DOI Heft:
July to December, 1844
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16520#0258
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
251
AFTER-DINNER SESSIONS.
he following report cf the trial of a
prisoner "after dinner," will serve to
show the expediency of discontinuing
evening sittings recommended by Sir
James Graham.
Judge {taking his seat). Ha, ha, ha !
very good, excellent, a capital joke,
ha, ha !
Counsel (coming in). Ha, ha, ha! The
wine's better than they gave us last
session, ha, ha !
Jury (entering the box). A very good
house that ! and the brandy-and-water
prime, wasn't it ?
Officer of the Court. John Thomson ! —
oh, that's the prisoner—(to the jailer)
John Thomson, you stand charged—
Jailer. My name's not John Thomson, I don't stand charged—
you mean the prisoner.
Officer of the Court. Well, it's all the same. What does the prisoner
say,—Guilty or Not guilty ?
Prisoner. Not guilty.
1st Counsel. Gentlemen of the jury, it is my painful duty to appear
Th-e jury (laughing among themselves). Of course we must let him off.
We've heard nothing against Inm.
Foreman of the jury. We find the prisoner, Not guilty.
Clerk of the Court. Both of them ?
1st Counsel. Both of them ! There is but one. Really, Mr. Asso-
ciate, this is very annoying.
Judge. Prisoner at the bar, you have had a very narrow escape.
If we see you here again, you will certainly be transported. You
belong to a bad lot. I'm quite convinced of that. Hollo! where's-
the prisoner ?
Jailer. He's gone, my Lord.
Judge. Gone! I wanted to warn him (smiling at the bar). These
fellows are rather too quick for us.
Counsel (tying up their papers). Yes, my Lord. Ha ! ba ! ha ! ha .r
Are you going towards the Temple I I've got a cab waiting.
Jury (gring). Well, that's the way to get through the Calendar
anyhow.
Usher (putting out the candles). I believe you.
UNIVERSITY INTELLIGENCE.
Mr. Punch,
I have heard on good authority the enclosed will be published 02
the date here given.
NOTICE.
for the prosecutor— Trin. Coll., April 1st, 1845.
Prisoner. That's the gentleman who was paid to defend me. *3nttrc t5 Ijrvrun (Sifafll, That any undergraduate, or person in ftatu
2nd Counsel. Oh, then it's a mistake. You 're for the defence, I pupillari, who shall he seen at any hour of the day in any of the courts of
am for the prosecution, ha, ha, ha ! this college, whether it be the Great Court, Neville's Court the New
Judge. That's a good joke-ahem !-ahem ! I mean to say, the Co^> or Foub"h C°a^^£r^*^£^the CoU shall t e-
gravity of justice requires that we should sift-1 say sift-every case towiTIf two^ilL™'and Jxp^nc^ which shall go tothe benefit;
that comes before us. Prisoner at the bar, you have been convicted of learning and religio=5 by being applied to the college library.
of having-
1st Counsel. Your Lordship mistakes, the man is not tried
'xlntS fHorrourr, Let notice be taken, that any cap of which more thai*
-j
V
T , • ,. , , i • T. three of the four corners be broken, or otherwise dilapidated, or if more
m Judge. These interruptions from the bar are very unbecoming. It j than fcwQ corners t ther with the tassel shall be wanting, it shali not be
is impossible I can sit here to be interrupted by counsel. considered as academical, and shall be liable to the said fine of two
2nd Counsel. Call the first witness, what's his name I shillings and sixpence.
Usher (calls)._« What 's-his-name !" (A general laugh, in which the | Tf any gQWn be worn> of whJch more than ha]f the skirt together
bench, bar, and jury join.) ^ , wjjb one sleeve be torn off, or if the skirt be whole and the two sleeves-
Judge. I must commit, if this sort of conduct is repeated. Prisoner , be gon6) or the gown ;tse]f De in ribands, then shall it not be considered
at the bar, what have you to say to the charge ? 1 as academical ; and any person, in statu pupillari, wearing such a cap
or such a gown, shall be liable to the said fine of two shillings and
sixpence.
