DOI Heft:
December 10, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0272
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December 10, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
267
THE EHODES COLOSSUS. PRACTICAL THEOSOPHY.
[" Mr. Rhodes announced that it was his intention, either with the help Mrs. Besant is said to have told a representative of a daily paper,
of his friends or by himself, to continue the telegraph northwards, across the ; that " ail adept in Theosophy uses his supernatural powers solely for
Zambesi, through Nyassaland, and along Lake Tanganyika to Uganda. Nor j his own convenience, just as ordinary people avail themselves of a
messenger, or the telephone or telegraph."
We have it on the very best of authority that the discharge of
handbills from aerial bombs is to be entirely surpassed as a method for
advertising a commodity, by a new and protected process.
" A Company is being formed," so runs the prospectus, " for the
express purpose of importing Mahatmas of the very best vintage
(guaranteed extra sec), direct from Thibet, where an exceptionally
luxuriant crop has been produced during past years.
"They will be shipped
to any port in the United
Kingdom, and delivered to
any address, carriage free,
at prices which will com-
pare most favourably with
those quoted by foreign
firms for inferior articles.
"The trade supplied by
special contract.
'' They will prove invalu-
able to advertisers and
others.
"No family should be
without one. Order early.
"They can be used for
a variety of purposes; but
they will be found most
particularly serviceable for
distributing handbills and
posters, especially in inac-
cessible places.
" Domestic servants en-
tirely superseded by them.
"Prompt and accurate
delivery of any object may
be effected by their agency,
owing to their marvellous
powers of precipitation.
"Full instructions for
working, and instruments
for repairing, supplied with
each specimen.
" Not liable to get out of
order.
" Safe in the hands of a
child. Yet they are not toys.
"Procurable of any re-
spectable Lunatic Asylum.
"Ask for Our Brand,
and see that you get none
other.
"Beware of worthless
foreign imitations, which
dishonest dealers will try
to foist upon you.
" Of Mahatmas young, and
Mahatmas old,
Of Mahatmas meek, and
Mahatmas bold,
is this all. . . . This colossal Monte Cristo means to cross tbe Soudan
and to complete the overland telegraph line from Cape Town to Cairo ; that
is, from England to the whole of her possessions or colonies, or ' spheres of
influence ' in Africa."—The Times..]
The World's Seven Wonders are surely outshone!
On Marvel World's billows 'twill toss us—'twill toss us,
To watch him, Director and Statesman in one,
This Seven-League-Booted Colossus—Colossus!
Combining in one super-
natural blend
Plain Commerce and
Imagination—gination;
O'er Africa striding from
dark end to end,
To forward black emanci-
pation—eipation.
Brobdingnagian Bagman,
big Dreamer of Dreams,
A Titan of tact and
shrewd trader—shrewd
trader!
A diplomat full of finesse
and sharp schemes,
With a touch of the pious
Crusader—Crusader!
A " Dealer " with despots,
a " Squarer " of Kings,
A jumper of mountain,
lake, wilderness, wady,
And manager 'cute of
such troublesome things
As Lobengula or the
MAHDi-the Mahdi.
Well may Abercorn won-
der and Fife tootle
praise,
His two thousand hearers
raise cheering — raise
cheering.
Of wild would-be Scuttlers
he proves the mad craze,
And of Governments
prone to small-beering
—small-beering.
Sullen Boers may prove
bores to a man of less
tact,
A duffer funk wiles Por-
tuguesy—tuguesy;
But Dutchmen, black po-
tentates, all sorts, in
fact,
To Ehodes the astute
come quite easy—quite
easy.
A HEARTY WELCOME.
Local Flyman (who also officiates at Funerals). " Mornin', Sir. Glad to see
you otjt again 1 really thought I should 'a' had the honour of drivin'
you to the Cemetery, Sir ! "
The British South-African Company's shares
May be at a discount—(Trade-martyrs !—trade-martyrs !)
But he, our Colossus, strides on, he declares,
Whether with or without chums or charters—or charters.
