DOI issue:
August 4, 1855
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16616#0055
August 4, 1855.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
4
4o
TEMPTATION TO PARENTS AND GUARDIANS.
HE Times offers, not
only a feast,, hut, a per-
fect glut to the eyes of
those who are looking
out for an eligible op-
portunity of educating
their offspring. To
the parent or guardian
who is desirous of
doing the thing at the
lowest possible figure,
that advertisement
must be a temptation
worthy of the great
tempter himself, which
alleges that "young
gentlemen are boarded,
clothed, and educated
at, £18 per annum."
Allowing five pounds
a-year for the mere
necessary articles of
dress, and another five
pounds for the educa-
tion, there is a balance
of eight pounds for
the board, which would
allow something about
sixpence per day, ex-
clusive of holidays,
which are probably not very plentiful in this "eligible" establishment.
The next advertisement offers an inducement to the parents of those young ladies who cram
down bread and butter by the quartern loaf, astonish a joint, make a round of beef look
foolish, and perform other feats of gormandising for which the gentler sex is happily \
not usually conspicuous. The invitation to this class of young ladies is comprised in [ should turn out to be half of it broom, the un-
the significant words "food unlimited." Here at hast the female cormorants may " peg happy pupil might expect to be paid out with
away" to their hearts' content, or rather, to the full satisfaction of their stomachs. In another I birch as an equivalent.
w
advertisement we find the amiable dodge resorted
to, and the re-opening of the school is announced
by the intimation that the "young friends will
re-assemble on the —th instant," while an
allusion is haDpily thrown in as to the extent
of the "prospect." We recollect going to see
a boy who had been sent to a school on the
coast, on the strength of a glowing description
of the " sea view;" but on inquiry we found
that this marine luxury was only to be obtained
from the top of one of the tallest chimneys < f
the house, to which, of course, the pupils were
not allowed the entree, after the act for the
abolition of climbing boys had come into
operation.
At another establishment the pupils are pro-
mised the treat of conversing "with a resident
native"—an animal that is frequently spoken
of in the zoology of cheap boarding schools.
The next scholastic advertisement that strikes
our eye is one in which "the principal abstains
from unnecessary enlargement." Does he phdge
himself not to get too fat, or does he intend to
convey the idea, that the supply of food to the
pupils will be so copious as to demand a check
upon the over-corpulency of the inmates of the
establishment.
We might continue our specimens of scholastic
advertisements through several columns of our
publication ; but we must be satisfied with one
more illustration of the variety of modes of supply
with which the demand for education is met at
the present season. The instance to which we
allude is an offer to barter a given quantity of
learning for a given quantity of grocery, and to
exchange so much Latin and Greek for so much
tea and sugar. Of course, if a batch of Twankay
PUNCtPS ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
July 23, Monday. The " Religious Worship Bill" (as it is entitled, in
order to show that it d^es not refer to Mammon-worship, or any other
recognised forms of British devotion), having been re-constructed,
passed the Lords. The Earl of Derby still showed himself greatly
interested in it, and was eager to know, "whether it would prevent
divine service from being carried on in the ball-room of an inn." His
lordship has, it is undet stood, a curious plan for combining race-balls
and religion; and he intends to officiate as something between Steward
and Deacon, and to stand at the door, for the collection, holding one of
the plates his horses have won.
In the Commons the Nuisances Removal Bill was read a third time
and passed. It is to be hoped that it will be amended in the Lords, to
the extent of a clause suppressing Street Cries, which are repiesented
to Mr. Punch as rendering great part of London quite uninhabitable.
This crying Duisance ought not to be forgotten. New writs were
moved, Sir William Molesworth, through the happy release of
Lord John Russell, having become Colonial Secretary, and Sir
Benjamin Hall, through the promotion of his colleague, having be- j productively, without being exposed to ruin, as lie is by the present
come Chief Commissioner of Works. Mr. Laing expressed a wish to j partnership law. Lord Palmerston is fighting for the reform, very
replied, that they had intended to do it properly, and he would not tell
him how. A long squabble about the eternal Scotch Map succeeded;
and Lord Skymour charged Government with having "cheated" the
House into ordering a chart on a large scale for the convenience of the
landed proprietors of Scotland. Lokd John Rdssell, thinking the
subject had something to do with Magna Charta, was going to make a
speech, but was undeceived, and did not.
