DOI Heft:
November 24, 1883
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17755#0253
js'uvkmhhh 24, isst] PUNCH, UR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
241
PUTTING HIM AT HIS EASE.
She. “ And I suppose you went in tremendously fop. Athletics, at
Oxbridge ? ”
He {much pleased). “ Well—er—no—I’m afraid I’m rather Lazy, y7ou
know !”
November 5th.—The great day has arrived, and I have
seen him ! He was propjied up on the window-sill as
arranged. I never saw anything more grotesque and
amusing in my life ! He quite realised my anticipations !
Much funnier than a wooden puppet, and just as help-
less. He had his feet hanging down, and his toes turned
in, just as I had seen them in the pictures! I hurried
over my prayers, and had him brought in. Raghib Bey
acted as interpreter. I asked him if he thought we
should have a fine night for the ceremony ? He replied,
through the interpreter, that he thought that there was
just enough wind to blow the smoke away. I explained
to him how deeply I regretted that 1 should not be able
to he present when they lighted up. He replied, that
after all there was not much to he seen so far as he
personally was concerned. One celebration was much
the same as another. So with a bonfire. Put anything
into it, and it soon loses its individuality. I admitted
that this was the case, and to change an awkward subject
(although I must declare that it seemed to give Mm no
distress), asked him if he had brought his lantern with
him. He replied, “Ho;” that as he had got the old
original, he thought it best not to bring it. So it is
left at the Bodleian Library, Oxford. Asked him why
he was secured to his chair when he went out for a
ride? He answered that it was an English custom,
and prevented unanticipated ejectments. Expressed my
surprise that he was not more gorgeously costumed
— he was wearing a plain tourist’s suit. He said that
any old clothes would do for his purpose—that it would I
be a pity to w7ork in his best. Upon this, I said, to make j
him look a little grander, I would confer upon him the
order of the Medjidie, second class. Bather extrava-
gant this ! However, my visitor seemed pleased, and soon
after took his leave. On bidding him adieu, I wished
him a fine night for ihe interesting ceremony.
November 6th.—I can scarcely write for rage ! How-
ever, I have had the whole of the Cabinet sewn up in
sacks, and thrown into the Bosphorus ! 1 will teach them
to impose upon me ! Eaghib Bey, who acted as inter-
preter, has taken to flight. Very wise of him ! I have
just seen a translation of the Times' account of my
interview with the Anglo-Frenchman! The audacity
of the thing! 1 am actually rejresented as talking
politics with a person who 1 was given to understand
had been brought all the way to Constantinople that I
might see him before he was burned us a Guy Faux on
the 5th of November !
“OUR OWI CORRESPONDENT ” AND THE SULTAN.
(Extracts from ,.he Diary of his Majesty.)
Nor-ember 1st.—Weiss Pasha has just informed me that the Unselfish Repre-
sentative will arrive in time for the celebration. He is coming all the way from
Paris by the Eastern Express. So pleased, as I am very curious to see what he is
like. Weiss Pasha says that he is being fed up well, so that he may be nice and
fat for the final ceremony7. He was greatly pleased with the first dinner they
gave him when he entered the train. I am told he wrote columns to a London
paper about the waiters and the napkins. The only thing that disappoints me is
that he should have neglected to have brought Pain or Brock in his suite. How
can the affair go off properly without Fireworks ?
November 2nd.—Philippi Bey has been with me all the morning. It seems
that the Unselfish Representative is not an Englishman by birth, although his
name sounds like an English imprecation—“ Blow7 it! ” This is the more credit-
able. I can understand a native of the country submitting to the terrible sacri-
fice, but that a foreigner should offer himself to undergo so great an inconvenience
seems to me incredible ! However, he is said to be very eccentric, which may
possibly account for this noble act of self-sacrifice.
November 3rd.—Was shown a letter from Lord Dufferin, in wdiich the
British Ambassador expressed a wish that I should be informed of the arrival
of the Unselfish Representative. It is rather perplexing, this semi-official recog-
nition of this painful act of self-abnegation. However, I should be the last
to complain. Here am I about to be as much favoured as if I were living in
Bridgewater or Lewes. I do hope that before he finally disappears there will be a
reallv good explosion.
