DOI issue:
October 20, 1883
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17755#0194
182
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October 20, 1883.
POT AND KETTLE.
(A New Version.)
Pot. I ? Oh, nothing, of course. Go to—Bangor,
And just ask the Dean what he thinks about tea-drinking. Talk
of my doings ?
What are they compared with the woes that are wrought by
your worse than witch-brewings ?
Kettle. Mine ?
Pot. Yes; you and the teapot between you are simply
upsetting creation.
Kettle. What, I and the cup that--
Pot. Oh! come now, enough of that
stale old quotation
From maudlin emasculate Cowpek, it’s blown on, played out.
Bless you, Pekoe
More mischief has wrought in this world than all strong drinks
from Four-half to Clicquot,
And Gunpowder Tea’s worse than Dynamite, looked at as one
of the forces
That aid Revolution and Murder—the Dean my opinion endorses.
Kettle. The Dean he-
Pot. Exactly. That’s just it; profanity coarse, anti-clerical!
Regular Communist, you are ; result of the weakness hysterical
Caused by all dealings with Tea, which is simply distilled con-
demnation,
[The Dean of Bangor says, that if he had his own way there would be
much less tea-drinking among people of all classes. Excessive tea-drinking
created a generation of nervous, discontented people, who were for ever com-
plaining of the existing order of the Universe, scolding their neighbours,
and sighing after the impossible. In fact, he suspected that over-much tea-
drinking, by destroying the calmness of the nerves, was acting as a dangerous
revolutionary force among us. The tea-kettle went before the gin-bottle,
and the physical and nervous weakness that had its origin in the bad cookery
of an ignorant wife, ended in ruin, intemperance, and disease.]
“ Kettle began it.”—Dickens’s Cricket on the Hearth.
Kettle (turning up its Spout contemptuously). You horrible, mis-
chievous creature! You pewter-built Borgia, get o-ut
with you!
Before very long, Saints be praised! our Sir Wilfrid will finish
his bout with you;
And then-
Pot (frothing over ivith wrath). Oh ! now come, this is cool! Who
are you calling Borgia ? Blow you !
You, who heat the Brinvilliers to fits! Ah! it’s time honest
people should know you,
You false mollycoddling old Mawworm.
Kettle (,sputtering). Ah ! always abusive in anger.
What have you to say against me ?
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October 20, 1883.
POT AND KETTLE.
(A New Version.)
Pot. I ? Oh, nothing, of course. Go to—Bangor,
And just ask the Dean what he thinks about tea-drinking. Talk
of my doings ?
What are they compared with the woes that are wrought by
your worse than witch-brewings ?
Kettle. Mine ?
Pot. Yes; you and the teapot between you are simply
upsetting creation.
Kettle. What, I and the cup that--
Pot. Oh! come now, enough of that
stale old quotation
From maudlin emasculate Cowpek, it’s blown on, played out.
Bless you, Pekoe
More mischief has wrought in this world than all strong drinks
from Four-half to Clicquot,
And Gunpowder Tea’s worse than Dynamite, looked at as one
of the forces
That aid Revolution and Murder—the Dean my opinion endorses.
Kettle. The Dean he-
Pot. Exactly. That’s just it; profanity coarse, anti-clerical!
Regular Communist, you are ; result of the weakness hysterical
Caused by all dealings with Tea, which is simply distilled con-
demnation,
[The Dean of Bangor says, that if he had his own way there would be
much less tea-drinking among people of all classes. Excessive tea-drinking
created a generation of nervous, discontented people, who were for ever com-
plaining of the existing order of the Universe, scolding their neighbours,
and sighing after the impossible. In fact, he suspected that over-much tea-
drinking, by destroying the calmness of the nerves, was acting as a dangerous
revolutionary force among us. The tea-kettle went before the gin-bottle,
and the physical and nervous weakness that had its origin in the bad cookery
of an ignorant wife, ended in ruin, intemperance, and disease.]
“ Kettle began it.”—Dickens’s Cricket on the Hearth.
Kettle (turning up its Spout contemptuously). You horrible, mis-
chievous creature! You pewter-built Borgia, get o-ut
with you!
Before very long, Saints be praised! our Sir Wilfrid will finish
his bout with you;
And then-
Pot (frothing over ivith wrath). Oh ! now come, this is cool! Who
are you calling Borgia ? Blow you !
You, who heat the Brinvilliers to fits! Ah! it’s time honest
people should know you,
You false mollycoddling old Mawworm.
Kettle (,sputtering). Ah ! always abusive in anger.
What have you to say against me ?