DOI issue:
October 1, 1892
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0150
October 1, 1892.] PUNCH, OH THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 145
STUMPED
{A would-be laudatory Ode,
By Jingle Junior.)
[The young Indian Gentle-
man, Mr. H. Kanjitsinhji,
has "secured his century" at
Cricket no less than eleven times
this season.]
0 He S. Ranjtt—(spelling a
wild venture is!)
Wielder of willow, runner-up
of "centuries"!
What's in a name ? A name
like Ranjitsin—
{Can't finish it, was foolish
to begin!)
How many miles was it you
ran, 0 Ran—
(Bowled out again. Am sorry
I began')
In running out those hun-
dreds, Ranjitsinghj—
(A man were a patched fool,
a perfect ninny,
Who 'd try to spell that name,
Ask Bully Bottom.')
With such a name to carry,
how you got 'em,
0 Ranj—(that sounds like
Orange !) — those same
"notches "
Is quite a wonder. Were
they'' bowls " or'' cotches "
That got you out at last,
those times eleven ?
(Where is Grace now ? He
has not scored one even,
This season, though as close
as ninety-nine to it.)
Applause has greeted you;
let me add mine to it,
0 Ran-jxt-sin-hji ! (Those
last three letters
What do they spell ?) Ortho-
graphy's cold fetters
Shan't chill my admiration,
IMMUNITIES OF THE SEA-SIDE.
'1 Come under the Umbrella, Jack, It's begun to Rain, and you'll
catch Cold, and Mamma'll be vexed !"
"Pooh ! As if Salt Water ever gave one Cold I"
HEALTH AND
HOPPINESS.
[It is reported that the latest
move is for ladies to combine
profit and pleasure by going
" hopping."]
Fair Woman longs for
novelty,
Her daily task is apt to
cloy her, [to be
The pastimes that were wont
Diverting now do but
annoy her. [spent,
The common joys of life are
So tired of tennis, shooting,
shopping,
She turns in her despair to
Kent,
And tries her 'prentice
hand at_hopping.
Now girls whom you would
scarce believe
Would not turn up their
nose at soiling
Their dainty hands, to dewy
eve
From early morn keep ever
toiling. [hair,
There's Ethel of the golden
Who > flutters through
existence gaily
(Her father is amillionnaire),
Hops hard and does her
twelve hours daily.
Then pretty Maud, with
laughing eyes,
Who hardly knew what
daily wage meant,
To everybody's great surprise
Proceeds to cut this, that
engagement.
Amid the vines she daily
goes,
And picks till weary rin-
smart young Hindoo! gers tingle,
Say, did you smite a sixer through a window,
Like Slogger TnoRNTON in his boyish prime,
0 Ranjitsinhji ? Got it this time
That is, it spelt all right. E'en admiration
Shan't tempt me to attempt pronunciation !
Eleven centuries we to Indian skill owe !
Will the East lick the West at its own
"Willow?"
Here's luck to India and young Ran—Och,
murther!
Ran-jit-sin-sin—How's that / Out P Can't
get further !
u
'Oh No, we never Mention It."—The
Kendals have got a Play by a young American
Author with the very uncompromising name
of Dam. He, or his Play, may be Dam good,
or just the reverse : still, if he does turn out
to be the "big, big D," then all the Dam
family, such as Amsterdam, Rotterdam,
Sdhiedam, and so forth, will be real proud of
him. Future Dams will revere him as their
worthy ancestral sire, and American Dam may
become naturalised among us (we have a lot of
English ones quite a specialite in that line, so
the French say), and become Dam-nationa-
lised. What fame if the piece is successful,
and Dam is on every tongue ! So will it be
too, if unsuccessful. Englishmen will welcome
the new American playright with the name
unmentionable to ears polite, and will re-
cognise in him, as the Dam par excellence,
their brother, as one of the uncommon des-
cendants of A-dam. By the way, the appro-
priate night for its production would be
Christmas Eve. Fancy the cries all over the
House, calling for the successful Author !!
(In the Heading-room of the Bernerhof.)
Although thy name is wrongly spelt
Upon thy case, what joy I felt
To find a place where thou hast dwelt,
My $unfct)!
Yet wit and wisdom, even thine,
Can't wake up Berne, where folks supine
All go to bed at half-past nine,
My Vunfcfj'.
