DOI Heft:
December 28, 1889
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17688#0306
December 28, 1889.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
301
JUSTICE ABROAD AT HOME—AND AT HOME ABROAD!
At Home.
Scene—Interior of a Coroner's Court. Languid audience. Pro-
prietor-responsible-for-deat h accommodated ivith a chair.
Coroner [concludingspeech). I am sure,
Gentlemen of the Jury, that you could
not possibly have come to any other con-
clusion, and I congratulate you upon
your verdict. That the accident was
purely accidental is self-evident, and if
the respected Proprietor might have made
regulations causing that accident to he
less likely to happen (as your rider would
seem to suggest) why, no doubt that
fact will have in the future due weight
with him. Of course, we must all feel
sympathy with the widows and orphans
of the deceased, and it is gratifying to
think that they will rest satisfied we
have done what lays in our power
to assist them. I have now much
pleasure in declaring this inquiry at an
end.
{Exeunt, omnes. Proprietor-responsible-for-death, lolls in his
brougham comfortably home to partake of a well-cooked dinner.
Abroad,
Scene—Interior of a Criminal Court. Excited Audience. Pro-
prietor -responsible-f'or-death standing in the Pock.
Judge (concluding speech). I am quite sure, Gentlemen of the
Jury, that you could not possibly have come to any other conclusion,
and I congratulate you upon your verdict. That the so-called accident
could have been prevented is self-evident, and it is to be hoped that
the lesson you have read to the disgraced and ruined Proprietor will
have its due effect. We all sympathise with the widows and orphans
for their great loss, but they will he consoled by the thought that,
through your action, they have been avenged. The Court stands
adjourned.
[Exeunt omnes. Proprietor-responsible-for-death being carted off to
prison, there to undergo a long spell of penal servitude.
OLD PUNCHKIEL’S PREDICTIONS FOR THE YEAR 1890.
It is with no light heart that Old Punchkiel enters upon his
solemn duties of enlightenment and warning. The Stellar voices
are less definite this year than he could wish, and he has had the
greatest difficulty in making out what the dickens it is they do mean.
However, a Prophet that respects himself would scorn to hedge,
and Old Punchkiel issues his predictions as usual, merely reminding
searchers after truth that stars will play the fool occasionally.
January.—Mars retrograding before Taurus into the 1st House of
Saturn will prove a subject for profound study, for it is certain to
be followed by a public inquiry into the efficiency of our Army,
which will be the subject of much discussion in the newspapers.
Persons engaged in philosophical research or the sale of cats’meat
whose birthday anniversary falls on or near the 14th, are warned to
beware of over-indulgence in pastry.
February.—The Sun is with the Infortunes, and meets with oppo-
sition from Saturn, so that little warm or cheerful weather can be
expected. The sign Pisces rules Putney, Peckham, Peebles, and
Little Pedlington, and social upheavals of an alarming nature may
therefore be expected at all these places, with earthquakes of varying
degrees of violence. On or about the 14th, there will be a notable
display of Coloured Satirical Portraiture. Persons born on the 29th,
in either 1785, 1802, 1841, or 1869 (especially if the Moon was in the
second decanate of the sign S3 at their birth) will have no particular
reason for congratulating themselves.
March.—At the vernal ingress Mercury, progressing in the sign
Gemini,yr\W bring trouble on Moscow and Margate. At Teddington,
the luminaries will be in the midheaven, and the London County
Council will accordingly be the scene of intense excitement, personal
remarks being freely interchanged. Single ladies, whose birthday
anniversary falls on or about the 4th or 5th inst., will obtain heavy
damages in any action for breach of promise of marriage, unless
born in any year previous to 1842.
April,—-Mars entering into his own lion will create considerable
surprise in those unused to such phenomena, and may affect the
funds unfavourably on more than one Continental Exchange. The
sign Taurus rules Ireland, and a further development in Home Rule
may be looked for. In the latter part of this month, Jupiter becomes
stationary in Cancer, and afflicts the Beadle of a well-known and
popular Arcade, who is warned to beware of shell-fish. The 1st is
fortunate for practical jokers. The 21st is an evil day for hatters
born on or about the 8th of November, whose ascendant, or Moon,
held the 14th degree of Aquarius; they should have a care of
accidents by steam-circuses and tight-ropes.
May.—Saturn progressing in the meridional degree of "West
Brompton will render this month memorable in English History.
