Punch (79.1880)

178

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[October 16, 1880.

AT OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

In Bentley and Son’s List two
advertisements appear in curions
proximity. The first is Adam
and Eve, by Mrs. Pash—surely
it ought to have been by Parr and
Ma!—and immediately following
it is Thoughts in my Garden.
Evidently an undesigned coinci-
dence.

Messrs. Ward and Lock an-
nounce the Twenty-First Season
of Beaton’s Annual. A very
hardy annual this—never crushed,
though always beaten. The same
firm publish, among its “Health
Manuals,” a treatise called Sleep,
and'How to Obtain it. Trice One
Shilling. Can this be an adver-
tisement for the Polytechnic En-
tertainment ?

Messrs. Rivington & Co., the
Athenceum informs us, have in
the press a new Novel entitled
The Glen of Silver Birches. Of
course dedicated to the Home
Secretary and the Juvenile
Offenders when caught in a new
Act.

By our Double-First.

The “ Schoice Cancellarii " at
Lincoln. “It is necessary,” said
the Bishop of Lincoln, while
expressing his sorrow for the
change at the Universities, “to
supply the deficiencies by such
institutions as the ‘ ‘ Scholce Can-
cellar ii." Literally translated,

these evidently are 4 ‘ The Schools
for What’s Cancelled ” at Oxford
and Cambridge.

PUNCH’S FANCY PORTRAITS-No. 3.

A SANDWICH MAN.

Will he be the only one left to share Hands with himself,

AND SAY TO HIMSELF, “ 'Em-BRASSEZ MOI ” ?

POPULAR POLKA.

It is called Be Premier Pas.
It is not a dance specially written
for Mr. Gladstone, but is Be
Premier Pas qui Coote—don’t
pronounce this “Kick Coote”—
published under the flag of Ad-
miral Hopwood and Crew. How
appropriately a Naval Demon-
stration song would come from
this firm. Coote and Tinney’s
band is in this Crew, we believe ;
and, if the Crew were asked the
question and wouldn’t reply, then
there’d certainly be a Mute-
Tinney among them.

Hard upon H.R.K.

The Old Temple Bar Memo-
rial, it is now said, is only to be
a column—nothing more — with
the Prince of Wales on the top
of it. But why connect the Prince
with Obstruction on a column.
Surely, if this is so, His Royal
Highness will consider himself
much columniated. The Turtle-
Soup ers will of course change
the Prince’s motto of ‘ ‘ Be h Dien ! ”
to “ Ich Bine /”

Oxford Electors’ Chorus.

Oh, my colour is so red,

And my heart it is so blue!
I’m a cheating leary cove—

I ’ll be bribed by Two !

A Starting Point —a pin’s,
when sticking out of a young
Lady’s girdle. (Yes; but when?)

THE ITALIAN MANOEUVRES.

(From your Military Correspondent.)

Dear Slr,

Having at your special request, and at great inconvenience
to myself, attended the Military Manoeuvres of Germany and
France, I thought I might as well go down South, and see how the
Army of Italy was progressing. I do trust that my reports of Die
Deutsche and les Frangais reached you, but foreign posts are seldom
to be depended upon. There stands a post, and the letters generally
remain standing in it. This, for safety, I send by hand, and the boy
toill wait for an answer. Travelling abroad en prince, as befits your
Representative hostet sehr theuer, and I appeal to your soft head,
appreciative heart—pardon ! your appreciative head, your soft heart,
and your strong right hand—please don't cross it—to reimburse me
at once.

You have doubtless read accounts of these Manoeuvres in the daily
papers. From internal evidence, I don’t believe the writers of those
accounts were ever in Italy at all. B didn't see them there. They
were a great success—the Manoeuvres, not the accounts, they were
rubbish. The King was looking very well, and highly pleased to see
me again. He said he had derived much benefit from his recent

sojourn at the watering-place of -, but I told him that name

could only be mentioned as an advertisement, twenty-four words for
sixpence, and six insertions for half-a-crown. He then turned on
his heel, or, to be more accurate, on both heels, and left me. Such
is the niggardly disposition of Italians. The boy will wait for cm
ansicer.

I will not trouble you with the military details of the Manoeuvres,
greatly doubting your ability to understand them. Suffice to say
that the main body enfiladed en echelon, the right wing throwing out
two bastions as the left, forming into demilunes, permitted the ad-
vanced guard to make a forced march of a mile. Simple as this
sounds, it takes strong steady men to do it; and the mannVr in which
it was done brought down loud applause from all good critics. The
men are a fine serviceable set of soldiers, and will be heard of in
the event of a European War. First and foremost comes that crack
corps the- Bmagieri, so called from their head-dress, which consists
of a fiat top, like to our own Lancers’ head-gear, but much larger,

made of wood, and surmounted by a little white image. Each bat-
talion has a distinguishing mark, some wearing, as an image, the
portrait of the King, others a boy bearing a basket of flowers, and
others a fac-simile of the Venus de Milo. Fine dashing men are these;
but for troops that are as steady as our own Guards, give me the
Organi Grindieri, whom nothing will make move on. Indeed, for
refusing to stir I give them the preference over our own Line; but
their uniforms, though picturesque, are ragged, and their music is,
without any exception, detestable. Some amends are, however,
made by the bright little vivandieres who accompany the Grindieri—
dark, dusky maidens, clad in the picturesque garb of Southern Italy.
I had a little flirtation with one, and her quaint answer, givenJn the
rich mellow Bingua Toscana, so tickled me, that I must give it you.
I had been admiring her eyes, and she replied, archly, “ Arrah, get
along wid ye ! sure you 're f blathering me." Fine bold soldiers, too,
are the Cipaisis, the sight of whom, with their mitrailleuses, which
look like blocks of tin standing on four legs, would make the bravest
men on the hottest day feel cold. Of the minor corps I will not
trouble you with an account. But, assuring you of the extreme
regard and affection in which I hold you, and reminding you that
the boy will wait for an answer,

Ho l’onore d’essere di sua Signoria,

L’umilissimo e divotissimo Servo,

Bl giardino di Attonio, Marlborough Wellington.

II montagne di Saffronio.

[Our confidence in our Military Correspondent is somewhat shaken. _ V «
never got those letters from Germany or France. We pass over the military
terms—they may be right. But Imagieri, and the description of their
helmets, remind us of the Italians who sell plaster images—and a light bursts
upon us; the others are organ-grinders, and the Cipaisis are the sellers of
cheap ices. We have looked up our map for the address, but canuot find it.
Working it out In the Dictionary, we have come to the conclusion that it is
“ Hatton Garden, Saffron Hill ” ! We have been hoaxed. The boy may wait
for an answer, but he will be an arisen.>us boy if he does.—En.]

IDIOMATIC.

“ By the pow’rs ! ” has hitherto been a peculiarly Irish exclama-
tion. Henceforth it will be adopted by the Turks.