HTs'0, if any person, in statu pupillari, be known to sleep without his-
gown over his night-shirt, or at any rate lying on the bed, or without his
cap on, over or under his night-cap, as the case may be, contrary to the
good order and discipline of the University, he shall for the first offence-
be fined the sum of two shillings and sixpence ; and if lie persist, for the
second time he shall be fined the sum of five shillings ; for the third seven
shillings and sixpence, and so on. But if he persist obstinately, he shall
then be brought before the master and senior, and shall suffer such
punishment as they shall think fit to inflict.
(Signed) W, Hfecwaft.
Now, Mr. Punch, I ask you, if it is not a hard case, that after the first
of April next I shall be obliged to purchase a new cap, or be fined twc
shillings and sixpence ? I consider this a breach of our privileges as
undergraduates —we, who are accustomed to pride ourselves on the
badness of our caps. Shall all our honest pride be overturned—the pride
of all the rows we have been engaged in—of all the lamps we have
smashed—all the heads we have broken—is this to be taken from us by
-? But I find I am getting personal, and hoping you will make our
case known, I am proud to be
The Owner or a Bad Cap.
1st Counsel. My friend has not made out any case ; I submit there is
nothing to go to a jury.
Judge. Gentlemen of the jury, yon have heard such of the facts of
this distressing case as are capable of being conveyed to your know-
ledge. Gentlemen, the criminal law of this country draws a happy
distinction between assumed guilt, and guilt actually proved. In
Hawkins's "Pleas of the Crown" you will find all this laid down
much better than I can explain it to you. Gentlemen, I shall not
detain you with any further observations, but I leave the case in
your hands, with this simple observation, that if you have any doubt
ou must give the benefit of that doubt to the prisoner.
y
Alarming Failure.
The eclipse of the moon on Sunday week last was, as the Post would
say, a "fiasco." In London it was regularly hissed at an early tart of
the evening. In Liverpool, where it shone to a little better advantage, it
was slightly applauded, but in no instance was it called before the curtain
after the performance, though this might have been partly owing to a
strong cabal formed against it by the fog. One thing is certain, that the
eclipse must have been a failure, or else why was it withdrawn the following
evening, and has not been announced for repetition again this year ?
do oblige us for once.
Parliament is announced to open on the 4th of February. Really, it
would be a favour, Sir Robert, if you would put it off to the 29th.
251
AFTER-DINNER SESSIONS.
he following report cf the trial of a
prisoner "after dinner," will serve to
show the expediency of discontinuing
evening sittings recommended by Sir
James Graham.
Judge {taking his seat). Ha, ha, ha !
very good, excellent, a capital joke,
ha, ha !
Counsel (coming in). Ha, ha, ha! The
wine's better than they gave us last
session, ha, ha !
Jury (entering the box). A very good
house that ! and the brandy-and-water
prime, wasn't it ?
Officer of the Court. John Thomson ! —
oh, that's the prisoner—(to the jailer)
John Thomson, you stand charged—
Jailer. My name's not John Thomson, I don't stand charged—
you mean the prisoner.
Officer of the Court. Well, it's all the same. What does the prisoner
say,—Guilty or Not guilty ?
Prisoner. Not guilty.
1st Counsel. Gentlemen of the jury, it is my painful duty to appear
Th-e jury (laughing among themselves). Of course we must let him off.
We've heard nothing against Inm.
Foreman of the jury. We find the prisoner, Not guilty.
Clerk of the Court. Both of them ?
1st Counsel. Both of them ! There is but one. Really, Mr. Asso-
ciate, this is very annoying.
Judge. Prisoner at the bar, you have had a very narrow escape.
If we see you here again, you will certainly be transported. You
belong to a bad lot. I'm quite convinced of that. Hollo! where's-
the prisoner ?
Jailer. He's gone, my Lord.
Judge. Gone! I wanted to warn him (smiling at the bar). These
fellows are rather too quick for us.
Counsel (tying up their papers). Yes, my Lord. Ha ! ba ! ha ! ha .r
Are you going towards the Temple I I've got a cab waiting.
Jury (gring). Well, that's the way to get through the Calendar
anyhow.
Usher (putting out the candles). I believe you.
UNIVERSITY INTELLIGENCE.
Mr. Punch,
I have heard on good authority the enclosed will be published 02
the date here given.
NOTICE.
for the prosecutor— Trin. Coll., April 1st, 1845.
