DOI Heft:
December 21, 1889
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17688#0305
300
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 21, 1889.
the Chair he, in this Twelfth Parlia-
ment of Queen Victoria, fills with
dignity and grace.
“And now, Mr. Speaker,” yon
say, taking out yonr note-book—a
choice volume bound in satin of dull
gold, with red-edged leaves and
electro-plated clasps, the gift of a
gratified gentleman in the fancy
stationery line whom you recently
interviewed—“it is very rarely one
gets the opportunity of a really quiet
talk with you. If you permit it, I
will utilise the present occasion, to
ask you a few questions. Which
Member of the House do you like
most, and which is your particular
abomination ? Do you prefer Sir
William Harcoijrt when he is on
the humorous tack, or when he
addresses himself serionsly to busi-
ness ? How do you regard the pro-
bable permanent effects upon the
moral conduct of the House of the
little asides of Mr. W. H. Smith ?
What is your private opinion of
Joseph Gtllis Biggar? Do you
think Mr. Goschen a graceful
speaker ? Which of the Clerks at
the table do you like best ? Do you
take fuller delight in the way Mr.
Erskine retires from the table when
he has removed the Mace from the table, or do you prefer the
jauntier style of Mr. Gosset ? Do you mean to retire, and if so,
when? What title will you take when you go to the House of
Lords? Do you ever steal forty winks whilst Lord George
Hamilton is expounding his policy at the Admiralty ? What do
you take to eat and drink when you retire for the customary ten
minutes in a night’s debate? Do you really only get a chop, or
do you bring in stale buns and nibble them behind your three-
cornered hat ? Do you-”
“Order! order!”
Looking up, you observe that the Speaker is on his feet, the
Sergeant-at-Arms, bowing three times, advances towards the table,
removes the Mace, shoulders it, and marches forth. The Speaker
abruptly turning from his chair stalks out at the other door, and you
find yourself somewhat suddenly alone. Your reverie is broken in
upon by another outburst from the strident voice, which calls at the
open door,
“ Who goes home ? ”
Ho names are mentioned, but you arrive at the conclusion that this
remark is probably thrown at you, and accordingly you withdraw,
and as you pace Palace Yard, disturbing the groups of meditative
pigeons, you ponder upon the strange ways and customs in the
household of the Speaker.
TWO PHASES OF GOLF.
’FORE ! ”
“’HIND !'
ROBERT ON PRESENT TIMES.
We ’re a living in rayther rum times we are, wen the soles of
the grinning workman is almost a kicking the eels of the Hi and
Mity, as some great Eiloso-
pher once said was a coming
for to pass.
As a instance in pint: we
has all the men—striking at
their Masters, and a settling
how long they will work, and
how much they will kindly
take ; and now we ’re told as
we ain’t to have no coles all
this winter, and no gas light
at nites, unless the Stokers
gits all as they wants !
Well, this is all werry
startling to a respectabel and
contented Hed Waiter, as
,A// > • hasn’t no idear of striking,
' ’coz why ? ’coz he ain’t quite
such a fool as to quarrel with
ihis bred and butter and setterer in hopes of gifting it just a little bit
thicker and a little bit butteryer, but with a chance of losing the lot.
But now cums the werry rummyest part of the hole matter. Jest
at the werry time as I shood think as the werry hiest of our publick
gennelmen wood have been a showing by their xtra digneMe con-
duct how werry much they was shocked at the conduct of the lower
horders, I finds ’em a condesending to do sitch things as was never
done in the werry harrystocraticest times as ewen I remembers!
The xampels is so numerus that I scarse know where to begin, but
I will commense with the werry hiest as a thurrow staggerer.
Let anyboddy try his werry best to hunderstand the shock to my
conserwative feelins when I abslutely seed with my own estonished
eyes, the Rite Honnerabel the Lord Mare leave his chair at a
public dinner, and sit hisself down to a Pianny forty and sing and
play a rayther lowish song about a Miss Peggy on a humpbacked
Kar. I never seed a Kar myself, but Brown, who is partly a Irish-
man, as he’s been wunce to Glassko, says it’s the same as a nansum
cab. So I makes out wun werse of his Lordship’s song to run
summut as follows:
“ I’d rayther be in a nansum cab
With Peggy by my side,
Than in my hone smart coach and four
With my Lady for my Bride !! ”
What my Lady Maress thinks of them sentimens it isn’t for a
pore Hed Waiter to say, bnt no think can prewent me a thinking,
and wat I thinks I wisely keeps to myself.
