Punch (53.1867)

December 14, 1867.]

259

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE P. AND O. ALL EIGHT.

{Supposed to be Sung in the Southampton Chamber
of Commerce.)

The P. and 0.,

Not Jong ago,

Was rather in a plague and pother.

The Government
Betrayed intent,

To give the Mail unto another.

All that is past.

And hard and fast
0 now behold them reunited.

And, by the State
Assured of eight

Per cent., the Shareholders delighted !

’Tis all agreed,

The act and deed

Are duly signed, and sealed, and stamped on,
Now bless their Boats
Whose line promotes

The trade and commerce of Southampton.

Horse Latin.

(From Cockney College.)

To Equestrians. When your horses sit down,
and you all fall off, it is merely BacJcs-sedent-all.
(Necessary explanation—H’accidental.)

Urbi et Orbi.

CUTTING !

Host. “What Bin dtd you put that Marsala in, Muggles ? ”
New Butler. “ In the—ah—Dust-Bin, Sir! !”

The Hunchback’s Charge.—If this has reference
to the cost of Mr. Punch’s Almanack, it may be
as well to state that the price of that blooming
annual is the same as ever—only Threepence !

FASHIONABLE AVICIDE.

Ladies, Fashionable Ladies, please to look at this important intelli-
gence from Paris:—

“ Velvets, furs, and feathers will be the mode duringthe coming winter. Kobes,

\ bonnets, hats, mantles, and muffs are to be of one or other of them, or of two of
them combined. For velvets the fashionable shades of colour will be violet, Bis-
marck, capucine—a rich golden orange tint—‘flamme de Punch,' and a deep puce.”

Ladies, by the way, what is Bismarck colour? Assuredly not
green, if it he like t he man. And what is “ flamme de Punch” colour ?
Generally read, eh? Minds feminine of course are stored with know-
ledge of this sort, and can distinguish to a shade the difference between
Solferino and Magenta, just as at election time a man can tell the
difference between Yellows and True Blues. It is troublesome to men,
however, to keep their minds informed of all the novel names of
fashionable colours, and terrible mistakes are committed through their
ignorance. Many a suitor must have sunk in the opinion of the lady
he is courting, merely by forgetting what new colour she preferred.
How would Angelina pout at him, if Edwin, being ordered to buy
some Bismarck ribbon for her, were to forget the name completely,
and bring some common colour, such as servants only wear !

But, Ladies, this is what yon ought especially to look at:—

“ The feathers are ostrich, peacock, pheasant, bird of paradise, humming-bird,
grebe, swansdown, and marabout. Feather bonnets and hats are already largely
worn ; feather muffs are common enough ; fur bonnets with strings to match are
creeping into favour. * * * Silk and other robes are trimmed with hands of
peacock’s and pheasant’s feathers, or a rich passementerie, which exactly reproduces
them, and with galons of swansdown.”

“Galons of swansdown!” There should be another “1” surely.
Imagine any lady wearing gallons of swansdown ! How many gallons
must she wear to be completely in the fashion ? And when covered
with so vast a quantity of swansdown, would she look more like a
little duck, or a great goose ?

Fine feathers may make fine birds, but can they ever make fine
ladies ? And is it not a pity that fine birds should be destroyed for
the mere sake of their fine feathers ? Now that swansdown is in
fashion, swans will everywhere be slaughtered. There will be a hunt
for humming-birds and a massacre of marabouts : grebes will greedily
be grabbed, and birds of paradise pursued: peacocks be pitched into,
and pheasants be battued, that their feathers may be made up into
mantles, muffs and bonnets. Clearly, anyone who sings Oh, Would I
were a Bird ! would run into great danger while feathers are so fashion-

able. At least one specially would shrink from being metamorphosed
into any of the birds whose names above are catalogued. Far better
just at present be a sparrow than a swan: and, notwithstanding his
long legs and supernatural digestion, an ostrich scarcely can expect,
while the feather fashion lasts, to live so long as a cock robin.

Peacocks and pheasants may perhaps find some little mercy shown
them, because their feathers happen to be imitated easily. We are
told “ a rich passementerie exactly reproduces them.” Surely other-
feathers also might be copied without difficulty. What a good thing
it would be, Ladies, if, instead of real feathers, you would venture to
wear sham ones ! Think how many pretty birds you would save by
this slight sacrifice! Let it only be announced in your notes of
invitation, “ P.S. Please to come in imitation feathers.” You might
fairly plume yourselves on doing a kind act, and all your feathered
friends would thank you most sincerely.

An Extenuating Circumstance.

To hang is human : to reprieve divine,

But what absurdity could be absurder,

To hang for any crime whilst you design,

Than that High Treason should extenuate Murder ?

Operatic Quotation.

(From, Masaniello.)

On a gay Widow giving up her Weeds for Colours.—“ Behold, behold
how brightly, brightly breaks the mourning ! ”

NEW ROYALTY.

Black-eyed Susan must be a very fast young lady, as she goes on
running after three hundred and sixty Knights.

Lily Maxwell.—Jacob Bright’s voteress and John Mill’s
votaress.

Uevival op a Saxon Title for the Home-Secretary (sug-
gested by Max MDlleb, with a cold in his head.)—HARDY-can-do’fc.

Tee Costermonger’s Flower {to be cultivated).—A Hardy Plant.