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198 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Mat l, 1880.

/ESTHETIC INCONSISTENCY.

“ Ain’t I the Cheese, ain't I the Cheese ?

Round by the Serpentine, under the trees !

Ain’t 1 the Cheese, ain’t I the Cheese ?

As I walk in the Park with my pretty Louise ! ’’ &c., &c.

Thus (with Appropriate Action, and to a Rudimentary Accompaniment of two chords in C by his Friend Bob Todeson
sings young Lord Plantagenet Cadbury, on the occasion of his First Visit to Mr. and Mrs. Cimabue Brown,—who, as
a Rule, will hear of none but the severest Classical Music, and walk straight out of the Room if you venture on a
Comic Song. The C. B.’s sit listening in Sculpturesque Attitudes expressive of Rapt Attention, and even Encore the
Noble Performer !

No wonder Grigsby, an accomplished Comic Vocalist of some Thirty Years’ standing, but who never gets a chance

OF BEING HEARD AT THE HOUSE OF HIS OLD FRIENDS, THE ClMABUE BROWNS, FEELS SOMEWHAT BlTTER !

EDUCATIONAL EE ACTION;

OR, WHAT IT MAY COME TO.

{A page from the note-book of Mr. Punch's Prophetic Reporter.)

The Annual Intellectual Sports of the Athletes of Thew-cum-
Tussle Academy were held a few days since in the large recreation
room attached to the establishment. As usual on such occasions, a
number of friends and relations of the pupils assembled to watch
the various contests. The sports were perfectly successful, and
caused the greatest possible excitement. In spite of the silence in
which they were conducted, the audience seemed to regard the
events with the liveliest interest. Many of the brain-races were
won by small hoys, who, in they ordinary routine of school work,
seldom come to the front. For instance, the Rule of Three Handi-
cap for Lads under Fifteen was carried off by Puny Junior—a
youngster who, in the Educational Course Books, scarcely earns
the name of athlete. This youth has never distinguished himself in
any branch of learning. For the last three terms he has remained
in the Junior Sack-racing Department. Swatter Major, too, who
was the first to pass the Examiner’s Chair in Latin, although up-
wards of eighteen years of age, has not yet attained the honour of
a place in the School Cricketing Sixteen. On the other hand, it was
a little disappointing to find O’Polo (an Irishman, and the Captain
of the Eleven) absolutely last in the French and German Exercises,
when the butt of the Academy, Flutter Major, actually managed
to secure the Second Prize for Mixed Mathematics.

However, victories and defeats were accepted in equal good part,

and winners and losers seemed to experience a common satisfaction.
Thus it was that, amidst enthusiastic cheering, the wife of the Head-
Master, Mrs. Hardisty, entered the room at six o’clock to distribute
the Prizes. On the completion of this interesting ceremony, Mr.
Hardisty delivered his address.

He had been greatly pleased to find that prowess in the fields did
not always mean inaction in the study. {Cheers.) It was most im-
portant to all of them to keep their bodies in a state of the greatest
possible perfection. Still, to attain this great object, it was not
altogether necessary to neglect their minds. All play and no work
made Jack a dull boy. {A laugh.) And it was, therefore just as
well that, occasionally—say once a year—{cheers)—every one should
desert athletics for pursuits of a more intellectual character.. He
himself did not pretend to excel in any of the sports in which so
many of his young friends had distinguished themselves that day.
(“ No, no!") He frankly confessed that he knew more about cricket
than Euclid, and infinitely preferred football to the Classics. {Loud
cheers.) Still, he could appreciate excellence in every department,
and it was gratifying to find that his pupils could, afford time to
relax their muscles in order that they might use their brains. But
he strenuously counselled moderation. Intellectual sports were all
very well now and again, but to devote too much attention to them
would be a most dangerous proceeding. {Cheers f His pupils would
soon have to face the world, and their success in after-life would
depend entirely upon their physique. Only in the fields could health
be obtained, and jumping, racing, and hammer-throwing, must
never be neglected for such mental recreations as Classics and
Mathematics. {Loud cheers.) In a word, the body must never be
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