Then see what toilers. Why I acshally hears a stately Alderman,
who was wunce a stately Lord Mare, a starting off the wulger old
chorus, “For he's a Jolly Good Feller!" and this too as the
Lord Mare’s reward for his singin! And so hinfeckshus is bad
xampel, that, at that werry same dinner, ewen a Crimminel Judge
made 2 little jokes! and was werry properly well larfed at for his
panes!
Time passes on for about a week, and then, at a rayther big
dinner, a werry respectabel tho’ jewvenile Common Councilman
finishes a werry loud speech by asking all the grinning compny
the follering striking question, and in poetry too:
“ Where is the man with sole so dead
Who never to hisself has sed,
What a Fool I’ve been ? ”
And insted of simperthising with the poor conshence stricken
Gennelman, they all larfs and shouts out, Here ! Here!
I passes over the sad spectakels of Aldermen in Penny Omnebusses,
and Deputys in Penny Botes, and content myself with hobserving
in sorrow, and in conclusion, that if our great leaders will not set
the peeple better xampels of dignerty and self respec; we shall sum
on us live to see the day when mere Strike Leaders will be figgering
as Lord Mares, and Stokers as Aldermen, and praps ewen Blacklegs
as Hed Waiters! _ Robert.
A Strong Entertainment.
Samson and Sandow were pretty strong men,
But at the Empire, ’twixt eight and ten,
They are burlesque’d till with laughter you ’ll cry,
“ 0 Brothers Griffiths, how’s that for high ?”
A'Mythical Person : Emin Pasha.—Why this fuss about a man
who does not exist ? There’s no M in “ Pasha.”
5^=* KOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rul§
there will ho no exception.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 21, 1889.
the Chair he, in this Twelfth Parlia-
ment of Queen Victoria, fills with
dignity and grace.
“And now, Mr. Speaker,” yon
say, taking out yonr note-book—a
choice volume bound in satin of dull
gold, with red-edged leaves and
electro-plated clasps, the gift of a
gratified gentleman in the fancy
stationery line whom you recently
interviewed—“it is very rarely one
gets the opportunity of a really quiet
talk with you. If you permit it, I
will utilise the present occasion, to
ask you a few questions. Which
Member of the House do you like
most, and which is your particular
abomination ? Do you prefer Sir
William Harcoijrt when he is on
the humorous tack, or when he
addresses himself serionsly to busi-
ness ? How do you regard the pro-
bable permanent effects upon the
moral conduct of the House of the
little asides of Mr. W. H. Smith ?
What is your private opinion of
Joseph Gtllis Biggar? Do you
think Mr. Goschen a graceful
speaker ? Which of the Clerks at
the table do you like best ? Do you
take fuller delight in the way Mr.
Erskine retires from the table when
he has removed the Mace from the table, or do you prefer the
jauntier style of Mr. Gosset ? Do you mean to retire, and if so,
when? What title will you take when you go to the House of
Lords? Do you ever steal forty winks whilst Lord George
Hamilton is expounding his policy at the Admiralty ? What do
you take to eat and drink when you retire for the customary ten
minutes in a night’s debate? Do you really only get a chop, or
do you bring in stale buns and nibble them behind your three-
cornered hat ? Do you-”
“Order! order!”
Looking up, you observe that the Speaker is on his feet, the
Sergeant-at-Arms, bowing three times, advances towards the table,
removes the Mace, shoulders it, and marches forth. The Speaker
abruptly turning from his chair stalks out at the other door, and you
find yourself somewhat suddenly alone. Your reverie is broken in
upon by another outburst from the strident voice, which calls at the
open door,
“ Who goes home ? ”
Ho names are mentioned, but you arrive at the conclusion that this
remark is probably thrown at you, and accordingly you withdraw,
and as you pace Palace Yard, disturbing the groups of meditative
pigeons, you ponder upon the strange ways and customs in the
household of the Speaker.
