DOI issue:
May 30, 1874
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16938#0235
Mat 30, 1874.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
231
HISTORY.”
Mrs. Malaprop. “ Been to see the Rooshan Czae, my dear? Not if I
knows it ! Why, it was them as Shot off my pooh Boy’s Leg out in the
Chimera !! ”
SIGHTS TOR SUNDAYS.
Pictures on Sunday we may view
At Hampton Court; museums, two,
Stand open in thy Gardens, Kew.
The River, and the Iron Way,
Much people to those haunts convey,
When sunbeams upon Sundays play.
There works of Nature and of Art
Instruction to the mind impart.
Who says that they corrupt the heart ?
Canst thou deny that they incline
To gentle thoughts, exalt, refine,
0 Puritan, or Scotch Divine ?
What sanction can to place belong,
That here ’tis right, while there ’tis wrong
To admit the Sunday gazers’ throng ?
Where runs the line that’s drawn by you
’Twixt what I may and may not do,—
Between South Kensington and Kew ?
Bloomsbury is, it would appear,
Within the Sabbatarian sphere ;
That Sydenham’s out, do you feel clear ?
In your own way your Sabbath keep ;
Out of church, if not in it, sleep ;
O’er the sad ways of others weep.
But o’er us whilst you cry and groan,
Please leave our liberties alone,
You mind your souls ; we ’ll mind our own.
Thereby Hangs a Tale.
Publicans of England, take warning, and beware!
A terrible fate seems to be threatening your Scottish
brethren. In the debate on the Spirituous Liquors
(Scotland) Bill, one of the speakers suggested the
adoption of the Suspensory Clauses, and Government
adopted the suggestion. Is not this rather too severe ?
Friends as we are to temperance and sobriety, we cannot
think that irregularities in the retailing of whiskey,
or any other offences against the Licensing Acts, ought
to he treated as hanging matters.
It was a strange meeting.
“Where are we now?” repeated the Old Man, with almost
In hand. You are
haughty composure.
“You are on the spot. Red’s your player,
monarch of all you survey.”
“I?”
“ Yes. You are James, Marky Du Crow.”
IY.—Beggar, my Neighbour!
James, Marry Du Crow—we shall henceforth call him by his
name—answered gravely, “ Give me up.”
The man returned “ No.”
“Why not?”
“ I have guessed you.”
“ Therefore-”
“ Therefore, I cannot give you up.”
“ Good. What are you doing there ? ”
“ Beating about the Bush.”
“ Get out! ”
“I shan’t.”
“Why not?”
“ Because I like life in the hush.”
“Is there much life there?”
“ A good deal.”
“If you like life in the hush, you do not drink good wine.”
“ True : if I did, I should need no bush.”
“ That is so. Good day. I shall go on to the village.”
“Don’t.”
“Why not?”
“ Because there ’s a fair there.”
“ Well, a fair cannot be kept dark.”
“No. The village is called Tristesse : or, in the Breton language,
Dumpz.”
‘ ‘ 1 know. Well?”
“ The Blues are there.”
“I will drive them away.”
“You cannot.”
“Why?”
“ Others are there before you. But it is a dull affair. The Great
Maknee has not arrived, and the jokes of the English Clown are
not understood.”
“ What shall I do ? ”
The man seized his arm. “ Come with me ! ”
{To be continued.)
OFF AND AWAY!
When the Czar dined with the Duke of Cambridge, His Impe-
rial Majesty, according to the Court. Circular, was attended at
Gloucester House by some Russian noblemen and military officers,
including three, whose names, ending in “off,” present to the
British mind a combination of remarkable “offs”: to wit, Count
Schouvaloef, General Skolkoff, and General Popoff. It may
not be superfluous to assure some punsters, subject to fearful
proclivities, that Count Schouvaloff is no scavenger, and that
Generals Skolkoff and Popoff are gallant gentlemen, who, with
sufficient troops at their command, may be trusted to hold their
ground in the face of any enemy, and neither to skulk, nor ske-
daddle, nor by any undignified mode of retreat, or with undue
precipitation, pop off the field.
A Chance for the Public.
One of the carriages on a tram which was conveying the Forty-
Second from Aldershot to Portsmouth the other day broke an axle,
when six carriages ran off the line, to the serious damage of several
of the Regiment. _ Smashing a Black Watch ought to be almost
as. effectual in quickening Railway Regulation as damaging a
Director.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
231
HISTORY.”