November 4th.-—It is all arranged, and I am to see him. Philippi Bey has
managed it beautifully7. On my7 way to the Mosque he is to be propped up outside
a window, so that I can have a good look at him. The difficulty7 about the
etiquette of our interview is smoothed over. It appears that he w7ill walk in on
condition that he is permitted to sit down the moment he has entered. Of
course, I am glad of this, as if he had been carried in in his chair by two
persons walking before and behind (his favourite mode of travelling), the breach
of manners might have established an inconvenient precedent. I am looking
forward to tc-morrow!
“ LIKE A CRAB, IT CAN GO BACKWARDS.”
The Times, of November 14, in a curiously ill-tempered
and illogical leader, laid it down as an axiom that “ Men
of sense make up their minds on these subjects (i.e., reli-
gious doubts) at an early age, and it is only rather poor
and narrow7-brained persons who are troubled at thirty7
w7ith any7 question about the form of religion they have
lived under.” It has probably occurred to many persons
that the selection of the age of thirty was singularly7 un-
fortunate, and though prima facie, intended as “ a nasty
one ” for Lord Ripon, it was indirectly a rather severe
commentary on the doings of Dr. Martin Luther, who
certainly did trouble himself considerably “ on these sub-
jects ” from thirty to thirty-seven, and hadn’t quite done
with them at forty. The names of Gavazzi, Blanco
White, and some others will recall themselves to the
memory of those who see that “ Sauce for the Goose,” &c.
In another article on Friday7, the Times, which has
been having quite a little religious dissipation, says :—
“ To this day7 the French workman talks of Protestantism with
the same airy7 ignorance as his forefathers. There is something
English or German in it to his eyes, and he is not far from
believing that a Protestant cannot he a good Frenchman.”
Now, substitute “English Times Leader-writer ” for
“French workman,” and “Roman Catholicism” for
“ Protestantism ; ” substitute also “foreign ” for “ Eng-
lish or Gorman,” and “ Roman Catholic and Englishman ”
for “ Protestant and Frenchman ” et fabula narratur de
Times. The paragraph amended would read thus :—
“ To this day the English Times Leader-writer talks of Roman
Catholicism with the same airy ignorance as his forefathers.
There is something foreign in it to his eyes, and he is not far from
believing that a Roman Catholic cannot be a good Englishman.”
The superior intelligence that directs the ready pens of
the Leader-writers is evidently behind the Times.
241
PUTTING HIM AT HIS EASE.
She. “ And I suppose you went in tremendously fop. Athletics, at
Oxbridge ? ”
He {much pleased). “ Well—er—no—I’m afraid I’m rather Lazy, y7ou
know !”
November 5th.—The great day has arrived, and I have
seen him ! He was propjied up on the window-sill as
arranged. I never saw anything more grotesque and
amusing in my life ! He quite realised my anticipations !
Much funnier than a wooden puppet, and just as help-
less. He had his feet hanging down, and his toes turned
in, just as I had seen them in the pictures! I hurried
over my prayers, and had him brought in. Raghib Bey
acted as interpreter. I asked him if he thought we
should have a fine night for the ceremony ? He replied,
through the interpreter, that he thought that there was
just enough wind to blow the smoke away. I explained
to him how deeply I regretted that 1 should not be able
to he present when they lighted up. He replied, that
after all there was not much to he seen so far as he
personally was concerned. One celebration was much
the same as another. So with a bonfire. Put anything
into it, and it soon loses its individuality. I admitted
that this was the case, and to change an awkward subject
(although I must declare that it seemed to give Mm no
distress), asked him if he had brought his lantern with
him. He replied, “Ho;” that as he had got the old
original, he thought it best not to bring it. So it is
left at the Bodleian Library, Oxford. Asked him why
he was secured to his chair when he went out for a
ride? He answered that it was an English custom,
and prevented unanticipated ejectments. Expressed my
surprise that he was not more gorgeously costumed
— he was wearing a plain tourist’s suit. He said that
any old clothes would do for his purpose—that it would I
be a pity to w7ork in his best. Upon this, I said, to make j
him look a little grander, I would confer upon him the
order of the Medjidie, second class. Bather extrava-
gant this ! However, my visitor seemed pleased, and soon
after took his leave. On bidding him adieu, I wished
him a fine night for ihe interesting ceremony.
