Punch (103.1892)

December 24, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

289

YULE-TIDE—OLD AND NEW.

At the Commencement of the Century.

And they made merry in the good old
fashion. The pictures on the walls were
covered with holly and mistletoe. They had
come from British woods. Then the tables
groaned with Christmas cheer. The baron
of beef was flanked with plum-pudding and
mince-pies. There never was a more jovial
crew. The compliments of the season were
passed round, and the Christmas Waits,
singing their Christmas carols, were enter-
tained right royally. For was it not a time
of peace and good will ? Then there jwas a
mighty laugh. A huge joke had been per-
petrated. Grandfather had been asleep, and
he was telling the youngsters, who had been
playing a round game, the character fii his
dream.

" I give you my word it is true," said the
old man. 4'Yes, I actually forgot it was
Christmas! "

"But it was only in your dreams, Grand-
papa," urged one of his descendants.

" Yes, but that was bad enough," cried the
old man in a tone of self-reproach, "fancy
forgetting Christmas—even in;one's dreams !
Everything seems changing nowadays ! "

But the Grandfather was wrong — the
Christmas bills were unchangeable. And
ever will be!

At the End of the Century.

And certainly it was dull enough in all
conscience. Nowadays everything is dull.
Although it was towards the end of Decem-
ber, the room was decorated with summer
flowers. They had come from Algeria. Then
the side-table was spread with a recherche
repast, for they were all going to dine d la
Russe. But the guests were sad and tho-
roughly bored. They had sent a policeman
after the itinerant street-musicians, with
the desired result. Inside and outside silence
reigned triumphant. Was it not a time for
"moving on" and threatening "six weeks
without the option of a fine " ?

Then there was a deep groan. A young
man — somebody's Grandson — suggested a
round game. At first the suggestion was
received with derision.

_ " You can't get up a Missing Word Compe-
tition," said one. " No, my Grandson, you
can't."

"Can't I?" said the youngster, who had
been called 'Grandson.' "Can't I? Look
here, 1 will write out a Word, and I will bet
you none of you will guess it."

And " Grandson" wrote out a Word on a
piece of paper, and sealed it in a packet.
Then he called out the sentence, " The pre-
sent season of the year is known as-"

Then they all tried to guess it. Some one
said "unfavourable," another "pleasant," a
third "dreary," and a "fourth, "trouble-
some."

But they all were wrong.

At last the sealed-up packet was produced,
and opened. For the first time there was a
smile when the Word was known.

" Who would have thought of it ? " was
the cry.

The word chosen was "Christmas."
"Fancy anyone remembering Christmas!
Even for a Missing Word Competition!
Everything seems changing nowadays ! "

_ But the Grandson was wrong—his Christmas
bills were unchangeable. And ever will be!

"ART COMPETITIONS."

" Since these competitions were started, the
public had been educated in artistic matters, and
their judgment was almost equal to that of the
members of the Koyal Academy."—Mr, Poland's
Speech in the " Missing Word " case.

Mr. Poland said, at Bow Street,
Choosing pictures thus imparts

Judgment good as that of those treat-
Ed as foremost in the arts.

Hitherto each paid his shilling
At the House of Burlington,

Gazed at pictures, feeble, thrilling,
Bad or good, and wandered on—

Stared with awe-struck admiration
At "the Picture of the Year,"

Gained artistic education
In a stuffy atmosphere.

Then all changed; he paid his shilling

And he sent his coupon in
To a weekly paper, willing

To discriminate the tin;

And be wisely praised or blamed, yet
He knew nothing of design,

The Bridge of Bow Street claimed yet
One more shilling as a fine.

Oh, rejoice, Academicians!

Learned Bridge knew what to do;
Artisans or mechanicians

Might have grown as wise as you.

Which would sadden any just man,
And might make an angel weep—

Dicksee distanced by a dustman,
Storey staggered by a sweep!

Boughton beaten by a baker,

Housemaids humbling helpless Hook";

Stone surpassed by sausage-maker,
Cooper conquered by a cook !

Crowe or Crofts crushed by a cow-boy,
Millais made by milkmen mad,

Pettie plucked by any ploughboy,
Leighton licked by butcher's lad !

Ifeffected all you care for,

But Sir John has pulled you"through ;
Bold Bow-Street's Beak is, therefore,

No Bridge of Sighs for you

"A Note on the Appreciation of Gold."
—Send a five-pound note (verified by the
Bank of England) to our office, and we will
undertake to get it changed immediately,
and thereupon to hand over to the Bearer, in
exchange for the note, two golden sovereigns,
and one golden half-sovereign, ready cash.
This will show what is our appreciation of
gold.

voi. cm.