Punch (53.1867)

OUR OPENING ARTICLE.

AGAIN we are called upon, by a voice inaudible to others, to cast
-a- our eyes around the world.

With the aid of a Penny Almanack, containing the list of reigning
sovereigns, we will endeavour to perform this ocular feat.

First upon that list is Great Britain, ruled by Queen Victoria,
with Punch for her Viceroy. We need say no more. Nought shall
make us rue while England to her Punch doth prove but true.

Russia is to be congratulated because Her Emperor, who has endea-
voured to balance his wrongs to the Poles by his boons to the Serfs,
has escaped a madman’s bullet. The Emperor did not choose to come
and see us. The loss is his. We hope that he is making a tremendous
pet of Princess Dagmar.

Austria has not been fortunate. But if Francis-Joseph has the
sense to make Hungary his strength, he may be happy yet. He was
fortunate in having our William Russell to describe the Coronation
splendours, and if Kings have gratitude, will send the said W. R. a
golden pen stuck with diamonds, which article would be of no use, but
might be turned into a breast-pin.

France has her Exposition, and it is worth seeing, especially as it is
graced by the famous figure of Mr. Punch, which so enchanted the
Princess of Wales on her day of entry into London. The Emperob
Napoleon has done well in getting up this great show, but the
Parisians cheat awfully. We hear that all Messrs. Spiers and Pond’s
pretty waitresses have married French Marshals, and that a new supply
is wanted. The Emperor has done well in permitting Victor Hugo’s
plays to be again performed.

Spain, under Isabella the Second, is the home of tyranny and
bigotry. Also, there is no soap to be got in the hotels.

Prussia, and her William the First—who may therefore be called
William the Conqueror—have had tremendous strokes of luck.
It is now for them to show that the luck has been deserved. We saved
Prussia from war with Napoleon, whom she would have found another
kind of enemy than Austria. Let Prussia be grateful, or at least civil
to Englishmen.

Turkey we are about to compliment in the person of the Sultan, to
whom the India Board is to give a fete. Her Majesty is also to take

the Padishah to see a naval fight. Let us hope that he will not be
sick—we think he will.

Italy must really learn self-command and Parliamentary government,
or she will go to the bad. King Victor is a bold dragoon with his
long sword saddle bridle whack, but Italy wants statesmen rather than
soldiers. While speaking of this peninsula, we may mention Rome,
for the sake of hoping that Pius the Ninth is quite well, and pitying
him in the state of awful boredom in which he must be iust now,
with his palace swarming with bishops, clean and dirty.

Denmark, and King Christian the Ninth, are our good friends,
for their own sakes, and for the sake of the Princess who, we trust,
is really cured of her long affliction, in which we have all sympathised
with her. Mr. Punch intends to give a tremendous shout, the first,
time he meets H.R.H. in the Park, and then to rush home and pour as
tremendous a libation in her honour.

We perceive in the Pennv Almanack on which we base our leading
article, (and it would be well if all our contemporaries were as well
informed,) that there are a lot of other places, such as Sweden, Portugal,
Greece, Switzerland, and the Netherlands. We have no hostility to
any of them, in fact we wish them all well, but as nobody ever hears of
them, it is difficult to frame compliments which shall meet each indi-
vidual case. If they would get up wars or revolutions, we should
have something to say, and there is some thoughtlessness in the selfish
tranquillity that leaves us without material for remark.

Lastly, because we are not sure that we don’t like him best of the
whole lot, there is our friend and cousin Jonathan of the States. He
is reconstructing, and we wish all success to his experiments. Presi-
dent Johnson is gone on a Masonic tour, and we drink the health of
the Worshipful Master. Horace Greely has shown pluck in bailing
Jefferson Davis—it is a sign that the veteran of the North sees that
all bother is over, whereat we rejoice. That Atlantic Telegraph,
which brings New York news every day as fresh as eggs, is a
necessary of fife. How did we get on before it was laid ?

The World may now proceed in its accustomed way, subject to the
aws of gravitation and the dominion of


Vol. 53.

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