November 6th.—I can scarcely write for rage ! How-
ever, I have had the whole of the Cabinet sewn up in
sacks, and thrown into the Bosphorus ! 1 will teach them
to impose upon me ! Eaghib Bey, who acted as inter-
preter, has taken to flight. Very wise of him ! I have
just seen a translation of the Times' account of my
interview with the Anglo-Frenchman! The audacity
of the thing! 1 am actually rejresented as talking
politics with a person who 1 was given to understand
had been brought all the way to Constantinople that I
might see him before he was burned us a Guy Faux on
the 5th of November !
“OUR OWI CORRESPONDENT ” AND THE SULTAN.
(Extracts from ,.he Diary of his Majesty.)
Nor-ember 1st.—Weiss Pasha has just informed me that the Unselfish Repre-
sentative will arrive in time for the celebration. He is coming all the way from
Paris by the Eastern Express. So pleased, as I am very curious to see what he is
like. Weiss Pasha says that he is being fed up well, so that he may be nice and
fat for the final ceremony7. He was greatly pleased with the first dinner they
gave him when he entered the train. I am told he wrote columns to a London
paper about the waiters and the napkins. The only thing that disappoints me is
that he should have neglected to have brought Pain or Brock in his suite. How
can the affair go off properly without Fireworks ?
November 2nd.—Philippi Bey has been with me all the morning. It seems
that the Unselfish Representative is not an Englishman by birth, although his
name sounds like an English imprecation—“ Blow7 it! ” This is the more credit-
able. I can understand a native of the country submitting to the terrible sacri-
fice, but that a foreigner should offer himself to undergo so great an inconvenience
seems to me incredible ! However, he is said to be very eccentric, which may
possibly account for this noble act of self-sacrifice.
November 3rd.—Was shown a letter from Lord Dufferin, in wdiich the
British Ambassador expressed a wish that I should be informed of the arrival
of the Unselfish Representative. It is rather perplexing, this semi-official recog-
nition of this painful act of self-abnegation. However, I should be the last
to complain. Here am I about to be as much favoured as if I were living in
Bridgewater or Lewes. I do hope that before he finally disappears there will be a
reallv good explosion.
November 4th.-—It is all arranged, and I am to see him. Philippi Bey has
managed it beautifully7. On my7 way to the Mosque he is to be propped up outside
a window, so that I can have a good look at him. The difficulty7 about the
etiquette of our interview is smoothed over. It appears that he w7ill walk in on
condition that he is permitted to sit down the moment he has entered. Of
course, I am glad of this, as if he had been carried in in his chair by two
persons walking before and behind (his favourite mode of travelling), the breach
of manners might have established an inconvenient precedent. I am looking
forward to tc-morrow!
“ LIKE A CRAB, IT CAN GO BACKWARDS.”
The Times, of November 14, in a curiously ill-tempered
and illogical leader, laid it down as an axiom that “ Men
of sense make up their minds on these subjects (i.e., reli-
gious doubts) at an early age, and it is only rather poor
and narrow7-brained persons who are troubled at thirty7
w7ith any7 question about the form of religion they have
lived under.” It has probably occurred to many persons
that the selection of the age of thirty was singularly7 un-
fortunate, and though prima facie, intended as “ a nasty
one ” for Lord Ripon, it was indirectly a rather severe
commentary on the doings of Dr. Martin Luther, who
certainly did trouble himself considerably “ on these sub-
jects ” from thirty to thirty-seven, and hadn’t quite done
with them at forty. The names of Gavazzi, Blanco
White, and some others will recall themselves to the
memory of those who see that “ Sauce for the Goose,” &c.
In another article on Friday7, the Times, which has
been having quite a little religious dissipation, says :—
“ To this day7 the French workman talks of Protestantism with
the same airy7 ignorance as his forefathers. There is something
English or German in it to his eyes, and he is not far from
believing that a Protestant cannot he a good Frenchman.”
Now, substitute “English Times Leader-writer ” for
“French workman,” and “Roman Catholicism” for
“ Protestantism ; ” substitute also “foreign ” for “ Eng-
lish or Gorman,” and “ Roman Catholic and Englishman ”
for “ Protestant and Frenchman ” et fabula narratur de
Times. The paragraph amended would read thus :—
“ To this day the English Times Leader-writer talks of Roman
Catholicism with the same airy ignorance as his forefathers.
There is something foreign in it to his eyes, and he is not far from
believing that a Roman Catholic cannot be a good Englishman.”
The superior intelligence that directs the ready pens of
the Leader-writers is evidently behind the Times.