DOI Heft:
September 24, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0146
September 24, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI,
141
SEA-SIDE ILLS.
(By Our Man Over-bored.)
A Sea S-Idyll on "Boakd and
Eesidence."
That we hurry out of Town
To the sea,
To be properly done brown,
I '11 agree ;
But of being1 nicely done,
There's another way than one—
Viz., the rays, besides of sun,
£ s. d. !
Now, it may be very cheap
For the chap
Who is rich, to pay a heap
For a nap
On a sofa that is prone
To a prominence of bone,
Or a table undergrown,
With a flap;
But a man who has not much
Of the pelf
To distribute freely, such
As myself,
And who' s ordered change and rest,
Doubts the change is for the best
When he has to lie undress'd
On a shelf!
No; to slumber on a slant
Till you 're floor'd,
Is a luxury I can't
Well afford;
And I'm sad to a degree
Tbat, in Everywhere-on-Sea,
'' Board and Residence'' should be
Mostly board !
" Discovert of a New Satel-
lite to Jupiter."—Well, why
not ? Why announce it as if a
noted thief had been arrested?
•' Discovered ! Aha! Then this
to decide"--cries the Melo-
diamatic Satellite. Poor Jupiter
must be uncommonly tired of his
old Satellites by this time ! flow
pleased, how delighted, he must
be to welcome a new one !
VIEW OF MARS" AS SEEN THROUGH MR. PUNCH'S TELESCOPE.
MORE LIGHTS!
When anyone now in town requires a change from the D^-lights
of Home, let him go to See Lights of Home at the Adelphi. Great scene
of the Wreck not so great perhaps as some
previous sensational Adelphi effects. In such
a piece as " the Lights," it is scarcely fair
that " the Heavies " should have it nearly all
to themselves, but so it is, and the two Light
Comedy parts capitally played by Miss Jecks
and Mr. Lionel Rignold, do not get much
of a chance against the heartrending sorrows
of Miss Evelyn Millard, and of Mrs.
Patrick Campbell, the slighted, or sea-
lighted heroine, known as " Dave's Daugh-
ter " (oh, how fond Mr. W. A. Elliott must
be of Dave Purvis, the weakest sentimen-
. „, • , , m- talist-accidental-lunatic-criminal that ever
NewSensafioan * Was let off scot-fre.e at R- H- first entrance
before the fall of the Curtain), and the
undaunted heroism and unblushing villany of Messrs. Charles
Dalton, Cockburn, Kingston & Co. The title might well have
been, Good Lights of Home, and Wicked Livers all Abroad.
" Top-Dressing."—Said Mr. G. to a Welsh audience, " I might as
well address the top of Snowdon on the subject of the Establishment,
as address you on the matter." Flattery ! The top of Snowdon, of
course, represented the highest intelligence in Wales.
I Pity the poor Investors! " exclaimed Mrs. R. sympathetically,
when she saw the heading of a paragraph in the Times—"Bursting
of a Canal Bank."
A Big Booming Chance Lost !—Miss Lottie Collins, according
to the Standard's report of the proceedings on board the unfortunate
Cepheus, said that, on seeing two jeering men rowing out from
shore, holding up bread to the hungry passengers, she, "had she
been a man, would have shot them." She wasn't a man, and so the
two brutes escaped. But what another "Boom! te-ray,—Ta, ra,
ra" &c, &c, this would have been for La Collins !
Not Improbable.—Lord Rosebery might have ended his diplo-
matic reply to Mr. Thomas Gibson Bowles, M.P., who recently sent
kind inquiries to the Foreign Office, as to the Pamirs and Behring
Sea, Canadian Government, &c, &c, with a P.S. to the effect that
" his correspondent probably considered him as a Jack (in office), and
therefore a legitimate object to score off in the game of Bowles."
The Prodigal Daughter; or, The Boyne- Water Jump, by
Druriolanus Magnus and Pettitt Parvus, was produced with
greatest success, last Saturday, at Old Drury. The general recom-
mendation to the authors will be, as a matter of course, i.e., of
race-course, given in the historic words of Ducrow, " Cut the cackle
and come to the 'osses." When this advice is acted upon, The
Prodigal Daughter, a very fine young woman, but not particularly
prodigal, will produce receipts beyond all cacklelation.
Future Legislation for Next Session.—Mr. Gladstone"will in-
troduce a Bill to render criminal the keeping of .heifers loose in a field.
By a Paragraphic Journalist.—Very natural that there should
be " pars" about "Mars."_
" Signal Failures."—Most Railway Aceidents.