Prisoner. That's the gentleman who was paid to defend me. *3nttrc t5 Ijrvrun (Sifafll, That any undergraduate, or person in ftatu
2nd Counsel. Oh, then it's a mistake. You 're for the defence, I pupillari, who shall he seen at any hour of the day in any of the courts of
am for the prosecution, ha, ha, ha ! this college, whether it be the Great Court, Neville's Court the New
Judge. That's a good joke-ahem !-ahem ! I mean to say, the Co^> or Foub"h C°a^^£r^*^£^the CoU shall t e-
gravity of justice requires that we should sift-1 say sift-every case towiTIf two^ilL™'and Jxp^nc^ which shall go tothe benefit;
that comes before us. Prisoner at the bar, you have been convicted of learning and religio=5 by being applied to the college library.
of having-
1st Counsel. Your Lordship mistakes, the man is not tried
'xlntS fHorrourr, Let notice be taken, that any cap of which more thai*
-j
V
T , • ,. , , i • T. three of the four corners be broken, or otherwise dilapidated, or if more
m Judge. These interruptions from the bar are very unbecoming. It j than fcwQ corners t ther with the tassel shall be wanting, it shali not be
is impossible I can sit here to be interrupted by counsel. considered as academical, and shall be liable to the said fine of two
2nd Counsel. Call the first witness, what's his name I shillings and sixpence.
Usher (calls)._« What 's-his-name !" (A general laugh, in which the | Tf any gQWn be worn> of whJch more than ha]f the skirt together
bench, bar, and jury join.) ^ , wjjb one sleeve be torn off, or if the skirt be whole and the two sleeves-
Judge. I must commit, if this sort of conduct is repeated. Prisoner , be gon6) or the gown ;tse]f De in ribands, then shall it not be considered
at the bar, what have you to say to the charge ? 1 as academical ; and any person, in statu pupillari, wearing such a cap
or such a gown, shall be liable to the said fine of two shillings and
sixpence.
HTs'0, if any person, in statu pupillari, be known to sleep without his-
gown over his night-shirt, or at any rate lying on the bed, or without his
cap on, over or under his night-cap, as the case may be, contrary to the
good order and discipline of the University, he shall for the first offence-
be fined the sum of two shillings and sixpence ; and if lie persist, for the
second time he shall be fined the sum of five shillings ; for the third seven
shillings and sixpence, and so on. But if he persist obstinately, he shall
then be brought before the master and senior, and shall suffer such
punishment as they shall think fit to inflict.
(Signed) W, Hfecwaft.
Now, Mr. Punch, I ask you, if it is not a hard case, that after the first
of April next I shall be obliged to purchase a new cap, or be fined twc
shillings and sixpence ? I consider this a breach of our privileges as
undergraduates —we, who are accustomed to pride ourselves on the
badness of our caps. Shall all our honest pride be overturned—the pride
of all the rows we have been engaged in—of all the lamps we have
smashed—all the heads we have broken—is this to be taken from us by
-? But I find I am getting personal, and hoping you will make our
case known, I am proud to be
The Owner or a Bad Cap.
1st Counsel. My friend has not made out any case ; I submit there is
nothing to go to a jury.
Judge. Gentlemen of the jury, yon have heard such of the facts of
this distressing case as are capable of being conveyed to your know-
ledge. Gentlemen, the criminal law of this country draws a happy
distinction between assumed guilt, and guilt actually proved. In
Hawkins's "Pleas of the Crown" you will find all this laid down
much better than I can explain it to you. Gentlemen, I shall not
detain you with any further observations, but I leave the case in
your hands, with this simple observation, that if you have any doubt
ou must give the benefit of that doubt to the prisoner.
y
Alarming Failure.
The eclipse of the moon on Sunday week last was, as the Post would
say, a "fiasco." In London it was regularly hissed at an early tart of
the evening. In Liverpool, where it shone to a little better advantage, it
was slightly applauded, but in no instance was it called before the curtain
after the performance, though this might have been partly owing to a
strong cabal formed against it by the fog. One thing is certain, that the
eclipse must have been a failure, or else why was it withdrawn the following
evening, and has not been announced for repetition again this year ?
do oblige us for once.
Parliament is announced to open on the 4th of February. Really, it
would be a favour, Sir Robert, if you would put it off to the 29th.