before
the specious doctrines of a detestably false philosophy.

Sheridan (shaking me by the hand). Sir, this is all most true.

Your Representative. As Mr. Snake, (and, after him, the recently
unfortunate Mr. Jean Lute,) says, “I scorn a lie.” But to
continue. Note Mrs. Bancroft’s repentant air in the Screen
Scene, and her look of scorn for Joseph when he attempts to assist
her from the room. Excuse my saying it, Mr. Sheridan, but I
cannot understand why on earth you allowed Charles Surface to
indulge his elegant raillery—we call it “ chaffing” now-a-days, by
your leave, Sir—at Sir Peter's expense in that trying and most
serious situation.

Sheridan. Serious, Sir! A plague of your seriousness!. Don’t
mistake me, Sir. That scene was farcical, and the situation was
farcical, and Charles Surface laughed at it as afterwards Old
Rowley laughed at it, as Sir Oliver laughed at it, and as we should
have laughed at it in my time. Serious!

Your Representative. But, surely, Sir--.

Sheridan. ’Slife, Sir, I am beginning to think that the youngsters
pretend to understand me better than I ever understood myself. I
am my own Lord Burleigh, and my shake of my head means a
devilish deal more than I could possibly have imagined. It is getting
late, and we keep early hours. Besides, I should like to talk this
over with Garrick. Be it yours, Sir, to “draw wise morals from
my play.” And so I take my leave. Tour most obsequious !

Your Representative. Your most devoted!

And so I awoke—just in time to sign myself, quite wide awake,

Your Representative.

P.S. The minuet danced by Mrs. Bancroft, Miss Josephs, Mr.
Wood, and Mr. Lin Bayne, is alone worth a second visit, and the
picture and frame are worth two more after that. Even with a view
to learned theatrical conversation at the dinner-table and at five
o’clock teas, everyone should seethe revival at the Prince of Wales’s
of the School for Scandal.

Becoming Caution.

A writer on the Agricultural Statistics of Ireland, in the Lrish
Times for April 4th, notices that—

“ Horses showed an increase over the previous year to the number of 2879;
while Asses (quadruped) were 978 in excess.”

What Literary Ladies ought to Wear.—Book Muslin.

“ Yes, all right; you shall have hair-pins, violet powder, and foot-
warmer.”—Addison to Pattie Laverne.

{See Report of a late Trial at Liverpool.)

How could the most errant of Stars not be caught
By a telegram thus with all gallantry fraught ?

But femme varie too often.

And violet-powder, and hair-pins to boot,

And even a warmer for each fairy foot,

A hard Pattie won’t soften!

How sad for this most enterprising lessee,

That in spite of his telegrams frolic and free,

Miss Pattie turned traitor.

And if swingeing damages Addison get,

Punch must honestly own he will feel no regret
To be a “ Spectator.”

Young Ladies that country engagements accept,

To their country engagements should strictly be kept,

If by power of attorney ;

And when a fair Star thus comes down from her sphere,
Punch can only exclaim, “Ah, how facilis here
Is Descensus Laverni ! "

FRUITS OF PISCICULTURE.

he good news of last week
includes the tidings, de-
lightful if true, that, on
Wednesday morning, a
fine salmon - trout sup-
posed to weigh from ten
to eleven pounds was seen
by a ferryman named
Barker, leaping about in
the Thames off Gordon
House, Isleworth, the re-
sidence of Lord Kil-
morey. Among the better
news is the event that a
salmon - trout weighing
7lb. 4|oz., was actually
caught off the island near
the same place by a barge-
man named Finn. Mr.
Finn was offered ten shil-
lings for his prize, but

Ereferred to keep it.for
is own consumption,
whence we rejoice to infer
that he is a prosperous
bargee. It is a hopeful
fact that a salmon-trout
has been taken in the
Thames, and a remarkable one that it was caught by a Finn.

THE LABOUR LAWS COMMISSION.

Approach of May with tints so gay
Is what the minstrel muses on:

But worthier far of poet’s lay

Th’ inquiry that Tom Hughes is on.

Masters’ and Workmen’s wrongs and rights
Macdonald too will sit upon ;

While Lords and Lawyers blend their lights,
Some plan of peace to hit upon.

Of Capital’s and Labour’s laws,

When they’ve the tangled clue undone,

Let Men and Masters join applause,

And bless the Squire of Hughenden!

THE REVERSE OF THE SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL.

A School in which very few Members of Society are brought up
—a Charity School.