DOI issue:
September 24, 1892
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0141
136
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 24, 1892.
OF MALICE AFORETHOUGHT.
Cheery Official. '' All First Class 'ere, please ? "
Degenerate Son of the Vikings {in a feeble voice). "First Class? Now d© I look it?"
THE LAY OF THE LAST KNIGHT.
My name and style are Ellis Ashmead Bart—
Ah! happy augury. Would I could
Leave it so. But 'twill not do.
Like soap of Monkey brand,
It will not wash clothes,
Or, in truth, ought else.
'Tis but an accident of rhythm
Born of the imperative mood that makes one
Start a poem of this kind on ten feet,
Howe'er it may thereafter crawl or soar.
What I really was about to remark was that
My name and style are Ellis Ashmead Bart-
Lett, Knight; late Civil Lord of Admiralty
You know me. I come from Sheffield; at least
I did on my return thence
Upon re-election.
ii.
A sad world this, my masters, as someone—
Was it my friend Shakspeare P—
Says. The sadness arises upon reflection, not
That I'm a Knight, but that I am, so to speak,
A Knight of only two letters.
As thus—Kt. "lis but a glimmer of a night,
If I, though sore at heart, may dally with
The English tongue
And make a pensive pun.
m.
Of course I expected different things from
The Markiss.
What's the use, what's the purpose,
Of what avail, wherefore,
That a man should descend from the
Spacious times of Elizabeth with nothing
In his hand other than a simple Knighthood P
Anyone could do that.
It might be done to anyone.
He, him, all, any, both, certain, few,
Many, much, none, one, other, another,
One another, several, some, such and whole.
Why, he made a Knight
At the same time,
In the same manner,
Of
Maple
Blundell !
iv.
Look here, Markiss, you know,
This won't do.
It may pass in a crowd, but not with
Ellis Ashmead Bart--
(There it is again. Evidently doesn't matter
About the feet)
Lett.
v.
And yet Markiss, mine,
I shall not despair.
Tou are somewhat out of it
At the present moment.
And I am not sure—
Not gorged with certainty—
That Mr. G. would be
Inclined to make amends.
He is old; he is aged.
Prejudice lurks amid
His scant white locks,
And forbids the stretch-
ing forth of generous hand in whose
Recesses coyly glint
The Bart, or K. C. B.
vi.
But you are not everyone ;
Nor is he. Nor do both together
In the aggregate
Compose the great globe
And all that therein is.
I '11 wait awhile, possessing my soul in
Patience.
Everything comes to the man who waits.
(Sometimes, 'tis true, 'tis the bobby
Who asks what he 's loafing there for,
And bids him
Move on.
That is a chance the brave resolute soul
Faces.) The pity of it is
That you, Markiss, having so much to give,
So little gave
To
Me.
vii.
Oh, Markiss ! Markiss !
Had I but served my Gladstone
As I have served thee,
He would not have forsak-
But that's another story.
_ The New Hopera op 'Addok 'All.—The
title finally decided upon for the Sullivan-
Grundy Opera is Haddon Hall. Lovely for
'Arry! "'Ave you seen 'Addon 'All?"
Then the 'Arry who 'as only 'eard a portion
of it, will say, "I 'addn't 'eard yatt." As a
Cockney title, it's perfect. Successful or not,
Author and Composer will congratulate them-
selves that, to deserve, if not command
success, they W don all they knew. If suc-
cessful, they '11 replace the aspirates, and it
will be some time before they recover the
exact date when they Had-don Hauling in
the coin. Prosit!
Miscarriage of Justice.—Says the Pall
Mall Gazette :—"For knocking over a man
selling watercress, with fatal results, a Ham-
mersmith cabman has been committed for
trial for manslaughter." If this is true, the
Home Secretary should immediately inter-
pose. The action of knocking a man over is
hasty, and may be indefensible. But if the
Hammersmith Cabman had just grounds for
belief that the man was "selling water-
cresses with fatal results," he should rather
be commended than committed for trial.
"Keeping tjp the Christopher."—[A
Note from an Old Friend).—" Christopher
Columbus" indeed! As years ago I told
Sairey Gamp about_ her bothering Mrs.
Harris, "I don't believe there's no sich a
person." That's what I says, says I, about
Columbus, wich ain't like any other sort of
" bus" as I see before my blessed eyes every
day. Yours, Elizabeth Prig.
P.S.—Mr. Edwin Johnson, him as wrote
to the Times last Saturday, is of my opinion.
Good Old Johnson !
"Honoris Causa."—To Mr. Granville
Money, son of the Rector of Weybridge,
whose gallant rescue of a lady from drowning
has recently been recorded, Mr. Punch grants
the style and title of " Ready Money."
Question and Answer.—"Why don't I
write Plays ? " Why should I ?
