DOI issue:
September 8, 1855
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16616#0113
September 8, 1855.] fUJNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 10!
composers, -who have in some humble degree contributed to the success of the stars, might be
used for the back lanes and by-ways, as Shakspeare Court, Ben Jonson Alley, Beaumonl
Passage, Fletcher Lane, Sheridan Corner, Kossini Bow, Balfe Buildings. Oue would not
he severe, and suggest titles which, though they have no connection with anv of the above
honourable names, might hit elsewhere, as Bant Street, Stamp Street, Quack Street, Puff
Street, Gag Street, Clique Street, and other appellations that might occur to the malicious.
Or, finally, suppose the district to be named included Mr. Punch's Office. How the corner
of the streets would sparkle with_ one constant illumination. Punch Street, Judy Street,
Toby Street, would be the grand titles, and despite what has been said about non-allegiance,
the rents world go up fearfully from the moment those names went up. Happy too would
those lucky householders be whose destiny should plant them in Almanack. Street and
Pocket-Book Bow; happy the dwellers in Caudle Street, Titmarsh Street, Struggles Street,
Pips Street, Briggs Street, Comic England Street, Violet Stieet, Honeymoon Street, Bib
Street, Bashi-Bazouk Street, with those in Wit Street, Humour Street, Wisdom Street,
and the other streets which would derive their names from all the Virtues formerly resident
with Bishop Berkeley, but now far moie comfortably installed at 85, Pleet Street, London.
THE GUMMING MAN.
owever profitable to his
publishers, it must be,
or it ought to be, very
painful to Dr. Gum-
ming to be made the
subject of the numer-
ous and various puffs
which are circulated
concerning himself and
his works in the differ-
ent newspapers. We
are beginning to be al-
most as familiar with
the name of Cumming
as we are with 1 hose of
Holloway and a few
others, who will go
down to posterity in
the supplement to the
Times, or the adver-
tising sheets of the
Quarterlies. It no
doubt answers the pur
po*e of the pious pub
Iishers who wish to sell
a few extra copies of
the Voices of the Night
or of the Morning, or
of the Afternoon, or of
any other hour that
may be thought suited
to the taste of the day,
to render Dr. Cumming notorious in newspaper paragraphs ; but to the Reverend Gentleman
himself it must be—or it ought to be—most distasteful to have his "reputation kept alive," as
the commercial phrase goes, by continual puffing. The latest instance we have seen of this
kindof thing is a puff tor oue of Dr. Cumming's Sermons, which is said to have been preached
before Sir J. Campbell, previous to his leaving for the Crimea, which Sermon is said to have
made him ''ready to die as a Christian," and he accordingly "fought and fell like a hero."
Of course the inference is, that the Bevererid Gentleman's Sermon was the cause of the
Christian heroism of the unfortunate, but gallant General, who we have no doubt would have
manifested all the noble qualities he evinced, even if he had not attended the Chapel in Crown
Court, Covent Garden, before proceeding to Sebastopol. We hope we shall hear no more of
gallant officers having been preached to death by Dr. Cumming.
BREAK DOWN OF THE INCOME TAX CART.
We have to announce a break down of the Income Tax Cart, whereby the Chancellor op
the'Ex chequer, has been thrown out, but no one as yet appears to have been sermu-lv
injured. The accident_ was owing to a defect in one of the wheels, known as Schedule D,
which moves on the swindle, or unequal pressure principle.
The Times, in commenting on the occurrence, observes, that Schedule D does not yield what
it ought to do, and illustrates this remark by the statement, that there are only 805 persons
in Great Britain returning between £900 and £1000 annual profits from trades or professions,
and that the number of those who return bet ween £1000 and £2000, from the same sources,
does not exceed 5,350. That the Income Tax Cart should have thus broken down will not
surprise those who long ago foresaw that the vicious principle on which Schedule D v,as
constructed would sooner or later insure its failure.
No doubt this is a bad job, and our leading contemporary has reason in urging that the Tax
Cart must be got to go, if the War is to be carried on; and that the War must be carried
on, or the Cossacks will triumph over us. Of course, it is a great plague to Government
that the public will not pay up and grease the unlucky wheel of tins fiscal vehicle. It is
natural that every Minister should have "complained very bitterly" of that shortcoming.
Bat then, how bitterly did the industrious public complain of Schedule D ! Tney complained
piteously of the shame and the wrong of taxing the whole sum of one man's earnings,
and the interest only of another's capital; the entire property of Jones, and merely a part of
Robinson's—that part bring precarious. They
cried out on the monstrousness of taxing an
income which, long before the call of the col-
lector, might, have ceased to come in. They
cried, not indeed to deaf ears, but to callous
hearts. The iniquity was admitted: the answer
was, that they must grin and .bear it. This is
the language of cool unprincipled Force address-
ing the helpless. Most people obey such a
recommendation as far as they please, and no
farther than they must. They grin ; but instead
of grinning and bearing the injustice, they grin ;
and, if possible, evade it. They grin, and evade
Schedule D, and the Income Tax Cart breaks
down.