Tuesday. There was a small row in the Commons, as migh t have been
expec'ed. Lord Palmerston had done a bit of neat jockeyship. As
Mr. Punch mentioned, the week before last, the Irish members had been
compelled by their priests and the more ignorant, part of their con-
stituents, to threaten the Government with hostility if a mischievous
clause were not restored to the Tenants' Compensation Bill. So Pajj,
of course, put it back, and obtained Irish support against Mr. Roebuck.
Then, danger being over, he throws over, also, the Tenants' Compensa-
tion Bill altogether. Whereat the Hibernians made a clamour, being
regularly " done."
A knot of selfish capitalists are opposing the valuable measures by
which a comparatively poor man may be enabled to invest his capital
have another debate on the Viennese Conferences, but Lord Palmer-
ston told him that there was no time for anything of the kind; and,
that if he had stayed in the House and minded his business, he would
have heard a great deal of discussion on the subject. The Turkish
manfully, and this day he beat the obstructives by two to one; and on
Thursday he told them that they might try, by all the forms of the
House, to prevent the nation from obtaining wrhat it was felt would be
a great benefit, but if they liked to talk against time until September,
Loan then came up again, and no opposition was offered to it, except j he would keep them at it, and then he beat them again by 121 to 40.
some speeches. Mr. Bright complained that the London press " brow- The House was counted out before dinner, and Apsley Pellatt
heat anybody who spoke reasonably on the War." He should not call was reckoned up in it; the manly exercise of a Count being one in which
out before he is hurt—when he speaks reasonably on the War, we will he is always mixed up, actively or passively. En revanche, on
attend to him; meantime, as the explanation of the word " brow-beat," i ur i j a ^ • j * • m • • , •,, ,,
is "to assail with arrogant speech and dogmatic assertions," we-but I TT Wednesday. ApsletRtried to resist the going into committee on the
surely Mr. Bright, though a Quaker, keeps such a vanity as a looking-1 ^mm ot Contiguous Benefices Bill, and was beaten by 70 to 47, Sir
glass. Mr. Layard urged the great importance of supporting Turkey
in Asia Minor, and expressed his fear lest the Russians should take
Kars. The majority of the Members had no idea what he meant, and won-
dered why the Russians might not take cars as w'e take cabs; but, when
William Clay announced, that he must withdraw his Church-rate
Abolition Bill for the session, as its opponents were availing themselves
of the forms of t he House to get rid of a measure they could not resist
by argument. Twice, therefore, this week, men trying to do good
have broken their shins over the Forms of the House. If these forms
u. „.m ir„ nT .-r.c*~,n-*m „___A „„„t^„n+;^„ e~ « * * rr j nave nroKen bneir sums over i,ue jurms oi me cxouse. u uese lorms
he gave Mr. Gladstone a good castigation for nnstatesmanlike and | Tint nnshed mi to the wall nut of neonle's wav Mr Punch mav
nnratnnt p. pnndnpt" n trvntr tn dpl'pat thP Inar, tl,«r ,»pro t>lpQOprl dre. EOt Pusoea UP to tlie Wall, OUT, Ot peoples way, JOT. rUUCtl may
unpatriotic conduct" in trying to defeat the loan, they were pleased.
In the course of the debate, Gladstone called himself one of the dii
minores; but, to the classical mind of Mr. Punch he more resembled
one of the dii selecti—byname Janus the double-faced. Mr. Palk
wanted to know, how the Government intended to carry on the War, and
whether they intended to do it properly, to which Frederick Pell
eel it necessary to order them out altogether.
Thursday. The Lords cut away at real business, the only discussion
being whether the Irish Constabulary ought to be employed for excise
purposes, in regard to the sale of spirits. Decidedlv the policeman's
staff and the gauger's, are two distinct things, and the former officer's
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
4
4o
TEMPTATION TO PARENTS AND GUARDIANS.