141
SEA-SIDE ILLS.
(By Our Man Over-bored.)
A Sea S-Idyll on "Boakd and
Eesidence."
That we hurry out of Town
To the sea,
To be properly done brown,
I '11 agree ;
But of being1 nicely done,
There's another way than one—
Viz., the rays, besides of sun,
£ s. d. !
Now, it may be very cheap
For the chap
Who is rich, to pay a heap
For a nap
On a sofa that is prone
To a prominence of bone,
Or a table undergrown,
With a flap;
But a man who has not much
Of the pelf
To distribute freely, such
As myself,
And who' s ordered change and rest,
Doubts the change is for the best
When he has to lie undress'd
On a shelf!
No; to slumber on a slant
Till you 're floor'd,
Is a luxury I can't
Well afford;
And I'm sad to a degree
Tbat, in Everywhere-on-Sea,
'' Board and Residence'' should be
Mostly board !
" Discovert of a New Satel-
lite to Jupiter."—Well, why
not ? Why announce it as if a
noted thief had been arrested?
•' Discovered ! Aha! Then this
to decide"--cries the Melo-
diamatic Satellite. Poor Jupiter
must be uncommonly tired of his
old Satellites by this time ! flow
pleased, how delighted, he must
be to welcome a new one !
VIEW OF MARS" AS SEEN THROUGH MR. PUNCH'S TELESCOPE.
MORE LIGHTS!
When anyone now in town requires a change from the D^-lights
of Home, let him go to See Lights of Home at the Adelphi. Great scene
of the Wreck not so great perhaps as some
previous sensational Adelphi effects. In such
a piece as " the Lights," it is scarcely fair
that " the Heavies " should have it nearly all
to themselves, but so it is, and the two Light
Comedy parts capitally played by Miss Jecks
and Mr. Lionel Rignold, do not get much
of a chance against the heartrending sorrows
of Miss Evelyn Millard, and of Mrs.
Patrick Campbell, the slighted, or sea-
lighted heroine, known as " Dave's Daugh-
ter " (oh, how fond Mr. W. A. Elliott must
be of Dave Purvis, the weakest sentimen-
. „, • , , m- talist-accidental-lunatic-criminal that ever
NewSensafioan * Was let off scot-fre.e at R- H- first entrance
before the fall of the Curtain), and the
undaunted heroism and unblushing villany of Messrs. Charles
Dalton, Cockburn, Kingston & Co. The title might well have
been, Good Lights of Home, and Wicked Livers all Abroad.
" Top-Dressing."—Said Mr. G. to a Welsh audience, " I might as
well address the top of Snowdon on the subject of the Establishment,
as address you on the matter." Flattery ! The top of Snowdon, of
course, represented the highest intelligence in Wales.
I Pity the poor Investors! " exclaimed Mrs. R. sympathetically,
when she saw the heading of a paragraph in the Times—"Bursting
of a Canal Bank."
A Big Booming Chance Lost !—Miss Lottie Collins, according
to the Standard's report of the proceedings on board the unfortunate
Cepheus, said that, on seeing two jeering men rowing out from
shore, holding up bread to the hungry passengers, she, "had she
been a man, would have shot them." She wasn't a man, and so the
two brutes escaped. But what another "Boom! te-ray,—Ta, ra,
ra" &c, &c, this would have been for La Collins !
Not Improbable.—Lord Rosebery might have ended his diplo-
matic reply to Mr. Thomas Gibson Bowles, M.P., who recently sent
kind inquiries to the Foreign Office, as to the Pamirs and Behring
Sea, Canadian Government, &c, &c, with a P.S. to the effect that
" his correspondent probably considered him as a Jack (in office), and
therefore a legitimate object to score off in the game of Bowles."
The Prodigal Daughter; or, The Boyne- Water Jump, by
Druriolanus Magnus and Pettitt Parvus, was produced with
greatest success, last Saturday, at Old Drury. The general recom-
mendation to the authors will be, as a matter of course, i.e., of
race-course, given in the historic words of Ducrow, " Cut the cackle
and come to the 'osses." When this advice is acted upon, The
Prodigal Daughter, a very fine young woman, but not particularly
prodigal, will produce receipts beyond all cacklelation.
Future Legislation for Next Session.—Mr. Gladstone"will in-
troduce a Bill to render criminal the keeping of .heifers loose in a field.
By a Paragraphic Journalist.—Very natural that there should
be " pars" about "Mars."_
" Signal Failures."—Most Railway Aceidents.