Tell men to grin and bear the confiscation
that you are able to enforce at the point of the
bayonet; but don't be so silly as to give that
advice to persons whose own conscience is the
instrument by which you mean to subject them
to extortion. What veidure a statesman must
imagine that he sees in the eyes of a people,
whom he expects to afford the information which
he a^ks for, avowedly in order to bamboozle
them. It is wisdom almost worthy of Mr.
Merkyman to propose to swindle any person,
with the knowledge of that person, by means of
questioning him upon his honour. To question
any one for such a purpose, you should use the
thumbscrews. It may be the duty of the un-
fairly-taxed victim to be an accessoiy to the
fraud which Government seeks to practise on
him. If an incorrigibly insolvent rogue, whom
you do not wish to offend, asks you if you
have live pounds about you, with a view to bor-
row the money, the rule of strict veracity may
require that you should answer in the affirmative,
if you cannot, in accordance with fact, reply in
the negative. But except our noble selves, and
a very few others, frail mortals appear to be
incapable of such exalted morality—and so we
have a break down of the Income Tax Cart.
Very lax, very lamentable, perhaps: a sad
bluutness of moral sense may be evinced in
meeting imposition with subterfuge, instead of
yielding to it with simplicity. A truly conscien-
tious man, perhaps, would rather be a party to
cheating himself than cheat the Government, if
obliged to do one or the other. The generality
of people under such circumstances give them-
selves the benefit of the doubt. This is human
nature, in the face of which Chancellors of the
Exchequer must not fly. if they do, Tax Carts
break down. Indeed, how is an unrighteous tax
ever to be got rid of, but by making Governments
discover that it will not answer ? Let us have a
new Tax Cart—one that will go—rolling alovg
equitably. Our admirals and generals have just
found out that mortars are the best means for
a bombardment. Perhaps Ministers may, by-
deep study, arrive at as great and as simple a
discovery in taxation. What if an increase in
the lnhabite.il House Tax would furnish a satis-
factory Tax Cart ? Wanted, a tax which cannot,
be evaded, and which there would be no excuse
for evading if it could. At least, a man's house
affords a truer revelation of his means of living
than any confession likely to be extorted by the
rack of a fiscalinauisition.
French " Welcome."
This has been a difficult word for our neigh-
bours to spell rightly. However, they ma-
naged to do it with cue significance in the bon
accord they gave to Lord Mayor Moon ; for,
over his Hotel, blazed in oil lamps, the letters—
" Veal come ! "___
a shams and a snuffle.
In order to name, correctly, the Court of
inquiry in the Crimea which virtually tried Mr.
Bake well for calumny in his absence, it is ne-
cessary to catch a cold. The tribunal in ques-
tion was a Court Partial.
composers, -who have in some humble degree contributed to the success of the stars, might be
used for the back lanes and by-ways, as Shakspeare Court, Ben Jonson Alley, Beaumonl
Passage, Fletcher Lane, Sheridan Corner, Kossini Bow, Balfe Buildings. Oue would not
he severe, and suggest titles which, though they have no connection with anv of the above
honourable names, might hit elsewhere, as Bant Street, Stamp Street, Quack Street, Puff
Street, Gag Street, Clique Street, and other appellations that might occur to the malicious.
Or, finally, suppose the district to be named included Mr. Punch's Office. How the corner
of the streets would sparkle with_ one constant illumination. Punch Street, Judy Street,
Toby Street, would be the grand titles, and despite what has been said about non-allegiance,
the rents world go up fearfully from the moment those names went up. Happy too would
those lucky householders be whose destiny should plant them in Almanack. Street and
Pocket-Book Bow; happy the dwellers in Caudle Street, Titmarsh Street, Struggles Street,
Pips Street, Briggs Street, Comic England Street, Violet Stieet, Honeymoon Street, Bib
Street, Bashi-Bazouk Street, with those in Wit Street, Humour Street, Wisdom Street,
and the other streets which would derive their names from all the Virtues formerly resident
with Bishop Berkeley, but now far moie comfortably installed at 85, Pleet Street, London.
THE GUMMING MAN.
owever profitable to his
publishers, it must be,
or it ought to be, very
painful to Dr. Gum-
ming to be made the
subject of the numer-
ous and various puffs
which are circulated
concerning himself and
his works in the differ-
ent newspapers. We
are beginning to be al-
most as familiar with
the name of Cumming
as we are with 1 hose of
Holloway and a few
others, who will go
down to posterity in
the supplement to the
Times, or the adver-
tising sheets of the
Quarterlies. It no
doubt answers the pur
po*e of the pious pub
Iishers who wish to sell
a few extra copies of
the Voices of the Night
or of the Morning, or
of the Afternoon, or of
any other hour that
may be thought suited
to the taste of the day,
to render Dr. Cumming notorious in newspaper paragraphs ; but to the Reverend Gentleman
himself it must be—or it ought to be—most distasteful to have his "reputation kept alive," as
the commercial phrase goes, by continual puffing. The latest instance we have seen of this
kindof thing is a puff tor oue of Dr. Cumming's Sermons, which is said to have been preached
before Sir J. Campbell, previous to his leaving for the Crimea, which Sermon is said to have
made him ''ready to die as a Christian," and he accordingly "fought and fell like a hero."