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 24, 1892.
OF MALICE AFORETHOUGHT.
Cheery Official. '' All First Class 'ere, please ? "
Degenerate Son of the Vikings {in a feeble voice). "First Class? Now d© I look it?"
THE LAY OF THE LAST KNIGHT.
My name and style are Ellis Ashmead Bart—
Ah! happy augury. Would I could
Leave it so. But 'twill not do.
Like soap of Monkey brand,
It will not wash clothes,
Or, in truth, ought else.
'Tis but an accident of rhythm
Born of the imperative mood that makes one
Start a poem of this kind on ten feet,
Howe'er it may thereafter crawl or soar.
What I really was about to remark was that
My name and style are Ellis Ashmead Bart-
Lett, Knight; late Civil Lord of Admiralty
You know me. I come from Sheffield; at least
I did on my return thence
Upon re-election.
ii.
A sad world this, my masters, as someone—
Was it my friend Shakspeare P—
Says. The sadness arises upon reflection, not
That I'm a Knight, but that I am, so to speak,
A Knight of only two letters.
As thus—Kt. "lis but a glimmer of a night,
If I, though sore at heart, may dally with
The English tongue
And make a pensive pun.
m.
Of course I expected different things from
The Markiss.
What's the use, what's the purpose,
Of what avail, wherefore,
That a man should descend from the
Spacious times of Elizabeth with nothing
In his hand other than a simple Knighthood P
Anyone could do that.
It might be done to anyone.
He, him, all, any, both, certain, few,
Many, much, none, one, other, another,
One another, several, some, such and whole.
Why, he made a Knight
At the same time,
In the same manner,
Of
Maple
Blundell !
iv.
Look here, Markiss, you know,
This won't do.
It may pass in a crowd, but not with
Ellis Ashmead Bart--
(There it is again. Evidently doesn't matter
About the feet)
Lett.
v.
And yet Markiss, mine,
I shall not despair.
Tou are somewhat out of it
At the present moment.
And I am not sure—
Not gorged with certainty—
That Mr. G. would be
Inclined to make amends.
He is old; he is aged.
Prejudice lurks amid
His scant white locks,
And forbids the stretch-
ing forth of generous hand in whose
Recesses coyly glint
The Bart, or K. C. B.
vi.
But you are not everyone ;
Nor is he. Nor do both together
In the aggregate
Compose the great globe
And all that therein is.
I '11 wait awhile, possessing my soul in
Patience.
Everything comes to the man who waits.
(Sometimes, 'tis true, 'tis the bobby
Who asks what he 's loafing there for,
And bids him
Move on.
That is a chance the brave resolute soul
Faces.) The pity of it is
That you, Markiss, having so much to give,
So little gave
To
Me.
vii.
Oh, Markiss ! Markiss !
Had I but served my Gladstone
As I have served thee,
He would not have forsak-
But that's another story.
_ The New Hopera op 'Addok 'All.—The
title finally decided upon for the Sullivan-
Grundy Opera is Haddon Hall. Lovely for
'Arry! "'Ave you seen 'Addon 'All?"
Then the 'Arry who 'as only 'eard a portion
of it, will say, "I 'addn't 'eard yatt." As a
Cockney title, it's perfect. Successful or not,
Author and Composer will congratulate them-
selves that, to deserve, if not command
success, they W don all they knew. If suc-
cessful, they '11 replace the aspirates, and it
will be some time before they recover the
exact date when they Had-don Hauling in
the coin. Prosit!
Miscarriage of Justice.—Says the Pall
Mall Gazette :—"For knocking over a man
selling watercress, with fatal results, a Ham-
mersmith cabman has been committed for
trial for manslaughter." If this is true, the
Home Secretary should immediately inter-
pose. The action of knocking a man over is
hasty, and may be indefensible. But if the
Hammersmith Cabman had just grounds for
belief that the man was "selling water-
cresses with fatal results," he should rather
be commended than committed for trial.
"Keeping tjp the Christopher."—[A
Note from an Old Friend).—" Christopher
Columbus" indeed! As years ago I told
Sairey Gamp about_ her bothering Mrs.
Harris, "I don't believe there's no sich a
person." That's what I says, says I, about
Columbus, wich ain't like any other sort of
" bus" as I see before my blessed eyes every
day. Yours, Elizabeth Prig.
P.S.—Mr. Edwin Johnson, him as wrote
to the Times last Saturday, is of my opinion.
Good Old Johnson !
"Honoris Causa."—To Mr. Granville
Money, son of the Rector of Weybridge,
whose gallant rescue of a lady from drowning
has recently been recorded, Mr. Punch grants
the style and title of " Ready Money."
Question and Answer.—"Why don't I
write Plays ? " Why should I ?