DOI Heft:
November 30, 1889
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17688#0258
November 30, 1889.]
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
253
UNTILED; OR, THE MODERN ASMODEUS.
“ Tres volontiers,” repartit le_demon. “ Yous aimez les tableaux cbangeans : je veux vous contenter.”
Le Diable Boiteux.
XII.
“ Manhood,” my guide remarked,
“ is a great dower,
The hope of iglory, and the prop of
power,
In every prosperous nation.
O’er its displays., the daintiest critic
gloats,
And half its hours a polished world
devotes
Unto its cultivation.
“ With what results ? Our visits of
to-night
Upon that question, friend, should
throw some light.
In the great Titan tussle
Called Civilisation, sense may not
refuse
To recognise the ever-growing
use
Of nerve and brawn and muscle.”
“Incarnate sneer ! ” I said, “ you shoot awry.
To doubt the virtues of virility
Were surely sheer insanity.
Else what the meaning of the athletic rage,
Or that peculiar portent of our age
Called ‘ Muscular Christianity ’ P
“ The running ground and the gymnasium
now
Are adjuncts to the Church. Youth’s noble
brow
Must sweat— or soul will sicken—
If not at labour then, of course, at sport.
The boxing-chamber and the tennis-court,
The idler’s pulses quicken.”
“ Most true!” rejoined the Shadow. “Come
and see
The majesty of muscularity
Crowned in the modern manner ;
Not with the parsley chaplet of the Greek.
A modest champion is as far to seek,
Now, as a stainless banner.”
A curious soene ! Full midnight, and a mob
Of moneyed ruffianism! Purse and fob
Well filled and smartly furnished,
Broadcloth in sable acres ; faces fine
Or brutal, flushed with furious zest and wine,
Bronze cheeks, like copper burnished.
All eyes concentre on two brawny churls,
Whom diplomats and dandies, “Sports” and
_ earls,
Eagerly scan and measure.
Two coarse athletic animals, whose might
Nudely displayed, moves many a brilliant
light
Of learning or of leisure.
“This,” smiled the Shadow, “is the shrine
of Sport!
The monarch Muscle here holds secret- court,
In sinew like to languish.
Whilst wealth and culture find delight acute
In the achievements of the human brute,
Careless of fleshly anguish ?
‘ ‘ It must ennoble manhood to look on
In safety, as in days fools fancied gone,
And watch men pound and batter
Eaces and forms out of all human shape,
Whilst they, the well-dressed watchers, bet
and gape,
And curse and chaff, and chatter.
“ Look at that low-browed peer; no coarser
cub [pub.
E’er ‘ spread himself ’ at a low sporting
See how his fool face flushes
As one grim gladiator makes strong play,
And one, the gentler, vainly strives to stay
Brute blows and fierce bull-rushes !
“ He howls applause, he whom one swashing
blow
Eroma clown’s fist would suddenly lay low.
See there, hard by his shoulder,
A vulgar, vulpine visage, smile-wreathed,
peers,
And whispers hideous hints into his ears—
As base a brute, but bolder !
‘ ‘ Bolder, and, so far, better than the boy
Who finds a frantic, yet effeminate joy
In such fierce mutual mauling
Of venal ruffianism. There are men
Engaged in ‘ manly ’ sport in this shy den,
Though like mad Maenads bawling ! ”
“Mammon and Manhood,” murmured I,
‘ ‘ appear
The twin divinities of this strange sphere.”
“ It sees their mutual action,
Replied my cold companion. ‘ ‘ Mammon rules,
Whilst ‘ Manhood ’ it bewitches and befools,
To their joint satisfaction.
“ Ask any keen expert at modern Sport
What ‘Champions’ are. He’ll answer in a
sort,
If frank, which may surprise you.
That burly brute’s a champion—atlthis game !
Exactly how he won, or stole, that fame
Inquire not, I ’d advise you!