HE Times offers, not
only a feast,, hut, a per-
fect glut to the eyes of
those who are looking
out for an eligible op-
portunity of educating
their offspring. To
the parent or guardian
who is desirous of
doing the thing at the
lowest possible figure,
that advertisement
must be a temptation
worthy of the great
tempter himself, which
alleges that "young
gentlemen are boarded,
clothed, and educated
at, £18 per annum."
Allowing five pounds
a-year for the mere
necessary articles of
dress, and another five
pounds for the educa-
tion, there is a balance
of eight pounds for
the board, which would
allow something about
sixpence per day, ex-
clusive of holidays,
which are probably not very plentiful in this "eligible" establishment.
The next advertisement offers an inducement to the parents of those young ladies who cram
down bread and butter by the quartern loaf, astonish a joint, make a round of beef look
foolish, and perform other feats of gormandising for which the gentler sex is happily \
not usually conspicuous. The invitation to this class of young ladies is comprised in [ should turn out to be half of it broom, the un-
the significant words "food unlimited." Here at hast the female cormorants may " peg happy pupil might expect to be paid out with
away" to their hearts' content, or rather, to the full satisfaction of their stomachs. In another I birch as an equivalent.
w
advertisement we find the amiable dodge resorted
to, and the re-opening of the school is announced
by the intimation that the "young friends will
re-assemble on the —th instant," while an
allusion is haDpily thrown in as to the extent
of the "prospect." We recollect going to see
a boy who had been sent to a school on the
coast, on the strength of a glowing description
of the " sea view;" but on inquiry we found
that this marine luxury was only to be obtained
from the top of one of the tallest chimneys < f
the house, to which, of course, the pupils were
not allowed the entree, after the act for the
abolition of climbing boys had come into
operation.
At another establishment the pupils are pro-
mised the treat of conversing "with a resident
native"—an animal that is frequently spoken
of in the zoology of cheap boarding schools.
The next scholastic advertisement that strikes
our eye is one in which "the principal abstains
from unnecessary enlargement." Does he phdge
himself not to get too fat, or does he intend to
convey the idea, that the supply of food to the
pupils will be so copious as to demand a check
upon the over-corpulency of the inmates of the
establishment.
We might continue our specimens of scholastic
advertisements through several columns of our
publication ; but we must be satisfied with one
more illustration of the variety of modes of supply
with which the demand for education is met at
the present season. The instance to which we
allude is an offer to barter a given quantity of
learning for a given quantity of grocery, and to
exchange so much Latin and Greek for so much
tea and sugar. Of course, if a batch of Twankay
PUNCtPS ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
July 23, Monday. The " Religious Worship Bill" (as it is entitled, in
order to show that it d^es not refer to Mammon-worship, or any other
recognised forms of British devotion), having been re-constructed,
passed the Lords. The Earl of Derby still showed himself greatly
interested in it, and was eager to know, "whether it would prevent
divine service from being carried on in the ball-room of an inn." His
lordship has, it is undet stood, a curious plan for combining race-balls
and religion; and he intends to officiate as something between Steward
and Deacon, and to stand at the door, for the collection, holding one of
the plates his horses have won.
In the Commons the Nuisances Removal Bill was read a third time
and passed. It is to be hoped that it will be amended in the Lords, to
the extent of a clause suppressing Street Cries, which are repiesented
to Mr. Punch as rendering great part of London quite uninhabitable.
This crying Duisance ought not to be forgotten. New writs were
moved, Sir William Molesworth, through the happy release of
Lord John Russell, having become Colonial Secretary, and Sir
Benjamin Hall, through the promotion of his colleague, having be- j productively, without being exposed to ruin, as lie is by the present
come Chief Commissioner of Works. Mr. Laing expressed a wish to j partnership law. Lord Palmerston is fighting for the reform, very
replied, that they had intended to do it properly, and he would not tell
him how. A long squabble about the eternal Scotch Map succeeded;
and Lord Skymour charged Government with having "cheated" the
House into ordering a chart on a large scale for the convenience of the
landed proprietors of Scotland. Lokd John Rdssell, thinking the
subject had something to do with Magna Charta, was going to make a
speech, but was undeceived, and did not.