At the new Moon Mercury is in the ascendant, accordingly we shall
soon hear of an improvement in the weather, and the outbreak of
German measles amongst the Ojibbeway Indians. Saturn retro-
grading in I brings trouble on the Emperor of China, who will suffer
from a cold in the head. The trade and commerce of Bognor will be
considerably augmented. There will be trouble in Tooley Street.
June.—Jupiter is now in benefic aspect with the Moon, and forming
the trine aspect with the Sun, thereby benefiting Brentford and the
Bahamas. In either Boulogne, "Westward-Ho, Oban, Tenby, or Tim-
buctoo, there will be serious emeutes, the military having to be called
out. Conspirators in Cyprus and the Isle of Wight will become daring.
In Kamschatka, there will be trouble with the Dervishes. Towards
the close of the month Saturn re-enters the sign Aries, and proceeds
to disturb and afflict Huntingdonshire, and Westbourne Grove.
The Akond of Swat will be in danger.
July.—The stationary position of Venus on Scorpio is of evil omen
to all who are fond of sitting out of doors, and Venus making a
hasty transit to the house of Virgo, occults the Moon and brings
disaster upon many popular places of entertainment. Neptune also
afflicts persons at the seaside who go out in sailing vessels imme-
diately after lunch. Saturn is in quartile with Mars, which infor-
tune is about to transit the place of the Moon at the birth of
a celebrated Low Comedian, who will do "well to accept the warning.
About this time a new comedy will be produced at a Matinee at one
of the principal London theatres.
August.-—Mars and Saturn are now afflicting the horoscope of a
well-known umbrella-manufacturer, causing great perplexity and
trouble to certain Continental Powers, and some confusion in Camber-
well and the vicinity. The warrior-angel of Mars may put in an
appearance. Prussia feels the effects of the presence of Uranus in
her ruling sign, but gains to some extent by the conjunction of
Jupiter with Mercury ; the funds will droop on the London Stock
Exchange, and bad eggs will be hatched in great abundance.
Foreign questions will be very difficult of solution.
September.—Saturn reaches the opposition of the place of the
Lunar Eclipse of last May, and brings further trouble on the
Shetland Islands. The Sea-Serpent will be heard of again, and
several topics of great social interest will be discussed at some length
in the correspondence-columns of the daily newspapers. Beyond
this the voices of the Stars are silent for this month.
October.—As the benefic Jupiter is in the 1st decanate of the 7th
house, and speeding through the sign of Pisces at the New Moon,
we may anticipate earthquakes in Cappadocia, Paphlagonia and
Primrose Hill. Persons who go out shooting during this. month
without previous experience of firearms, will bring home big bags,
but are warned to act prudently and use a small size of shot.
November.—The numerous configurations of Venus in her con-
junctions with Mars are the chief astrological features of this month,
and fan the flame of fanaticism at Faversham, Freshwater, Folke-
stone, and Friesland. There will be street demonstrations on or
about the 5th, to express abhorrence of an abominable act of treachery
by a well-known public character. The ruling powers of several
London Music-Halls will find it hard to weather the storm. There
will be a serious strike among London Housebreakers, who will
demand shorter hours of labour, freedom from police interference,
and a larger share of the profits of their industry.
December.—The passage of Uranus from the sign Aries into Cap-
ricornus will, it is to be feared, keep the School Board very busy,
and the total eclipse of the Sun at the moment of. ruling the 10th
House in quartile aspect with Uranus, Saturn being in the ascendant,
may have an injurious effect upon many eminent pawnbrokers and
ventriloquists. However, Old Punchkiel does not wish to take too
gloomy a view of the future, and trusts that he may have invested
the message of the Stars with too serious a significance. This is
really all he can possibly undertake to prophesy for the money.
THE BOND STREET ART-ERY.
“ Change of scene is as good as change of air! ” Therefore going
to Dowdeswells’ is as good as a trip to Monte Carlo—for they are
always changing the scene atthis Gallery. The latest change is “ Some
Places of Note in England," by Birket Foster, which includes about
fifty drawings by this artist, in his best manner. If we had space we
would write on this subject at length, but we have not; so, although
this notice is about Birket Foster, we ’re forced to burke.it.. Ha !
ha ! In addition to these, you will find a series of drawings in silver-
point—full of grace and delicacy, by C. Sainton, and a collection of
clever pictures, by W. A. Breakspeare, illustrative of Tennyson’s
poems. He must be a clever artist who would splinter a lance with
Breakspeare. This artist should take for his motto, “ Breakspea-
rentia does it." He ! he! ! ”
P D
VOL, IUVTt.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
301
JUSTICE ABROAD AT HOME—AND AT HOME ABROAD!