“ At least, not here. Sharp words, and blows,
come quick [trick,
From sleek supporters of the ‘Champion’
When fearing its exposure. [leech
Ask awkward questions, and some lurking
Of the blood- sucking brood upon your speech
May put most summary closure.
‘ ‘ Sport F The true sport of all these greedy
knaves [slaves,
Is pigeon-plucking. They are Swelldom’s
Sycophants soft but sinister ;
They ’re panders and purveyors to the mob
Of affluent noodles; but those gulls they rob
To whose base tastes they minister.
‘ ‘ Mark those two shiny, silent, black-browed
men!
They are the ruling spirits of this den.
Should we their footsteps follow
Into their private room, where, without fuss
Of morals or of manners, they discuss
Their business brutish, hollow;
“ Strange side-lights on the wondrous ‘World
of Sport,’
So popular from clerkdom to the Court,
Our darkness might illuminate.
Shall we ? Nay, from the task I see you shrink.
Such harpy-souls are a foul seething sink,
O’er which ’tis ill to ruminate.”
SASSIETY SMALL-TALK.
(From the “ Twopenny Twaddler.”)
Her Majesty, on her return from Scotland
last week, travelled the greater part of the
way in a railway carriage. The Queen (who
is in excellent health) closed her eyes several
times during the journey.
It is reported in literary circles that Mr.
Smith is writing a life of Mr. Jones, and that
Mr. Jones is engaged on a biography of Mr.
Smith. _
The new Lord Mayor is very popular in
the City, and has given great satisfaction to
his guests at the Mansion House by intro-
ducing turtle soup into the menu of his Lord-
ship’s dinners._
The rumours that Queen Anne died some
years ago has now received confirmation.
This piece of intelligence will be welcome
news to the Historical Research and Investi-
gation Society, of which Mr. Tomkins, the
eminent antiquarian, is the respected Presi-
dent. _
Next week Monday will be followed by
Tuesday, and Thursday be preceded by Wed-
nesday. It has been arranged that Friday
and Saturday shall come before Sunday.
We are authorised to state that the an-
nouncement made in this column some time
since, which we denied, and subsequently
confirmed, is entirely devoid of foundation.
We shall, no doubt, have more to say on this
subject on some future occasion, when the
pressure of news on our space is less than at
present.
A CHEAT SCOTCH TOUR.
See the Tooth Drawing Exhibition atMessrs.
Tooth’s (why not call themselves “The
Teeth” at onceP) Gallery in the Haymarket.
The Firm should be known as “ The Wisdom
Teeth,” since they rarely if ever make a mis-
take in their Show. This time it consists of
over fifty pictures of the Rivers of Scotland,
by Mr. David Farquharson. Notwith-
standing the large number, it is astonishing
the variety to be found in the Collection.
No two pictures are alike; they all have
the impress of being painted on the spot,
and have no “studio-taint” about them,
too often acquired by re-touching a fresh
transcript from Nature in a murky town
painting-room. They are broadly painted,
but with a marvellous knowledge of effect
and feeling for colour. There is such a
wondrous breeziness and reality about them,
that you begin to wish you had come as a
Philibeggar in a kilt, ready to have your
fling, and after “a wee drappit in the ’ee,”
reel out again. We present this little notice
as a contribution of “ Butter Scotch,” and
advise everyone to at once take the Cheap
Scotch Tour, personally conducted by Mr.
David Farqttharson.
Robert de Paris.—At the dejeuner given
by Lord Lytton to H.R.H. the Prince and
Princess of Wales, the first item on the
menu was “ CEufs d la Itohert.” A certain
City Waiter of our acquaintance not un-
known to fame looks upon this as “ a ninter-
nashnal cumplimint.” “ Heggs is Heggs,
nowerdays,” he writes to us; “ speshully in
Parris, where a ‘ Uff aller Robert,’ must
mean a neg as kostes a bob.”