Hooray! We brave Britons are still to the front—
Provided we've someone to boss us—to boss us ;
And Scuttlers will ha ve_ their work cut out to shunt
This stalwart, far-striding Colossus—Colossus!
Of Mahatmas gentle, and Mahatmas rough,
We lay long odds that we '11 sell enough."
The financial column of the Journal of the Future, we may expect,
will read somewhat as follows:—"Mahatmas opened weak, but
slowly advanced a third. Later they, became stronger, and closed
firm at 8j. Latest—Mahatmas fell rapidly."
Tempora mutantur, ?ios et mutamur in illis.
Charity begins Abroad.—The following advertisement (which
recently appeared in the Times) has been sent for solution:—
T™' > J?01*™. AI™. Sf™G CLAUSE- -r2/:0/0^ 0f £U \ n ENTLEMAN, with knowledge of business and disposing of 100,000 francs,
article in the Times on this subject, and a paragraph of Mr. Punch's, j (J- ig desirous ^ REPRESENTING, either in Europe, Africa, America, or
last week, anent Hoardings," we may now put a supplementary | elsewhere, a serious FIRM, capable of giving important profits. Offers to be
question in this form, As Government taxes Savings, would it not addressed &c
be quite consistent to tax Hoardings f» Since the answer must j J t; tUg al M Punch b to that .. the tle_
logically, be in the affirmative, let Government begin at once with man knowiedge of business" seems to be anxious to act as an
all the Hoardings displaying any kind of hideous pietonall Uer ego to a sergioug (not a jocular) firm .< capable of giving.
advertisement. _ profits." "Gentleman" does not specify, whose profits the
serious firm is capable of giving, and thus it may be presumed
"He rumbles so in his conversation," observed Mrs. R. of an: that the 100,000 francs would form the capital with which the
orator whose sentences were considerably involved, "that I can charitable transaction would be conducted. This is the more
seldom catch the grist of what he says." | probable as " Gentleman " says he knows how to dispose of them.
December 10, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
267
THE EHODES COLOSSUS. PRACTICAL THEOSOPHY.
[" Mr. Rhodes announced that it was his intention, either with the help Mrs. Besant is said to have told a representative of a daily paper,
of his friends or by himself, to continue the telegraph northwards, across the ; that " ail adept in Theosophy uses his supernatural powers solely for
Zambesi, through Nyassaland, and along Lake Tanganyika to Uganda. Nor j his own convenience, just as ordinary people avail themselves of a
messenger, or the telephone or telegraph."
We have it on the very best of authority that the discharge of
handbills from aerial bombs is to be entirely surpassed as a method for
advertising a commodity, by a new and protected process.
" A Company is being formed," so runs the prospectus, " for the
express purpose of importing Mahatmas of the very best vintage
(guaranteed extra sec), direct from Thibet, where an exceptionally
luxuriant crop has been produced during past years.
"They will be shipped
to any port in the United
Kingdom, and delivered to
any address, carriage free,
at prices which will com-
pare most favourably with
those quoted by foreign
firms for inferior articles.
"The trade supplied by
special contract.
'' They will prove invalu-
able to advertisers and
others.
"No family should be
without one. Order early.
"They can be used for
a variety of purposes; but
they will be found most
particularly serviceable for
distributing handbills and
posters, especially in inac-
cessible places.
" Domestic servants en-
tirely superseded by them.
"Prompt and accurate
delivery of any object may
be effected by their agency,
owing to their marvellous
powers of precipitation.
"Full instructions for
working, and instruments
for repairing, supplied with
each specimen.
" Not liable to get out of
order.
" Safe in the hands of a
child. Yet they are not toys.
"Procurable of any re-
spectable Lunatic Asylum.
"Ask for Our Brand,
and see that you get none
other.
"Beware of worthless
foreign imitations, which
dishonest dealers will try
to foist upon you.