At Home.
Scene—Interior of a Coroner's Court. Languid audience. Pro-
prietor-responsible-for-deat h accommodated ivith a chair.
Coroner [concludingspeech). I am sure,
Gentlemen of the Jury, that you could
not possibly have come to any other con-
clusion, and I congratulate you upon
your verdict. That the accident was
purely accidental is self-evident, and if
the respected Proprietor might have made
regulations causing that accident to he
less likely to happen (as your rider would
seem to suggest) why, no doubt that
fact will have in the future due weight
with him. Of course, we must all feel
sympathy with the widows and orphans
of the deceased, and it is gratifying to
think that they will rest satisfied we
have done what lays in our power
to assist them. I have now much
pleasure in declaring this inquiry at an
end.
{Exeunt, omnes. Proprietor-responsible-for-death, lolls in his
brougham comfortably home to partake of a well-cooked dinner.
Abroad,
Scene—Interior of a Criminal Court. Excited Audience. Pro-
prietor -responsible-f'or-death standing in the Pock.
Judge (concluding speech). I am quite sure, Gentlemen of the
Jury, that you could not possibly have come to any other conclusion,
and I congratulate you upon your verdict. That the so-called accident
could have been prevented is self-evident, and it is to be hoped that
the lesson you have read to the disgraced and ruined Proprietor will
have its due effect. We all sympathise with the widows and orphans
for their great loss, but they will he consoled by the thought that,
through your action, they have been avenged. The Court stands
adjourned.
[Exeunt omnes. Proprietor-responsible-for-death being carted off to
prison, there to undergo a long spell of penal servitude.
OLD PUNCHKIEL’S PREDICTIONS FOR THE YEAR 1890.
It is with no light heart that Old Punchkiel enters upon his
solemn duties of enlightenment and warning. The Stellar voices
are less definite this year than he could wish, and he has had the
greatest difficulty in making out what the dickens it is they do mean.
However, a Prophet that respects himself would scorn to hedge,
and Old Punchkiel issues his predictions as usual, merely reminding
searchers after truth that stars will play the fool occasionally.
January.—Mars retrograding before Taurus into the 1st House of
Saturn will prove a subject for profound study, for it is certain to
be followed by a public inquiry into the efficiency of our Army,
which will be the subject of much discussion in the newspapers.
Persons engaged in philosophical research or the sale of cats’meat
whose birthday anniversary falls on or near the 14th, are warned to
beware of over-indulgence in pastry.
February.—The Sun is with the Infortunes, and meets with oppo-
sition from Saturn, so that little warm or cheerful weather can be
expected. The sign Pisces rules Putney, Peckham, Peebles, and
Little Pedlington, and social upheavals of an alarming nature may
therefore be expected at all these places, with earthquakes of varying
degrees of violence. On or about the 14th, there will be a notable
display of Coloured Satirical Portraiture. Persons born on the 29th,
in either 1785, 1802, 1841, or 1869 (especially if the Moon was in the
second decanate of the sign S3 at their birth) will have no particular
reason for congratulating themselves.
March.—At the vernal ingress Mercury, progressing in the sign
Gemini,yr\W bring trouble on Moscow and Margate. At Teddington,
the luminaries will be in the midheaven, and the London County
Council will accordingly be the scene of intense excitement, personal
remarks being freely interchanged. Single ladies, whose birthday
anniversary falls on or about the 4th or 5th inst., will obtain heavy
damages in any action for breach of promise of marriage, unless
born in any year previous to 1842.
April,—-Mars entering into his own lion will create considerable
surprise in those unused to such phenomena, and may affect the
funds unfavourably on more than one Continental Exchange. The
sign Taurus rules Ireland, and a further development in Home Rule
may be looked for. In the latter part of this month, Jupiter becomes
stationary in Cancer, and afflicts the Beadle of a well-known and
popular Arcade, who is warned to beware of shell-fish. The 1st is
fortunate for practical jokers. The 21st is an evil day for hatters
born on or about the 8th of November, whose ascendant, or Moon,
held the 14th degree of Aquarius; they should have a care of
accidents by steam-circuses and tight-ropes.
May.—Saturn progressing in the meridional degree of "West
Brompton will render this month memorable in English History.