Revival of Pugilism.—Great Celebration
of Boxing Day this year at the Pelican.
vol. xcvn.
z
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
253
UNTILED; OR, THE MODERN ASMODEUS.
“ Tres volontiers,” repartit le_demon. “ Yous aimez les tableaux cbangeans : je veux vous contenter.”
Le Diable Boiteux.
XII.
“ Manhood,” my guide remarked,
“ is a great dower,
The hope of iglory, and the prop of
power,
In every prosperous nation.
O’er its displays., the daintiest critic
gloats,
And half its hours a polished world
devotes
Unto its cultivation.
“ With what results ? Our visits of
to-night
Upon that question, friend, should
throw some light.
In the great Titan tussle
Called Civilisation, sense may not
refuse
To recognise the ever-growing
use
Of nerve and brawn and muscle.”
“Incarnate sneer ! ” I said, “ you shoot awry.
To doubt the virtues of virility
Were surely sheer insanity.
Else what the meaning of the athletic rage,
Or that peculiar portent of our age
Called ‘ Muscular Christianity ’ P
“ The running ground and the gymnasium
now
Are adjuncts to the Church. Youth’s noble
brow
Must sweat— or soul will sicken—
If not at labour then, of course, at sport.
The boxing-chamber and the tennis-court,
The idler’s pulses quicken.”
“ Most true!” rejoined the Shadow. “Come
and see
The majesty of muscularity
Crowned in the modern manner ;
Not with the parsley chaplet of the Greek.
A modest champion is as far to seek,
Now, as a stainless banner.”
A curious soene ! Full midnight, and a mob
Of moneyed ruffianism! Purse and fob
Well filled and smartly furnished,
Broadcloth in sable acres ; faces fine
Or brutal, flushed with furious zest and wine,
Bronze cheeks, like copper burnished.
All eyes concentre on two brawny churls,
Whom diplomats and dandies, “Sports” and
_ earls,
Eagerly scan and measure.
Two coarse athletic animals, whose might
Nudely displayed, moves many a brilliant
light
Of learning or of leisure.
“This,” smiled the Shadow, “is the shrine
of Sport!
The monarch Muscle here holds secret- court,
In sinew like to languish.
Whilst wealth and culture find delight acute
In the achievements of the human brute,
Careless of fleshly anguish ?
‘ ‘ It must ennoble manhood to look on
In safety, as in days fools fancied gone,
And watch men pound and batter
Eaces and forms out of all human shape,
Whilst they, the well-dressed watchers, bet
and gape,
And curse and chaff, and chatter.
“ Look at that low-browed peer; no coarser
cub [pub.
E’er ‘ spread himself ’ at a low sporting
See how his fool face flushes
As one grim gladiator makes strong play,
And one, the gentler, vainly strives to stay
Brute blows and fierce bull-rushes !
“ He howls applause, he whom one swashing
blow
Eroma clown’s fist would suddenly lay low.
See there, hard by his shoulder,
A vulgar, vulpine visage, smile-wreathed,
peers,
And whispers hideous hints into his ears—
As base a brute, but bolder !
‘ ‘ Bolder, and, so far, better than the boy
Who finds a frantic, yet effeminate joy
In such fierce mutual mauling
Of venal ruffianism. There are men
Engaged in ‘ manly ’ sport in this shy den,
Though like mad Maenads bawling ! ”
“Mammon and Manhood,” murmured I,
‘ ‘ appear
The twin divinities of this strange sphere.”
“ It sees their mutual action,
Replied my cold companion. ‘ ‘ Mammon rules,
Whilst ‘ Manhood ’ it bewitches and befools,
To their joint satisfaction.
“ Ask any keen expert at modern Sport
What ‘Champions’ are. He’ll answer in a
sort,
If frank, which may surprise you.
That burly brute’s a champion—atlthis game !
Exactly how he won, or stole, that fame
Inquire not, I ’d advise you!
