DOI issue:
May 8, 1880
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17763#0210
Mat 8, 1880.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
205
A REGULAR TURK.
Tommy {who has just been operated on). “ I mean to be a Dentist, when 1
GROW HP.”
Aunt Annie. “ Why, Dear ? ”
Tommy. “To have Revenge/”
MEDICAL MJVS.
Dear Dr. Punch,
_ Reflecting persons have begun to see that, for
legislation on sanitary matters and questions involving
medical science, the services of a sufficient number of
competent Medical Men such as yourself, Sir, are wanted
in the House of Commons. You, of course, personally,
are engaged elsewhere. In other cases the objection may
be taken that physicians, surgeons, and general prac-
titioners of eminence would find it impossible to attend
to both their patients and their parliamentary duties.
Yain would be the ring at the night-bell.of an Honour-
able Gentleman accustomed to spend his night at St.
Stephen’s, after the usual fashion of the votaries of that
protomartyr, and not to go home till morning, till day-
light doth appear.
But the world knows nothing of its greatest
medical men, like you know whom, Sir. Philosophers
accustomed to think for themselves, declare their
thoughts, and deviate from routine, thereby alarm the
majority of both their Profession and the Public, get
themselves reputed eccentric, and obtain a practice, if
any, very select indeed.
A moderate number of Medical Members of that sort
would suffice for the requirements of the House. How
are they to be made members of it ? Obviously by soli-
citing them to take seats, and paying them pretty
handsomely when they take them, so as to make it
worth their while to sit!
If those conditions could not be fulfilled, it might be
found more practicable to introduce medical philo,sophy
into the Legislature via the House of Lords.
Of the two Houses, a Physician or Surgeon, Physiologist
and rational being, would decidedly prefer the Peers, on
account of the reasonable hours wont to be kept in that
House, as compared with the other. Also, because of
the comparative brevity of Noble Lords’ eloquence.
I enclose my card, by which your readers will perceive
that I am at home from ten till twelve in the morning,
and from three till five in the afternoon. In the mean-
while believe me your affectionate Brother Chip,
Asclepius Johnson.
1, Centaur Street, Chiron Place,
House round the Corner.
A Very Old Master.
A report of a recent meeting of the Senate at Cam-
bridge states that the candidate for B.D. “ is required
to be a M.A., of at least four years’ standing from crea-
tion.” At that rate, there must be Masters of Arts
nearly as old as Adam. Or does Darwinism rather re-
quire us to read for “Adam” the first Anthropoid Ape, or
Marine Ascidian ?
IN THE TEETH OE THE LATE NORTH-EASTER.
Mr. Gladstone. First Lord of the Treasury and Chancellor of the
Exchequer? Hum! Well. I suppose I can’t say “no.” But,
consider a moment; wouldn’t Hartington, now-?
Marquis of Hartington. Oh, pray don’t mind me ! Anything will
do for me. Here, I ’il have India !
Pari Spencer. And a very good thing too; why, look at me, I’m
onlv Lord President of the Council!
The Puke of Argyll. What ? You grumbling ? Why, I’ve only
got the Privy Seal! What am I to do with the Privy Seal ?
Mr. Bright. About as much as I shall with the Duchy of Lan-
caster ! The Duchy of Lancaster! Do they think that they ’re
going to muzzle me with that ?
Mr. Chamberlain. If they do, they must regard it as of a far
tougher material, than the Board of Trade. The Board of Trade,
indeed ! That’s it, is it ? It doesn’t sound like a Caucus, does it ?
But. ha! ha ! You wait. You ’ll see!
Mr. W. E. Forster. Wait? One would have thought that waiting
might have led to something a little better than the Irish
Secretaryship.
Lord Selborne. Well, here I am again. And I don’t mean to miss
my chance this time.
Earl of Kimberley. Quite right: no more do I. No,—if there is
any weak point in the Cabinet, it is certainly not-
Sir William Harcourt. The Home Department. My tact, discre-
tion, and general diplomatic habit of mind would, perhaps, have
been displayed to greater advantage in the role of-
Earl Granville. Foreign Secretary? Not a bit of it! I am, par
excellence, the right man in the right place.
Mr. H. C. E. Childers. Most certainly. And, I wish I could say
as much for myself. The War Office!—Why the very first thing 1
shall do will be to teach the permanent heads the Hornpipe !
Earl of Northbrook. Really ? Weil, I wish you would, give me a
lesson first. I learnt a good deal in India, but, alas !—not that!
Mr. Dodson. Well, my Lords and Gentlemen—we’ve all a good
deal to learn. Even an efficient President of the Local Government
Board isn’t made in a day!
Nihilism Annihilated.
General Loris Melixoff is reported from St. Petersburg to be
“doing all in his power to finish as quickly as possible with
Nihilism.” Should he succeed in so doing, Melixoff will be en-
titled to change his name to Finishoff. Success to him in his
endeavour to reduce Nihilism to Nil.
Post hoc et Propter hoc.—A little Cross, he was. A grand
Cross, he is.
