Punch (103.1892)

July 30, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Shape it not in Christian interests, Christian Knight,

but in Mahound's,
And—incline thine ear!—I '11 give thee, Christian, Thirty

Thousand Pounds !!! "

Enter black slave bearing Treasure ! Hanged bags of

glittering gold!
Then upspake brave Euan-Smithez. "Hold, bas

Sultan; minion, hold!
Dost thou think to bribe and buy a Christian Knight f

A Paynim plan!
If J take it, thou mayst sell me to a Moorish dog's-meat

man! "

Then his steed obeyed his master, and he 'whinnied loud
and free,

Turned his back upon the tempter, caracoled with coltish

Struck out with his heels behind him, smote that slave
upon the nose,

Kicked the bags until the bullion in a Danae shower arose.

Never Don Fernando's charger, Bavieca, gave such
spring,

In the sawdust-sprinkled circus of Al-Widdicomb, the
King!

Never did Don Gomersalez fill the Moslem with more
fear,

When he smote him o'er the mazzard with his streak-
o'-lightning spear!

And the scattered gold flew widely, urged by that

prodigious kick,
Smote the Frank behind the throne, although he dodged

amazing quick •
Spattered that insulting Sultan, like a splash of London

mud,

Blackening his dexter eye, and from his " boko " drawing
blood.

Then Sir Carlos Euan-Smitiiez gave that Moorish
Sultan beans,

Holding it foul scorn—as did the pluckiest of Christian
Queens— _

That a Christian Knight should take an insult from a

turban'd Moor,
Without landing him a hot 'un, without giving him

what-for!

Speed thee, speed thee, noble charger! .Speed thee faster

than the wind!
Stout Sir Carlos Euan-Smithez leaves that Moorish

Fez behind;

Shakes its sand from off his shoes, and, having wiped

the Sultan's eye,
Turns his back,and takes his hook, without e'en wishing

him "Good-bye!"

PARLIAMENTARY PRIVILEGE.

Wife of the Late Member for Tooting. " Archibald, why were you so grumpy

at the BlGGE bootheys' to-night ? "

L. M. for T. "Such People, such a Dinner, for a Man who has just
lost his Seat !"

Wife. " I'm sure Parliament didn't do anything for you !"

L. M.for T. "At least it spared me this sort of thing happening Six
Times a Week ! "

OPERATIC NOTES.

Last Nights of the Season.—Monday.—" By General Desire, the
Second and Third Acts of De lara-Boom-de-ay's Opera, called
La Luce delV Asia, followed by Cavalleria Rusticana. Was "by
general desire " applied to the entire programme, or only to its first
part ? Well, we may take for granted that everyone wanted to hear
and see again—but especially to hear—the Cavalleria. So the
"special desire" must apply to La Luce solely and only. If so,
then from this wording we gather that the general and uncontrol-
lable desire to hear the Second and Third Acts of De La-ra-
Boom's Opera did not extend to its Prologue, First Act, Fourth Act
(if any), and Epilogue. But is it complimentary to a Composer to
express a general wish to hear only certain portions of his work,
implying thereby that the generally un-expressed desire is rather
against than for re-hearing the other portions ? All the same Sir
Covent Gardenius exercises a sound discretion in thus dealing with
this particular Opera.

Tuesday.—Bemberg's New Opera, Elaine,

Chorus.—Why was Elaine
Given again ?

0 Druriolan-
us, please explain .

And he did so, by saying in the programme " tgif3 In consequence
of its Great Success and by general desire." Ha! ha! look at the
hand, with index-finger outstretched! By this sign, Sir Drurio-
lanus would have us to understand that " this Opera was not one
which ever went without a hand.^ Moreover, Sir Oracle tells us of
its " Great Success; " note the capitals, and note also, the expression
itself, which was not found in the announcement of the repetition of
the Second and Third Acts of the Light Asian Opera on Monday.
Isn't this an artful way of pitting Admirable Bemberg against our

own accomplished DE-LARA-Boom ? " We " were not there either
Monday or Tuesday, which, as far as the inimitable intermezzo of the
" Rustic Chivalry " goes, was distinctly " our " loss. But they were
going to do without us, and they did so; but whether ill or well,
this deponent, meaning "We," knoweth not; and so, we're like
Brer Rabbit, who lay low and said nothin'. Brer Wolf sezzee were
kinder sorry he was unable to go Satterday arternoon for to hear
Brer Fox's new Opera, Nydia, the Blind Girl.

Friday.—Don Giovanni.—Madame Dotti, in taking the role of
Donna Anna, " took the cake." Not going " a bit dotty," but in
excellent form.

Be-Ltttler - ing Mr. Gladstone's Majority.—Not that the
G._0. M. is "coming of age in the olden times,"—as somebody's

picture has it,—but that he is coming in
with a mixed Majority of atoms difficult
to be assimilated. This much exercises the
wigorous brain of Mr. It. D. M. Littler,
O..C. writing to the Times. Of course
R. D. M. Littler, Q,.C.—which initials,
being interpreted, may mean, "Railway
Directors' Man "—is the Conservativest of
Conservatives—"but that's another Tory,"
as one may say, adapting Rudyard Kip-
ling's phrase,—and, difficult as the G. O.M.
may find it to get on with the aid of a Little Majority, he couldn't
get on any better with the aid of a Littler.

Note.—The Guide to Wild West Kensington should announce the
objects of interest in this Buffalo Bill Show, not as " classified," but
"Codyfied."