“ At least, not here. Sharp words, and blows,
come quick [trick,
From sleek supporters of the ‘Champion’
When fearing its exposure. [leech
Ask awkward questions, and some lurking
Of the blood- sucking brood upon your speech
May put most summary closure.
‘ ‘ Sport F The true sport of all these greedy
knaves [slaves,
Is pigeon-plucking. They are Swelldom’s
Sycophants soft but sinister ;
They ’re panders and purveyors to the mob
Of affluent noodles; but those gulls they rob
To whose base tastes they minister.
‘ ‘ Mark those two shiny, silent, black-browed
men!
They are the ruling spirits of this den.
Should we their footsteps follow
Into their private room, where, without fuss
Of morals or of manners, they discuss
Their business brutish, hollow;
“ Strange side-lights on the wondrous ‘World
of Sport,’
So popular from clerkdom to the Court,
Our darkness might illuminate.
Shall we ? Nay, from the task I see you shrink.
Such harpy-souls are a foul seething sink,
O’er which ’tis ill to ruminate.”
SASSIETY SMALL-TALK.
(From the “ Twopenny Twaddler.”)
Her Majesty, on her return from Scotland
last week, travelled the greater part of the
way in a railway carriage. The Queen (who
is in excellent health) closed her eyes several
times during the journey.
It is reported in literary circles that Mr.
Smith is writing a life of Mr. Jones, and that
Mr. Jones is engaged on a biography of Mr.
Smith. _
The new Lord Mayor is very popular in
the City, and has given great satisfaction to
his guests at the Mansion House by intro-
ducing turtle soup into the menu of his Lord-
ship’s dinners._
The rumours that Queen Anne died some
years ago has now received confirmation.
This piece of intelligence will be welcome
news to the Historical Research and Investi-
gation Society, of which Mr. Tomkins, the
eminent antiquarian, is the respected Presi-
dent. _
Next week Monday will be followed by
Tuesday, and Thursday be preceded by Wed-
nesday. It has been arranged that Friday
and Saturday shall come before Sunday.
We are authorised to state that the an-
nouncement made in this column some time
since, which we denied, and subsequently
confirmed, is entirely devoid of foundation.
We shall, no doubt, have more to say on this
subject on some future occasion, when the
pressure of news on our space is less than at
present.
A CHEAT SCOTCH TOUR.
See the Tooth Drawing Exhibition atMessrs.
Tooth’s (why not call themselves “The
Teeth” at onceP) Gallery in the Haymarket.
The Firm should be known as “ The Wisdom
Teeth,” since they rarely if ever make a mis-
take in their Show. This time it consists of
over fifty pictures of the Rivers of Scotland,
by Mr. David Farquharson. Notwith-
standing the large number, it is astonishing
the variety to be found in the Collection.
No two pictures are alike; they all have
the impress of being painted on the spot,
and have no “studio-taint” about them,
too often acquired by re-touching a fresh
transcript from Nature in a murky town
painting-room. They are broadly painted,
but with a marvellous knowledge of effect
and feeling for colour. There is such a
wondrous breeziness and reality about them,
that you begin to wish you had come as a
Philibeggar in a kilt, ready to have your
fling, and after “a wee drappit in the ’ee,”
reel out again. We present this little notice
as a contribution of “ Butter Scotch,” and
advise everyone to at once take the Cheap
Scotch Tour, personally conducted by Mr.
David Farqttharson.
Robert de Paris.—At the dejeuner given
by Lord Lytton to H.R.H. the Prince and
Princess of Wales, the first item on the
menu was “ CEufs d la Itohert.” A certain
City Waiter of our acquaintance not un-
known to fame looks upon this as “ a ninter-
nashnal cumplimint.” “ Heggs is Heggs,
nowerdays,” he writes to us; “ speshully in
Parris, where a ‘ Uff aller Robert,’ must
mean a neg as kostes a bob.”
Revival of Pugilism.—Great Celebration
of Boxing Day this year at the Pelican.
vol. xcvn.
z