Von. 78.
7
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
205
A REGULAR TURK.
Tommy {who has just been operated on). “ I mean to be a Dentist, when 1
GROW HP.”
Aunt Annie. “ Why, Dear ? ”
Tommy. “To have Revenge/”
MEDICAL MJVS.
Dear Dr. Punch,
_ Reflecting persons have begun to see that, for
legislation on sanitary matters and questions involving
medical science, the services of a sufficient number of
competent Medical Men such as yourself, Sir, are wanted
in the House of Commons. You, of course, personally,
are engaged elsewhere. In other cases the objection may
be taken that physicians, surgeons, and general prac-
titioners of eminence would find it impossible to attend
to both their patients and their parliamentary duties.
Yain would be the ring at the night-bell.of an Honour-
able Gentleman accustomed to spend his night at St.
Stephen’s, after the usual fashion of the votaries of that
protomartyr, and not to go home till morning, till day-
light doth appear.
But the world knows nothing of its greatest
medical men, like you know whom, Sir. Philosophers
accustomed to think for themselves, declare their
thoughts, and deviate from routine, thereby alarm the
majority of both their Profession and the Public, get
themselves reputed eccentric, and obtain a practice, if
any, very select indeed.
A moderate number of Medical Members of that sort
would suffice for the requirements of the House. How
are they to be made members of it ? Obviously by soli-
citing them to take seats, and paying them pretty
handsomely when they take them, so as to make it
worth their while to sit!
If those conditions could not be fulfilled, it might be
found more practicable to introduce medical philo,sophy
into the Legislature via the House of Lords.
Of the two Houses, a Physician or Surgeon, Physiologist
and rational being, would decidedly prefer the Peers, on
account of the reasonable hours wont to be kept in that
House, as compared with the other. Also, because of
the comparative brevity of Noble Lords’ eloquence.
I enclose my card, by which your readers will perceive
that I am at home from ten till twelve in the morning,
and from three till five in the afternoon. In the mean-
while believe me your affectionate Brother Chip,
Asclepius Johnson.
1, Centaur Street, Chiron Place,
House round the Corner.
A Very Old Master.
A report of a recent meeting of the Senate at Cam-
bridge states that the candidate for B.D. “ is required
to be a M.A., of at least four years’ standing from crea-
tion.” At that rate, there must be Masters of Arts
nearly as old as Adam. Or does Darwinism rather re-
quire us to read for “Adam” the first Anthropoid Ape, or
Marine Ascidian ?
IN THE TEETH OE THE LATE NORTH-EASTER.
Mr. Gladstone. First Lord of the Treasury and Chancellor of the
Exchequer? Hum! Well. I suppose I can’t say “no.” But,
consider a moment; wouldn’t Hartington, now-?
Marquis of Hartington. Oh, pray don’t mind me ! Anything will
do for me. Here, I ’il have India !
Pari Spencer. And a very good thing too; why, look at me, I’m
onlv Lord President of the Council!
The Puke of Argyll. What ? You grumbling ? Why, I’ve only
got the Privy Seal! What am I to do with the Privy Seal ?
Mr. Bright. About as much as I shall with the Duchy of Lan-
caster ! The Duchy of Lancaster! Do they think that they ’re
going to muzzle me with that ?
Mr. Chamberlain. If they do, they must regard it as of a far
tougher material, than the Board of Trade. The Board of Trade,
indeed ! That’s it, is it ? It doesn’t sound like a Caucus, does it ?
But. ha! ha ! You wait. You ’ll see!
Mr. W. E. Forster. Wait? One would have thought that waiting
might have led to something a little better than the Irish
Secretaryship.
Lord Selborne. Well, here I am again. And I don’t mean to miss
my chance this time.
Earl of Kimberley. Quite right: no more do I. No,—if there is
any weak point in the Cabinet, it is certainly not-
Sir William Harcourt. The Home Department. My tact, discre-
tion, and general diplomatic habit of mind would, perhaps, have
been displayed to greater advantage in the role of-
Earl Granville. Foreign Secretary? Not a bit of it! I am, par
excellence, the right man in the right place.
Mr. H. C. E. Childers. Most certainly. And, I wish I could say
as much for myself. The War Office!—Why the very first thing 1
shall do will be to teach the permanent heads the Hornpipe !
Earl of Northbrook. Really ? Weil, I wish you would, give me a
lesson first. I learnt a good deal in India, but, alas !—not that!
Mr. Dodson. Well, my Lords and Gentlemen—we’ve all a good
deal to learn. Even an efficient President of the Local Government
Board isn’t made in a day!
Nihilism Annihilated.
General Loris Melixoff is reported from St. Petersburg to be
“doing all in his power to finish as quickly as possible with
Nihilism.” Should he succeed in so doing, Melixoff will be en-
titled to change his name to Finishoff. Success to him in his
endeavour to reduce Nihilism to Nil.
Post hoc et Propter hoc.—A little Cross, he was. A grand
Cross, he is.
Von. 78.
7