TWO PHASES OF GOLF.
’FORE ! ”
“’HIND !'
ROBERT ON PRESENT TIMES.
We ’re a living in rayther rum times we are, wen the soles of
the grinning workman is almost a kicking the eels of the Hi and
Mity, as some great Eiloso-
pher once said was a coming
for to pass.
As a instance in pint: we
has all the men—striking at
their Masters, and a settling
how long they will work, and
how much they will kindly
take ; and now we ’re told as
we ain’t to have no coles all
this winter, and no gas light
at nites, unless the Stokers
gits all as they wants !
Well, this is all werry
startling to a respectabel and
contented Hed Waiter, as
,A// > • hasn’t no idear of striking,
' ’coz why ? ’coz he ain’t quite
such a fool as to quarrel with
ihis bred and butter and setterer in hopes of gifting it just a little bit
thicker and a little bit butteryer, but with a chance of losing the lot.
But now cums the werry rummyest part of the hole matter. Jest
at the werry time as I shood think as the werry hiest of our publick
gennelmen wood have been a showing by their xtra digneMe con-
duct how werry much they was shocked at the conduct of the lower
horders, I finds ’em a condesending to do sitch things as was never
done in the werry harrystocraticest times as ewen I remembers!
The xampels is so numerus that I scarse know where to begin, but
I will commense with the werry hiest as a thurrow staggerer.
Let anyboddy try his werry best to hunderstand the shock to my
conserwative feelins when I abslutely seed with my own estonished
eyes, the Rite Honnerabel the Lord Mare leave his chair at a
public dinner, and sit hisself down to a Pianny forty and sing and
play a rayther lowish song about a Miss Peggy on a humpbacked
Kar. I never seed a Kar myself, but Brown, who is partly a Irish-
man, as he’s been wunce to Glassko, says it’s the same as a nansum
cab. So I makes out wun werse of his Lordship’s song to run
summut as follows:
“ I’d rayther be in a nansum cab
With Peggy by my side,
Than in my hone smart coach and four
With my Lady for my Bride !! ”
What my Lady Maress thinks of them sentimens it isn’t for a
pore Hed Waiter to say, bnt no think can prewent me a thinking,
and wat I thinks I wisely keeps to myself.
Then see what toilers. Why I acshally hears a stately Alderman,
who was wunce a stately Lord Mare, a starting off the wulger old
chorus, “For he's a Jolly Good Feller!" and this too as the
Lord Mare’s reward for his singin! And so hinfeckshus is bad
xampel, that, at that werry same dinner, ewen a Crimminel Judge
made 2 little jokes! and was werry properly well larfed at for his
panes!
Time passes on for about a week, and then, at a rayther big
dinner, a werry respectabel tho’ jewvenile Common Councilman
finishes a werry loud speech by asking all the grinning compny
the follering striking question, and in poetry too:
“ Where is the man with sole so dead
Who never to hisself has sed,
What a Fool I’ve been ? ”
And insted of simperthising with the poor conshence stricken
Gennelman, they all larfs and shouts out, Here ! Here!
I passes over the sad spectakels of Aldermen in Penny Omnebusses,
and Deputys in Penny Botes, and content myself with hobserving
in sorrow, and in conclusion, that if our great leaders will not set
the peeple better xampels of dignerty and self respec; we shall sum
on us live to see the day when mere Strike Leaders will be figgering
as Lord Mares, and Stokers as Aldermen, and praps ewen Blacklegs
as Hed Waiters! _ Robert.
A Strong Entertainment.
Samson and Sandow were pretty strong men,
But at the Empire, ’twixt eight and ten,
They are burlesque’d till with laughter you ’ll cry,
“ 0 Brothers Griffiths, how’s that for high ?”
A'Mythical Person : Emin Pasha.—Why this fuss about a man
who does not exist ? There’s no M in “ Pasha.”
5^=* KOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rul§
there will ho no exception.