Mrs. Malaprop. “ Been to see the Rooshan Czae, my dear? Not if I
knows it ! Why, it was them as Shot off my pooh Boy’s Leg out in the
Chimera !! ”
SIGHTS TOR SUNDAYS.
Pictures on Sunday we may view
At Hampton Court; museums, two,
Stand open in thy Gardens, Kew.
The River, and the Iron Way,
Much people to those haunts convey,
When sunbeams upon Sundays play.
There works of Nature and of Art
Instruction to the mind impart.
Who says that they corrupt the heart ?
Canst thou deny that they incline
To gentle thoughts, exalt, refine,
0 Puritan, or Scotch Divine ?
What sanction can to place belong,
That here ’tis right, while there ’tis wrong
To admit the Sunday gazers’ throng ?
Where runs the line that’s drawn by you
’Twixt what I may and may not do,—
Between South Kensington and Kew ?
Bloomsbury is, it would appear,
Within the Sabbatarian sphere ;
That Sydenham’s out, do you feel clear ?
In your own way your Sabbath keep ;
Out of church, if not in it, sleep ;
O’er the sad ways of others weep.
But o’er us whilst you cry and groan,
Please leave our liberties alone,
You mind your souls ; we ’ll mind our own.
Thereby Hangs a Tale.
Publicans of England, take warning, and beware!
A terrible fate seems to be threatening your Scottish
brethren. In the debate on the Spirituous Liquors
(Scotland) Bill, one of the speakers suggested the
adoption of the Suspensory Clauses, and Government
adopted the suggestion. Is not this rather too severe ?
Friends as we are to temperance and sobriety, we cannot
think that irregularities in the retailing of whiskey,
or any other offences against the Licensing Acts, ought
to he treated as hanging matters.
It was a strange meeting.
“Where are we now?” repeated the Old Man, with almost
In hand. You are
haughty composure.
“You are on the spot. Red’s your player,
monarch of all you survey.”
“I?”
“ Yes. You are James, Marky Du Crow.”
IY.—Beggar, my Neighbour!
James, Marry Du Crow—we shall henceforth call him by his
name—answered gravely, “ Give me up.”
The man returned “ No.”
“Why not?”
“ I have guessed you.”
“ Therefore-”
“ Therefore, I cannot give you up.”
“ Good. What are you doing there ? ”
“ Beating about the Bush.”
“ Get out! ”
“I shan’t.”
“Why not?”
“ Because I like life in the hush.”
“Is there much life there?”
“ A good deal.”
“If you like life in the hush, you do not drink good wine.”
“ True : if I did, I should need no bush.”
“ That is so. Good day. I shall go on to the village.”
“Don’t.”
“Why not?”
“ Because there ’s a fair there.”
“ Well, a fair cannot be kept dark.”
“No. The village is called Tristesse : or, in the Breton language,
Dumpz.”
‘ ‘ 1 know. Well?”
“ The Blues are there.”
“I will drive them away.”
“You cannot.”
“Why?”
“ Others are there before you. But it is a dull affair. The Great
Maknee has not arrived, and the jokes of the English Clown are
not understood.”
“ What shall I do ? ”
The man seized his arm. “ Come with me ! ”
{To be continued.)
OFF AND AWAY!
When the Czar dined with the Duke of Cambridge, His Impe-
rial Majesty, according to the Court. Circular, was attended at
Gloucester House by some Russian noblemen and military officers,
including three, whose names, ending in “off,” present to the
British mind a combination of remarkable “offs”: to wit, Count
Schouvaloef, General Skolkoff, and General Popoff. It may
not be superfluous to assure some punsters, subject to fearful
proclivities, that Count Schouvaloff is no scavenger, and that
Generals Skolkoff and Popoff are gallant gentlemen, who, with
sufficient troops at their command, may be trusted to hold their
ground in the face of any enemy, and neither to skulk, nor ske-
daddle, nor by any undignified mode of retreat, or with undue
precipitation, pop off the field.
A Chance for the Public.
One of the carriages on a tram which was conveying the Forty-
Second from Aldershot to Portsmouth the other day broke an axle,
when six carriages ran off the line, to the serious damage of several
of the Regiment. _ Smashing a Black Watch ought to be almost
as. effectual in quickening Railway Regulation as damaging a
Director.