What art or jokes could entertain,
Such sleepy people ? True, they feign
It's later, for they say " halb zehn"
My ^unfcl;!
My German " Punsch," what gender thine ?
They who accept, likewise decline,
" Das Weib " might feminine assign—
JDte $uttftf;!
No matter which, if I behold
Thy pages, worth their weight in gold—
It's true they're more than three weeks old,
My $Punfc$!
An Odd Fellow Out.—The Church-break-
ing thief {ride the Standard's provincial news)
who was arrested at Oswestry (fitting that a
Church-thief should have been arrested by
Os-Westry-men—which sounds like a body
of mounted ecclesiastical police), explained
that he was a '' monumental mason of Dublin."
Perhaps the Jury will find him monu-men-
tally deranged.
The sweetest music now she knows
Is hearing hard-earned sovereigns jingle.
This latest move, it's very true,_
Appears to be a rather rum thing,
But yet for idle hands to do
We know that Someone will find some-
thing.
Will fashionable hopping last ?
Well, this it's safe to lay your cash on,
Before another year has passed
There '11 be another female fashion.
Vive la Rain du Ballet a l'Alhambra !
—"Certainly," says Mr. John Hollings-
head, "Ve've la rain. It comes pouring
down on the stage, and the people come pour-
ing in to see it. I suppose," says he, " they '11
now call me ' The Wetter'un ? " The ballet is
very effective, not a'drop too much, and " not
a drop in the business " in front of the house,
though there is, as is evident, on the stage.
If Manager John liked to quote Shaksbeare
with a difference, in his advertisements, he
might say, " With a hey, ho, the Wind and
the Rain! For the Rain it raineth every
night!" For some time to come this show
will be the raining favourite at the Alhambra.
By the way, the Sheffield Telegraph, describ-
ing the alterations and improvements in front
at the Alhambra, wrote—"The ceiling has
been bevelled with porous plasters so as to hide
the girders." We know that hand :—it's Our
" Mrs. Ramsbotham," and she " comes from
Sheffield." However, "porous plasters"
would be another attraction at the Alhambra,
or anywhere, as they certainly ought to draw.
vol. cm.
o
STUMPED
{A would-be laudatory Ode,
By Jingle Junior.)
[The young Indian Gentle-
man, Mr. H. Kanjitsinhji,
has "secured his century" at
Cricket no less than eleven times
this season.]
0 He S. Ranjtt—(spelling a
wild venture is!)
Wielder of willow, runner-up
of "centuries"!
What's in a name ? A name
like Ranjitsin—
{Can't finish it, was foolish
to begin!)
How many miles was it you
ran, 0 Ran—
(Bowled out again. Am sorry
I began')
In running out those hun-
dreds, Ranjitsinghj—
(A man were a patched fool,
a perfect ninny,
Who 'd try to spell that name,
Ask Bully Bottom.')
With such a name to carry,
how you got 'em,
0 Ranj—(that sounds like
Orange !) — those same
"notches "
Is quite a wonder. Were
they'' bowls " or'' cotches "
That got you out at last,
those times eleven ?
(Where is Grace now ? He
has not scored one even,
This season, though as close
as ninety-nine to it.)
Applause has greeted you;
let me add mine to it,
0 Ran-jxt-sin-hji ! (Those
last three letters
What do they spell ?) Ortho-
graphy's cold fetters
Shan't chill my admiration,
IMMUNITIES OF THE SEA-SIDE.
'1 Come under the Umbrella, Jack, It's begun to Rain, and you'll
catch Cold, and Mamma'll be vexed !"
"Pooh ! As if Salt Water ever gave one Cold I"
HEALTH AND
HOPPINESS.
[It is reported that the latest
move is for ladies to combine
profit and pleasure by going
" hopping."]
Fair Woman longs for
novelty,
Her daily task is apt to
cloy her, [to be
The pastimes that were wont
Diverting now do but
annoy her. [spent,
The common joys of life are
So tired of tennis, shooting,
shopping,
She turns in her despair to
Kent,
And tries her 'prentice
hand at_hopping.
Now girls whom you would
scarce believe
Would not turn up their
nose at soiling
Their dainty hands, to dewy
eve
From early morn keep ever
toiling. [hair,
There's Ethel of the golden
Who > flutters through
existence gaily
(Her father is amillionnaire),
Hops hard and does her
twelve hours daily.