Of course the inference is, that the Bevererid Gentleman's Sermon was the cause of the
Christian heroism of the unfortunate, but gallant General, who we have no doubt would have
manifested all the noble qualities he evinced, even if he had not attended the Chapel in Crown
Court, Covent Garden, before proceeding to Sebastopol. We hope we shall hear no more of
gallant officers having been preached to death by Dr. Cumming.
BREAK DOWN OF THE INCOME TAX CART.
We have to announce a break down of the Income Tax Cart, whereby the Chancellor op
the'Ex chequer, has been thrown out, but no one as yet appears to have been sermu-lv
injured. The accident_ was owing to a defect in one of the wheels, known as Schedule D,
which moves on the swindle, or unequal pressure principle.
The Times, in commenting on the occurrence, observes, that Schedule D does not yield what
it ought to do, and illustrates this remark by the statement, that there are only 805 persons
in Great Britain returning between £900 and £1000 annual profits from trades or professions,
and that the number of those who return bet ween £1000 and £2000, from the same sources,
does not exceed 5,350. That the Income Tax Cart should have thus broken down will not
surprise those who long ago foresaw that the vicious principle on which Schedule D v,as
constructed would sooner or later insure its failure.
No doubt this is a bad job, and our leading contemporary has reason in urging that the Tax
Cart must be got to go, if the War is to be carried on; and that the War must be carried
on, or the Cossacks will triumph over us. Of course, it is a great plague to Government
that the public will not pay up and grease the unlucky wheel of tins fiscal vehicle. It is
natural that every Minister should have "complained very bitterly" of that shortcoming.
Bat then, how bitterly did the industrious public complain of Schedule D ! Tney complained
piteously of the shame and the wrong of taxing the whole sum of one man's earnings,
and the interest only of another's capital; the entire property of Jones, and merely a part of
Robinson's—that part bring precarious. They
cried out on the monstrousness of taxing an
income which, long before the call of the col-
lector, might, have ceased to come in. They
cried, not indeed to deaf ears, but to callous
hearts. The iniquity was admitted: the answer
was, that they must grin and .bear it. This is
the language of cool unprincipled Force address-
ing the helpless. Most people obey such a
recommendation as far as they please, and no
farther than they must. They grin ; but instead
of grinning and bearing the injustice, they grin ;
and, if possible, evade it. They grin, and evade
Schedule D, and the Income Tax Cart breaks
down.
Tell men to grin and bear the confiscation
that you are able to enforce at the point of the
bayonet; but don't be so silly as to give that
advice to persons whose own conscience is the
instrument by which you mean to subject them
to extortion. What veidure a statesman must
imagine that he sees in the eyes of a people,
whom he expects to afford the information which
he a^ks for, avowedly in order to bamboozle
them. It is wisdom almost worthy of Mr.
Merkyman to propose to swindle any person,
with the knowledge of that person, by means of
questioning him upon his honour. To question
any one for such a purpose, you should use the
thumbscrews. It may be the duty of the un-
fairly-taxed victim to be an accessoiy to the
fraud which Government seeks to practise on
him. If an incorrigibly insolvent rogue, whom
you do not wish to offend, asks you if you
have live pounds about you, with a view to bor-
row the money, the rule of strict veracity may
require that you should answer in the affirmative,
if you cannot, in accordance with fact, reply in
the negative. But except our noble selves, and
a very few others, frail mortals appear to be
incapable of such exalted morality—and so we
have a break down of the Income Tax Cart.
Very lax, very lamentable, perhaps: a sad
bluutness of moral sense may be evinced in
meeting imposition with subterfuge, instead of
yielding to it with simplicity. A truly conscien-
tious man, perhaps, would rather be a party to
cheating himself than cheat the Government, if
obliged to do one or the other. The generality
of people under such circumstances give them-
selves the benefit of the doubt. This is human
nature, in the face of which Chancellors of the
Exchequer must not fly. if they do, Tax Carts
break down. Indeed, how is an unrighteous tax
ever to be got rid of, but by making Governments
discover that it will not answer ? Let us have a
new Tax Cart—one that will go—rolling alovg
equitably. Our admirals and generals have just
found out that mortars are the best means for
a bombardment. Perhaps Ministers may, by-
deep study, arrive at as great and as simple a
discovery in taxation. What if an increase in
the lnhabite.il House Tax would furnish a satis-
factory Tax Cart ? Wanted, a tax which cannot,
be evaded, and which there would be no excuse
for evading if it could. At least, a man's house
affords a truer revelation of his means of living
than any confession likely to be extorted by the
rack of a fiscalinauisition.
French " Welcome."
This has been a difficult word for our neigh-
bours to spell rightly. However, they ma-
naged to do it with cue significance in the bon
accord they gave to Lord Mayor Moon ; for,
over his Hotel, blazed in oil lamps, the letters—
" Veal come ! "___
a shams and a snuffle.
In order to name, correctly, the Court of
inquiry in the Crimea which virtually tried Mr.
Bake well for calumny in his absence, it is ne-
cessary to catch a cold. The tribunal in ques-
tion was a Court Partial.