Punch (103.1892)

November 19, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI 231

He soars with proudly swelling crest

And followed with acclaims,
A cause of wonder in the West,

And crowing hy the Thames.
For England, glorying in the sight,

Greets Boy and Bird together ;
Whilst watching with serene delight

That hig, black, falling feather!

they ushally is. At my pertickler tahel, the
two gents at the top was that trubblesum
about the reel Turtel-soup as T ain't a tall

him, and when I took it to the himpashent
Gent, and told him so, he fairly roared with
larfter, and told it all round as a capital joke !

ROBERT ON LORD

MARE'S DAY.

The most ewentfoollest
day of the hole year broke,
as the poets says, without
almost not no fog, on
Wensday larst, to my grate
serprise and joy; butnoing,
from long xperiens, how
unsertain is whether at this
orful seasun of the year, I
took jest one leetel glass of
hold brandy before setting
out on my arjus dootys.
1 was encurraged to do so
also by the horful rumers
as was spread about, weeks
afore, as to threttend ataeks
on the sacred Show by
some disapintedprottestens.
I think they called their -
selves, as hadn't bin in-
wited to the Bankwet, and
so meant to prottest accord-
ingly.

But I needn't a bin
alarmd, for the most re-
spekful mob as filled the
streets was as quiet as mice,
havin heard, I'm told, as
how as the Coppera shun had
had the lectric light turned
on at Gildhall, by which
means, of course, they coud
comunicate with any -
wheres, and so know where
to send, an hole army of
Waiters to, well fortyfide,
and armed to the teeth
with a splendid Lunch,
to help the pore Perlice in
their arjus dootys.

From wot I seed' of the
butifool Sho, I shood give
the cake to the Frute-
Makers' splendid Car, all
covered with the most buti-
fool Frute, all made, too, in
England, as it trewthfoolly
said on both sides of the
high - backed Car. The
second plaice I shood give
to the numerus butifool
young Ladys, with most
butifool flaxin air, all most
bisily ingaged in a twist-
lin and a twiddlin of
luvly gold and silver wire,
on a Car belongin to the
Makers of Gold and Silver t
Wire Drorers, wich I '~

heard a most respectfool carpenter declare, I and acshally forked of sending for the souper-
must, he thort, be most uncomferal to wear, j intendent, ewidently not knowing who I was.
With that good fortun as allers atends the j The same himpashent Gent amost worried
Hed Waiter, I seem to have atracted the [ my life out arterwards, and all about a glass

accumstumed to, and I amost poured a hole j 1 wanders where the joke was.
ladel-full down the fine shirt-front of one of i When the dinner was over and the speaches
em; and then,,trying at the next help to awoid , began, I got permishun to stand unner the
him, I sent my helbow full into the face of , gallery for to hear them; but strange to tell,
the other, and a^pretty fuss he made, you bet, I not a word coud I hear, and them as I did

hear I coudn't unnerstand.
So I began for to fear as
crewel age was a tarnishing
of my'earrings, so I moved
to the other end of the 'All
jest in time for to hear a
werry dark but gennel-
manly young f eller, as was
called the Gayqueer, or
some such woaderfool
name, and who, I was told,
come all the way from
Indier, make sitch a grand
and nobel speach, and in
quite as good Inglish as
ewen I coud use, as got
him more applorse from
the distinguish hordiens
than all the speaches maid
by HerMadjesty's Ministers
put together. Always
xceptin the Lawyers, for
they seems to have sitch a
jolly good time of it. that
they are allers as reddy to
cause a larf as to enjoy
one. We all seemed sum-
how to miss the werry
Prime Minister—we are
all so acustomd to see the
werry top of the tree, that
we don't quite like being
put off with a mere bow,
however big and himport-
ant it may be; besides, I
must confess as I do like to
hear his luvly woice, ewen
when 1 don't quite unner-
stand all as he says. So
I don't suppose as any one
of my numerus readers
will quarrel with me when
I says, better luck nex

time- Robert.

CANDID CRITICISM.

"Like my New Frock, Aunt Jane?"

"Well, / should say you'd got Skirts for your Sleeves, and a Sleeve
for your Skirt ! "

Proofs before Letters.

Humbugs will always ape

their betters,
Fools fancy the alphabet

brings them fame;
But you don't become a

man of letters
By tacking the letters

after your name.
One suffix only the fact

expresses,
And that's an A and a

couple of S's!

notis of one of the most butifool of the young
Ladys afoursaid, for she acshally tossed me a
luvly littel bit of reel golden wire, which I
shalltrezure nex my art for years, if so be as
how it don't skratch.

The grand Bankwet, with its nine hunderd
Gestes, was as ushal, about the grandest

Another _ Meaning.—
I Rantzau is the title of
Mascagni's new Opera. The
title, anglicised, would be suitable for an
old - fashioned transpontine melodramatic
tragedian, who could certainly say of him-
self, "Irani so!"

of plane water as he called it, and when I told
him as I didn't think as we hadn't not none
in the plaice, but T coud get him a bottel of
amost any kind of Shampane as he liked to
name ; he again said as he wood call for the
souperintendent. So in course I had to go for
some, and a preshus long time it took me to teacher ?
thing of the kind as the world has ever seen, I get it; the wine-steward naterally sayin as Answer. When Petruchio kissed her; be-
but sumhows it struck me as the gents was he never before herd of sieh a order on sich cause then she was a Kattie Kissed. (Hem!
much more impashent for their wittles than | a ocasion, and he had only one bottel with | A Cate-chist.)

Shakspearian Conundrum.

At what time would Shakspeare's heroine
of The Taming of the Shrew have been emi-
nently fitted to be a modern Sunday-School