Then pretty Maud, with
laughing eyes,
Who hardly knew what
daily wage meant,
To everybody's great surprise
Proceeds to cut this, that
engagement.
Amid the vines she daily
goes,
And picks till weary rin-
smart young Hindoo! gers tingle,
Say, did you smite a sixer through a window,
Like Slogger TnoRNTON in his boyish prime,
0 Ranjitsinhji ? Got it this time
That is, it spelt all right. E'en admiration
Shan't tempt me to attempt pronunciation !
Eleven centuries we to Indian skill owe !
Will the East lick the West at its own
"Willow?"
Here's luck to India and young Ran—Och,
murther!
Ran-jit-sin-sin—How's that / Out P Can't
get further !
u
'Oh No, we never Mention It."—The
Kendals have got a Play by a young American
Author with the very uncompromising name
of Dam. He, or his Play, may be Dam good,
or just the reverse : still, if he does turn out
to be the "big, big D," then all the Dam
family, such as Amsterdam, Rotterdam,
Sdhiedam, and so forth, will be real proud of
him. Future Dams will revere him as their
worthy ancestral sire, and American Dam may
become naturalised among us (we have a lot of
English ones quite a specialite in that line, so
the French say), and become Dam-nationa-
lised. What fame if the piece is successful,
and Dam is on every tongue ! So will it be
too, if unsuccessful. Englishmen will welcome
the new American playright with the name
unmentionable to ears polite, and will re-
cognise in him, as the Dam par excellence,
their brother, as one of the uncommon des-
cendants of A-dam. By the way, the appro-
priate night for its production would be
Christmas Eve. Fancy the cries all over the
House, calling for the successful Author !!
(In the Heading-room of the Bernerhof.)
Although thy name is wrongly spelt
Upon thy case, what joy I felt
To find a place where thou hast dwelt,
My $unfct)!
Yet wit and wisdom, even thine,
Can't wake up Berne, where folks supine
All go to bed at half-past nine,
My Vunfcfj'.
What art or jokes could entertain,
Such sleepy people ? True, they feign
It's later, for they say " halb zehn"
My ^unfcl;!
My German " Punsch," what gender thine ?
They who accept, likewise decline,
" Das Weib " might feminine assign—
JDte $uttftf;!
No matter which, if I behold
Thy pages, worth their weight in gold—
It's true they're more than three weeks old,
My $Punfc$!
An Odd Fellow Out.—The Church-break-
ing thief {ride the Standard's provincial news)
who was arrested at Oswestry (fitting that a
Church-thief should have been arrested by
Os-Westry-men—which sounds like a body
of mounted ecclesiastical police), explained
that he was a '' monumental mason of Dublin."
Perhaps the Jury will find him monu-men-
tally deranged.
The sweetest music now she knows
Is hearing hard-earned sovereigns jingle.
This latest move, it's very true,_
Appears to be a rather rum thing,
But yet for idle hands to do
We know that Someone will find some-
thing.
Will fashionable hopping last ?
Well, this it's safe to lay your cash on,
Before another year has passed
There '11 be another female fashion.
Vive la Rain du Ballet a l'Alhambra !
—"Certainly," says Mr. John Hollings-
head, "Ve've la rain. It comes pouring
down on the stage, and the people come pour-
ing in to see it. I suppose," says he, " they '11
now call me ' The Wetter'un ? " The ballet is
very effective, not a'drop too much, and " not
a drop in the business " in front of the house,
though there is, as is evident, on the stage.
If Manager John liked to quote Shaksbeare
with a difference, in his advertisements, he
might say, " With a hey, ho, the Wind and
the Rain! For the Rain it raineth every
night!" For some time to come this show
will be the raining favourite at the Alhambra.
By the way, the Sheffield Telegraph, describ-
ing the alterations and improvements in front
at the Alhambra, wrote—"The ceiling has
been bevelled with porous plasters so as to hide
the girders." We know that hand :—it's Our
" Mrs. Ramsbotham," and she " comes from
Sheffield." However, "porous plasters"
would be another attraction at the Alhambra,
or anywhere, as they certainly ought to draw.
vol. cm.
o