DOI Heft:
February 7, 1880
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17763#0057
TOO BAD!”
The New Cook. “ Well, \ declare ! Here I’ve beef and give’ Six Guineas for a new Dress to keep up the r’specta-
BILITY OF THE ’OUSE, AND HERE’S MlSSIS, IN A DOWDY THIRTY SHILLIN’ ‘UlSTRER,’ A-COMIN’ FROM THAT THERE ‘LADIES’
Co-operative Economical Millingery Association ’ ! ”
SAFEGUARDING THE EMPIEE.
{An Imperial Eclogue.)
Interlocutors—Benjamin, an ancient Swain ; Betsy Prig, an elderly Nymph.
Betsy.
Ah ! go it, my Benjamin, go it! and don’t you be dashed by them Rads,
Which the old woman’s reglar ashamed of, the paltry poor-sperrited Cads !
As would choke down Imperial Instinks, as Eving implants in our ’arts
To teach us we ’re cocks of all walks, spite of ’umbugging low forren parts.
Benjamin.
Ah, Betsy, if all were like you, what a rare rosy time I should have
In my efforts to counterwork Gladstone, and checkmate the insolent Slav !
But, alas! Bull seems shifting his blinkers—ahem!—I mean dropping his
pecker,
His conscience is apt to grow tender in sight of an empty Exchequer.
Betsy.
Pooh, pooh! Peg away, my dear Ben. Afghanistan is ourn every hinch.
Can’t we do what we like with our own ? You’ve a trick or two left, at a pinch.
There’s them Ingyan Princes, you know, they ’re all game for a nice bit of prig!
Which’twould bustle them Rooshians delightful, the imperdent Waggabones!
Twig F
Benjamin.
You were meant for a Ruler of Men, with “a hand full of sceptres,” dear
Betsy,
In place of your gingham, though that has much helped me, my old Petsy-
Wetsy.
Only one little hint I must give, don’t get too sublimely ecstatic,
Or speak out too plainly, my Prig, for you see that is scarce diplomatic.
Betsy.
Dipplymattic be—well, there, I won’t—but it do rouge me up, that it do :
My buzzum’s abile when I thinks of that bloodthirsty Muskywhite crew,
A pickin’ and stealin’ all round amidst England’s pecooliar perks.
Rights? No one’s no right to no rights, ’cept ourselves and our pardners the
Turks.
Benjamin.
Humph! perfectly sound, my sweet Betsy, in principle,
perfectly so,
But a leetle too nakedly put; apt to startle the weak-
knee’d, you know.
Neat phrases that cover no end without scaring the pious
or finical,
Give Imperial principles play, and yet save them from
being dubbed “cynical.”
Betsy.
The frontier you called scientific, they say’s on the shift.
Well, what then ?
’Tisn’t like the equator—a fixture. We ’ll shift it agen
and agen.
Like a pencil-line marked on a map, Ingy-rubber ’ll soon
wipe it out.
Our frontier is jest where we want it, of that only fools
’ave a doubt.
Benjamin.
Good again, my dear Betsy ! Our plan for safeguarding
the Empire is plain:
We will go wheresoever we wish, and wheresoever we
choose will remain.
But that’s entre nous, my sweet Prig, in acquainting
John Bull with our game,
Imperium atque libertas sounds better—and means just
the same ! [Left chuckling.
MILLENNIAL MAXIM.
Si vis pacem, para helium.. Is it a belief in this maxim
that induces the Great Powers of Europe to go on
arming each against each in a continually increasing
ratio ? If so, how extremely pacific their intention^
must be!
The New Cook. “ Well, \ declare ! Here I’ve beef and give’ Six Guineas for a new Dress to keep up the r’specta-
BILITY OF THE ’OUSE, AND HERE’S MlSSIS, IN A DOWDY THIRTY SHILLIN’ ‘UlSTRER,’ A-COMIN’ FROM THAT THERE ‘LADIES’
Co-operative Economical Millingery Association ’ ! ”
SAFEGUARDING THE EMPIEE.
{An Imperial Eclogue.)
Interlocutors—Benjamin, an ancient Swain ; Betsy Prig, an elderly Nymph.
Betsy.
Ah ! go it, my Benjamin, go it! and don’t you be dashed by them Rads,
Which the old woman’s reglar ashamed of, the paltry poor-sperrited Cads !
As would choke down Imperial Instinks, as Eving implants in our ’arts
To teach us we ’re cocks of all walks, spite of ’umbugging low forren parts.
Benjamin.
Ah, Betsy, if all were like you, what a rare rosy time I should have
In my efforts to counterwork Gladstone, and checkmate the insolent Slav !
But, alas! Bull seems shifting his blinkers—ahem!—I mean dropping his
pecker,
His conscience is apt to grow tender in sight of an empty Exchequer.
Betsy.
Pooh, pooh! Peg away, my dear Ben. Afghanistan is ourn every hinch.
Can’t we do what we like with our own ? You’ve a trick or two left, at a pinch.
There’s them Ingyan Princes, you know, they ’re all game for a nice bit of prig!
Which’twould bustle them Rooshians delightful, the imperdent Waggabones!
Twig F
Benjamin.
You were meant for a Ruler of Men, with “a hand full of sceptres,” dear
Betsy,
In place of your gingham, though that has much helped me, my old Petsy-
Wetsy.
Only one little hint I must give, don’t get too sublimely ecstatic,
Or speak out too plainly, my Prig, for you see that is scarce diplomatic.
Betsy.
Dipplymattic be—well, there, I won’t—but it do rouge me up, that it do :
My buzzum’s abile when I thinks of that bloodthirsty Muskywhite crew,
A pickin’ and stealin’ all round amidst England’s pecooliar perks.
Rights? No one’s no right to no rights, ’cept ourselves and our pardners the
Turks.
Benjamin.
Humph! perfectly sound, my sweet Betsy, in principle,
perfectly so,
But a leetle too nakedly put; apt to startle the weak-
knee’d, you know.
Neat phrases that cover no end without scaring the pious
or finical,
Give Imperial principles play, and yet save them from
being dubbed “cynical.”
Betsy.
The frontier you called scientific, they say’s on the shift.
Well, what then ?
’Tisn’t like the equator—a fixture. We ’ll shift it agen
and agen.
Like a pencil-line marked on a map, Ingy-rubber ’ll soon
wipe it out.
Our frontier is jest where we want it, of that only fools
’ave a doubt.
Benjamin.
Good again, my dear Betsy ! Our plan for safeguarding
the Empire is plain:
We will go wheresoever we wish, and wheresoever we
choose will remain.
But that’s entre nous, my sweet Prig, in acquainting
John Bull with our game,
Imperium atque libertas sounds better—and means just
the same ! [Left chuckling.
MILLENNIAL MAXIM.
Si vis pacem, para helium.. Is it a belief in this maxim
that induces the Great Powers of Europe to go on
arming each against each in a continually increasing
ratio ? If so, how extremely pacific their intention^
must be!