" Of Mahatmas young, and
Mahatmas old,
Of Mahatmas meek, and
Mahatmas bold,
is this all. . . . This colossal Monte Cristo means to cross tbe Soudan
and to complete the overland telegraph line from Cape Town to Cairo ; that
is, from England to the whole of her possessions or colonies, or ' spheres of
influence ' in Africa."—The Times..]
The World's Seven Wonders are surely outshone!
On Marvel World's billows 'twill toss us—'twill toss us,
To watch him, Director and Statesman in one,
This Seven-League-Booted Colossus—Colossus!
Combining in one super-
natural blend
Plain Commerce and
Imagination—gination;
O'er Africa striding from
dark end to end,
To forward black emanci-
pation—eipation.
Brobdingnagian Bagman,
big Dreamer of Dreams,
A Titan of tact and
shrewd trader—shrewd
trader!
A diplomat full of finesse
and sharp schemes,
With a touch of the pious
Crusader—Crusader!
A " Dealer " with despots,
a " Squarer " of Kings,
A jumper of mountain,
lake, wilderness, wady,
And manager 'cute of
such troublesome things
As Lobengula or the
MAHDi-the Mahdi.
Well may Abercorn won-
der and Fife tootle
praise,
His two thousand hearers
raise cheering — raise
cheering.
Of wild would-be Scuttlers
he proves the mad craze,
And of Governments
prone to small-beering
—small-beering.
Sullen Boers may prove
bores to a man of less
tact,
A duffer funk wiles Por-
tuguesy—tuguesy;
But Dutchmen, black po-
tentates, all sorts, in
fact,
To Ehodes the astute
come quite easy—quite
easy.
A HEARTY WELCOME.
Local Flyman (who also officiates at Funerals). " Mornin', Sir. Glad to see
you otjt again 1 really thought I should 'a' had the honour of drivin'
you to the Cemetery, Sir ! "
The British South-African Company's shares
May be at a discount—(Trade-martyrs !—trade-martyrs !)
But he, our Colossus, strides on, he declares,
Whether with or without chums or charters—or charters.
Hooray! We brave Britons are still to the front—
Provided we've someone to boss us—to boss us ;
And Scuttlers will ha ve_ their work cut out to shunt
This stalwart, far-striding Colossus—Colossus!
Of Mahatmas gentle, and Mahatmas rough,
We lay long odds that we '11 sell enough."
The financial column of the Journal of the Future, we may expect,
will read somewhat as follows:—"Mahatmas opened weak, but
slowly advanced a third. Later they, became stronger, and closed
firm at 8j. Latest—Mahatmas fell rapidly."
Tempora mutantur, ?ios et mutamur in illis.
Charity begins Abroad.—The following advertisement (which
recently appeared in the Times) has been sent for solution:—
T™' > J?01*™. AI™. Sf™G CLAUSE- -r2/:0/0^ 0f £U \ n ENTLEMAN, with knowledge of business and disposing of 100,000 francs,
article in the Times on this subject, and a paragraph of Mr. Punch's, j (J- ig desirous ^ REPRESENTING, either in Europe, Africa, America, or
last week, anent Hoardings," we may now put a supplementary | elsewhere, a serious FIRM, capable of giving important profits. Offers to be
question in this form, As Government taxes Savings, would it not addressed &c
be quite consistent to tax Hoardings f» Since the answer must j J t; tUg al M Punch b to that .. the tle_
logically, be in the affirmative, let Government begin at once with man knowiedge of business" seems to be anxious to act as an
all the Hoardings displaying any kind of hideous pietonall Uer ego to a sergioug (not a jocular) firm .< capable of giving.
advertisement. _ profits." "Gentleman" does not specify, whose profits the
serious firm is capable of giving, and thus it may be presumed
"He rumbles so in his conversation," observed Mrs. R. of an: that the 100,000 francs would form the capital with which the
orator whose sentences were considerably involved, "that I can charitable transaction would be conducted. This is the more
seldom catch the grist of what he says." | probable as " Gentleman " says he knows how to dispose of them.