Tuesday. There was a small row in the Commons, as migh t have been
expec'ed. Lord Palmerston had done a bit of neat jockeyship. As
Mr. Punch mentioned, the week before last, the Irish members had been
compelled by their priests and the more ignorant, part of their con-
stituents, to threaten the Government with hostility if a mischievous
clause were not restored to the Tenants' Compensation Bill. So Pajj,
of course, put it back, and obtained Irish support against Mr. Roebuck.
Then, danger being over, he throws over, also, the Tenants' Compensa-
tion Bill altogether. Whereat the Hibernians made a clamour, being
regularly " done."
A knot of selfish capitalists are opposing the valuable measures by
which a comparatively poor man may be enabled to invest his capital
have another debate on the Viennese Conferences, but Lord Palmer-
ston told him that there was no time for anything of the kind; and,
that if he had stayed in the House and minded his business, he would
have heard a great deal of discussion on the subject. The Turkish
manfully, and this day he beat the obstructives by two to one; and on
Thursday he told them that they might try, by all the forms of the
House, to prevent the nation from obtaining wrhat it was felt would be
a great benefit, but if they liked to talk against time until September,
Loan then came up again, and no opposition was offered to it, except j he would keep them at it, and then he beat them again by 121 to 40.
some speeches. Mr. Bright complained that the London press " brow- The House was counted out before dinner, and Apsley Pellatt
heat anybody who spoke reasonably on the War." He should not call was reckoned up in it; the manly exercise of a Count being one in which
out before he is hurt—when he speaks reasonably on the War, we will he is always mixed up, actively or passively. En revanche, on
attend to him; meantime, as the explanation of the word " brow-beat," i ur i j a ^ • j * • m • • , •,, ,,
is "to assail with arrogant speech and dogmatic assertions," we-but I TT Wednesday. ApsletRtried to resist the going into committee on the
surely Mr. Bright, though a Quaker, keeps such a vanity as a looking-1 ^mm ot Contiguous Benefices Bill, and was beaten by 70 to 47, Sir
glass. Mr. Layard urged the great importance of supporting Turkey
in Asia Minor, and expressed his fear lest the Russians should take
Kars. The majority of the Members had no idea what he meant, and won-
dered why the Russians might not take cars as w'e take cabs; but, when
William Clay announced, that he must withdraw his Church-rate
Abolition Bill for the session, as its opponents were availing themselves
of the forms of t he House to get rid of a measure they could not resist
by argument. Twice, therefore, this week, men trying to do good
have broken their shins over the Forms of the House. If these forms
u. „.m ir„ nT .-r.c*~,n-*m „___A „„„t^„n+;^„ e~ « * * rr j nave nroKen bneir sums over i,ue jurms oi me cxouse. u uese lorms
he gave Mr. Gladstone a good castigation for nnstatesmanlike and | Tint nnshed mi to the wall nut of neonle's wav Mr Punch mav
nnratnnt p. pnndnpt" n trvntr tn dpl'pat thP Inar, tl,«r ,»pro t>lpQOprl dre. EOt Pusoea UP to tlie Wall, OUT, Ot peoples way, JOT. rUUCtl may
unpatriotic conduct" in trying to defeat the loan, they were pleased.
In the course of the debate, Gladstone called himself one of the dii
minores; but, to the classical mind of Mr. Punch he more resembled
one of the dii selecti—byname Janus the double-faced. Mr. Palk
wanted to know, how the Government intended to carry on the War, and
whether they intended to do it properly, to which Frederick Pell
eel it necessary to order them out altogether.
Thursday. The Lords cut away at real business, the only discussion
being whether the Irish Constabulary ought to be employed for excise
purposes, in regard to the sale of spirits. Decidedlv the policeman's
staff and the gauger's, are two distinct things, and the former officer's