At the new Moon Mercury is in the ascendant, accordingly we shall
soon hear of an improvement in the weather, and the outbreak of
German measles amongst the Ojibbeway Indians. Saturn retro-
grading in I brings trouble on the Emperor of China, who will suffer
from a cold in the head. The trade and commerce of Bognor will be
considerably augmented. There will be trouble in Tooley Street.
June.—Jupiter is now in benefic aspect with the Moon, and forming
the trine aspect with the Sun, thereby benefiting Brentford and the
Bahamas. In either Boulogne, "Westward-Ho, Oban, Tenby, or Tim-
buctoo, there will be serious emeutes, the military having to be called
out. Conspirators in Cyprus and the Isle of Wight will become daring.
In Kamschatka, there will be trouble with the Dervishes. Towards
the close of the month Saturn re-enters the sign Aries, and proceeds
to disturb and afflict Huntingdonshire, and Westbourne Grove.
The Akond of Swat will be in danger.
July.—The stationary position of Venus on Scorpio is of evil omen
to all who are fond of sitting out of doors, and Venus making a
hasty transit to the house of Virgo, occults the Moon and brings
disaster upon many popular places of entertainment. Neptune also
afflicts persons at the seaside who go out in sailing vessels imme-
diately after lunch. Saturn is in quartile with Mars, which infor-
tune is about to transit the place of the Moon at the birth of
a celebrated Low Comedian, who will do "well to accept the warning.
About this time a new comedy will be produced at a Matinee at one
of the principal London theatres.
August.-—Mars and Saturn are now afflicting the horoscope of a
well-known umbrella-manufacturer, causing great perplexity and
trouble to certain Continental Powers, and some confusion in Camber-
well and the vicinity. The warrior-angel of Mars may put in an
appearance. Prussia feels the effects of the presence of Uranus in
her ruling sign, but gains to some extent by the conjunction of
Jupiter with Mercury ; the funds will droop on the London Stock
Exchange, and bad eggs will be hatched in great abundance.
Foreign questions will be very difficult of solution.
September.—Saturn reaches the opposition of the place of the
Lunar Eclipse of last May, and brings further trouble on the
Shetland Islands. The Sea-Serpent will be heard of again, and
several topics of great social interest will be discussed at some length
in the correspondence-columns of the daily newspapers. Beyond
this the voices of the Stars are silent for this month.
October.—As the benefic Jupiter is in the 1st decanate of the 7th
house, and speeding through the sign of Pisces at the New Moon,
we may anticipate earthquakes in Cappadocia, Paphlagonia and
Primrose Hill. Persons who go out shooting during this. month
without previous experience of firearms, will bring home big bags,
but are warned to act prudently and use a small size of shot.
November.—The numerous configurations of Venus in her con-
junctions with Mars are the chief astrological features of this month,
and fan the flame of fanaticism at Faversham, Freshwater, Folke-
stone, and Friesland. There will be street demonstrations on or
about the 5th, to express abhorrence of an abominable act of treachery
by a well-known public character. The ruling powers of several
London Music-Halls will find it hard to weather the storm. There
will be a serious strike among London Housebreakers, who will
demand shorter hours of labour, freedom from police interference,
and a larger share of the profits of their industry.
December.—The passage of Uranus from the sign Aries into Cap-
ricornus will, it is to be feared, keep the School Board very busy,
and the total eclipse of the Sun at the moment of. ruling the 10th
House in quartile aspect with Uranus, Saturn being in the ascendant,
may have an injurious effect upon many eminent pawnbrokers and
ventriloquists. However, Old Punchkiel does not wish to take too
gloomy a view of the future, and trusts that he may have invested
the message of the Stars with too serious a significance. This is
really all he can possibly undertake to prophesy for the money.
THE BOND STREET ART-ERY.
“ Change of scene is as good as change of air! ” Therefore going
to Dowdeswells’ is as good as a trip to Monte Carlo—for they are
always changing the scene atthis Gallery. The latest change is “ Some
Places of Note in England," by Birket Foster, which includes about
fifty drawings by this artist, in his best manner. If we had space we
would write on this subject at length, but we have not; so, although
this notice is about Birket Foster, we ’re forced to burke.it.. Ha !
ha ! In addition to these, you will find a series of drawings in silver-
point—full of grace and delicacy, by C. Sainton, and a collection of
clever pictures, by W. A. Breakspeare, illustrative of Tennyson’s
poems. He must be a clever artist who would splinter a lance with
Breakspeare. This artist should take for his motto, “ Breakspea-
rentia does it." He ! he! ! ”
P D
VOL, IUVTt.